A lot has changed in my life in the year or so since i last checked in with you all. I’m going through a really tough time in my life. Its almost like I would like to restart this year over again and tell myself what I know now. Its more so related to relationship wise stuff. So I guess this goes out to you. You know who you are. I know you’ll never read this, but here its almost like I’m giving you an open letter about how my heart feels.
Looking back at about a year, I wish we never happened. I had certain expectations set for myself. I told myself this was it, it was never going to happen again. But I think the rough part was, was that I obviously still loved you. And, I clearly still do. My heart is sitting here breaking, and I’m thinking about the conversations we would have. Now, I don’t even know if they were true. I don’t know if you were just using me. I don’t understand. I thought this was actually going to work out, I thought this was a sign that we actually were supposed to be together. Sadly, I was mistaken. I don’t want to hear about you, but I do. It makes me angry that you still tell me one thing, but you do another. You tell me that you’re going to start over again, but you don’t you just keep in your old selfish ways. I thought we were doing the right thing, I thought we were doing this for you to grow. Yet, now I don’t believe this is the case anymore. You make me sit here and think, “ What did I do wrong?”. I’m sitting in the same place I was before, thinking the same exact thing. You put me in this position of feeling extreme dread everyday. I can even begin to fathom the feelings I’m feeling inside right now. I honestly thought you were the one, this was it. We’re older, stupid petty stuff doesn’t matter anymore. But nope, that was wrong. I feel the reasons why we didn’t work out weren’t valid. I feel that this is all because of something stupid like that drug that you do. And that hurts me, but I mean this is the path you’ve chosen. You say every time you’re going to change, you are going to do good and start again. It’s been months already and I have not seen a single change. But this is all on you bud. You’ve decided which way you’ve wanted your life to go, and as badly as I want to help you and be there for you I can’t do it anymore. I feel after what you owe me and away, we won’t have any more contact. Which hurts me, but I feel like it doesn’t hurt you. In a way, I suppose this was just a learning experience, at least just for me. I guess all I wanted to say here was I hope it all works out for you in the end.
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
2087
