MEN HAVE USED HER MEANLY.

YOU ARE THE STUFF OF LEGENDS ! they call you hero, o, hero ! save us, o, mighty! yet you revel in death & in battle. a ghoul in all but name. blood beneath nails & spattered upon teeth & you may be good but you have never been capable of softness. o, hero ! o, monster ! the war turned you into a weapon & worst of all, you liked it. ind. & priv. canon - divergent warden tabris of dragon age: origins. written by rain.

[jcined-blog]

i love shit that frames the warden as being a mature person in comparison to hawke and the inky because alia is A Horrible Fucking Gremlin

[jcined-blog]

couldntbcloved‌:

✗ ; ——— Nakoma was unphased by Alia’s seemingly harsh tone. Of course, she wasn’t about to tell her that she was wrong, per se. Feelings weren’t something that were inherently correct or incorrect, just as magic was not inherently good or evil (of course, that most likely depended on who you asked). But regardless of beliefs, all Nakoma did was give the definition.

     Still.. It was quite sad, wasn’t it?

     “Foolish? Perhaps.”

     Maybe it was a fruitless effort to try and change her mind. She’d never been much good at persuasion, after all. And Nakoma knew that, for her own reasons, Alia was not wrong to feel the way that she did. 

     “If I were to hit you right now, would you hit me back?”

     A rather odd and out-of-nowhere type of question, yes. But a relevant one all the same. 

It’s a reminder of Justice; the spirit unable to understand her justice, and she unable to understand his.  Back then, she had been fragile; doubting herself and her abilities, and Justice’s words had made her question.  If his idea of Justice was the right one, then the world truly was built to hurt the downtrod.  It made her frustrated --- even sad.

She’s not unsure of herself any longer.  Still, that curiosity remains.  EVEN NOW, ALWAYS WANTING TO LEARN.  Alia’s brow quirks --- IF I HIT YOU RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU HIT ME BACK?  Odd question, but Alia feels like this is going to lead back to mercy, and so the woman takes a moment to consider it.  NORMALLY?  Yeah.  But ---

Ah, well.  She’s never been good at hitting kids.  Or spirits that look like kids.  “No.  I don’t hurt kids.”  She spent too many years being the child that other people harmed; too many years being an easy target for people who should have been better to her.

Besides.  Alia has endured far worse than strikes.

[jcined-blog]

valorcorrupt‌:

     “Do you think she gave the boys the same talk?” Inara DOUBTS IT. Especially in Alistair’s case. Wynne sees him as – well. She MOTHERS him, and it’s not hard to see it. Not hard to ENVY it. 

If you were the type to envy such a thing. 

And she is. Inara is. Alia doesn’t seem to be. And yet– and yet, they have this in common. This awful, incredible frustration. 

     “Why does she think so little of us?”

“Doubt it.  That would mean she’d have to make eye contact with Zevran for more than thirty seconds.”  Wynne mothers Alistair and doesn’t like Zevran and --- doesn’t seem entirely sure about Alia.  SHE GETS IT.  Wynne is all gentle and soft and following the letter of the law.  Alia is chaos and burning shit down.

Alia doesn’t envy it, but she doesn’t pretend it’s not frustrating.  Wynne always acts like choice and freedom are BAD THINGS.

“Because she’s old and convinced she knows best,” Alia replies with a groan.  “She thinks we’re stupid and naive.  Like we haven’t both seen twice as much shit as she has.”

[demrpmemesandinboxstuff-blog1]

Send me 'last breath' for my muse to die in your muse's arms.

Put ‘inverse’ at the end for your muse to die on mines arms.

[jcined-blog]

even back in the alienage, despite the strong themes of familial bonds (  the alienage collectively refers to all other members of the alienage as family, even in the absence an actual blood relationship  ) alia was fairly isolated.  it was just a necessity with her magic; the more people she was close to, the more would know.  shianni and soris, her practical siblings, were kept at arm’s length, so you can imagine how much of the rest of the alienage was.  that the rest were so closely bonded made her own isolation feel heightened, and alia was very, very lonely.

this means that when she becomes a warden, even though she has no need to hide from these people (  or at least, she needn’t do it because of magic  ), that it’s very difficult for her to get close to them.  she wants to!  but she’s been alone for so long.  she doesn’t know how to be anything else; how to invite people close, or let them close when they try.  she’s clumsy, but trying.

[longestnight]

i bite back now

[jcined-blog]

dragontongued‌:

          “I’d be interested, yes,” she replies with a slight smile. Despite the subject matter, Avexis is never adverse to learning something new. When she was still in the Spire, knowledge was power to her in a place where she afforded little of it. Even today, she is ever the scholar, though now there is a whole wealth of knowledge available to her with less than half of the restrictions there once was. “Ah, but I can’t very well give you nothing in return for you going out of you way like this for me.”

“It’s hardly going outta my way.  ‘Sides, what good’s a hero who can’t help other people help themselves?”  Hero’s a bad term for what she is, but it’s what they all want to call her.  Besides.  The Inquisitor could probably use a break from being the only hero.  “Not like I’m committing to being your lifelong trainer or anything.  Just gettin’ you started is hardly a huge commitment.”

[jcined-blog]

WHY ARE YOU BARING YOUR FANGS, SLASHING YOUR CLAWS?  THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE MEAN.  EVERYTHING IN THIS FOREST WANTS TO HURT US.  EVERYTHING IN THIS FOREST NEEDS TO BE KILLED.  independent & private.  canon - divergent warden tabris.  as loved by rain.

[jcined-blog]

antichant‌:

being here feels like a noose around his neck ——  not everyone knows but everyone sees and word travels fast. it’s always has, without fail. remembering that night feels like the floor falling out from beneath him and he had almost done an unforgivable act, something that he would have NEVER FORGIVEN HIMSELF FOR. ( then again, the things you refuse to forgive yourself for pile up higher than these mountains, don’t they? )

she gives thanks and she claims fault and there is a burning in his chest / heart / throat and he stands at the battlements, worn and furious at nothing and everything. ❝ it wasn’t just you, ❞ his voice is rough and almost distant and the fault lies with him as well, perhaps. always encouraging anders, always telling him that what he’s doing was right —— where did things go wrong? what hadn’t he seen? what drove that betrayal? what —— questions that keep him up at night. he looks at her and the lines of his face are hard and it feels as if there’s a noose around his neck, waiting. ❝ it was my fault. and his, ❞ a pause. ❝ i almost killed him. i wanted to. you should know that, if you’re gonna bother thanking me. ❞

They have both suffered for being heroes and she is tired of being here, trapped in high stone walls that feel like a prison she escaped only ten years ago, hearing a song that she loveshatesloathes, dying much like him but with far more efficiency.  Tired of being a walking Shriek and tired of searching for a way to live and tired of having to save things.  But becoming a Warden (  THE WARDEN  ) brought her many good things, too --- food and shelter and companions she didn’t have to hide from, respect and freedom AND POWER.  (  the war made her into a weapon and she loved every moment of it.  )  Being a hero has been good for her, even if it is killing her slowly.  It has not been good for him.

It makes her sad.  Alia isn’t soft and she never will be, but for now she tries to keep from being sharp.  “You didn’t hear me and Justice telling him to turn into a damned revolutionary.  My Anders was selfish and shallow and shitty.  He’d never stick his neck out the way yours did.  Me and Justice made him something else.”  It’s true; her fault.  Hackles raise at the thought of ANDERS DYING, at least in part because that would have been her fault, too.  “Yeah.  I almost killed him a couple of times, too.”  It’s not a joke but it falls flat anyway.  “You didn’t, and I’m still grateful for that.”

[vivagoldstar-deactivated2018082]

ON BEING RAISED ON FAIRY TALES IN WHICH YOU ARE THE MONSTER young one, there are things in this forest that want to hurt you yes, we mean the forest we are raising you in yes, we mean the forest we will not let you leave young one, the only things in this forest want to hurt you   young one, the things in this forest have claws and fangs yes, we mean claws like the ones on your hands yes, we mean fangs like the ones in your mouth yes, we mean you should avoid things with claws and fangs they are dangerous and only want to hurt you young one, everything in this forest needs to be killed they’re dangerous, too dangerous to live yes, we mean this forest that you are in yes, we mean this forest we will not let you leave    the things are so dangerous, young one yes, we mean things like you nothing good lives in this forest that’s why we won’t let anything leave    young one, why are you looking at us like that? why are you baring your fangs, slashing your claws? this is exactly what we mean everything in this forest wants to hurt us everything in this forest needs to be killed

A.M.H. (via valorcorrupt)

[jcined-blog]

@antichant liked!  /  VINH.

It’s a complex well of sickness and guilt and quiet fury, meeting this CHAMPION.  (  if she knows anything about titles  /  if she knows anything about her own  /  she suspects he hates it.  )  Anders used and betrayed him and long before that Anders CORRUPTED HIMSELF.  did she corrupt him?  told him to fight for mages.  called him cowardly for not doing it.  my friend my friend my friend          

She stands beside another hero atop the battlements nevertheless, arms crossed.  It’s silent for a long moment, curls blowing against her cheeks.  “------ Thanks.  For not killing him.  I know that it must have been ------”  Ugh.  There aren’t any words for it.  She should have been there.  SHE HAD TO RUN BECAUSE SHE’S NO GOOD AT LEADING BUT IF SHE HADN’T MAYBE ANDERS WOULD STILL BE WHOLE.  “It’s my fault he got like --- like that.  I’m sorry you had to clean up the mess.”

[rpsentences]

SENTENCE STARTERS | DA:INQUISITION PARTY BANTER

❝ Oh look, a dragon…Perfect way to ruin our day. ❞ ❝ Seriously, just how many keys does one ancient temple need? ❞ ❝ Just once, I wish we would enter a cave and see normal sized spiders… ❞ ❝ Mountains…Cold…“Let’s bring [NAME]!” ❞ ❝ We’re going to get lost and starve to death, aren’t we? A glorious end for us! ❞ ❝ Plague: a cheerful addition to any decent swamp. ❞ ❝ Do you feel that? My magic-sensing nose is tingling! ❞ ❝ I’d expect more from a man/woman who can’t stop talking about how clever he/she is. ❞ ❝ Why be ashamed? Power should be respected, not swept under the carpet. ❞ ❝ Honestly, a man’s gotta take his fun where he can find it… ❞ ❝ That staff’s in pretty good shape. You spend a lot of time polishing it? ❞ ❝ I’ll never understand why you spend half your time running around bare chested… ❞ ❝ What’s the matter? Not enough slaves to rub your tootsies? ❞ ❝ Discretion isn’t really your thing, is it? ❞ ❝ Did you want those silky underthings back or did you leave those as a token? ❞ ❝ For someone so scared of magic, you’re not shy about benefitting from its effects. ❞ ❝ While we’re sharing surprises, you’ve done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than I expected. ❞ ❝ That outfit is sorry. What are you supposed to be, some kind of woodsman? ❞ ❝ You’re a special and unique snowflake. Live the dream. ❞ ❝ Would you not conserve energy with a less flashy style? ❞ ❝ Please speak up! I cannot hear you over your outfit! ❞ ❝ First we execute those who will not submit, then we deal with the rest. ❞ ❝ Ah, the wilds: lush, beautiful, and full of things that want to eat you. ❞ ❝ I finally found a place I hate more than caves. That’s a first. ❞ ❝ You don’t want to talk about yourself. I can respect that. So what do we talk about then? ❞ ❝ I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn’t drag me here by force. ❞ ❝ You’re either the worst person ever or the best…I can’t decide. ❞ ❝ Still waiting for me to do something sneaky and spy-like? ❞ ❝ I like the stories where the villain was the man/woman beside you the whole time. ❞ ❝ Be careful…These sorts of romances don’t end well… ❞ ❝ It’s quite comforting that whatever qualities I lack, you’ll invent for me… ❞ ❝ What could you possibly hope to accomplish with such madness?! ❞ ❝ Am I to understand that you’re writing a book about me…? ❞ ❝ My dear, if I didn’t want people to fear me, I wouldn’t dress like this. ❞ ❝ Aren’t you rather wealthy to be dirtying your hands like this? ❞ ❝ What an excellent place to be murdered and left in a dank hole… ❞ ❝ The most poisonous snakes are always the most beautiful. ❞ ❝ Is it my imagination, or have certain lingering looks been passed between you and [NAME]…? ❞ ❝ Just keep hitting things, my dear… Don’t worry your little head about the rest. ❞ ❝ So much is at stake. Why would I leave any of it to someone else? ❞ ❝ You’re right about one thing…You wouldn’t stand a chance against me. ❞ ❝ I look forward to the day when your veneer crumbles. ❞ ❝ If my skills can weaken your opponents to make your fight easier, please, let me know. ❞ ❝ Darling, it’s your bottom. Again. As bony and sad as the last dozen times you displayed it. ❞ ❝ Your failure is that you assume I desire approval. Power does not require that I be liked. ❞ ❝ I hope you can take care of yourself, should we encounter anything outside your experience. ❞ ❝ You so often come out on top. You play these political games brilliantly. ❞ ❝ Be careful. There may be a reason this ground has lain undisturbed for so long. ❞ ❝ It’s always remarkable that some will take advantage of chaos to further their own cause. ❞ ❝ Looks like someone was digging for things that should have been left undisturbed… ❞ ❝ This world is full of wonders for those who seek them. ❞ ❝ Look, it’s a natural thing to be curious about! ❞ ❝ For all your experience, you don’t carry yourself like a soldier. ❞ ❝ In battle, you look like you’re waiting for applause after every move. ❞ ❝ You have a certain swagger, like you know you’re the most dangerous thing in this room. ❞ ❝ You’d be amazed at what a man/woman armed with a rock and a headache can do. ❞ ❝ Do we ever have uneventful days? ❞ ❝ Know what it’s like to have leeches in your pants? No? Well, now you do. ❞ ❝ Bloody sand. Getting in places where sand shouldn’t ever be. ❞ ❝ Does it seem strange that every single person at this party has tried to bribe us? ❞ ❝ Not exactly the fight I was expecting when we got here. At least we got the job done. ❞ ❝ I fear for you sometimes, the way you throw yourself into battle. ❞

[nocensea]

[jcined-blog]

TAKE ANOTHER STEP, HUMAN, & i guarantee it will be your last.   my friends are dead & my life is in tatters because of you & your kin.    I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE — BUT YOU STILL HAVE YOUR OTHER EYE.        /        ind. & priv. warden tabris.  by rain.

[jcined-blog]

friendly reminder that becoming a warden and the blight and all that is literally the first time alia gets to Be A Kid

[jcined-blog]

valorcorrupt‌:

She’d like to pretend the question isn’t a relief. 

When Wynne had given her that speech – oh, Maker. Inara thought her blood would boil and steam her eyes right out of her head. Or, you know, that she’d crumple into a mess on the floor and spend the rest of the night bawling. But anger, anger felt better than sadness. 

     “She basically told me that I would break Alistair’s heart,” explodes off her tongue with as much bitter anger as she can spit without poisoning herself with the venom in her voice. “That we’d eventually have to choose duty or love and that I would end up hurting him.” Her face darkens like a rain cloud, scowl clouding her lips and eyes. 

     “What the fuck’s her problem, right?”

Alia admits to being more than a little surprised at the ferocity of her companion’s response; though she knows she shouldn’t be.  Inara is invested in Alistair and --- ah.  She only knows that Inara takes too much of her self from the world and not enough from within herself.  Takes too much of her self from Alistair...it’s not Alia’s place.

Her shocked expression gives way to one of concern and then amusement; not at Inara so much as at Wynne.  “Yeah, I got more or less the same shit.  Duty and responsibility and all that.”

It reminds her of the fights she and her father (  and she and valendrian, the few times alia had attempted to go over cyrion’s head  ) over marriage.  DUTY MUST COME FIRST, MY GIRL.  YOUR DUTY TO THE ALIENAGE AND TO YOUR PEOPLE.  Perhaps the familiarity is why Alia can’t take true offense; she misses her family too much to recoil at that which reminds her of them.

“It’s dumb as shit.  Her intentions aren’t bad, but it’s not like we’re not WELL AWARE of the stakes, y’know?”

[jcined-blog]

dragontongued‌:

          “A little, yes,” she responds with a small nod. And goodness knows that ‘little bit’ of experience came in handy when during and after the Battle of the White Spire. “Everyone in the Spire was taught a little of everything before choosing what field of magic to pursue. But, I’ve been told that, when it comes to using magic offensively, I’m spectacularly bad. I’m alright with defense, though.”

“Would you be interested in learning more?”  The world is not kind to elves or mages or women; Alia feels, at times, horribly struck with care for any who fit those descriptions.  Overwhelmed with the desire to help and heal.  “I’d be willing to spar with you, if nothing else.  The world is only gonna get more shit.”