we are like young volcanoes

you make {yourself} s t r o n g because it’s expected of you. you become confident because someone b e s i d e you is unsure. you turn into the p e r s o n others need you to BE.

[mancandykings]

Ross Butler photographed by Ssam Kim for The Glass Magazine (2018)

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

“Okay fine, not that big of a deal.” Talia smiled softly at her brother, knowing he really just wanted to move past the topic, and she didn’t blame him. It wasn’t something she was particularly eager to dwell on either, and she was willing to just accept that he didn’t think it was as heroic as she did. She was about to laugh at his next words, but then he started to spiral into one of his anxiety fueled nervous rants and she raised her eyebrows and nodded at him. “I– Yeah, murder is bad. I agree. But standing up for your sister is not.” She wasn’t talking about the murder part necessarily, although when it came to their father she wasn’t sure if she’d consider it a bad type of murder. She’d never outright say that to Jake, though. She knew that as much as she hated the man, Jake had a different relationship with him and she needed to try and respect that. “Well thank you.” She acknowledged his praise to her being strong, since she knew that they could just go in circles for hours if she didn’t. Same way they would if she tried to tell him he wasn’t a crybaby. Now that he’d brought up what Mia said, Talia wasn’t so sure if his mom left the way they always thought she did. But Jake was clearly in denial and she knew she couldn’t force him into changing his mind. “Maybe with Mia, if you did want to start somewhere. I could always go with you too, if you want. I know that you’ve moved on and stuff but if it was your mom that Mia saw, it sounds like she hasn’t moved on. Maybe she was like– I dunno, trying to talk to you somehow. I’d normally say I don’t believe in that crap, but one time Nate possessed me to have a conversation with Lydia from beyond the grave so it’s totally possible.”

Jake was not a dumb person and he understood that him and his sister had a lot of different opinions. He didn’t think he would murder someone even in self defense. Jake just didn’t want to be that kind of person- but he had to come to terms with the fact that he was actually a killer. He didn’t like to dwell on that though, especially because he knew that Talia saw things differently. “Well then we can talk about how I stood up for my sister. That is a part I’m proud of.” He added with a playful smile. Jake liked to pretend that he didn’t care what people thought of him but it actually mattered a lot. He had such a strong desire to be liked and he completely spiraled when he wasn’t. Jake just continuously tried to think of where he went wrong and what he could do to be better. “Did he really?” Jake asked, kind of fixated on the fact that Talia had been possessed by Nate. He wanted to laugh but figured it wasn’t appropriate. “That is one strong desire to talk to Lydia.” This time he couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Jake knew how close Lydia was to Nate so it kind of made sense. “I guess you’re right though. I don’t want to do this for me but if there’s something she wants me to know, or.. I don’t know.” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m starting to talk as though she’s really dead and that’s not what I want to do.”

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

“Yeah, it is, Jake. You don’t have to try and pretend like it’s not. It’s probably.. the biggest deal ever, actually.” Talia insisted with furrowed brows as she looked up at her brother, not wanting him to downplay that sort of thing. She really couldn’t repay him for doing that, and she wanted him to know how much she appreciated him doing that. She knew it must’ve taken a lot from Jake. “It was very heroic and badass of you, though. I will definitely admit that.” She smirked softly at him as she nudged him, giving in to his need to add some humor into the conversation. Talking about anything related to their dad was always a very touchy subject for both of them, and she was thankful for the comedic relief. She rolled her eyes at his next words and leaned back a bit on the couch. “And here I was thinking we were having a little moment, and then you went all psychology major on me.” She teased before shrugging at the idea. “I’m not sure if I would describe myself as strong, but thank you. And Natalie isn’t different. If anything your own mother is more important, in a way. She gave birth to you and I know you were really close to her..” She trailed off as she let him speak again, then nodded once more. “I don’t know if the wound is really healed. And finding out might finally be able to help do that for you. And you don’t have to do it alone, you know. I’m always here for whatever you decide.”

“Tal, I know you’re appreciative. Just let me shrug it off so I can feel better about myself.” Jake replied back playfully. He wasn’t the type of person who wanted attention. Jake actually felt kind of guilty whenever attention was on him so he needed that to stop immediately. “Can you admit that to people when they think I’m a loser? Maybe it’ll help me get a date.” He joked. “Actually don’t. That might not be the best way to get one either.” He clarified, though he thought maybe his words might’ve been offensive and he shook his head quickly. “Not that I regret what I did! I don’t.. you know, I’d do it a million times if I had to. Just.. murder is.. not..” Jake sighed, unable to get his words out. “Murder is bad.” He finally stammered out. Thankfully Talia spoke the language of Jake so he wasn’t too worried about her misunderstanding him. Jake just tried really hard not to offend anyone ever so sometimes he stumbled over his words trying to give explanations. “That was not psychology major Jake. That was big brother Jake.” He retorted back and rolled his eyes. “We were close, yeah. But then she left. And like I said whether you believe me or not the wound healed. I learned to move on and I’m just not sure it’s something I need to revisit. I wouldn’t even know where to start if I wanted to.”

[jckeblack]

beaconswerecoyote​:

“I figured you might not have been, it’s okay.” She shrugged it off. Guess she could just keep the flowers. But she felt more inclined to just toss them. Malia really didn’t want anything to them especially if she a secret admirer or something. “I don’t think so..I don’t think I’ve really talk to anyone like that. Don’t really do much talking if I am with someone.” She said bluntly not caring to be ashamed of her words. She just didn’t see herself in a relationship anytime soon. Malia was open to it but she wasn’t wishing for it, she just liked to have her fun with one-night stands. “If it is a secret admirer, I have no idea who the hell it can be. Kinda weird if this is how they want to get my attention. I like them to be more direct. Didn’t even leave a note!” She knew it was probably nothing but it felt a little creepy to her. There was a gut feeling in her stomach telling her it was something cute. But there was nothing to worry about at the moment so she pushed it away. Malia struggled to hide her laughter as Jake stumbled his own words. “Wow, Jake, I thought we had something.” She teased with a grin on her face to fluster him some more. “At least you saved yourself by saying I’m pretty.” The interaction made her feel a little better. “Nah, I don’t think you’re a creep, don’t worry, too pretty for that..” She replied using his own words against him. Malia was going to leave him to continue doing whatever he was, but felt a little uneasy going back home alone. “Um, were you going to do something? If not, you want to hang out? Or if you are, can I join you?”

“How do you not talk when you’re- oh!” Jake raised his eyebrows and found himself blushing when Malia had been so blunt about what she did with other people. Of course it went over his head at first. Not that he judged her for any of that- she had a right to do whatever she wanted. But Jake was just an awkward person in general and very uncomfortable with conversations like that. He scratched the back of his neck and tried to think of something else to say. Thankfully Malia continued to talk so he didn’t have to keep putting his foot in his mouth. “They could be shy!” He was a romantic, so he wanted to believe in the idea that Malia had a secret admirer. A totally non creepy and harmless one, of course. Jake didn’t wish for Malia to get into any sort of trouble. And he was getting flustered again. Jake rolled his eyes- mostly at himself- and tried to regain his ability to speak properly. That was difficult for him on occasion. “Ah, thank you.” He laughed, beyond grateful for the fact that Malia was an easy person to talk to. Jake wanted everyone to like him but sometimes his personality just didn’t work for certain people. Malia seemed to help make situations less awkward which was good. “Oh, yeah! I mean no, I wasn’t going to do anything. But yes we can definitely hang out.” He nodded his head with a bright smile. Jake didn’t like to be alone so he was perfectly content with spending some time with Malia. “I just finished my run and was going to head home. So whatever you want to do I’m free for the day.”

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

Talia sighed when Jake tried to push it off like all of it was no big deal. But she didn’t want to push him into getting even more upset, especially considering what was at the core of what they were talking about. It was an upsetting topic already, and not one she wanted to come across as brash as she normally did when she did talk to him. “And same goes for you, like I said. I– I know we haven’t really talked about the whole dad thing, but.. I will never be able to repay you for doing that. Never. I know it probably took a lot and I just wanna say thank you. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that out loud.” She found herself starting to feel like her eyes were gonna water, so she quickly blinked the feeling away as she smiled faintly at him. Jake truly saved her life by doing that, since she wasn’t sure she would’ve ever gotten the courage to fight him back. She wasn’t scared of a lot of things, but their father was on the top of her very short fear list. Honestly their dad would’ve ended up killing Talia if he got another chance to try. “Okay maybe you are kind of a baby, but not in a bad way at all. It just.. makes it possible for you to care about others more. Which will really help when you get an actual career.” She wanted him to know that there was a positive side to being sensitive like he was. She never saw it as a bad thing, even if their dad did. “If I’m being honest, I wish I could process emotions like you do.” Their father tended to use that against Jake a lot, that his little sister was able to compose herself more than him, but truth was she just had a bad habit of not wanting to let herself express those kind of emotions. And usually it got so pent up that she exploded, hence why she had some pretty intense anger issues. She frowned at his question, knowing that even if it seemed kind of counter productive, she understood why he didn’t want to know. It all went back to him feeling like he was too sensitive to get upset over things that he should get upset over, like this. “If Natalie had gone missing instead of being killed in front of Lydia, and we had no idea what happened to her, I would’ve wanted closure. It– really sucked losing her, but at least we knew. And avoiding it doesn’t change the outcome.” She said honestly, knowing that he deserved an honest answer, regardless of if it was what he wanted to hear.

“It’s no big deal.” Jake shrugged off her gratitude. Of course it was actually a huge deal. He murdered the man he idolized growing up, his own father. Jake let of of any chance he ever had to become a true alpha and that was to save his sister. He didn’t regret a single second of it though. Jake would make that choice time and time again. “Except for the fact that I was like, totally heroic and a bad ass.” He added with a light smile, just wanting to make the situation less intense. Jake wanted to be a psychologist so he could handle listening to people talk about their stressful life problems but when it came to his own, Jake liked to pass that off as more of a joke. He didn’t want Talia to be upset either so it was better to just make a joke about that. Regardless though he made sure to flash another smile at his sister to let her know he understood and appreciated her gratitude. “You shouldn’t wish to be anything but yourself, Tal. I know that’s cheesy but it’s true.” He replied back. Jake wouldn’t want Talia to wish she was anything like him, honestly. “You’re strong and that’s a good thing.” Jake encouraged. “Natalie is different.” Jake frowned slightly at the mention of Ms. Martin. He hadn’t been as attached to the woman as Talia was- she had lived at the Martin household for longer- but Jake did care for her. It hurt when she died, but mostly because two people he loved were hurting. “Natalie had been in Lydia’s life forever, and yours for a really long time too. Of course you’d want to know what happened.” He tried to explain his thoughts. “I just mean.. that chapter of my life is closed. The wound is healed. What is the point of reopening it?”

[riverdalesource]

Ross Butler photographed by Ruben Chamorro for Cosmopolitan, 2017

[jckeblack]

talblack·:

“I know,” Talia sighed as she looked down at the couch and tried to think of what to even say, but she really didn’t know. She felt bad and really didn’t mean to upset Jake, but she couldn’t help but be annoyed whenever he tried to defend their dad. And it was hard for her to remind herself that they were both treated very differently, and Jake’s abuse was a lot more psychological and manipulative. It’s like he didn’t realize how ridiculous he sounded when he said that their dad wouldn’t do something like that to his mom. “And you care more about trying not to disappoint Dad than I do. And I can’t even get mad at that because I act the same way with my mom. I know she doesn’t care about me the way she should, but that doesn’t stop me from dropping everything to continue trying.” And Talia knew that if their dad was still alive, Jake would likely do the same thing. And it wasn’t anything personal against Talia, it was just how things were. As hard as that was to remember sometimes. She smiled faintly when he joked with her, knowing that he was absolutely right. “Yeah, but you’d do the same if you could tell something was wrong with me. It’s just because I care about you.” The two of them were way too close to be upset around each other, which was annoying sometimes, but also reassuring. She frowned as she listened to what their dad told him about why his mom left, and immediately Talia knew the story didn’t add up. From what she remembered, Jake’s mom was super sweet and always seemed to wanna be involved in his life, even if Talia and her mom was in the picture. She even cared for Talia like her own. And Talia just couldn’t see their dad defending Jake like that. Half of the time he was the one who called Jake weak. “You’re not a baby,” She said softly, wanting to make sure he heard that be said even if he didn’t believe it. “Honestly you’re one of the strongest people that I know. You.. You shouldn’t be ashamed of being sensitive. It’s not a bad thing. It’s better than being some heartless monster.”

“Hey, it’s fine. We don’t need to discuss it.” Jake decided to shrug the situation off. He didn’t really like talking about himself too often. Jake would rather listen to others and help them instead. Talking about his own problems made him slightly uncomfortable. “Tal you are the person I’d do anything for. Above all else.” He had hoped he’d shown that by now. She was right about caring about their dads approval but at the end of the day Jake murdered their father. And he did that to protect Talia. She was the most important person in his life and she always had been- not their dad. Jake respected him and he tried to please him but he dropped all of that when he hurt Talia. It was the final straw for Talia. He knew that she was right about her mom though. Talia did leave beacon Hills for her, but Jake tried not to get too upset about that. “No, I am definitely a baby.” Jake shrugged. “It’s okay though. I’ve learned to accept that about myself a long time ago. Like you said, it’s better than being heartless. Maybe I was upset when I was younger but now I’m happy with being sensitive.” Jake sighed. “But, Tal..what if we look into this and find answers that just hurt too much? It’s not something I’m ready for. Isn’t not knowing better? Even just for my own peace of mind?”

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

“I can’t help it,” Talia admitted quietly with a soft sigh as she looked up at her brother. She could tell she hurt his feelings and she genuinely didn’t mean to. Bringing up their father was just a touchy subject, in different ways for the two of them. Genuinely she didn’t hate anyone more in her entire life, and she knew Jake didn’t feel that way. And as frustrating as it was, she understood the reasoning as to why. Years of emotional abuse would do that to you. She stayed quiet when he brought out the stern tone, not sure how to even approach this situation at all. It was very evident to her that something must have happened, maybe even a long time ago if Mia said she saw it was someone with red eyes did something. “I know it’s probably really overwhelming and scary to think about that even being a possibility, but this is just gonna bother you until you find out. I know you and I know that if you weren’t worried about it you wouldn’t have even brought it up to me.” She made sure to use a soft tone with him, really not wanting to upset him anymore. It was pretty clear that even just thinking about his mom dying was stressing him out. She frowned when he mentioned the movies, vaguely remembering that as she sat there and tried to remember that day. She was pretty young, though, but she could now remember walking through the lobby with Jake and his mom one day, a bucket of popcorn in hand. “I remember that, yeah. I think it was one of the live action Scooby Doo movies.” She remembered vividly being pretty freaked out by the live action Scooby. But when she tried to think past that, it was just blank. Her eyebrows furrowed the longer she tried to think about it. “Why did Dad say she left again?”

“I can’t help my reaction either but it seems harder for you to understand.” He was frustrated because he felt like he did his best to understand Talia his entire life. Jake really tried to sympathize with why she did certain things, and for Talia she just didn’t seem as interested in understanding Jake. Or at least she was too stubborn to see other sides. Jake knew that he had made this sort of thing his career but he did wish someone took the time to try and understand him once in awhile too. He was also just overly sensitive sometimes too, so Jake tried to remind himself this was probably one of those moments. Just because Talia was harsh occasionally on the outside, it also didn’t mean she wasn’t trying to understand deep down. They were just very different people and they worked together for the most part but every once in awhile the personalities clashed. “As if I would’ve had a choice whether or not I brought it up to you.” Jake rolled his eyes, though this time he was just being a bit more playful. Talia wouldn’t have taken no for an answer since she could sense something was bothering him. “He never really said.” Jake shrugged. “He just told me she left and wasn’t coming back, and not to question anything so I didn’t.” Jake blocked a lot of that out from his memory but he was remembering certain things now that it was brought up. “Except a few weeks later he caught me looking at a picture of the two of us and crying. I remember he admitted that she left because I was too much of a baby. Too weak, and she was embarrassed about having a son who was so sensitive. Dad said he tried to stop her and defend me but she didn’t want anything to do with me.” Jake didn’t want to cry now while talking about the story, but he was definitely upset. He’d never told Talia that before. Maybe he shouldn’t have believed their father so easily but Jake was young and vulnerable. He would’ve believed anything to make the hurting go away. Ever since then he had tried so hard to make everyone like him, to always be enough for others. “That’s the story I heard and it’s the one I’m going to believe.”

[jckeblack]

beaconswerecoyote​:

“Yeah, everything’s fine, I’m okay.” Malia didn’t mean to worry him with her question. She always found it kind of sad how in their town it was always a first assumption that something had gone wrong. She always did with her friends as well. Everyone just seem to associate Beacon with bad luck–a very valid way to see it. “I just wanted to ask if you had seen anyone passed by in the last ten minutes by my place, it’s right over there.” She said pointing out the complex in front of them. She was unfortunately stuck with the apartment right on the front. Sometimes it felt like she lacked privacy. “Like a delivery man? Specifically maybe from a florist? I got some flowers on my door step. I didn’t order any. I’m not talking to anyone either.” She wasn’t a flower girl either; she thought it was pointless since they died anyways. “Maybe they got the wrong place and that would suck for whoever they were actually meant for. There’s no card or anything though..” Maybe she was on edge for no reason at all. It just was odd.

Jake was relieved to know that Malia was okay. He tended to crack under pressure, so he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done if she needed help that involved anything other than just talking. Talking he was good at- except when he fumbled over his words. And let his mind wander, which he was definitely starting to do in that moment. “Don’t think I saw anyone walking by.” Jake replied back as he listened to Malia’s explanation. “But honestly I wasn’t completely paying attention so they might’ve.” He had been told he needed to be more aware of his surroundings but that hadn’t changed yet. Jake knew it was a dangerous trait to have in a town like Beacon Hills. “Flowers?” His smile widened when Malia said what had happened. “Maybe you have a secret admirer! That’s so sweet.” He definitely always looked on the bright side instead of going to the worst case scenario. But Malia also seemed spooked and he wanted to ease her mind. Unless she thought he was the one who gave her the flowers and now she was thinking he was a total weirdo. “Wait, they weren’t from me! Just to clarify.” He began. “I wouldn’t do that. I mean- not because you don’t deserve them! I’m sure you do. You’re very.. pretty. Very deserving of flowers.” God, he just didn’t know when to shut his mouth sometimes. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I just started thinking about how it looks weird that I’m the only person here and I was nervous you thought I was some sort of creep.”

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

Talia knew that Jake was also pretty messed up from all of the abuse they’d endured from their dad over the years, which was why she was honestly getting kind of upset at the fact that he seemed to be defending him this hard. It made sense given how much Jake idolized him when they were younger, but she knew he was smarter than that. But she also knew this was probably a way for him to cope with the harsh reality, which made her sad to even just think about. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so harsh but.. I know you know what Dad was capable of. That’s what I’m trying to say..” She tried to speak in a more soft tone, since she could tell he was getting upset and she really didn’t wanna turn this into a fight. She was going to speak again, but then he said it was a mistake to tell her and she couldn’t hide the flash of hurt that spread across her face as she shook her head slightly. “I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to upset you. I just.. You don’t think there’s even a slight possibility that something could have happened? That’s not something you’re interested in even finding out for sure?” She paused for a moment as she tried to think of something, but she was getting that same weird feeling that she got in her head before. “When was the last time you saw her?” She asked quietly with furrowed eyebrows as she looked back up at Jake again. “I can’t.. I can’t remember.”

“Yeah, well you did sound harsh.” He retorted back. Jake really hated being mean- especially to his sister of all people- but this was a lot for him to handle. It was bringing back memories that he had suppressed for a very long time. Of course he knew what their father was capable of but it was just hard for Jake to see their dad in that light. He understood it was easier for Talia to see him as a monster because she took so much of the physical abuse. Mental abuse was a lot harder to detect. Not to mention despite all of that, he shared some memories with their father as well. “No, Talia. I’m not interested in finding out what happened because there is nothing to find out.” He said sternly. “It would be a waste of time and energy.” There was so much going on all of the time and he didn’t need distractions. This didn’t seem to be worth looking into at all. Jake just really wanted to believe it wasn’t true also. So maybe part of him was scared of what he’d uncover. Her question took Jake by surprise but mostly because he also couldn’t remember when the last time he saw his mom was. “Um-“ Jake began, furrowing his eyebrows together. “I think it was the night before she left. We went to the movies? Maybe it was the day of but..” He shook his head. “I can’t remember either. It was so long ago.”

[jckeblack]

beaconswerecoyote​:

@jckeblack​

Malia had gotten home ten minutes ago from her morning shift at the gym. She was incredibly tired, but she couldn’t hop straight into her bed as she would like. She had a couple of household chores to finish before she could allow herself to relax. If Malia put it off again as she did last night, she would let more tasks pile up. She took her blankets from her living room back into the bedroom, washed couple of dishes that had been left in the sink, and turned on a candle to get the nice apple scent in the air. She only had the trash left to do so closed the bag tightly and walked outside to toss it out in the garbage can. Malia stopped right outside her door when she spotted a vase full of flowers. She eyed it for a moment but decided to toss the trash before inspecting it completely. When the trash was thrown away, Malia picked up the clear vase full of white lily flowers. “What the hell..” She mumbled, not understanding why she these were at her door. They weren’t here fifteen minutes ago. She didn’t even hear anyone knock at the door. Malia looked around to see if anyone looked like a delivery person. Maybe they could tell her why she had them. No one was in sight until she spotted Jake Black across the street. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if he had seen anything. Malia put the vase back down and went across the street. “Hey Jake!” She called out to him as she was walking over. “Have you been here the last ten minutes or so?”

Jake was trying to make sense of everything that Mia told him a couple of days ago. There was a lot to process and the best way for him to think straight was to go for a run. He started in the preserve but then ended up running around Beacon Hills as well. He was running a lot longer than usual, but that was because he just had more on his mind. Jake barely even realized that he had been jogging for over an hour until he realized his sister was asking where he was. Jake pulled his phone out and told Talia he’d be home in a bit, before sitting on a bench to catch his breath. After a few moments he heard a familiar voice and looked up. “Hey, Malia.” Jake said with a smile, always happy when someone wanted to talk to him. The smile faded a bit though when he realized she clearly was talking to him for a reason and not just because she wanted to chat. “Um, yeah. Just about ten minutes.” He got up from the bench and furrowed his eyebrows together. “Why what’s up? Is everything alright?” He asked curiously. Jake didn’t know Malia too well- mostly through whatever Lydia said about her- but he liked her enough. She had been fun to talk to when they did interact.

[jckeblack]

talblack·:

Talia furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Jake look over his shoulder and told her not to question it. It honestly kind of made her a little mad, even if she knew he didn’t intend to do that. She’d just heard that from Jake so many times throughout their childhood and she knew that it was the reason why she’d taken the brunt of most of what their father had done half of the time. She was the type to question things, especially their father of all people. Jake definitely wasn’t, and clearly he still felt obligated to listen to their dad, even if he was dead. “Or what? Dad’s gonna come out from around the corner and knock the shit out of me? He’s gone, Jake. And I know you think that something is wrong, or you wouldn’t have mentioned it to me.” She grimaced as she watched him get frustrated, something not really like him as she waited a couple seconds for him to cool down as she listened intently. “Uh, okay?” She mumbled, not sure where he was going with any of that until he told her what Mia saw. And it was clear by the look on Talia’s face that their father was the first thing her mind was going to. It was kind of impossible not to, and it made the most sense. “It’s not possible, Jacob? Is that why Xavier found me almost beaten to death in our old house a few years ago? Because Dad wasn’t capable of killing family?” Maybe she was being a little harsh by bringing that up, but she couldn’t help it. It felt like the only thing that might help Jake process what was actually happening. He fully had the intent of ending his own daughter’s life, so Talia had no doubt that killing Jake’s mom was something their father would’ve done. But she couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something the more she tried to think about it. It was like she’d get close, but her brain wouldn’t let her.

Talia’s abuse from their father was definitely more visible than Jake’s but his was there in small ways. Ways that people wouldn’t notice if they weren’t paying attention. But he always kept in mind that Talia had it way worse than he did so he tried not to talk about it as much. He still couldn’t help but feel annoyed when she started pushing him. “Shut up, Tal.” He mumbled. Jake wasn’t the type to be annoyed or say mean things but this was a touchy subject and Talia didn’t seem as sensitive about it. Jake was clearly terrified of their father even if he was dead. “Like I don’t remember that.” He scoffed, knowing what happened afterwards. Their dad was never going to leave Talia alone and Jake killed him because of that. To protect his sister, he gave up his chances of ever being a true alpha- something he dreamed of. He never talked about any of his feelings behind what happened, though. So Talia was pushing his buttons a lot. “Honestly it was a mistake to tell you this.” He added as he shook his head. He really didn’t want to be mean- it was so unlike him. This was just a lot to process and Talia seemed to be forgetting that his mother was the subject of their conversation. Maybe she could’ve been more sensitive. Or maybe Jake was just too sensitive. “I’m just going to ignore this, so you can pretend it never happened and never bring it up to me again.”

[jckeblack]

talblack·:

“I’m not trying to say that she’s old. I’m just saying that it’s been a long time since either of us have seen or heard from her.” Not that Talia had really been waiting on any communication. Yes she was close to Jake’s mom but not as close as he was. She’d been disappointed all those years that his mom just decided to leave like that, but now she was starting to question what really happened. “It never made sense that she just up and left, you know.. And I know you also feel that way. She.. I still don’t think she would’ve done something like that to you. Not willingly.” It was always weird that she suddenly disappeared, and if what Mia saw was right then maybe that wasn’t the case at all. She furrowed her eyebrows at her brother as he continued to speak, feeling like there was something he wasn’t mentioning. Even if he wasn’t lying technically, she could just tell. He seemed really bothered. “I know that this isn’t what you want me to say, but you don’t think it’s weird that Mia happened to see that woman while you were there with her?” Talia sighed as she debated whether or not she wanted to continue, but now she felt like something was wrong and she couldn’t just let it go. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. She didn’t say anything else? And don’t lie because I’ll listen to your heartbeat.”

“Talia, stop.” Jake shook his head quickly. “We’re not supposed to question that.” He couldn’t help but look over his shoulder as though his father was watching. Jake may have not been as abused as Talia was by their father- not physically at least. But the man left lasting mental scars on Jake. He was just able to hide them better or pass them as normalcy. Jake not being a curious person, always willing to do whatever someone told him to, the overwhelming desire to be liked by everyone.. those were all forced into him by his dad. “No I think the entire situation is weird!” He let out a sigh. It was rare for Jake to get frustrated or let his emotions take control but he couldn’t help himself. This was a lot for Jake to comprehend. “Okay, yeah. She said something else.” Jake rolled his eyes. “But you have to promise not to.. overanalyze the situation or whatever. Because I know you’re going to think one thing that is totally not true.” He was already sounding kind of crazy. “She just said that my mom- um, the woman she saw. She was killed by someone with red eyes.” Jake glared in Talia’s direction before she could even say anything. “Don’t go where I think you will, okay? It’s not possible.”

[jckeblack]

talblack·:

Talia nodded slowly at his words, even if she was definitely still skeptical. The two of them were way too close for him to get away with just blatantly lying like this. “You do ramble, sure, but this is different, Jake. You and I both know that and you know I can hear your heartbeat so there’s no point in lying to me.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes when he said he wanted to set an example for her. Yup, he was definitely nervous. “I’ve met her once, yeah.” She nodded, but as Jake continued Talia found herself falling silent as she stared sadly at him. She’d interacted with Nate enough times to know that if he saw someone standing there that no one else saw, it meant one thing. And this was no different, since Mia was also a necromancer. It made Talia pretty sad to hear, since she really did like Jake’s mom. Mary as their father’s emissary and basically helped raised the two of them until one day she just decided to up and leave. Talia always did find it pretty strange, and she knew Jake was torn up about it for a long time. “I mean.. yeah, she was alive when she left, you’re not wrong. But– Jake, that was a long time ago. I was like what.. six? And you were ten? That was almost two decades ago.” She knew that he probably had thought about that several times, but it was clear he was in pretty hard denial. Which was understandable.

Jake shook his head as he listened to Talia speak. He had been hoping that his sister would agree that this was absolutely crazy. “She wasn’t that old, Tal.” He shrugged. Jake’s mom actually had him when she was younger so there was no way she would’ve died from old age or anything; despite the fact that Mia literally said someone with red eyes killed her. Jake just wasn’t processing any of that and he was scared that if he told Talia that part, she was going to say what Jake was avoiding. He wasn’t a stupid person. Yes he knew that his father was not a good dude and that he also had red eyes. He knew his dad was capable of murder and the story about her just randomly leaving one day didn’t make much sense. But he wasn’t willing to even entertain the idea of his father murdering his mom. That was.. no, impossible. “Whatever, honestly. I just thought it was really weird. I wish I knew where she was so I could reach out.” Once again he wasn’t really accepting the fact that Mia had said she was dead. “But that’s it. It’s not a big deal. Like I said, I was just thinking about what happened because it was strange. I feel bad for whoever Mia saw but it wasn’t my mom.” There was of course more to the story but he didn’t want to tell Talia. 

[kevinkeller]

20 Questions With Ross Butler

[jckeblack]

hi guys!! due to the stuff that’s come out about bob Morley recently I’ve decided it’s best to change my fc. I’m now going to use ross butler but nothing is changing in terms of his background! the only thing that’ll be different is the fc, but I didn’t want anyone to get confused when I start using his gif icons now.

as always let me know if you want to plot with him (or any of my other characters!) <3

[jckeblack]

talblack​:

A small frown pulled at Talia’s lips as she sat next to her brother and tried to observe him. He hadn’t even seemed to hear her walk in, and he definitely looked stressed. Even if she couldn’t smell his chemosignals, she’d be able to tell. They were incredibly close and she always knew when something was wrong. She gave him a skeptical deadpan when he immediately tried to deny it. “You hear yourself, right? You’re rambling like crazy. Work was fine, but what’s wrong with you? Did something happen? Come on, you’re back in town now which means I’m here. And we kinda live together so it’s literally impossible for you to avoid me.”

“Do you know me at all? I always ramble.” Jake laughed and shook his head. Even though Talia was right and there was definitely something on his mind, that didn’t change the fact that he was a rambler. He could easily write an essay on a topic as simple as the color of the sky. Unfortunately in this scenario though, his sister saw right through him. This wasn’t the normal Jake ramble- it was his nervous one. “Fine, fine. But only because I don’t like to lie and I want to set an example for you.” He teased. “So I don’t know if you’ve ever met Nate’s sister, Mia. But I saw her in the library today and she started telling me that my mom was standing behind me.” Even saying the words out loud sounded crazy. Jake liked to be on the sidelines when it came to insane situations in Beacon Hills. He did not want to be directly involved. “Insane, right? Mia sees ghosts and as you know, my mom is not dead.” He shrugged. “She left but she was very much alive when she left.” Jake knew Talia would remember. She had been there when they were children and he would secretly cry for a whole week after it happened. He was really devastated even if he didn’t let his father see that.