I am not going to lie. It should have been out months earlier, but just looking at this has a tendency to lower my depression fog. This is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to write, but staying silent is not an option. I never pictured myself as the one to deal with a serial harasser in the reviewer community, but I am going to make sure it is dealt with.
Jerred Daniel Adams, aka DelongeWannabe as he is known on the forums and Twitter, has sexually harassed myself, as well as at least four other female producers in this community. My fellow producers will remain anonymous as per request, but their stories will be heard.
Around January or February of 2012, Jerred contacted me over Skype one afternoon as I was working in my university art department. We were often in the same large group calls, and I did consider him a friend, if not one I knew well. This was the first time Jerred had communicated to me directly. I found it slightly odd to get a solo social call, but I hadn’t been in the online reviewing community very long. This might be normal. I was trying to focus on my artwork at hand, but was not opposed to some occasional text conversation. Jerred suggested a game of what he called ‘Internet truth or dare’, where answers to the challenge would be typed in the Skype chat or sent a picture. I once again, thought it an odd suggestion, but dismissed, again thinking it could be normal. We traded challenges for a bit. I would draw answers to dares & he would send silly pictures. It seemed perfectly harmless.
I picked truth for my turn. Jerred asked me to describe my underwear… For the next dare he asked for a picture of me in them…
Now, I was floored to say the least. And let me tell you, the human brain will go to some acrobatic lengths to protect itself because I was mentally churning up justifications to not comprehend what I just saw. It came completely from left field and all of our previous conversation had been small talk, congenial. I drew a picture of some cartoon undies, made an excuse to end the conversation, and signed off.
The worst part of my experience is that afterward, I completely suppressed the entire conversation. I locked that memory in a box and threw it far back in the recesses of my mind. Maybe it was out of shock. Maybe it was out of fear of making waves. Maybe I had too many other stressors at the time. Whatever the initial reason, I feel most responsible for not calling attentions sooner. Maybe things would not have gotten as messy as they are now.
Fast forward to October 2015. I am now part of a site called Geekvision alongside many other content producers, including Jerred. Recently, had the immense pleasure of hanging out with several of my fellow female producers in person, and 99% of their visits have been fun and awesome. However, our conversations turned from observations about fellow producers to comparisons of our interactions with Jerred. I listened as a dear friend recounted a story very similar, almost to the letter, as mine. Popping up on Skype, truth or dare, the unbidden left turn to Perv-Ville, all of it. The box that sat neglected in the back of my mind burst open, the memory replaying itself as clear as it happened yesterday.
I would like to take a minute to note that both my first informant & myself were in relationships when our Jerred incidents took place. It’s not to say what he did was more wrong given we were ‘claimed’ by other men, but that the conversation could not be mistaken for awkward flirting or tone deaf banter. There was a clear boundary we set forth, and Jerred knowingly crossed it.
My first informant and I were dismayed to learn we shared a boogeyman, but choose not to confront. Jerred has had bad episodes before; maybe this was an unfortunate symptom. We passed the story onto the leader of Geekvision, and a warning was issued. A short time later, I spoke with some other female producer friends. They all had Jerred stories.
Once is miscommunication. Twice is a bad mental health day. FIVE TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF TWO YEARS IS A FREAKING PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR.
Not only was the frequency and similarity of all the stories worrisome, but at least one of my informants had an addendum to her story in August of 2015 where he tried to make the same request again. The fact that there had been such a gap between our incidents and the present had been the only thing staying our hand. Then I got reports of two more informants, some with continuing circumstances that haven’t, as far as I’ve been told, been resolved.
My goal is not to unleash a hate brigade, or dredge up ancient history. I just want everyone to be informed as to who Jerred is, and how that has effected at least seven women in this community. This is the reason he is no longer a part of Geekvision, and why those of us on the site have little contact with him to this day. My purpose is for all the women affected by this harassment, known and unknown. We need closure, support and the freedom to speak up so that this community can truly rise to its potential and be the diverse, supportive place for amazing art that it should be.
So, what then should we do? First off, believe and support those of us who have been victimized. Signal boost this to everyone in our community. If someone tells you something in confidence, believe them. Don’t send hate or retaliation Jerred’s way. This isn’t about him; it’s about those of us who need to break the silence and vanquish the fear. If anyone wants to tell their story, anonymously or otherwise, send me an ask on Tumblr & I’ll add it to this post. We have every right to be here, make our work, and enjoy this community as our brothers. There’s no reason we should be afraid of a Skype conversation. And hopefully now that the air is clear again, we won’t be.
pixelskylines
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