j.d.

missing body, leaking heart

[jdoemarie]

photobooth>>>

[jdoemarie]

water weighting my alcoholism away

July came and went without saying goodbye

who’s to hold a heavy girl with heavy thoughts?

it’s really not a lot

but i know for you to carry me will take a great deal of sovereignty

will you be my shining knight in the pouring rain when i call out your name?

or will you capture me into an eternal rest without my consent?

i know that to have is to hold

but can you hold me and make me your dream?

i try to be polite without harboring white lies but you’ve got the best of me

i cannot lie

i write beautiful excuses in my journal why we would never fall in love

but it was you not wanting me

i know this time it can be different

i have faith

i won’t believe in the tales that the princess should suffer but that love can conquer

my demons are my shadows

i’m the blackest girl with the blackest heart

please don’t shiver when you fall

i will lift you up in my love and make you anew

believe me when i say I’m blessed

and i can bless you too

my idolatry for love has gifted me to place unwavering grace upon thee

let’s fall in love

it’s fairly easy

i hold you while you hold me

and i’ll walk with you through a tunnel of darkness with no end in mind

if you will allow me to be by your side

[jdoemarie]

why is my chicken fierce?

[jdoemarie]

i love public transportation!!!

just finished watching a movie :p

[jdoemarie]

i wonder what the rest of the year has to offer me

[jdoemarie]

markiplier is so hot in the ultimate custom night gameplay

[jdoemarie]

a princess for the day

[jdoemarie]

it’s a bit shady around these parts

[jdoemarie]

a handwritten poem i wrote at work a couple of months ago

[jdoemarie]

the face you make when you hate a man everyone tolerates

[jdoemarie]

i feel like i barely use tumblr these days :(

[jdoemarie]

i want a boyfriend, i just want to know what they taste like

[jdoemarie]

me in the streets

[jdoemarie]

life starting to feel like this

[jdoemarie]

and i just took it

i have fallen victim again to the touch of a man

i wanted to be embraced in a way that only a father can soothe

he left a gaping hole there

one i fill up with grotesque hands

grope me, pull me in, and spank me

you are a stranger to me but your hands known my body for eternity

it’s yours to keep

it was always yours to have

and there is nothing left for me

i want to cry because that’s not who i am

but i bent over and just take it

again and again

running into this mistake like a friend

I don’t like it but i continue to move my body up and down to the speed of sound

nullified fruition

fulfillment earned but gained easily for you

you just take while i’m being took

common themes repeat themselves every so slightly

that i have changed into a being in a world that is not like me

is this who i have become?

nothing?

i am a cup in your hands

chipped and cracked

it’s time to throw me in the trash

my pristine details fading when your lips touch my neck

cuddle and hold me, i just want to be your number one for tonight

my white nightgown maintains my remaining innocence

something i can only see from a distance

my tears write out a prayer

i suck at revenge

too tired to lift the knife, it falls in my eye and leaves me blind

i still feel the sunshine, burning the holes in my face

kill me, sweetie

i can take the pain

it’s all i have been doing anyways

[jdoemarie]

some older selfies <3

[jdoemarie]

this is how you're supposed to spend coachella weekend, with a beer in your hand and a song in your heart