Summary: You decide to try your new camcorder with Baelor. He hesitates at first, but once he sees what it can do, his curiosity quickly turns into excitement (even more than yours).
Warning: mdni, 18+, NSFW, riding, p in v, foul language.
“I don’t know about that,” he admitted, his voice strained. “It feels… exposed.”
It was Friday night. You and Baelor had opted to stay in, entwined in each other's arms on the bed. You had already brought each other to climax twice, and now you were proposing something a bit more adventurous.
A week ago, you had bought a new camcorder. It was still sitting in its box, untouched. Feeling bolder than usual, you had suggested filming the two of you together - just once - purely out of curiosity. You promised him you'd delete the footage afterwards.
Now, seating naked on bed, you pushed the camcorder towards him, silently encouraging him to entertain your little experiment. “Just trust me,” you said as you flipped the device open.
His eyes never left you. Uncertainty was written all over his face, plain and impossible to miss. “Please? For me?” you coaxed softly, leaning in close to brush the words against his ear.
He hesitated for a moment, before finally reaching out and taking the camcorder with careful fingers.
You didn't give him a chance to reconsider before you climbed into his lap. Your knees sank into the mattress on either side of his hips as you settled over him, acutely aware of the heat radiating from his body - a palpable force that made your skin prickle.
“Just hold it and record from below,” you instructed, trembling slightly.
Baelor’s grip tightened around the camcorder. He shifted against the headboard, angling the lens upward. “Like this?” he asked, voice edged with hesitation as he looked at the small screen.
“Yes, baby,” you breathed. You were already dripping, the folds of your lips slick and swollen. You weren't sure how much longer this new 'adventure' would last before it left you completely undone. But you steady yourself on top of him, wet heat of your center hovering just inches above his cock.
"I want you to watch every second," you stated before gradually sinking lower. The sensation of him stretching you open made you arch your back, a long, shaky moan escaping your throat.
"Oh god-" Baelor groaned. The small screen showed a striking image: you kept pushing until you felt his base, and a wet squelching noise resonated in the silent room as you completely seated yourself on him. You released a sharp, high-pitched moan, tilting your head back and exposing the graceful curve of your throat to the ceiling.
His eyes widened as he adjusted the camera. He held the device low, angling the lens to capture the point of impact. "Look at that," he said, voice rasped with need.
Any trace of hesitation was gone, only consumed by a raw, primal hunger. The uncertainty that had lingered moments ago had disappeared entirely as his eyes roamed over you. “Aren’t you a sight, my sweet girl?”
You started to move, lifting your hips and slamming back down. The awareness that he was watching through a tiny digital eye, capturing the raw, unfiltered reality of your pleasure, sent a jolt of adrenaline through you. So, you began to quicken your pace.
Baelor let out a choked sound, his knuckles turning white around the camera. "You make me feel good, baby" he hissed. He kept the lens focused, capturing the way your thighs trembled and how your pussy lips gripped him tightly.
"And you looking delicious riding me like this. I can see it... I can see you swallowing me whole." The vulgarity of his words only acted like fuel. You moved to pull him into a messy kiss, and a soft moan slipped between the two of you, feeding the intensity of the grind as your skin pressed together.
The sounds of your connection filled the room: the rhythmic, fleshy slap of your pelvis against his, the slick noise of lubrication being worked between your bodies. Your breasts bounced with every movement, nipples hardening into tight peaks.
At this moment, Baelor was no longer passive. While he kept the camera steady, his other hand reached up, gripping your hip with a force that could bruise to help quicken the pace. With a possessive energy taking over him, he began to thrust upward, meeting your descent with a fierce intensity.
"Oh yes- harder," you whimpered, your fingers digging into his shoulders. "Baelor, yes, p- please, harder!"
He adjusted his hold on the camera, wanting to capture every detail. He observed how the skin on your inner thighs turned a deep pink, how your clitoris was being pressed and stimulated by the base of his shaft with each thrust.
"You want it harder?" he roared. The sound of his voice reverberating in the bedroom. The friction was turning into an inferno. You could sense the wetness flowing, a blend of your own arousal and his pre-cum seeping out, forming a slippery, frothy lather that allowed every thrust to penetrate deeper.
"Look at the camera," Baelor ordered, his breath coming in uneven gasps. "Look at me, my love. I want to see your face while I ruin you."
He flipped the LCD around so you could see yourself clearly. You leaned forward, hair spilling around like a curtain. You looked directly into the lens, eyes glazed with desire, lips parted. On the screen, you saw yourself - tousled, yearning, utterly consumed by him. It only deepened the heat building within you.
Baelor's thrusts became frantic, his composure shattering. He was no longer merely recording; he was engaging in a visual feast of his own creation. He observed how his cock vanished into you, the skin stretching tight, and how your body jolted with each impact against your cervix.
"I'm going to fill you," he groaned, his voice faltering. "I'm going to put it all inside you, and we're going to watch it together." The tension in your lower belly tightened into a knot, a coil of electricity that refused to let go.
Baelor sensed that you were nearing your climax, so he reached down, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it vigorously while you continued to ride him. Your internal muscles began to spasm, clamping down on him in tight. Without warning, you screamed his name, your head thrown back as a powerful orgasm surged through you. You felt your walls pulsing around his cock, milking him with every contraction.
He didn't hold back. With one final, powerful thrust, he drove upward, burying himself as deep as he could. He let out a guttural shout, body tensing as he came. You felt the hot, thick jets of his seed erupting against your cervix, wave after wave of pulsing warmth that seemed to fill you completely.
The camera recorded everything - the tremor in his arms, the way your eyes rolled back, and the raw, intense release. As the peak faded, you fell onto his chest, your skin glistening with sweat, heart pounding against his ribs.
Baelor didn’t move the camera right away. He kept it rolling for a few more moments, capturing the heavy silence in the room, the sound of your synchronized, labored breaths, and the sight of your bodies still intertwined, shaking in the aftermath.
After a while, he reached out and pressed the stop button. The red light disappeared. He set the camcorder down on the mattress and wrapped both arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. You lay there for a long while, the cool air of the room starting to dry the sweat on your skin.
"Well," Baelor whispered, his voice returning to its usual steady tone, though still tinged with a lingering tremor. "I think the camera works perfectly."
You let out a soft, tired giggle, snuggling your face into the crook of his neck. The scent of cedar and sex surrounded you, a intoxicating mix that made you feel safe and completely cherished. You looked up at him, a playful smile on your lips. "Do you think we should delete it now?".
Baelor leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, breath warm on your skin. "In a minute," he murmured, lips finding yours. "I think I want to see if we can make the second take even better."
summer is a room (i) | professor!baelor targaryen x reader
ೃ⁀➷ this is part four of the professor baelor universe. find the masterlist here.
Content Notes: History professor Baelor, graduate student reader, Modern AU (modernized Westeros, not characters in modern real world), professor/student relationship so therefore inherent power imbalance, age gap (reader is in her 20s), explicit sexual content, PiV sex, choking, brief drug use, angst, reader POV, no Y/N.
Word Count: 10k
Author Notes: This is one half of reader & Baelor's summer between her 2nd and 3rd (final!) years of grad school. My semester's finishing up so hopefully the wait for part 5 won't be as long. Thanks for bearing with me, I love chatting with y'all and I hope I've cooked up something tasty with this massive chapter <3
do not copy or reproduce any of my work! do not feed my work to generative ai!
Read it on AO3 here if that's what you prefer :)
Summer is a room of unopened windows. Open me of this oppression. This deviant solstice in which I watch you from across the garden. It’s enough, isn’t it? I can live off of this.
—Lisa Marie Basile, “saint of fixation”
It’s a win-win arrangement. He gets housesitting services: someone to bring in his mail, water his plants, keep the kitchen from accumulating dust while he spends the summer with his family in the Stormlands. You get a place to stay in the gap before your new lease starts, a full house where the sink actually functions and you’re not awoken at two in the morning by the refrigerator making a startling new noise. There’s the massive bed all to yourself, too. The fancy coffee machine. The little fenced-in garden where you can fall asleep to the sound of his neighbor playing the saxophone in the early evening hours. You’re the one who’s benefitting, mainly.
Don’t hurry back, you’d joked when he handed over his spare key. The kiss he’d given you before he loaded his suitcase into his car and driven off into the humid morning still haunts your lips. No promises, sweet girl, he said.
You love his townhouse, you always have. You love the softness of his kitchen. You love the morning light that douses the living room and the evening light that turns the bedroom burnt orange. You love picking a book off of his well-stocked shelves and spending the whole weekend lingering in its pages. You’ve never, not once in your life, lived in a place so stable and comfortable and indulgent. Playing homeowner while you cook breakfast in nothing but your underwear and one of his shirts has to be some sort of fantasy.
But summer, that lazy beast that settles its hot chest against every crevice of King’s Landing, is long. Painfully so. Three weeks into his absence, you’re ready to eat your words. You’d give anything for him to hurry back to you.
The hours go slow while you babysit the library circulation desk. It’s a decent gig. You can at least play with the beginnings of essays and poems while you sit there. Mostly, though, you stare into midair and wonder about Baelor. About Summerhall, the family estate that he talks about as if it’s a magical realm. You picture him in those white linen shirts you’d seen him packing. In your imagination, he’s some sort of prince in his gorgeous palace, standing on a balcony while the wind makes a crown out of his gray-streaked curls.
“Tell me about the library. Did anyone check out anything interesting today?” He asks when he calls to check in. You’re lucky he can’t see you rolling your eyes.
“It was fine. I spent three hours looking for a law textbook that someone had put in the engineering section, that was fun.” You sigh and sip at the cocktail you’d made yourself with his nice whiskey. “I want to hear about you.”
“What about me?” He chuckles, always sounding a little surprised that you’re as interested in the mundanities of his day as he is in yours.
“I don’t know. Did you win at polo or shooting or whatever it is you rich people do?” It’s only half of a joke. You think he has mentioned shooting with his brother at some point.
“You’ll be disappointed.” There’s a shuffling noise in the background; you imagine him laying back on silken sheets beneath a canopied bed. “I spent most of today in the study.”
Of course. All the luxury in the world and he’s probably hunched over some absurdly expensive antique desk, scribbling away at peer reviews until his eyes water. His attachment to his work is fascinating. Devastating, too. You’d seen the leather satchel he packed, stuffed fuller than his suitcase had been. Papers packed tight. All begging for attention. Sometimes you wonder what he thinks will happen if he puts it down. It’s not the worst addiction he could have, but it’s an addiction nonetheless.
“You should be having fun,” you chide him, sounding more like a mother than a… well, whatever you are to him. A something-more-than-casual-hookup, something-less-than-girlfriend, it seems. You try not to let the ambiguity eat at you, but gods, it’s got sharp teeth.
“I could say the same for you.” Well, he’s got you there. “You have the money I left you.”
“That’s for emergencies.” You scoff. You’d taken one look at the envelope he’d left on the kitchen table and had felt dizzy. Whatever he thinks the going rate is for housesitting, he must’ve multiplied it by five.
“That’s for you, sweet girl.” The lowness in his voice, amplified by the rasp of the phone, makes your thighs clench. “Use it. You deserve it.”
“Fine.” As if it’s some horrible task, spending his money on fun. And yet you’re certain that you’ll feel guilty about it. Money might be a toy in his family. For you, it’s a tension headache.
The clock’s pushing one in the morning and you’ve moved from the kitchen to the living room to the bedroom by the time you hear him make his time to go sigh. “I ought to go to bed. You’ll tell me if you need anything? You can text me anytime, you know that.”
“I know.” You have your phone perched on his pillow. Eyes closed, sheets cocooned around you, you can almost pretend that he’s right there.
“Good night, sweet girl.”
“Good night,” you murmur, and then, “I miss you.”
“I know.”
There’s a part of you that’s made bolder by the fact that he’s not really there. It scratches at the inside of your ribcage and makes you want to say things that you shouldn’t say. With your head tucked into the blankets that are steeped in his scent, your I miss yous sound more and more like I love yous every time he calls. You could almost let your guard down. You could almost let yourself say what you really mean.
But then your eyes are opening to emptiness and the blue light of the phone, and his metallic voice saying just before he hangs up: “I miss you, too.”
Summer is doing something strange to you.
It’s not the heat. Well, it’s not just the heat, because you’re no exception to its heavy, vicious presence. The aircon tries its best, but when the sun reaches its apex and the streets radiate so hot you can taste the asphalt in the air, no one can escape it. You’re pouring sweat the whole walk home from campus. The second you step into the townhouse, your drenched clothes get stripped off and kicked into a sad little pile while you stand in front of the open fridge in your underwear and chug water like your life depends on it.
But then there are the dreams. Hazy, fractured, they stick to the inside of your skull like bits of wet confetti. You’ve started scratching lists into your journal first thing in the morning. An attempt to remember, to find meaning in the recurring symbols. Feathers, ink stains, someone’s hands all bloodied-up. Each night feels like a trip to some mysterious place that leaves you bone-weary and befuddled when you wake.
And amidst it all: Baelor. The lack of him winds itself into a needy cord around your neck. Strangles you while you retreat into your own mind during the long hours at the circulation desk. You’re more lust-struck than you’ve ever been in your life. Hands constantly scrambling to sate the need, each time you come around your own fingers you’re only deepening the void in your gut.
The evenings that Baelor doesn’t call spread like jam, thick and viscous. You languish in the muggy air, half-asleep, feeling an emotion you can’t put a name to. On the horizon: clouds looming heavy over Blackwater Bay. There’s a thunderstorm building, threatening to break.
You’re in the middle of a dream where your teeth are falling out when your phone rattles you awake. A groggy Hello? while your tongue prods the corners of your mouth, making sure that everything’s where it ought to be. The sheets have embedded little wrinkles onto your arms and cheeks. A sheen of sweat swaddles you while you peel yourself upright. There’s air humming through the vents and the overhead fan is doing its best, but you can tell the aircon is straining to keep up.
“Did I wake you, love?”
“No,” you mutter, blinking the sleep out of your eyes, “no, sorry, I’m awake.”
A little chuckle on the other end, probably him hearing right through your lie. “You work too much, you need your rest. I can call back—”
“No, please?” You can’t hide how needy you are. “Tell me about your day?”
You put him on speaker while you stumble downstairs, pouring yourself the tallest, iciest glass of water possible. He clearly didn’t take your commandment to have fun very seriously. Peer reviewing articles, editing syllabi for the fall term, helping his brother with business… his day sounds about as tedious as yours. You hmm and uh huh? while he talks, investigating the thermostat (which claims it’s about ten degrees cooler than it actually feels).
Funny, though. He sounds lighter. You’d go so far as to say excited, though nothing he reports seems particularly exciting.
“Can’t believe you,” you tease when he’s finished. “You know you’re allowed to take a break? No one’s going to kill you for it.”
“Work comes before play, you know that.”
“I’m not talking about play. I mean an actual break. Do nothing for a day, I dare you. Go stare at the clouds.” You’ve never seen him truly idle in all the time you’ve known him. Always fretting over a task, no matter how small: making tea, reorganizing a stack of papers, taking a call from one of his sons or brothers. The notion of him sitting somewhere, hands empty, eyes unfocused, is as strange and unsettling as your tooth dream.
“What about you, sweet girl?” He asks, oh-so-conveniently changing the focus back to you. “Did you use the money I left you?”
“Mhm.” You cast a sideways look at the untouched envelope on the kitchen table while you formulate some sort of story. “Um, I got my nails done.”
“Good girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Stop that.” It’s sinful, how cocky he sounds, praising you for spending his money. “D’you want me to bankrupt you or something?”
“You’d have to try awfully hard to do that, love,” he says. You can hear the smirk in his voice. Fucking rich boy. No matter how well he hides it, he’ll always be part of a class so far above you that he might as well live among the clouds. You, with your student loans quietly gaining interest and the odd collection of part-time jobs you’ve been working since you were fourteen… you’re solidly in the dirt of the world.
“You’d better start working on an airtight prenup, then.”
Fuck. Stupid joke. Your smile fades into thin air, skin prickling as if the room’s suddenly gone cold. You should know better than to use marriage as a punchline. It’s one of those lines you leave uncrossed with him, even if it hovers between the both of you like a loaded gun. Of course you’d be reckless enough to pull the trigger at some point.
“About that,” he says, in a tone that you can’t read over the phone. Heart pulsing out of control, your mouth goes dry and your brain comes up with a hundred possibilities for what he’s about to say next, each one more disastrous than the last.
“Uh huh?”
“I told my boys that I’m seeing someone,” he says.
“Oh.”
Genuinely dumbstruck, a long moment goes by before your brain fully processes what he’s said.
“Um, did you tell them that… like, how we met, or—”
“I said we met on campus. I think it’s best to leave it at that.” There’s a rumble of an inhale or an exhale. “But I told them that you’re a writer. That you work at the library. They’d like to meet you.”
“I’d love that,” you say so quickly, giddy with nerves, “I’d love to meet them, honestly. Anytime. If that’s alright with you.”
“I’ll figure out a time. Thank you, sweet girl.”
You’re not sure what to say. You’re not sure what to do with your hands. You’re standing in the middle of his kitchen, still bleary from your evening nap, feeling like a bomb just went off. Seismic tremors ripple through your bones. The sun glints off of your phone screen and casts a shiny, trembling reflection onto the wall.
The lie by omission doesn’t even bother you. You’d gladly play along with whatever story he wants to tell so he doesn’t have to admit that you were his student. You’re real. Not some nameless secret. Something more means that you’re someone who gets to meet his sons. His brothers someday, maybe. You’re someone who can fit into his life. Someone who might end up in one of those picture frames over the mantle someday.
It’s all you wanted, really. A dream come suddenly, shockingly true.
There’s some sort of muffled conversation on the other end of the call. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. More business. I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course.” You stutter through the big, stupid grin on your face. “Talk to you then.”
“Good. Good night, love.”
“Good night.” You say, and then: “I love you.”
There’s the briefest silence.
Your breath hitches in your throat.
And then the call ends.
Fuck.
You’ve said it before, haven’t you? Surely you’ve let it slip by now. Gods, you’ve probably thought it a thousand times. While you’re falling asleep next to him. While he’s inside you. While he’s making you tea and hmm-ing while he reads your writing. He’s called you “love,” but that’s different. You’d use that with children, with shy undergrads who are nice to you in the library, with a seagull, for fuck’s sake. But as you stand there in the stark stillness of the kitchen, wracking your brain, you come up blank.
Maybe he hadn’t heard you? You try to replay the conversation in your memory. How long had that pause been, between you blurting out I love you and him hanging up? It feels like a whole handful of seconds had gone by, but maybe you’re remembering it wrong. Maybe he’d hung up in the middle of you saying it. There was someone in the background, maybe he was distracted by them. Maybe you broke up a little.
Or maybe he heard you loud and fucking clear. And didn’t say it back.
“Fuck.” You hiss. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!”
Your phone clatters to the floor. Typical you. Shattering all the happiness you’d worked so hard to build. Fucking idiot, you curse yourself, whole body slipping into panic. Hands shaking while you fetch your phone off the hardwood, you’re trying to avoid going into full cardiac arrest when you look down and see that it’s pulled up your emergency contact screen.
Fucking hells. If this doesn’t constitute an emergency, you’re not sure what does.
It takes all of two rings for that familiar accent to greet you, bright and buoyant as ever. “Hey! I was just thinkin’ of you, isn’t that funny?”
“Dunk,” you warble, “I fucked up.”
“Winger!”
The pub’s packed tight. Saturday night, and there’s a football game on. King’s Landing Dragons versus Winterfell Direwolves. You bump your way past a stag party hogging the bar. The group of guys bang their fists and chant while the groom-to-be chugs his beer. The first daters, the uni friends, the girl groups mingling with the guy groups, all the usual suspects are there.
“Oi, Winger!”
You follow the sound to the corner, because even in the middle of all the chaos, you’ve at least got the certainty that Winger means you. And sure enough, you find him there: Duncan, tall and solid as ever, wrapping you in the sturdiest hug you’ve ever felt as soon as you lay eyes on him.
“You grew!” You giggle while you’re smushed against his chest. Your go-to line for as long as you can remember. Maybe he has grown, you wonder when he finally sets you down. He looks different. Good. He’s grown his hair out, shoulder-length and shiny as fresh copper even in the low lights. But those blue eyes, that scrappy old flannel with the hole in the cuff… he’s the same Duncan who you met when you were eight, that lost puppy of a boy who latched onto you as much as you did him.
“Nah, only sideways,” he grins, patting his gut (where you’re absolutely certain there’s nothing but abs). “Hey, you alright?”
He probably knows the answer is no. You look as tired as you feel. You’d been on the phone with him until the small hours of the morning, ranting and crying and pouring yourself shot after shot of Baelor’s top-shelf whiskey. Even now, the smell of alcohol in the air makes your stomach turn. The fact that you’ve wrestled yourself out of bed and taken the ferry all the way to Dragonstone is a fucking miracle.
“I’m fine.” You shrug, which means not at all.
“It’s fine if you’re not, y’know.” Mercifully, though, he changes the subject before all the weariness and heartache can claw its way to the surface again. “Hey, come meet my friends.”
He introduces you to Raymun—Fossoway, as in Fossoway Cider? you ask, and he just nods his mop of dark curls and blushes—and Raymun’s fiancée Rowan. Duncan fetches you a club soda while you get the full story about the whirlwind romance, the engagement, the wedding plans. They’re a funny couple. Finishing each other’s stories. Her correcting the details about how exactly he’d proposed. Him babbling about how he’d chosen the ring. You get a full slideshow of picture after picture of their baby, too: Rosie, three months old, apparently being fawned over by Rowan’s girlfriends for the evening.
“She’s Daddy’s girl through and through,” Rowan sighs, and Raymun just beams with pride.
“Aye, but she’s got her Mum’s good looks.” There’s a cheeky little look between them. Like they’re sharing a joke you’re not in on.
It’s sweet, though. How comfortable they are with each other. How they ebb and flow, how they tease and flirt. You’d be more charmed by it if you weren’t struck by the crushing question of whether you and Baelor could ever have it so easy.
Maybe you could’ve, if you hadn’t gone and royally fucked it up.
“So Duncan says you’re a writer?”
“Yeah,” you cringe internally, always so graceless making small talk about yourself. “Um, I’m in grad school at KLU. It’ll be my last year this fall.”
“Ugh.” Raymun catches himself. “Sorry. Nothing to do with you, I promise.”
“He’s got a thing about King’s Landing,” Rowan adds for him. “Hates the fancy folks. The Velaryons, the Celtigars, all them.”
“It’s the Targaryens mostly, but I—”
“Oi!” She elbows him in the ribs. “She’s fucking dating one of them, idiot. Remember what Duncan said? Have some class.”
“Oh! Right, sorry. No, I didn’t mean… it’s nothing personal, just, like, the principle,” Raymun scrambles sheepishly. You’re sure, from the looks on their faces, that you’ve gone a bit stiff. Residual pride puffs up your chest, even if today you’d gladly rant about the “fancy folks” and how much they tend to set your nerves aflame.
“That’s alright.” You manage a lopsided smile. “I get it. They’re not for everyone.”
Duncan, always your savior, swoops back in with another round of drinks. “Hey, pool table’s open. You want to play?”
“No mate, I’m shit,” Raymun insists, but he looks all too happy to be strong-armed into a game.
“You boys do that.” Rowan nudges you. “Fancy some air?”
Outside, you can hear the cheers and groans as the football game enters the second half. Rowan takes a hit of her cherry-flavored vape while the pair of you lean against the brick exterior and bask in the lukewarm breeze. Across the street, a pack of drunk uni boys whistles at the pair of you. Fuck off! you both yell back at the same time.
“Gods, sorry,” you wince. Rowan gives you a quizzical look, cocking a perfectly-plucked eyebrow.
“Sorry for what? They were talking to you.”
“What?”
Judging from the way she gives an incredulous little chuckle, you must look properly astounded. “Yeah, babe. I’m not their type now, am I?”
“Are you serious?”
You wonder if there’s something wrong with your eyes. She’s gorgeous. If someone told an artist to draw a beautiful woman, they’d draw her. Even under the dull streetlights, her curls are a bright, soft crown. Perfectly messy, perfectly twirled into an effortless bun that you could never, ever hope to achieve. The v-neck of her emerald green top frames her tits just right. Her jeans might as well be custom fit from the way they hug her ass. She’s a goddess, a vision, the kind of woman who you feel a little embarrassed standing next to, and you’re just… well. You’re you.
“You should be everyone’s type,” you offer, directing your gaze back to the concrete before you seem as perverted as those boys across the street.
“Aw, thanks,” she grins. “Sorry about Raymun, by the way. He’s from the Reach, you know how they get all territorial.”
“It’s fine. Really. He seems lovely.”
“Yeah, he’s a nice one.” You can feel her eyes on you, parsing you apart. “How’s yours?”
“Mine?”
Gods, it feels strange to talk about Baelor like this: so casual, so open. Like your relationship is as typical as anyone else’s. You’ve spent a year having heart palpitations about the notion of anyone at the university finding out about the two of you, and now you’re calling him mine on the sidewalk for any of the tipsy passersby to hear.
“He’s good,” you reply after chewing on the inside of your cheek for a minute. “He’s away for the summer, actually. Visiting family and all that.”
“That’s too bad.” She offers you a sympathetic hit of her vape. “Nothing like reunion sex though, yeah? They’re fun when they’re all pent up.”
Coughing up a cherry-flavored cloud, laughter bubbles from deep down in your chest. It’s a strange sound. Something you haven’t heard in what feels like ages. Light as a baby bird, making your whole body sparkle with a nicotine-laced effervescence. Maybe this was what you’ve needed all along as the antidote to your hollowness: summer air, girlish giggling, conspiratorial smiles shared with a potential partner in crime.
And maybe it’s that lack of pretense, that clever warmth that Rowan has, that makes you blurt out: “I told him I loved him last night.”
“Oh?”
“He didn’t say it back.” You’re wincing at yourself, but the floodgates are open and the rant tumbles out all at once. “I mean, it was right before I hung up, so maybe he didn’t hear me? But I think he probably did. And just before that, he said he told his sons about me and that they wanted to meet me, so I thought… I dunno, it just slipped out, but I thought it made sense, you know?”
“Maybe you just shocked him,” she reasons. “It’s one thing to think it, it’s another to hear it, yeah?”
Well. It all sounds so simple when she puts it like that.
You gnaw on your lip for a long minute. “What should I do?”
“If I were you? Nothing. You’ve said your bit, it’s his turn to say his.” Rowan tilts her head. “Aw, hey. Does he make you sad like this all the time?”
“No!” You’re quick to protest. “No, he’s perfect. I really do love him. It’s just… it’s hard sometimes.”
“Yeah, well. That’s just how it is, ain’t it?”
A car rumbles by, boosted bass making the ground quiver beneath you. Craning your neck to look past the old rooftops, past the glow of King’s Landing shining from across the bay, you stare into the night sky and just breathe. Messy you. Foolish, fucked-up, poetic you, always entangling yourself in complications because it’s more comfortable for you that way. You’ve been drifting in the atmosphere of your confusion. Untethered. And beside you, Rowan tucks her vape back in her pocket, a friendship one hour old and already pulling you back down to the ground.
“Hey, c’mon. Enough of that.” She gives you a playful nudge in the ribs. “Raymun really is shit at pool. Want to do a round of boys versus girls? You look like you could use a win.”
Breathy laughter drifting off on the wind, you rally your energy and find it shockingly renewed. “I could.”
Neither of you are a particularly skilled shot. But true to her word (and Raymun’s own), he really is utter shit. Drunken blush every time the cue strikes a ball at an awkward spot, he endures Rowan’s teasing all while staring at her with the widest, most starstruck eyes you’ve ever seen on a man. Team rivalry gets forgotten somewhere in the banter. You all lose track of the score and whose turn it is. They’re magnetized to each other’s sides, lips on necks and hands on hips, a sort of public foreplay that would make your stomach turn if it were anyone else. You’ll give them a pass. They’re too cute to hate.
“Hey, there she is!” Duncan claps as you sink the four ball, even though he’d spent ten minutes helping you set up the shot. His palm’s sweaty when he high-fives you. Big, toothy grin on his face. In the din of pop music from thirty years ago and angry football fans howling at the TV, you wrap your arms around his tree trunk frame and close your eyes. So solid, so constant. Your Dunk.
“Thanks for this,” you murmur into his shirt. “I missed you.”
He nests an innocent kiss onto the top of your head. “Missed you more, Winger.”
It’s two in the morning by the time you finally rattle the key into the lock of Baelor’s townhouse. Drunk on nothing but happiness. Humming some synth pop song the pub had on repeat. You’ve got girls’ night plans with Rowan in the works. A promise to Duncan to come to a match for the boys’ rugby team he’s started coaching. Every little nook of your heart feels so full. You pull out your phone and find two missed calls and two unread texts.
Please let me know when you get this.
I just want to know that you’re safe.
You tap out a reply and then toss your phone somewhere into the sea of bedsheets while you head for the shower.
i’m fine!
For once, maybe you mean it.
It’s not easy to do nothing. But you do it. Or, at least, you skirt as close to “nothing” as you can. A week later, phone on speaker propped against the mirror, makeup scattered across the vanity like a glittery bomb’s gone off, you don’t bring up that rogue “I love you”. You tell him about your plans for the night: mini-golf with Duncan, Rowan, and Raymun. You assure him that yes, you’ll pay for it with the money he left. You listen to his updates: his older son off to Tyrosh for an internship, his younger son invited on a beach holiday with school friends, his brother called into the city on business, all convenient excuses for him to shut himself in the library of his summer mansion and work until his eyes water. You let the conversation simmer in mundanity, pretending like nothing’s changed, like there’s not a needy creature pecking at your ribs from the inside, begging him to say it back.
“It’s good that you’re spending time with your friends,” he says. “I’m happy for you.”
There’s something taut about his voice. It makes your stomach flutter with nervousness. Are you? you’d push if you were bolder. I’m happy for you. I’m proud of you. I miss you. All these things he says, as if he’s steering toward a confession and slamming on the brakes at the last second. You bite your tongue while you swipe on another layer of your already-melting mascara. Silence has become your new accomplice. It stretches and stretches until it snaps.
“I should go.”
“Alright.” Disappointment dulls the excitement. “The aircon’s broken, by the way.”
“I’ll have it looked at.”
“Okay.” You wait for him to say something else, but he doesn’t. “Good night.”
There’s another pause. Breath held tight, you stare at the screen and wait. 45:05, the call time says. It ticks up and up. 45:06, 07, 08. You could say it again. Make sure he hears it. Double down, put all your cards on the table and dare him to make a move.
No. You’re doing nothing, you remind yourself. So you don’t.
“Good night, sweet—” is all you hear before you hang up.
There’s a man in the living room.
Still half-asleep, mouth dry, the margarita you’d split with Rowan last night making your stomach unsteady, you feel like you’ve stumbled into a bizarre little dream. Your detective instincts are slow to kick in. There’s no sign of a forced entry. He’s not shoving Baelor’s antique clock and silver candlesticks into a bag. If he’s a robber, he’s a fucking terrible one.
The stranger prods at the thermostat. Sleeves of his nicely-pressed white shirt rolled up, you have to stare for a moment at the sheer size of his forearms. Faint sweat stains make the contours of his biceps visible through the fabric. The aircon? you wonder, although he’s absurdly well-dressed. Maybe that’s just the kind of world that Baelor lives in, though. Even the electricians are clad in expensive watches and designer shoes.
“Hello?” You try your voice, finding it roughened by a morning rasp.
He turns, fixes you with a furrowed-brow look, eyes giving you a thorough once-over. A few strands of crisply-coiffed white hair cling to his forehead. He seems vaguely familiar, yet you can’t begin to think of who he reminds you of. You’re suddenly all too aware of the fact that you’re wearing nothing but a scrappy pair of panties and a three-sizes-too-big King’s Landing Dragons tee you’d dug out of Baelor’s closet.
“Ah,” he says. “The lady of the house.”
“Um…” your brain buffers. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone this soon.”
“Clearly.”
That wakes you up. Fancy electrician with an asshole scowl and the snark to match. Subtly trying to smooth your shirt further down your thighs, you consider whether it’s best to scramble back upstairs and leave him to his work or continue your strange journey to the kitchen for the cup of coffee that’s singing your name.
“Can I get you something to drink?” You offer, stomach growling, coffee winning out. “Tea or coffee?”
“Whiskey on the rocks,” he says, and your nervous laugh dies in your throat as you realize he’s not joking. “What, is the ice maker broken too?”
He digs into his back pocket as he swaggers through to the kitchen. You follow like a wide-eyed lost dog, stuttering faint protest when he pulls out a pack of cigarettes and nestles one between his lips. Massive hands pluck a matchbook from Baelor’s collection on the kitchen table—silver, emblazoned with a hotel logo—and strike a flame while you stand dumbfounded in the doorway.
“Seven hells,” the stranger grunts, flipping through the cabinets, “where does my fucking brother keep his glasses?”
Oh.
It all comes together. The white hair, the looming frame, the annoyance oozing from every pore. A recurring figure in half of the photographs in the house. The man you know Baelor’s talking about each time he says my brother with a sigh, half-frustration and half-fondness. Maekar.
“Other side of the sink.”
Ah, he huffs, fetching himself a glass. You let him pillage the liquor cabinet while you brew a pot of coffee. There’s no way you’re about to have this interaction without any caffeine in your body.
“Baelor didn’t say you were coming.” You try to sound nonchalant while the machine burbles and drips. Maekar makes himself completely at home at the kitchen table with his glass of whiskey in one hand and cigarette in the other.
“Used to be that I could drop in anytime I liked.” He drains half the shot in one sip. “But that was before you.”
Tucked against the corner cabinets, the air in the room feels impossibly humid and dense. It’s hard to read the expression playing out behind his well-groomed white beard. Accusation? Amusement? You feel like you’re going through the motions of your morning under a magnifying glass, cold eyes drilling into your every move. You know he’s judging your choice of attire. He’s probably judging which mug you choose from the cabinet: a hand-painted one that reminds you of the teacups Baelor had broken months ago. The almond milk you’re pouring into your coffee. The way you refuse to dirty a spoon just to properly mix the milk in, opting instead to just sip the too-bitter coffee while the white clouds settle to the bottom.
The more you stand there amidst the silence and the stares, the more you start to feel a sense of pride prickling at your chest. The townhouse has, for better or for worse, become the place you think of when you think about home. Your milk in the fridge. Your books strewn across the couch. Your hair getting caught in the drain of the tub. Maybe you won’t call him out on what this seems like to you—a nosy little brother taking advantage of a convenient opportunity to snoop—but you won’t shy away, either.
You clatter your mug onto the table, taking a seat and pointing at his nearly-empty pack of menthols. “D’you mind?”
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” he shrugs, sliding it across the table. You’re not a very well-practiced smoker, only ever indulging to look cool in front of handsome boys or to round out a night of drinks. Luck is on your side, though. You strike a match and take a drag without coughing.
“So was there a reason for you dropping in when you know your brother’s not here?” You dare to ask, meeting his steely gaze.
“Maybe I missed having a decent glass of whiskey.”
“Uh huh.” Doubtful, you tilt your head. “Like you can’t afford good whiskey?”
“I can afford it just fine,” he grumbles, “I gave this to him for his nameday. My fucking mistake, though. The distillery’s out of business now. Should’ve kept it for myself.”
Somehow, you doubt that. There’s a tenderness in the way he holds the bottle. A little smirk ghosts across his face. He seems like the kind of man who will whine and complain about wasting expensive liquor on his brother when really, deep down, he’s all chuffed with himself and his gift-giving abilities.
“Anyways. I thought I might do some investigating while I’m in the city,” he continues, blowing smoke sideways. “I’ve got this mystery, see.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“My brother.”
Can’t help with that one, you want to tell him. You’re still working at unraveling that particular mystery yourself.
Worry outweighs any clever remarks, though. “Is he alright?”
“He ought to be. It’s King’s Landing that usually makes him such a miserable old bastard, not Summerhall.” He quips. “Suppose that’s your doing, too.”
“You think he’s miserable?” Tired, you’d understand. Flustered, maybe, especially if he had heard your confession. But miserable… that makes you chew the inside of your cheek while your cigarette smoulders between your fingers. As much as you’re happy keeping Baelor at arm’s length while you wait for him to make a move, any move, you hate thinking of him wallowing his summer away.
“I think he’ll work himself to death if he gets the chance. And we don’t want that,” he raises an eyebrow, “do we?”
There’s a little guilt trip woven into that question. A hidden implication: that he’s only working as much as he is to distract himself from missing you. You’ve tried, you want to protest. It’s all you’ve been doing since he left. Gods, it’s a fucking bit between you two now. You’ve held up your end of the bargain, filling your evenings with Duncan and Rowan and Raymun instead of rotting away in the achingly empty bed.
Maybe you could’ve tried harder, though. Made less of a joke of it. Pushed him to put down the papers and the emails. Guilt twists your stomach in knots. Here you are, all proud of yourself for having a life beyond him, all while he’s shutting himself in a dark, lonely library like it’s a form of penance.
“Got any plans next week?”
“Hm? No.” Jarred back to reality, you rush to take one last drag of your cigarette before it burns out. Coffee washes the taste out of your mouth. Bitter replacing bitter. You can’t say that you have anything worth mentioning planned for the upcoming Midsummer holiday. With the University closed for the week, you were probably going to get drunk with Duncan and watch an obscene amount of reality TV.
“Come to Summerhall, then.” Maekar’s glass clinks as he sets it down, empty, the imprint of his lips fading on the rim. “At least the aircon functions there.”
“You’re sure that’d be alright?” You can’t deny the way you light up at the offer. Your mind conjures up images of rolling green hills, elaborate mansion halls cool and crisp even during the peak heat of the day, Baelor’s weight next to you as you fall asleep. It’s a tempting portrait.
“It’s my house, if I say it’s alright then it’s alright.” He coughs, forehead reddening. You watch him contemplating another glass of whiskey, ultimately deciding against it and pouring himself the dredges of the coffee you’d made.
“And I won’t be a bother? To your family?”
“Won’t be many of us this year.” No milk for him, but you could’ve guessed that. “His boys won’t be there, if that’s what you’re wondering. Me and him. My four youngest. Everyone else’s made a run for it.”
It’s exactly what you’d been wondering. Odd how those blue eyes seem to drill straight into your brain. You wish there were a book you could consult here. Is it alright to meet your maybe-boyfriend’s nieces and nephews before his sons? Is it acceptable to show up to his family’s summer mansion to stage a work-life balance intervention? When in this situation do you demand to know whether he loves you back?
“If you think he’ll be fine with it, then alright.”
“Good.” The way he says it makes you think that you didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. “You do own trousers, I hope.”
“No, I walk around Uni like this,” you deadpan, fighting sarcasm with sarcasm. Under different circumstances, you’d worry about making a good impression. Defer to shyness. The way this morning is going, though, you’ll be lucky if he gets a lukewarm impression from you.
Maekar just scoffs. “Careful, girl.”
Room heady with smoke and coffee, you breathe deep and wonder what you’re getting yourself into. There’s a thick, threatening undercurrent in the air. Tense as a warm front before it snaps. Nothing about it feels careful.
It’s raining when Baelor picks you up from the train station in Ashford. He lets you tuck yourself into your arms, lets you linger there in the parking lot, lets the steady drizzle dampen his hair while he holds you. I missed you so much, you murmur into his shirt, relishing in the way he kisses you. So what if there’s only two other cars around? It’s delightfully public, deliciously normal.
“I missed you, lovely girl,” he says, his wide hands wiping rain off of your forehead. Even with dark circles framing his eyes, he looks at you with a kind of gossamer-soft glow that makes your heart ache from sweetness.
Once you’re settled in the passenger seat, he drapes a hand over the steering wheel while the other perches possessively on your thigh. “I’m sorry my brother maneuvered you into coming here. He shouldn’t have intruded like that.”
“I don’t mind. I didn’t really need much maneuvering.” You trace the tendons of his fingers while he drives. Ink stains decorate the outside of his pinky. His wedding ring occupies its spot on his ring finger. You try not to think about that. You try not to think about whether its constant presence might have anything to do with the fact that he hadn’t said I love you back, either. Keep yourself the fuck together, you’d chanted over and over in your head on the train. You repeat it now, to the rhythm of the windshield wipers as the rain comes down. Keep. Yourself. The fuck. Together.
Somewhere in the repetition and the downpour, you drift off. It’s only when you feel the car jolt from asphalt to gravel that you wake. Sun peeks through still-bulging clouds, making the whole world glisten. Everything you see is impossibly green. Impossibly lush. The trees that line the road are likely older than Westeros itself, aching under the weight of their own gnarled limbs.
There’s a gate looming ahead, dragon motifs woven into the metalwork. Your one semester of Valyrian in undergrad doesn’t do you much good, but you try nonetheless to read what’s spelled out at the peak.
“Pez… perz…”
“Perzys ānogār,” he finishes for you, perfect rs rolling off of his tongue. “Fire and blood.”
You’d scoff at that, joke about how dramatic his family is, how he ought to get that tattooed, but then you see it. Summerhall. Framed by the rolling hills of the Stormlands, it’s a sliver of sun pulled from the sky. Afternoon light refracts off of the windows. Looming like a golden palace amidst all the greenery, you’re blinded by the finery, by the arches, by the sprawling, manicured grounds that seem like they’ve been ripped from the pages of a child’s storybook. It is a palace. A princess might as well be trapped in one of the tall towers that stands at each corner of the mansion. For all you know, there’s a dragon lurking somewhere nearby.
Baelor pulls up to the courtyard, where a man in a crisp suit is opening your door before you can process what’s happening. “Welcome, miss.”
“Will you have her bags taken to my room, please, Yorkel?” Baelor hands him the keys while you find your footing.
“Right away, sir.”
“Thanks,” you manage to say, jaw still slack as you stare at the exterior.
A firm hand finds its spot on the small of your back. “Shall we, sweet girl?”
If you were starstruck by the outside, the inside is enough to blind you. Double staircases and a massive chandelier greet you in the entryway. North wing to the right, Baelor explains. Dining room, library, lounge, drawing room, sitting room (you don’t fully understand what the difference between the last three is). South wing to the left, mostly bedrooms. He guides you up the stairs, where a massive portrait hangs front and center: a man in a suit with a dragon brooch on the lapel, his hand on the shoulder of a seated woman in a rust-orange Dornish-style gown. You’ve seen iterations of their faces in Baelor’s living room and in the Sunspear villa. Daeron and Myriah. Young and regal. Like a king and a queen.
“Are these all your family?” You ask, gesturing towards the corridor walls that are bedecked in old, gilded frames. Distracted, you nearly run into a maid carrying a silver tray before Baelor manages to steer you out of the way.
“My apologies, miss,” she says, calm and classy, carrying on with her work before you can insist that you’re the one who ought to be sorry, not her. You feel like you should be apologizing for just stepping on the pristine floors and breathing the cool, lilac-scented air. All the faces in all the portraits leer at you. Intruder, they accuse silently.
“I’ll give you the full tour tomorrow,” he promises. “You’ll want to rest before dinner.”
He guides you down the halls, past the ghostly gaze of dead family members. Our room, he says at last, opening a door while you bite back a grin. The room in question is probably the size of your entire previous flat. Massive curtains have been draped back, allowing sunlight to filter through the bay windows and splash the sage green walls. Through a doorway in the corner, you can see a claw foot tub. There’s a four-poster bed, a crystal light fixture sparkling from the ceiling, a rug that probably costs more than the average house.
“You live here?” Is all you can bring yourself to say. There’s more you want to ask. You’re dying to unravel the stories behind the portraits, eager to peer around all the corners and wander through all the grand rooms. It’s a strange, surreal, sparkling world you’ve wandered into.
“Only during the summer,” he says, “and as long as my brother tolerates me.”
Right. As if that makes it humbler, somehow.
“I’ll be in the library. Dinner is at eight.”
Pressing a kiss to your forehead, he lingers for a moment, as if he’s about to say something else. You meet his blue-brown gaze, breath frozen. But then he’s gone, leaving you to the intricate stillness, to the room that feels like a gaping mouth trying to swallow you whole.
You try to rest. Mostly, you flit in and out of consciousness. Fever dream snippets cascade every time your eyes close. You wander the halls in your dreams and wake, wondering how you’ve gotten yourself back to bed. You think you hear footsteps outside the room. Sometimes heavy, sometimes a faint pitter-patter. But when you stumble to the door and poke your head out, there’s never anything there.
Keep yourself the fuck together. Cool water and a quick rinse in the tub help. Not enough, though. Your head is still swimming as you touch up your makeup and tug on a slightly-wrinkled sundress.
It’s only a little frightening that you’d woken up to find your belongings all neatly unpacked, toiletries organized on the vanity and clothes hung up in the dresser next to Baelor’s. You don’t recall any of the staff coming in while you’d been in bed. Maybe they’re quiet, good at fluttering around unseen. Maybe the house is actually haunted.
Right down the hallway. Left to get to the entryway. After that, you’re less sure of where you’re going. You end up in the lounge (or is it the sitting room?), then the drawing room (or is it the lounge?), then a room that must be the library.
There’s a blur of white in your peripheral vision. You whip around, finding a little girl peeking at you from behind an armchair. Her pink dress is all aflutter, white hair coming loose from her barrettes. The two of you stare at each other for a moment. Ghost? You wonder.
“Hello.”
“Hi,” she says, and then scurries away before either of you can say anything else.
You try to follow, if only on the off chance that the dining room is her destination, but she’s long gone by the time you make it into the hallway again.
“Lost?”
“Fucking hells.” How is it that the most menacing man you’ve ever met can sneak up on you like a cat? “Yes, actually.”
Maekar snorts. “Are you certain you weren’t just spying?”
“That depends. Have you got something worth spying on? Secret dungeon, maybe?”
He gives you a long look from head to toe, probably trying to decide whether inviting you here was a mistake or not. You do your best not to shrink from it. He’s an animal of a man, quiet in the way he observes you but not less threatening for it. The kind of creature you might’ve been afraid of when you were little. He’s more afraid of you than you are of him, a grown-up might’ve said, even if you wouldn’t have believed it.
There’s a softness there too, though. Minuscule, buried in the lines around his eyes. It’s enough for you to see past the gruff facade. Enough to know that, just like his brother, he’s human.
“Come on, then,” he says at last. “Can’t have you wandering off.”
Of all the rooms in the mansion, the dining room might be the fanciest yet. It looks more suited to a banquet than a casual family dinner. Candlelight casts shadows over the vaulted ceilings. Maekar takes the seat at the head of the table, where a gigantic portrait of Aegon Targaryen hovers on the wall behind him. You’re fairly certain you’ve seen that portrait in history textbooks. Odd, how you’ve found yourself tangled up with a family whose fingerprints are all over the course of Westeros’s history.
Baelor pulls out a seat for you, ever the gentleman. While the staff pours water and wine, four pairs of eyes stare at you from across the table. Two boys, two girls. The smallest: the same girl you’d encountered in the library. She’s giving you a sly grin, which you flash right back at her.
“Aemon, Daella, Aegon, Rhae.” Maekar goes down the line one by one before he offers them your name.
“You’re Uncle Baelor’s girlfriend?” Daella seems incredulous. Twelve years old, if you’re remembering correctly, and probably the mirror image of her mother. Next to her, Aemon goes beet red and stares down at his napkin.
You shrug. “I’d say it’s more like he’s my boyfriend.”
Maekar snorts. For half a second, there’s an exchange of looks between him and Baelor, a language you could never hope to understand. Anxiety flares inside you—you’ve never called him a boyfriend before, especially not in front of other people—but he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t correct you. Just squeezes your hand under the table, warm and strong.
In between bites of Northern-style roast chicken, you answer the barrage of questions from Maekar’s children. What do you do? What do you write? Are you famous? Have you ever read The Tales of Florian and Jonquil? What did you think of it?
“Well, what did you think of it?” You reverse the question at Aegon, who perks up immediately.
“I liked the dragon fighting part! The rest of it was a bit boring.”
“Finish chewing before you speak, boy,” Maekar chides, though there’s no malice in it. Just a tired, fatherly frustration. Sorry, Aegon mutters with a mouth full of green beans.
You’re keenly aware of Baelor’s eyes on you during your dinnertime deposition. And though he steps into the conversation from time to time—Not tonight, sweetheart, he asserts gently when Rhae demands you meet her beloved pony Morning—he lets you handle their inquiries by yourself. It’s impossible to shake the sense that you’re being tested. And even if you manage to play along, even if you earn a giggle or two, your heart’s beating faster than it did in any exam you ever took in school.
After the chocolate mousse (which ends up smudged on Rhae’s nose somehow), the staff clear the table like clockwork while Aegon and Rhae whine about being sent to bed. It’s Aemon who corrals them. He lets Rhae clamber onto his back, gives a dutiful good night, Dad, to Maekar, offers you a shy smile. It was nice meeting you.
Daella lingers, sly as a fox. “Can I stay up—”
“One hour,” Maekar grunts, “and don’t let me hear that TV.”
“Thank you!” And even though he puts on a firm face, there’s nothing but fondness there when she pecks his cheek before running off to join her siblings.
It’s strange, really. You feel like you’re in the dark of the cinema. That soft sternness, that familiarity, it’s utterly foreign to you. Fatherhood might as well be a fantasy film. Blinking away your wistful stare, you turn and meet Baelor’s gentle gaze. Opening you, reading you. His hand returns to your thigh, a comforting weight, a silent I know. You latch onto his fingers with your own. It’s been too long since you had the anchor of his body latching you into reality. How fiercely you’d missed him. There’s a needy tension in your hands. Don’t let me go, it says.
Maekar lets out a long groan as he stands, rubbing his bearded chin. “Drinks and billiards?”
“Not tonight, I think,” Baelor says without breaking eye contact, the tiniest sparkle of suggestion surfacing. “Long day.”
“Yeah,” you lie. “Exhausted.”
You’re barely inside the threshold of the room when Baelor’s mouth is on yours. Lips on lips, teeth crashing against tongue, you stumble backwards while he swallows the laughter right out of your throat. This is what you were truly starved of. The heat of his body, the possessive clutch, the way he touches you like he could break you, like he’s just barely holding himself back.
“Perfect girl,” he rumbles in between hungry kisses, “beautiful girl, do you know how good you are?”
“No—” You gasp, shivering as he makes quick work of your dress. Your mind’s a summer storm, processing touch rather than words. His hands leave you bare in the moonlight before you even fully realize what he’d said.
“No?” He has to guide your hands to his shirt, your trembling fingers fumbling over the buttons. “Do you need me to show you?”
“Please.”
Together, you undress him. He lets his linen shirt fall to the floor while you trace the contours of his chest. You savor the salt-and-pepper scrape of the hair that blooms over his pectorals, interrupted by those two jagged silver scars, thinning and trailing down, down, down, to where it frames his hardening cock. All the muscles in his hips and thighs roll like marble, chiseled and smooth. Your eyes drink in the veins that run down the length of his cock, the moisture that gathers at the tip, the way it pulses to full erection under his white-knuckled fist. He’s a vision. A statue of a god you want to pray to.
He presses you toward the bed, and you let your legs part as your back hits the velvet comforter. The room of your body is a place you’ll always let him in. Baelor hovers over you, wolflike and wanton, eyes fixed on your exposed cunt.
Beautiful, he repeats, a little whisper. Heart hammering against your ribs, your breath comes in shy stutters as he traces the glistening folds. His fingers prod and caress every little nook. There’s no demand in his touch. Just quiet exploration. As if the warm, wet flesh of you is some precious thing.
“Look here.” He notches the tip of his cock at your weeping entrance, waits until your eyes fixate on the joining of your bodies. “I want you to watch.”
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, burning at the sight, watching him split you open with a slick, sinful sound, “oh, fuck—”
A wide hand claps over your mouth right before your voice elevates to a shout. Shh, shh, shh, he hisses, halfway buried inside you. Addled by lust, you forget you’re not in the safety of his house where you can cry and moan as loud as you like. You’re like a pair of teenagers. Horny as beasts, biting back the obscene sounds that bubble up. He keeps you muzzled like that for a long, painful moment, until the vibrations in your vocal cords die down.
Fuck. Oxygen deprivation sends an electric shock straight to your clit. Slowly, trembling, you wrap your fingers around his wrist. He lets you slide his hand down, over your chin, until it’s perching around your throat. The tendons in his jaw tighten once he realizes what you want.
“I can take it,” you rasp, “I want it.”
“Gods, you’re…” he’s muttering, “fuck, sweet girl, I can’t—”
“I want it.” You whine, squeezing his wrist insistently. “Hard. Please.”
“Fucking hells.” Composure entirely lost, he tightens his grip and presses his cock fully inside you all in the span of a single second.
There’s no pause. No chance to adjust to the stretch or the squeeze. He fucks you fast and fierce, setting a brutal pace that sparks your entire body alight. The slap, slap, slap of skin echoes off the walls, dulled by the blood pounding in your ears. Either he doesn’t know his own strength or he’s being rougher than he’s ever been. You don’t care. You cant your hips up to meet each thrust, mouth agape, gasping for air while he ruts into you.
“There… there you are, sweet thing, good girl,” he praises you, though there’s a sharp edge to his voice, one last vestige of restraint. Tension builds and builds low in your stomach. Your mind is screaming even if you can’t use your voice. I love you, you tell him with your body, with the drag of your tongue over his, with the scrape of your nails down his back, with each needy clench of your cunt.
You get ridiculously, indecently wet before you come. You can feel it staining his pelvis, ruining the sheets. The sound fills your foggy head: a sickening, gorgeous song. Oh my gods, you’re mouthing, jaw dropping open, all the tension coiling tighter and tighter.
Baelor kisses the corner of your mouth, your cheek, your brow. “I—fuck, I feel it. There it is. Let it happen.”
And how can you deny him? How can you not fall to pieces as he keeps his persistent, ruthless rhythm, fucking you just the way you like, keeping you powerless and pinned beneath him? His cock and the way it fills and bruises your pussy is only half of what sets off your orgasm. It’s the look in his eyes. The possessiveness in his palms. You’re his, every particle of you.
Scream cut off by his pressure, you writhe and sob while you come, feeling the wave of it all the way down to your toes. His beard tickles your chin while he mutters filth and sweetness. He brings you through it, only increasing his pace when you’re soaked and slack beneath him.
With your head lulling back on the bed, you’re faintly aware of the light from the hall slipping through the gaps in the doorframe. The door itself is just barely ajar. You can’t tell if it’s just the blurriness of your vision, but you think there’s a shadow there. Tall, broad, faint. You blink. Tears invade your eyes. Maybe there ought to be panic rising inside you, but all you can process is how badly you need Baelor to come.
“Come inside me?” You whisper, raking your hands through his hair. It’s a cheap trick at this point, a surefire way to get him to finish. But you want it as much as you’re sure he does. Weeks apart mean you don’t want to waste his come on your belly or in your mouth. You want it deep. Careless. Spilling out of you like a secret.
“You shouldn’t—” he chokes out a strained laugh, “shouldn’t let me keep… doing that… gods…”
You just smile, all weak and watery. “I’d let you do anything to me.”
And then Baelor’s grip is going iron-strong as he comes, staining your vision with black spots. A ragged, animalistic sound bursts from his chest. Thick, hot warmth floods your core. Gods, it feels good to be claimed like this. To be so full of him.
When your eyes refocus, the doorway’s empty. Maybe it was a trick of the light. A figment of your fucked-out imagination. A voyeuristic ghost. Whatever it was, it’s lost to the darkness, to the song of your breath and Baelor’s mingling together against the din of crickets stridulating outside. A night breeze picks up against the windowpanes. In the distance, thunder begins to roll.
The most expensive part of the budget for making A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, was the licensing fees for the use of 'SexyBack' every time Bertie Carvel appears on screen.
-18+, uni au, bully!daeron and obsessed!daeron also, hair pulling in the beginning, p in v, ass smacking, oral f receiving, squirting, dirty talk, drunk sex on daeron's part, some softness in the end! ᥫ᭡
"look who it is," daeron's voice dripped with sarcasm as he leaned against the bookshelf beside your study carrel. "the little prodigy, buried in books as usual."
you didn't look up from your notes. "some of us actually need to study to pass our classes, daeron."
he leaned closer, scoffing, his expensive cologne overwhelming your senses. "fucking hell, do you ever relax?" he tapped the spine of your textbook with his knuckle. "you know, there's a whole world out here. parties, people...actual fun."
"i'm aware," you said dryly, finally looking up at him. "i just prefer things that don't give me a headache."
"is that what i do? give you a headache?" his eyes flickered down to your lips. "i think i could give you a lot of other things too. better things."
you rolled your eyes and before you could form a retort, his hand shot out and gave your hair a sharp tug from behind. you flinched, swatting his hand away.
"what the hell is your problem?" you hissed, rubbing your scalp.
"you are a bit of a brat, you know that?" he said, his smirk gone, replaced by something harder. "have some respect or- fucking human decency."
"maybe if you weren't such an asshole, people would actually want to talk to you," you shot back, turning back to your notes in a clear dismissal.
he lingered for a moment longer, his presence a heavy weight beside you. "yeah, yeah…okay…" he murmured before finally walking away.
the next day, you were rushing across the quad, late for your lecture, when you felt a sharp, stinging slap on your ass. you yelped and spun around to find daeron standing there with a shit-eating grin, flanked by a couple of his cronies.
"lookin’ good," he commented, his eyes openly roaming your body.
your face burned with humiliation. "what is wrong with you?"
"nothing that a night with you couldn't fix," he replied.
"you're disgusting. don't ever touch me again."
"or what?" he challenged, stepping into your path. "you'll write me a strongly-worded essay?"
you tried to shove past him, but he grabbed your arm, his grip surprisingly strong. "your boring lecture can wait. i'm talking to you."
"let go of me," you said through gritted teeth. just as you were about to knee him in the groin, he released your arm and put his hands up in surrender.
"woah, woah- no need for violence…still need these in working condition," he said, referring to his balls, you assumed, his eyes locked on yours before he walked away.
friday night found you at a crowded house party, dragged along by your roommate who swore you "needed to let loose." the music was throbbing, the air thick with the smell of cheap beer and people's different perfumes. you were regretting it within the first hour—the music was too loud, the space was too crowded, and you'd already had to dodge several unwanted advances.
you were heading for the door when you ran into daeron. literally.
"watch where you're going," he slurred, clearly drunk.
"you're the one who stumbled into me," you replied, trying to step around him.
he caught your wrist before you could slip past him, not tight but just enough to stop you.
"leaving already?" daeron asked, swaying slightly where he stood. his hair was a mess, silver strands falling into his eyes, pupils blown wide from alcohol.
"yes," you said flatly. "some of us don't enjoy being elbowed in the ribs every five minutes."
his gaze dragged over your face like he was trying to focus and failing. "you look-"
"don't," you warned.
he blinked slowly. "-like you're not having fun."
"that was almost a normal sentence."
he huffed out a laugh, then leaned closer than necessary to be heard over the music. the bass vibrated through the floorboards, through your shoes, through him. his hand was still around your wrist. you glanced down at it and he followed your gaze.
for a moment, something like clarity flickered across his face. he let go immediately, lifting both hands in exaggerated surrender. "sorry."
you adjusted your sleeve. "you're really drunk."
"nah..." he looked over your shoulder at the sea of people packed into the living room. a few girls were watching him openly, whispering to each other. one waved. he didn't wave back. his attention snapped right back to you. "i'm pretty good at- handling my liquor…i'm barely 4 drinks in."
"uh huh." you nod. then a guy bumped into you from behind, nearly knocking you forward. daeron's hand shot out on instinct, steadying you by your waist this time. his grip was firm but not wandering. protective, almost. the guy muttered a quick apology and disappeared.
daeron didn't remove his hand right away, but then he did. slowly. "you shouldn't be here," he muttered.
you stared at him. "excuse me? the one who always says i need to go out and have some fun?"
"it's packed. half the idiots here don't know how to take a hint." his jaw tightened. "i saw that guy near the kitchen earlier. wouldn't stop hovering around you."
you felt irritation flare. "i can handle myself."
"i know you can." his eyes sharpened. "doesn't mean you should have to." it made your stomach do something inconvenient.
"don't act like you care," you said, quieter now. "cause it's weird if you do, daeron."
he laughed under his breath. "i-i don't follow you around because it's funny." his gaze searched your face like he was trying to decide how much to say. "i follow you around because i—"
someone shouted his name from across the room. "daeron! shots!"
he didn't look away from you. his eyes flicked to your mouth, then back up. he looked frustrated. vulnerable. it was unfamiliar enough to make your chest tighten.
"maybe you should lay down for a second…you look a little out of it." the music throbbed. people shouted. somewhere, glass shattered and someone cheered.
"daeron," you said carefully. his name seemed to ground him. he stepped back first and raked a hand through his hair.
"go home," he said roughly. "text your roommate. don't walk alone."
you blinked. "you're the one who's drunk."
"i'll be fine."
"fine?"
a faint smile tugged at his mouth. "you worried about me?"
"no." you hesitated. then, despite yourself, you said, "h-how about i walk you back to your dorm and we both leave."
his brows lifted. "i'm fine-" and then he considered that and shrugged. "fuck, yeah, alright..."
the walk to daeron's dorm was a blur of cool night air and his hand, hot and possessive, clamped around yours. you figured you needn't snatch your hand away from his touch since he wasn't really himself in this state.
he fumbled with his key card twice before the door to his suite swung open, revealing a space that was surprisingly clean for a rich boy, dominated by a king-sized bed with a dark duvet.
you started backing toward the door again. his hand shot out to grab your arm. "w-wait- don't go yet."
"i've got things to do…clean my room," you said, pulling away. "and…you're drunk."
"so what?" he asked, stepping closer. "stay with me."
"why would i do that?"
"because i want you to," he said, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "i always want you."
you were taken aback by his honesty. "what are you talking about? you spend all your time tormenting me."
"because i don't know how else to get your attention," he admitted, his vulnerability catching you off guard. "i see you in class, in the library, walking across campus... and i can't stop thinking about you."
you stared at him, speechless. "you have a funny way of showing it," you said, your voice softer than you intended.
"i know," he admitted, his shoulders slumping. "i'm an idiot. i just... i don't know how else to get your attention." he leaned in closer.
you were speechless, your heart hammering against your ribs.
"i want to taste you," he whispered, his words slurring together. "i want to feel you, all of you. i want to bury my face between your legs and never come up for air."
his crudeness should have repulsed you, but instead, a heat pooled in your stomach. "you're just saying that because you're drunk."
"no," he insisted, his hand finding your waist and pulling you flush against him. "i'm saying it because i'm drunk enough to finally say it." his lips brushed against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "please. just...i'm obsessed with you," he continued, his words becoming more slurred. "all i can think about is your lips, your body... i want you so much it hurts."
"daeron, you're so drunk," you said, though you made no move to leave.
"i am," he agreed. "but that doesn't make it any less true."
your body responded despite your better judgment. "that's the alcohol talking. and i don't want to take advantage of you…"
"no," he insisted, "it's me talking. the alcohol just gave me the courage to say it." his lips brushed against your neck again. "please stay with me tonight."
you hesitated, torn between your common sense and the undeniable attraction you felt toward him despite everything.
"all i want is your pretty cunt wrapped around me, i want to make you cum around me till you pass out," he murmured against your skin.
"okay," you whispered.
the moment the door clicked shut, he was on you. his hands cupped your face, and he kissed you with a desperate, hungry urgency that tasted of cheap beer and a longing so profound it made your head spin. his tongue delving into your mouth as if he wanted to consume you, to memorize your taste.
"i've wanted this for so long," he panted against your lips, backing you toward the bed until the back of your knees hit the mattress and you fell back. he followed you down, his body covering yours, his weight a welcome pressure. "you have no idea."
he was clumsy in his drunkenness, his hands fumbling with the hem of your shirt before he just growled in frustration and yanked it over your head. his eyes, even hazy with alcohol, blazed with intensity as he stared at your chest.
"fuck," he breathed, his fingers tracing the lacy edge of your bra. "you're so pretty…gorgeous girl." he leaned down, his mouth hot and wet against the swell of your breast, nipping, kissing, and sucking at the skin until you were arching your back, a soft moan escaping your lips.
he made quick work of your bra and jeans, his hands roaming your body with a worshipful reverence that contradicted his earlier brutality. when you were finally bare before him, he just looked, his gaze so intense it felt like a physical touch.
"daeron," you whispered, your voice trembling with need. "your turn…"
he seemed to snap out of his trance, quickly shedding his own clothes until he was naked and kneeling between your thighs. his cock was hard and flushed, curving up toward his stomach, and the sight of it sent a jolt of pure desire through you.
but he wasn't rushing to his own pleasure. instead, he lowered himself, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your stomach, your hips, the inside of your thighs. he was worshipping you, and you were losing your mind.
"please," you begged, your hands tangling in his hair.
he looked up at you from between your legs, his eyes dark with lust. "please what? you want me to suck on your clit? or…my tongue in your pussy?…"
"please...anything..."
a slow, wicked grin spread across his face. "shhh, s'okay, i got you."
and then his mouth was on you, his tongue delving into your folds with an expertise that belied his drunken state. he ate you out like a man starved, his tongue flicking against your clit, his lips sucking, his fingers joining in to thrust inside you, curling against that spot that made you see stars. the room was filled with the wet, obscene sounds of his mouth on your cunt and your desperate cries of pleasure. "couldn't pull me off this pussy even if there were a fuckin' gun to my head…"
"daeron, oh god, daeron," you chanted, your hips bucking against his face as the pressure built to an unbearable peak. "i'm gonna... i'm gonna cum..."
he redoubled his efforts, his tongue working faster, his fingers pumping harder, until you shattered with a cry, your orgasm ripping through you with an intensity that left you breathless and trembling.
he didn't give you a moment to recover. he moved up your body, his lips crashing against yours, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. "you like that? tasting yourself? you taste so fucking good," he growled, his voice rough with desire.
he positioned himself at your entrance, his cock nudging against your still-sensitive folds. "look at me," he commanded, and you forced your eyes open to meet his. "i want to see you when i push in, babe..."
and then he was inside you, sinking into you in one slow, deep thrust that stole your breath. he stilled for a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his body trembling with the effort of holding back.
"you feel... perfect," he choked out. "so much better than i ever dreamed."
he began to move, his thrusts deep and deliberate at first, then faster, harder, driven by a desperate need. he was a mess of contradictions—his hands were gentle, stroking your hair, your face, while his hips pounded into you with a primal rhythm.
"i would jerk off in the shower to the thought of you on my face, or-or your pretty titties pressed up on me…fuck!" he growled out. his mouth was everywhere...your lips, your neck, your breasts, murmuring praises and filth in equal measure.
"you really are obsessed…" you whimper, purposefully clenching your pussy.
the effect was instantaneous. daeron's entire body went rigid, a guttural moan tearing from his throat. "don't," he gasped, his hips stuttering. "don't you fucking dare do that unless you want me to cum right now."
you did it again, a slow, deliberate squeeze that made his eyes roll back in his head. "maybe that's what i want…"
"fuck you," he laughed, a breathy, desperate sound. "no, fuck me." he pulled out suddenly, leaving you feeling achingly empty. before you could protest, he'd flipped you over onto your stomach with surprising strength. "on your knees. now."
you scrambled to comply, rising onto your hands and knees, presenting yourself to him.
"look at this perfect ass," he murmured, his hands roaming over your cheeks, squeezing and spreading them. his hand came down in a sharp, stinging smack that made you cry out.
he leaned down then, his teeth sinking into the fleshy part of your ass, a sharp bite that made you gasp.
"mine," he growled against your skin. "this is all mine."
then he was back inside you, his cock sliding home in one deep, powerful thrust that had you seeing stars. his hips slamming against your ass, his balls slapping against your clit with every stroke. the room was filled with the sounds of your bodies coming together, skin slapping against skin, your moans and cries, his grunts and filthy words.
"such a tight little cunt," he panted, his fingers digging into your hips. "made just for me, wasn't she? made to take my cock."
"yes," you sobbed, overwhelmed by the sensations. "just for you, daeron."
"who's the smart girl now?" he taunted, his hand snaking around to rub your clit. "who's the one getting fucked stupid?"
"i am," you gasped, your body trembling as a new wave of pleasure built inside you.
"damn right you are," he growled, his fingers working your clit in time with his thrusts. "and you're going to cum for me…"
the pressure was building, an intense, overwhelming sensation that was almost too much. "daeron... i can't... it's too much..."
"you can," he commanded, his voice rough with authority. "you will. give it to me. let go."
and with a final, brutal thrust, you did. you shattered with a scream, your orgasm ripping through you with an intensity that stole your breath.
"fuck yes!" daeron roared, his thrusts becoming erratic as he felt you come. "that's it..."
he continued to fuck you through your orgasm, prolonging the pleasure until you were a trembling, sobbing mess. and then, with a final, deep plunge, he came, spilling himself inside you with a shudder that wracked his entire body.
he collapsed on top of you, his weight heavy but comforting, his face buried in the crook of your neck. you could feel his heart hammering against your chest, his breath warm and ragged against your skin.
for a long time, you just lay there, tangled together in the aftermath, the only sounds in the room your slowing breaths and the distant thump of the party bass.
finally, he lifted his head, his eyes soft and vulnerable in the dim light. "stay," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "please stay tonight."
you didn't answer with words.
you just tightened your arms around him and pulled him closer, pressing a soft kiss to his sweat-dampened hair.
daeron doesn't joke when you pull him closer. he doesn't make some smug comment about how you've finally "given in." he just exhales, slow, like something in him has been braced for years and finally, finally relaxes.
"but you don't have to," he says, even though you're still holding him. "if you don't want to."
you brush your thumb along his jaw. "i know."
he swallows. now, even draped half over you, he's hyperaware of his weight, shifting slightly, making sure you're comfortable.
"i don't…" he hesitates, searching for words he's clearly never had to use. "i don't know how to not be like that."
"like what?"
"a bastard."
you huff a soft laugh. "you're not a bastard."
"i've been awful to you."
"you've been irritating."
"that's worse."
you smile, but it fades into something more honest. "you were scared."
his brows pull together. "of you?"
"of wanting something you couldn't control, i guess." that silences him because you're right.
"i don't want to go back to that," he says quietly. his thumb traces idle, absent circles at your hip. "you make me…" he exhales slowly. "calmer. and worse. and better. it's annoying."
you laugh softly. "that's almost romantic."
he studies you in the dim light like you're something precious and breakable and terrifying all at once. "just stay," he murmurs again, softer this time, not desperate. just hopeful.
I just love how it was Aerion who immediately joined his father into beating Blackfyres, like in canon. Aerion and Bloodraven wanted those bitches dead.