us against the galaxy.

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥.

[jedibetray]

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝.

private and mutually exclusive portrayal of BODE AKUNA from star wars' jedi: survivor survived by bee. a story of: being the hero of your own story, fatherhood above all else, mercenary gunslinger, how far can the hero fall, the force, watching the world burn, survival above all else verses for star wars universe as well as au universes. main verse: jedi survivor canon ish until the final fight. au ending - accepting mercy on tanalorr.

deeply affiliated with @jedilone

primarily written in the first person. see stats for basic info/bio. playlist.

RULES:

ONE . The first rule of my blogs will literally always be don’t be a dick. I don’t have time for it. You don’t have time for it. Just don’t do it.

TWO . I don't have any triggers, but if you do please let me know!! this blog will contain a boat load of triggering content including but not limited to gore, violence, and mature situations. I generally don't tag triggers unless I'm asked, but I tag things with NSFW when it needs to be.

THREE . I do practice mains and exclusives, because sometimes you just click with people and that's ok! I will follow duplicates of MY muse, but unless it's a friend, I generally won't follow duplicates of exclusive muses.

FOUR . This blog is limited to interactions with mutuals. i always follow back / follow first if i feel like we can write together. if i haven't followed you back after a few days, it probably means i won't be following back to write. for the sake of my profession (i'm a high school age educator) i will not be following back anyone younger than 21.

FOUR CONT. While i do not follow back younger than 21 because i feel icky if you're young enough to be my student, my messages are always open if you ever need anything! if you need an adultier adult to talk to about something i can always try to be that for anyone. i know how important trusted adults are.

FIVE . This blog will be mostly private. I'm here for a good time not a long time. If you want to write with me, the best way is to DM me and say yo bitch let's RP.

SIX . My name is bee. i'm 33 years old. i've been writing on tumblr for like 10 years and rping in general for over half my life. i met my significant other through rp. i am in rabbinical school and have an insane schedule. obviously i'm super busy but i love making friends!

CREDITS . graphics commissioned from 218comms. mdni banner credit to @cafekitsune.

[jedibetray]

Today my brain went - what if space based ciri

[jedibetray]

Recommend your people to me I wanna get back into the swing of things uwu

[noshirdalal]

Hi Noshir! Want to say I love Jedi Survivor and the complexity you brought to Bode. Made me love him and hate him at the same time.

But I've always wondered- do you HC that Bode knew about Cal's psychometry? The blaster he gave Cal easily could have given away his true intentions. Was Bode that skilled at keeping himself hidden away that he left no emotional imprints in general? Or did he do his research before infiltrating Cal's crew/family and knew about that ability. I realize from a story standpoint why the blaster carried no memories, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on if Bode purposely made sure to keep any emotional clues hidden from Cal.

Also want to say I absolutely love the evil laugh Bode had at the end of the game during the final fight. I loved it so much I made a video clip of it. So chilling! And a complete 180 from the Bode of the first half of the story.

Thank you for bringing Bode to life for us. ❤️

Oh man, what an insightful question. So, I don't know if this will help or not, but...

I think the web of ISB is frighteningly vast when the machinery is compelled to move accordingly. And when it comes to hunting down Jedi, it moves very well indeed. When we meet Bode, he was referred to Cal and his crew by Saw Gerrera... I think, between Bode committing to joining Cal's crew, and actually running the mission together to secure intel from Senator Sejan, there was a significant amount of time. And I think, in that time, an astonishingly large number of individuals who had met or run ops with Cal disappeared. The rendition process for enemies of the Empire would be terrifyingly efficient... and information extraction is a key skill of the ISB, from crude methods like the IT-0 Interrogation Droid to Force-Enhanced Interrogations. Slowly, a library of data was built up about Cal Kestis and his crew.

Cal doesn't really go to extreme lengths to hide his Jedi roots when he's running ops... all the ISB had to do was slowly, carefully infiltrate Saw Gerrera's resistance force and start identifying individuals who had crossed paths with Cal Kestis. Especially folks who had run with his team on missions. It would quickly become apparent what Cal's skills are, as I'm sure Saw would make certain to put them to good use. Cal's psychometry is a powerful skill for gathering intelligence... it would have become commonplace for Imperial items of value to run through Cal's hands, if only to see if there was valuable memories / events to be gleaned.

After Bode gives Cal the blaster, we still see him use dual-blasters all over the place. So... I can certainly see Bode finding a blaster, setting it aside somewhere, and then having it on-hand for that moment. It's also very possible that his time as a Jedi Knight working for Republic Intelligence gave him the training to use his Force Cloak ability to resist Force-Specific information gathering techniques. Cal's psychometry seems to often be tied to moments of powerful emotional or spiritual happenings... if he could just read anything and everything, he'd probably go crazy. There is, also, another side of this worth considering - Cal's psychological profile. Like many psychics from other stories, I'm sure Cal has developed a strong internal set of rules for when he uses his psychometry. Because if he just went around reading anything he could, I'm sure his teammates would see that as a real violation. Cal strives to embody the Jedi principles to the extreme... it may have been a safe bet for Bode that Cal would reject the chance to use his psychometry on the blaster because Bode is a friend, and he doesn't want to be eves-dropping on someone he respects and cares about.

Damn... I talk to much. Hahaha

Also, as for the laugh... honestly, I don't remember it! I'll have to look for your clip.

I will say this, though... for my personal take on it, Bode never actually intended to kill Cal. For all the crazy shit he does in that final battle, there were key moments where I left hints that Bode was still thinking rationally. When he's beating down Cal, and BD intervenes, Bode freezes for a moment, and then backhands BD out of the way. For a lot of fans, this was the moment where Bode became irredeemable. Which is funny, because for me, it was the moment he chose to spare BD. In full rage, Bode could have Force Crushed BD like a soda can. He could have grabbed BD and used him to bludgeon Cal to death. But he doesn't. He pauses for a moment, and then CHOOSES to swat BD out of the way. Why?

Bode knows that Cal is a better Jedi than he is. But more importantly... Bode has lost too much of himself to be a good dad to Kata anymore. He has fallen too far, and he knows it. When he asks Cal how far he'd go to protect Kata, Bode already knows that he's going to test him. And he knows that he will die in the process. Because that is the final test...

I think Bode, like many Jedi who were not enmeshed in Jedi Council politics, had reservations about the direction things were going. The insular, conservative nature of the Jedi Order led directly to its downfall. And there were many Jedi through those final years that had argued that things need to change... but nothing happened until it was too late. Bode truly believes that to survive in the world they are now living in, a Jedi must be willing to bend some of those rigid principles... and he pushes Cal to the breaking point. Making him so desperate and so angry, that he embraces his darker nature long enough to kill his adversary. Because, in Bode's eyes, that is exactly what Cal will need to do to keep Kata safe. And Bode will not rest until he is sure that Cal can go there.

This is super super deep BTS, but in the scene where Cal first meets Kata, Bode comes in and tells Kata that Cal is a friend. As I did so, I signed the letters O, K to Tajinae (Kata's actress). I had decided that they would have a silent form of communication because Bode would often have to say one thing out loud while needing Kata to know to do the opposite. So when Bode signs, "OK," to Kata, he's letter her know that Cal is safe to be around.

On one of the takes of Bode's final moment, Cameron shot me, and as I lay there, I reached out and signed, "O..." and then he shot me again. I was dying, and in that moment Bode silently tries to let Cal know, "It's okay." Because this is what Bode needed. And the only way he was going to be allowed to let Kata go, was through the actions of his best friend.

[flammabel]

Thank you so much for your time, Noshir, and for such a deep, insightful answer. ❤️ I really love how much thought you've put into Bode's character and the little things, like signing, that add to the overall depth.

[beskad]

[animatedjen]

#when he won't go to Tanalorr first to make sure it's safe before the others join >:[

[jedibetray]

❛ i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here. ❜

every time we’re sitting here, the two of us and all of the emotions we’ve packed between us, i realize that i’ve created a bigger rift than all of the possibilities present flying through the kohboh abyss.  i can feel it when he looks at me, his green eyes once so vibrant with care now dying down into a muted forest.  maybe if i can get his eyes to be vibrant again… who am i kidding, i don’t deserve to see their vibrancy.

“ scrapper. . . ”  i can see merrin and kata out of the corner of my eyes.  kata has been avoiding me, but she’s safe.  safe in the heart of tanalorr, holding the hand of someone i realize now i trust more than i do myself.  i’m too much of a coward to leave them – the three of them being the family i could never provide kata on my own.  funny: this is all tayala wanted for her.  people who love her surrounding her.  all it takes is everyone hating me.

my broken jetpack sits on the workbench a distance away from us, my saber laying next to it as if protecting something unseen.  maybe it’s some fucked up metaphor about how i can’t leave here if i tried, the weight of the force dragging me back into the grasp of my… of this family.  I wish the words i’m sorry would make sense here.  but they don’t.  we both know i’m not.  the weight of my decisions may sit on me now, but if i was given a choice i would make the exact same ones again.

for her i would do anything.

i feel my weight shift as i press myself to stand, arms crossed over my chest to once again close myself off.     “ i’m gonna go look on the ship for a… ”     the truth is i was going to just go sit on the mantis in silence not shared with him, and i couldn’t come up with a good enough lie for the one i built there.  so i just shrug, nodding to merrin and kata across the way.     “  you don’t have to be alone.  they’re right there. ”

[jedibetray]

** IMPORTANT INFO RE: BODE AKUNA

a study in. being the hero of your own story, fatherhood above all else, mercenary gunslinger, how far can the hero fall, the force, watching the world burn, survival above all else, quiet strength, determination, order and control cover a seething inner world, sensuality and self control, the mystery of the material world 

full name. bode akuna also known as. jetpack date of birth. 52 BBY age. 43 at time of Jedi: Survivor canon zodiac. scorpio sun / taurus moon / scorpio rising gender. male pronouns. he / him romantic orientation. panromantic sexual orientation. pansexual occupation. jedi knight (former) imperial spy (current) species. human current home. the stinger mantis / the isb post in the nova garon system language(s). completely fluent in galactic basic standard, but part of his training included a basic understanding of most languages he would encounter. while he says in the game he doesn't speak binary, he actually does. significant others. tayala akuna (wife, deceased), cal kestis (partner - @jedilone) children.  kata akuna (daughter) faceclaim.  hair. black + short eyes. brown height. 6 ft 5 in build. basically a wall of muscle dominant hand. right scars. a prominent scar on his left upper arm from a lightsaber, two gunshot wounds on his stomach, another lightsaber wound above those gunshot wounds, various scars on his back from entry into the republic intelligence core tattoo.  "T.A. + K.A." on the front of his left thigh (more to come) piercings. none. positive traits. resourceful, powerful, brave, passionate, a true friend, problem solving, cautious, focused negative traits. distrusting, jealous, manipulative, violent, withdrawn likes. truth, facts, being right, talents, teasing, passion dislike. dishonesty, revealing secrets, superficiality, small talk fears & phobias. losing stability, losing kata wishes & dreams.  mbti. ISTJ - The Logistician moral alignment. neutral evil enneagram type. type 6w5 - the guardian

biography.

nothing much matters in bode akuna's story until shortly after his 20th birthday, because jedi padawan simply don't matter much. the day he became a jedi knight; that's the day his story began.

it began in the room of the high council, kneeling before his master as he was knighted before any who matter. he'd been training in hopes to find himself in combat somewhere: after all, that is what he's expected to do. fight. protect. what could possibly be the point of anything else?

infiltration. he'd heard the word then, still kneeling before the council. a shudder ran up along his spine that forced his head up. you'll report to the republic intelligence troops beginning tomorrow. few jedi were ever asked to report to republic intelligence. he should have felt honored, but all he felt at the time was a looming sense of dread.

as a spy for the republic, he reported directly to lank denvik. his work ranged from easy intelligence missions, to covert secret operations that existed on a need to know basis. because of this, his status as a jedi was kept mostly a secret among the halls of the greater community. it also meant that long before the purge, bode knew that order 66 was going to be the death of them all.

when the order for the purge went through, bode used every skill he'd ever learned to run as far and as fast as he could. he ditched his lightsaber for a pair of blasters and hid himself away in hopes that he could simply begin to blend into the crowd. two years after the purge, he found himself of birren -- the home planet of his soon to be wife tayala. the pair have a daughter, kata, and for a couple of years life is good. simple, and good.

kata is three when the inquisitors come. tayala knew his past; she knew that one day he may have to run fast and run hard. they'd promised each other they'd run together, but that never came to pass. rather than letting her husband face a brutal death, tayala sacrificed herself so bode could escape with kata in tow. the pair run fast and run hard with bode offering himself as a mercenary for hire in the deep recesses of the galaxy.

it could stay that way. not for kata's sake. she deserved better. even if that meant making a deal with a devil. you know what they say about the devil you know...

lank denvik had found himself a role as an officer in the imperial security bureau, which bode had found out through a close source. he offered himself to denvik, showing up with kata and looking for sanctuary. the job is his and kata is safe as long as he stays useful. she has toys, she has food, she has shelter. (tayala would furious with him, but he tells himself he's doing what's best for their little girl.) it seems he could do this for now: and then the stinger mantis crew and specifically jedi cal kestis reach the isb radar.

infiltrate the crew. find out what kestis is doing. (fall in love? certainly not in the plan.) locate anything else of interest. and when that thing of interest became a way to get kata to safety far away from the reach of imperial forces? well -- there's nothing more dangerous than a man who stop at nothing to protect his daughter.

NOTES:

the canon of jedi survivor fits in here to a certain extent. bode DOES relay information to denvik as he gets it because of the threat to kata's life, and he DOES lead the imperial forces and vader to jedha after locating the compass.

however, bode does NOT kill cordova. he doesn't stop cordova's death from happening, but he is not the one to actively do it. the only lives he takes in the fight at jedha are the ones in his way from getting the hell out of the base and getting back to nova garon.

when cal offers bode mercy on tanalorr, he takes it. he knows this is the only option where he's still alive to care for kata, but even more importantly, he knows that he's pushed cal too far into the darkside. he knows that taking his life would eventually destroy cal kestis. he never wanted to fall in love with him, but life had other plans. while earning back trust and forgiveness from cal, merrin, and honestly kata, bode stays on tanalorr or joins merrin looking for other force sensitives to bring them to tanalorr.

my main canon will take place either during the events of survivor, or in this time frame on tanalorr.

[jedibetray]

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥. bode akuna of jedi: survivor. survived by bee. 21+.

[soulprompts]

𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

basically i was looking over the protective prompts and the hero prompts and it hit me that like. the unbridled angst and vibes of the whole “post-battle” scene, or a scene set after an attack or a disaster or smth, needs to be ADDRESSED!!! and so y’all get the full weight of my angst today, sprinkled with a lot of teamwork and selfless and sacrificing vibes. i hope you enjoy! do NOT add further contributions to this list!!! i will curse your potato crops!!!

DIALOGUE PROMPTS.

“ can you hear me? hey… [NAME], can you hear my voice? “

“ come on… wake up. please… please wake up… “

“ oh! oh, thank god! i thought we lost you… “

“ hey, hey… look at me, okay? you gotta get up now. you think you might be able to walk? ‘cause they sent for back-up, and if they find us… we cannot let them find us. understand? “

“ go, go! save yourself! i’ll buy you some time! “

“ we both know i’m not walking out of this one. it’s okay, alright? it’s okay… just… do me a favor, will you? will you make them pay for this? i don’t care how. but… don’t let them get away with it. “

“ hey, how badly are you hurt? can you move? you think you can walk? “

“ if you can’t walk, i’m gonna have to carry you, alright? we can’t stay here. “

“ hey, look at me. i’m slowing you down, we both know it. it’s okay. i’ll hide and wait for back-up; you get yourself out of here. “

“ you’re gonna need to climb up on my back, you’re slowing us down with that injury. “

“ will you quit talking like that?! i’m not leaving you behind! “

“ what the hell are you doing here?! i told you to get out of here! “

“ you’re shivering… hey. hey, listen to me, okay? everything’s gonna be alright, i promise. here… take my jacket. don’t worry, i’m warm-blooded. “

“ i’ll get blood on your shirt… “

“ hey, don’t you dare close your eyes, you hear me? you die in my arms, and i’m gonna stick the dry-cleaning bill for this shirt in your coffin, that’s a promise! “

“ i know we almost died just now, but… am i the only one who’s hungry? “

“ we need to get you to a hospital… “

“ hey, come on now… you’re okay. you’re good, right? “

“ i must be hurt pretty bad if you’re being this nice to me. “

“ quit playing the martyr. we’re not leaving you behind. “

“ you know, i hate to be the negative voice, but… did… did we just lose? “

“ look at me… i’m not gonna make it. it’s okay, i’m fine with that. but… you can’t stay here. you’ve got a good long life ahead of you. and you’re smart, too; too smart to wait around here and waste that long life. so you get out of here, and you go live that life. live it for both of us. will you promise me you’ll do that? “

“ back-up isn’t coming. is it? we’re on our own, right? “

“ can’t sleep, huh? it’s okay. it’s probably all that adrenaline and shock; i can’t sleep, either. wanna keep each other company? “

“ i don’t give two shits about the back-up; i’m just happy you’re alive. “

ACTION PROMPTS.

as always, add a “+ REVERSE” to switch the roles!

[ CARRY ]:     having found the receiver in an injured/weak/unconscious state, the sender carries them in their arms to safety.

[ TILT ]:     the sender gently tilts the receiver’s chin up so that they can check to see if they’re okay.

[ PULL ]:     sender takes the fallen receiver’s hands and carefully pulls them up so that they’re standing once more.

[ WAIST ]:     sender, while physically supporting and steadying the receiver, loops an arm around their waist for extra support.

[ BACK ]:     sender crouches down slightly to let the wounded receiver climb on their back, giving them a piggy-back ride to safety afterwards.

[ HAIR ]:     while in the process of checking the receiver for injuries or other signs of harm, the sender gently brushes several strands of hair from their eyes.

[ TEND ]:     sender begins to care for the receiver’s injuries.

[ LEAN ]:     the wounded sender leans against the receiver for physical support.

[ SUPPORT ]:     the sender encourages the wounded receiver to lean against them for physical support.

[ PUSH ]:     the sender gently pushes the receiver back to lie down so they can check them properly for injuries.

[ COAT ]:     sender removes their jacket and drapes it around the shoulders of the trembling receiver.

[ BLANKET ]:     just as they’re all about to go to sleep, the sender covers the receiver with their own blanket.

[ AWAKE ]:     the sender, unable to sleep, gets up to go for a walk, and finds that the receiver is also unable to sleep.

[ TOGETHER ]:     when the receiver awakens, they discover that the sender has been sleeping next to them, arms wrapped around one another for warmth, comfort, protection ( or something more… )

[ BANDAGE ]:     the sender sits down across from the receiver and begins to bandage their wounds.

[ DRAG ]:     unable to leave them behind, the sender drags the wounded receiver out of danger and into a safe hiding place for both of them to wait until help arrives.

[ TOUCH ]:     the sender nudges or touches the receiver to check and see if they’re alright after the attack.

[ CLEAN ]:     the sender gently and carefully begins to bathe the blood/soot/ash/dirt from the receiver’s skin during a moment of calm.

[ PRIORITY ]:     when they arrive at a designated safe place, the sender refuses to be examined or cared for until the receiver is taken care of first.

[ PROMISE ]:     before leaving to get help/food/water/a rescue mission etc, the sender assures and promises the receiver that they’ll return safely, refusing to bring them along or to stay behind.

[ BROKEN ]:     after having promised the receiver that they’d return, it’s learned that the sender died during their mission. how does the receiver respond?

[ TRAPPED ]:     after having promised the receiver that they’d return from a mission, the receiver learns that the sender has been kidnapped or otherwise trapped, requiring a rescue mission to bring them home.

[ RESCUE ]:     the sender and receiver reunite after the sender embarked upon an infamously perilous rescue mission to save the receiver.

[ FOUND ]:     after a massive rescue mission to try and find the missing receiver, the sender is the first to find them just as the efforts are about to be abandoned.

[ HOPE ]:     just as the receiver is about to lose hope in ever finding the sender again, a message or clue of some kind is discovered that essentially guarantees that the sender is still alive, restoring the receiver’s hope once more.

[ CLING ]:     having finally been reunited, the sender pulls the receiver into a tight, overwhelmingly relieved embrace, clinging to them and burying their face in their shoulder. the whole deal. make it EMOTIONAL–

[ TEARS ]:     having finally found the receiver, or having finally been found by the receiver, the sender breaks down in tears of relief, fear, and many other emotions as they officially reunite.

[ SACRIFICE ]:     knowing that the circumstances only allow one of them to survive, the sender sacrifices their life in order to guarantee the receiver’s survival and safety.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑻𝑾𝑶 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  act natural.  ❜ ❛  be careful.  ❜ ❛  but why?  ❜ ❛  calm down.  ❜ ❛  come here.  ❜ ❛  do you?  ❜ ❛  don't ask.  ❜ ❛  don't cry.  ❜ ❛  don't go.  ❜ ❛  don't move.  ❜ ❛  for what?  ❜ ❛  good idea.  ❜ ❛  guess what?  ❜ ❛  hurry up.  ❜ ❛  i forgot.  ❜ ❛  it's nothing.  ❜ ❛  join me.  ❜ ❛  keep quiet.  ❜ ❛  leave it.  ❜ ❛  let's go.  ❜ ❛  not bad.  ❜ ❛  not now.  ❜ ❛  now what?  ❜ ❛  shut up.  ❜ ❛  take care.  ❜ ❛  take this.  ❜ ❛  that's impossible.  ❜ ❛  then when?  ❜ ❛  think quickly.  ❜ ❛  time's up.  ❜ ❛  try me.  ❜ ❛  wake up.  ❜ ❛  watch out!  ❜ ❛  well done.  ❜ ❛  what happened?  ❜ ❛  what now?  ❜ ❛  who knows?  ❜ ❛  why me?  ❜ ❛  your turn.  ❜ ❛  you're wrong.  ❜

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

[jedibetray]

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥. bode akuna of jedi: survivor. survived by bee. 21+. ©

[jedibetray]

and if i am influenced by @jedilone and revive my boy?

[str1ga]

WE ARE POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AND WITHOUT REGRET.

vampire multimuse. bitten by bee. 21+ only.

[str1ga]

WE ARE POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AND WITHOUT REGRET.

vampire multimuse. bitten by bee. 21+ only.

[jedibetray]

OK.... ill finish the vamp multi today