binoculars

ooops! there goes my cover.. Jay's the name and read through my blog like you're looking trough your window pane.

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Are you having fun spreading rumors about me? Stuff only you and I know? Yeah. Shut it!

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scrap

oh how i miss school...

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I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted just like that, and it didn't mean anything? What then?

Neil Gaiman, Coraline

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What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction

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Friday Madness

A page in my journal I'd share to the world. I'm sorry. I can't stand being around plastics and users. I'd rather be alone on my birthday.

I guess, the difference between this year and last year was that more people actually remembered it was my birthday last year. This year, only from unexpected people :)

Woke up around 10am, cleaned the empty house. Had corned beef and rice for my brunch, and had the whole afternoon for myself. I went to church, still alone and sat on a nearby tea shop after having a short conversation with God.

Dinner time, I was ready to go home, still alone. But then I decided to walk the streets of Manila. Talking to myself. Thanking the people who actually remembered.

2am I was on my way home, when everyone was asleep and tired form their work I was sitting in the couch. Thinking of how much more ordinary the day could have been. Then fell asleep in the warm couch...Not thinking of how the day has been..

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**Song keeps playing in my head every time before I go to sleep...

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Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.  ~Anais Nin

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But you didn't have to cut me off. Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing. I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough. No, you didn't have to stoop so low. Have your friends collect your records and then change your number. Guess that I don't need that though.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

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The wheel's out. It's our turn to move. It's my turn to drive.

Fifteen days. It's been 15 days since I considered myself a student. Yes, I know I'm a bum for not trying to look for a job but trust me, I'm in no hurry at all. I want to take this time to breathe. Be free. Take this chance to absorb it all. I mean, it would be a whole new experience for me and I don't want to end up having the guilt of not having to rest before I sulk myself into something I'm not really happy with.

I had an interview in this huge private clothing company in the country and the boss asked me if it's really what I wanted. That question was a sure hit.

She read in my essay that I'm the complete opposite of my work, and compared to my hobbies, well, the work of a computer engineer really is boring.

It got me thinking, "Was this really the right thing for me to do?". But then I was in the middle of the interview so I had no time to reflect on myself. All I knew was that it was the question I always had in my heart. Was I happy with what I was doing.

The question might have been to late in my life but yes, I admit. I wasn't all happy.

In my defense I told her in a single line, "I'll just learn to love my job like the way I did when I was in school." She was startled and puzzled at the same time. After that, she shook my hand and asked if I was available for another exam (I already took 5 exams before having 3 interviews).

Maybe she was startled because she would have never thought that I would have survived something I didn't like for a long time. I don't blame her. She doesn't know my resolve. She doesn't know me personally.

That' just who I am. I mean, even if I don't like to do things at first, even if it's against my will, if it makes other people happy, then I'll stay with their decision. I'll finish it and try to learn to love it along the way. That's the kind of person I was, but now, I won't let myself be pushed around.

Ten days. 10 days from now I'm half the way of my expected life. I want to do things in my own will. I want to decide which path I'll go. This time, I'll drive...

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Of blue skies and rainbow flies

We did it!

By we, I mean me. We did it right off the hat! It might have taken a little longer than expected but still, here it goes. I know I'm not the best student around but hey, I'm proud to say that I kept on fighting and in the end won the battle \o/

They say every hero needs a sidekick, well this hero would rather call it a partner. Thanks to my lifetime partners (friends and family). The comic story of my school life has yet ended. I still can go to school whenever I like, but this chapter was worth reading over and over.

To everyone else who's having a hard time and feels like giving up, just remember of blue skies and rainbow flies. Think of chasing the impossible, and bathe yourself in sunshine while you're at it. It may sound foolish, but everything has to start with dreaming of the impossible, right?

This is all happening way too fast, I just wish to enjoy every moment while it lasts. Sunday it is! I'm so excited and sad at the same time...

...See you! And may I at least for the last time be on time :p

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Hi tumblr. I would just like to inform you that I'm still alive, and better. :)

*photo taken yesterday :)

[undeadlife]

[foxintwilight]

[annieareuok]

:’)

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ako na walang magawa.hahahaha

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I sent a postcard to you my friend. Have you received it? I wonder what date is it now my friend, have you taken note of it? I forgot how it all began my friend, can you remind me? I lost track of myself my friend, can you help me?

I took a breathe. A deep hard breathe.

Engulfed myself in madness, deep hard madness.

I wait at the end,waiting for your sign,but no matter where I go your words still echo in my mind.

STOP. 

I remember.

I sent a postcard to you my friend. Have you received it? I wonder what date is it now my friend, have you taken note of it? I forgot how it all began my friend, can you remind me? I lost track of myself my friend, have you found yourself while I'm not near you?

~

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But all you are is mean! All you are is mean,and a liar,and pathetic,and alone in life.

And mean,and mean,and mean,and mean,and mean!