[~~**untitled.

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[plantanarchy]

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

[nihilistwife]

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

[plantanarchy]

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

[nihilistwife]

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

[booksandchainmail]

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

[gobusto]

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

[computationalcalculator]

[starrynet]

words to live by

[ilywtf]

>settings

>world settings

>set to "your oyster"

[goldensunset]

>‘this thing is too generic and tropey’

>look inside

>forefather of that genre

[firestorm09890]

[frankbelloriley]

[undeadhousewife]

[chungledown-bimothy]

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

[drtrinitysantos]

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[dogpuppy]

[recklessmoss]

WEEE!! WEEEE!!! WEEE!!! YAYYY!! YIPPIE! WAHOO! AWAWAWA!!! WEE WEE WAA WAA WAA! ZWEEM !! BABABABA! YAHOOO WEE YAY WYEE !! WEWEWEE!!

[shithowdy]

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

[shithowdy]

loon :)

[shithowdy]

i painted my loon :)

[molabuddy]

really specific trope i like that i feel like can only be explained in a diagram

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[divorce-enjoyer]

why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw

[divorce-enjoyer]

the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT

[decompositie]

[souplover13]

image:

Kurt Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope: "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I'll ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is - we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it's like we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

end ID.

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[byjove]

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time