“Do you want me to leave?”
Logan heaved a sigh, then turned around to face the figure that had made itself at home on his bed.
“I would say yes, but if I did, I do not believe you would actually leave, would you?”
“Nope!” Remus replied, popping the p.
Logan rubbed his temples with one hand. “Insufferable.”
“Thank you!” Remus kicked his legs over his head, and watched as Logan glared down at him with distaste.
“Can’t you go bother Roman for a while? I have work that I must complete in order for Thomas to maintain a healthy lifestyle.”
“Health? That’s bullshit! Literal bull shit! A bull probably ate-”
Logan didn’t particularly wish to endure the remainder of Remus’s ramblings, so he sat back down at his desk, and tuned Remus out. He pulled out three of Thomas’s files, and began searching through them.
A minute or two passed that were relatively peaceful, until a drop of some kind of red substance landed on a piece of paper. Logan turned around to face Remus again.
“Don’t you want to know what that was?” Remus was now sitting on top of Logan’s chest of drawers, his legs swinging wildly, with the same substance oozing from his mouth.
“I do not, but I assume you will tell me nonetheless?”
Remus frowned. “Well, now I won’t, since you’re being mean about it.”
“Is there a reason that you are in here?”
Remus grinned again, and flipped around so he was hanging off of the drawers by his legs. “Not at all! I don’’t even want to be here, you’re so boring all the time!”
Logan stared up at Remus, accepting his fate. “Fine.” He turned around and started working again.
“C’mon, Logan, you can’t ignore me forever!”
“I can, and I will,” finally came Logan’s response.
“Aha! But alas, you have spoken to me now! Checkmate!”
“Alright, nerdy turd, I think I know how to get to you.”
“Do you?” Logan answered in a flat, bored voice.
Remus nodded, and in all seriousness said, “The Grand Canyon was made because a gigantic snake dove- dived- droved- detachment- drived its head into the ground and slithered its way all the way to New York! Then it died and it’s remains are the Grand Canyon!”
Logan finally turned around to Remus, who was now latched onto the ceiling fan.
“There are many corrections I can make with that story. Firstly, the correct verb you were searching for would be ‘drove’. Secondly-”
“I wonder if Deceit knows that snake.” Remus let go of the ceiling fan, and landed on Logan’s bed.
Logan groaned. “Please leave?”
“Not a chance, underpants!”
“Okay. Since you insist upon staying, would you like to participate in social activities-” Remus’s eyes lit up, and he opened his mouth to suggest activities. “-that do not involve murder, sexual experiences, harming somebody, or other destructive habits?” Remus shut his mouth again.
“You take the fun out of everything.”
“Splendid. Now, would you rather play Clue or-”
“If we play Clue can I reenact the murder scenes with ketchup and stick figures made of human flesh?” Remus looked up at Logan with hopeful eyes.
Logan thought for a moment. “Not newly acquired, I assume?”
“Nah, made from my collection from all the times Roman skinned his knees.”
“I suppose so, if nothing else is able to entertain you.”
And so they played board games all through the night.
2087
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