October 6th was our second date. Today’s the 17th, and after some time to reflect… I’ll be honest I walked away disappointed.
Let’s rewind a bit. On our first date, we had one of those long, intentional conversations the kind where you ask the “real” questions. Politics, religion, past relationships, emotional maturity, values all the things most people try to dodge early on. I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time, including my own. I’m moving intentionally these days, and I needed to make sure we were on the same page.
And surprisingly, we were. We aligned on almost everything. He seemed genuine, creative, thoughtful a painter with dreams and depth.lets call him Art.
So we planned a second date. He’s sweet, and I tried to check myself because sometimes I wonder if I’m self sabotaging when I don’t feel instant sparks. I’m not someone who falls quickly unless, for some reason, there’s that instant pull like I once felt with someone else (that’s another story).
We went out for Thai food the kind of cozy little spot where you can sit outside and talk for hours. I was quieter than usual, which isn’t like me. Maybe my social battery was running low, or maybe something in me just felt off. Still, the conversation flowed. He talked more, I listened. It was easy.
After dinner, we grabbed ice cream at this cute place called Novel. I got honey lavender 10/10 recommend. We talked about family, passions, cleanliness (randomly), and life at home. I told him I’m pretty tidy not OCD, but I like things in order. He admitted he wasn’t as neat, then casually invited me to check out his place if I wanted to.
I hesitated, but I went. Mostly out of curiosity, not interest. I knew my own boundaries, and I wasn’t going to cross them.
His place was exactly what you’d expect from an artist: canvases everywhere, brushes in cups, paint stains on the tables, and half finished pieces leaning against the walls. It was messy, but beautiful in that chaotic, creative way.
Then he tried to kiss me.
He took it well, which I appreciated. But when I got home later that night, it didn’t sit right with me. Because we’d already had that conversation about wanting to take things slow, about being intentional And to me, a kiss is intimate. Especially that early on.
Maybe he didn’t think kissing fell under “taking things slow.” Maybe he saw it as harmless But I didn’t. It felt rushed. Like the moment we crossed that line, the meaning behind “getting to know each other” would fade.
The more I thought about it, the more icked out I felt. Because it made me question were you listening to me? Or were you just waiting for the right moment to touch me?
I know some people would say I’m overthinking it But when you’ve learned to value your peace and your pace, anything that threatens that feels like a red flag.
So, I didn’t text him again. I didn’t explain. Maybe that makes me part of the problem, but honestly… I don’t think everything deserves a formal ending. We went on two dates. That’s it. Sometimes silence says enough.
It’s not bitterness. It’s clarity.
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
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