Life update, I’m finally medicated and I leave on a month long trip to the UK in like a week. Teenage me who use to use this app as her anonymous escape forgot that I can write about this here. I’m so scared to go on this trip. I’ve never gone on a solo trip out of the country before. My first time in New York I was alone and then I moved there without ever knowing anyone. So now that I’m back in my home city and I’ve learned to have a life here after hating this place so much, it’s so scary to do this all over again. I’ve grown comfortable in this life I learned to forcefully accept. If became something that now I’m having trouble leaving again. But I NEED to do this because I have to remind myself I don’t want to live here. So it’s time to see what else is out there. I could end up finding a way to finally move to a different country like I’ve said I’ve always wanted to do. If the UK doesn’t feel like the place I need to be then I’m trying New Zealand. And if that also seems like it’s not working out then I’m not sure. But I’m actually in a place in life where I don’t hate my current job but it’s also not a typical career I feel tied to. I’m experiencing the life that teen me who used to be on here talking about how badly I wanted to do these things is getting to live out who she’s always wanted to be now as an adult. I’m finally healing and it’s odd to finally be in a place that isn’t just my depression. I finally have ambition again.
