Letter to My Sons
Dear sons,
You wandered into the room today and I turned the TV off. Â The blank screen was a better alternative to having you see another black citizen killed by a police officer or a deranged sniper picking off cops in Dallas. Â Iâd rather you not live in fear that a terrorist will claim our lives while we are out living them. Â I donât want you to see the way our presidential candidates are lying to scare people or using seemingly illegitimate means to land the most powerful position in our country. Â
But these things are happening all around us. Â Maybe I can explain some of it so that your clean hands, unsoiled moral compasses, your unfettered imaginations and loving, open hearts can get to work on finding the answers from which our cynicism and fear keep us.
You know how many of your stories have good guys and bad guys? Â And that the good guys always win? Â Well, in real life it is not always easy to figure out who is bad and who is good. Â Most people are both. Â Sometimes good people make bad choices. Â And even people who make a lot of bad choices may still have some good in them. Â In real life everyone has a story of their own; we donât know that story unless we make a point of learning it. Â It would be easier if every person was either good or bad, but that is not the way life works.
Right now, many people are scared and angry. Â They have problems that are too big for them to solve on their own. Â When you have a problem that you canât solve, what do you do? Â Ask for help? Â Well, these people donât feel like there is anyone that is willing to help them. Â And so their problems go unsolved and get worse. Â They get angry and frustrated because they are not getting the help they need. Â
When anger builds up inside, people feel the need to direct it somewhere. Â So they decide that the problem is someoneâs fault. Â While that does not solve anything, it makes them feel better to think that a particular group of people is to blame. Once they decide that a group of people is bad, they can feel okay about treating them badly.
If this is happening over and over again, how many problems do you think actually get solved? Â Not many. Â People who are angry sometimes have a hard time listening to each other. Â And if you canât listen, it is hard to find answers to problems.
I donât want you to watch the news. Â But I do want you to remember every day that every human being has a story and that each of us is both good and bad. Â I want you to look at this world and know in your hearts that you can change it. The world needs what youâve been learning since your earliest days. Â The lessons of sharing, compromise and compassion that have helped you make friends; understanding your impact on the lives around you and knowing that you can accomplish so much more when you work as a team â those lessons will prepare you to mend what weâve broken over many generations. Â In the meantime, I hope that this worldâs grown-ups can reclaim the hopefulness, cooperation and sense of community that can foster our healing as a nation.
Love to you always~ Mom









