i drove very far yesterday and today for family things, which is fine, but traffic makes me go 🤬
i was almost home and finally hit a bad patch and wanted to yeet myself into a field.
instead, i start saying Hail Marys (to focus on something else besides frustration), and after a few, a car in front of me, the driver put their hand out of their window with a swish, to enjoy the breeze, and i went "oh ya, it's ok to just exist in this right now."
it is a silly little thing, obviously, and not at all related to anything, but it helped. and combined with already praying to Our Lady, it helped.
i am not sure if i want to fully commit to the Catholic Church this season (classes start in September), but i am leaning that way. coming from trying to get back to the LDS church, finding it lacking after a quick stint, finding so much information to show me it's not true, i'm not sure i'm ready for another commitment just yet.
but i will continue trying to pray, continue reading the daily readings, and go to Mass (sometimes), and feel my way through. but i also know i'm easily convinced by religion (hence being LDS), and don't want to make a mistake. but i have prayed more in the last two months than i ever have in my life before, just from trying to learn the Rosary prayers and saying them when i need some peace. that has to mean something, right?