A few weeks ago, my spouse attended a homeowner association (HOA) meeting, had trouble sleeping for the next two nights, then decided to run for the board. This is a draft of the statement he will not be submitting, which is an obvious shame.
I am pleased to announce my candidacy for a Homeowner Association Board seat. As a dedicated resident and homeowner, I am excited for the opportunity to serve this growing community as we continue to make this a great place to live.
The worst thing we could do to our new neighborhood is become a place where complicated, tiresome rules are passed to maintain a fictionalized version of how people are supposed to act in a neighborhood. Micromanaging people’s lives about immaterial things like where and when they are allowed to put their trash and recycling receptacles is a foolish endeavor that inevitably creates a venue for personal vendettas. Further, these types of lifestyle-based rules are inherently racist and classist, as they try to uphold a standard that is predominantly white and affluent.
As your board member, I promise to work tirelessly to keep this sort of nonsense out of our neighborhood. The HOA exists to serve its members. It does not do this by letting vocal minorities find ways to penalize people who do things that they simply don’t like.
In pursuit of this, I pledge to pass no community rules unless the overwhelming majority of residents want and agree to them. I pledge to ensure that the city is the one to enforce rules that already apply to everyone, such as parking on sidewalks, overnight parking, parking on streets that don’t allow parking, being a loud nuisance, or other crimes that are already crimes. Remember, we are all paying [an exorbitant amount] in property taxes already; let’s use those services we pay for.
In conclusion, you should barely even realize that the HOA exists.
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