Choices

We all have to make them.

[jerrickg]

Be Better

Choose to be a better person. Life sucks. Life is shitty. Life will hurt. Do not allow yourself to use that as an excuse to be miserable. Do not let a shitty life turn you into a shitty person. Do not use chemicals to escape from the pain. It’s not a real escape. Your “escape” only transfers pain to the people around you.

I don’t give a shit if you drink, smoke, or use in anyway. It can be fun, and different and very enjoyable, but it’s not an escape. You are incapable of treating the people you love in the way they deserve when you use to escape. You turn into something that not even you want to be. You will hurt people in ways you can’t imagine. You will no longer be able to make the choices you want and need to make to be a better human.

Choose to be better. Choose to be present. Choose to be happy.

For you and for everyone else. Be better.

[jerrickg]

To Care

Choose to give a shit. We all go through terrible things in our lives. It manifests in different ways for different people, but in the end, it’s terrible. It hurts, it drowns, it makes you feel alone.

Maybe you think that people shouldn’t be hurt or upset about the silly little things. Maybe you want to say, “It could be worse”. But does it matter? Couldn’t it be worse for all of us? What matters is the pain. The emotion that’s felt is very real. Nothing else matters.

So this is what I’m thinking. Give a shit about your sisters and brothers. Care about their pain, regardless of the differences, regardless of the pride, care about them. Wouldn’t you want the same? Shouldn’t you want the same? To be cared about? To know we matter to someone? I know I do.

Choose to give a shit.

[jerrickg]

The Little Ones

Sitting in a coffee shop waiting for a friend and a I realize more and more that life is what you make of it. I could choose what I would normally choose and anxiously look over my shoulder at the door, watching for her to come in. Sit uncomfortably, awkwardly, and most of all drowned in boredom, waiting for my night to begin. And by doing so, put my entire evening in the hands of another person. But, as always, I have a choice. So instead, I choose to write this out on my phone, enjoy my Chai, and listen to the super chill coffee shop music playing in the background. The atmosphere is nice, the chair is comfortable, and the building is air conditioned. The air conditioning is fantastic by the way; it’s basically a million degrees outside.

If my friend doesn’t show up, I’ll still have a good night. I’ll still have a meaningful, enjoyable moment to myself, because it’s what I choose. And even as she sits down across from me, I know that my night would have brought me happiness. It would have simply been a different experience that led me there. That simple moment to myself, or a moment with a wonderful person will lead me to the same destination, a happy me.

I know reading this seems silly, I really do, but the point is this: No matter how simple or small the choice seems, it matters. You have to think about every decision you make, no matter how insignificant it feels. How you respond to every moment of every day will affect every aspect of your life. It’s not something you only need to do in those so-called life changing moments. Every decision large or small will affect your life in real ways.

You have the control. You have the power. It’s about taking it one moment at a time and never letting your guard down. Because if you do, the negative thoughts will be waiting, and they will creep right back in. It’s up to you to push them away. I choose to find happiness in the small moments.

I hope you do too.

[jerrickg]

The Filter

Every day we are given an incredible amount of opportunities to choose our own path in life. We are able to choose what we say and do, how we react to situations, if we are going to internalize the awful things we see on the news, or if we want to let go of the things that hurt us. These decisions don’t come easily and sometimes they can feel down-right impossible to make, but they are our decisions to make.

For me personally, I’ve decided to make the conscious choice of seeing life in a different light. I’ve chosen to open my eyes to the wonderful things out there and not allow my mind to dwell on the negative.

Before I dive into this, I want to make something perfectly clear. Looking at things in a positive light will not magically give you everything you’ve ever wanted. I’ve read and heard many people talk about how being positive will give us all those things we’ve missed out on. That’s simply not how life works. There should always be a healthy amount of realism in the way you see things. Don’t blind yourselves to what happens in life, hide from painful experiences, or ignore the plight of your brothers and sisters. Life will always provide challenges; there will always be times of disappointment and pain. These things are inherent to the human experience. However, this is where our ability to choose comes into play. You can choose to focus on the pain and allow the darkness a place to call home in your mind, or you can choose to keep hope and happiness in your world. Again, this does not change the reality of world we live in, but it does change how we perceive it, which is our personal reality.

Our life experiences up until this very moment dictate how we view everything. From the mundane day to day (Work, school and everything in-between) to the most important moments of life (Love, loss, and your personal purpose). Our past plays a role in all aspects of our world.

If, like me, your life has been full of pain and challenges, disappointment and longing, sadness and fear, then you probably have a filter on the lens that you experience the world through. The filter will apply to every situation forcing you to see everything with the pain of your past. You might, for example, start a new relationship with someone but immediately step back to prepare for heartbreak. Even though this is an entirely new person and situation, your past experiences tell you that it will end poorly. So you walk into it with the wall you’ve built your entire life. The wall that protects you from the pain you’ve felt so many times before. You’ll go through the motions of the relationship hoping that it will be different, even though you don’t believe it will be. And because you hide behind your wall you can’t make a real connection that’s vital to all relationships. So it doesn’t have a chance to be different. The relationship will end before it ever had a chance to begin because you’re too busy protecting yourself from the fall.

The thing about the fall however, is you have to actually take the jump first. If you choose to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and leap, you might find something new. You might find enjoyment. You might find that connection with another human-being. You might even find moments of real happiness. But as we know life isn’t perfect. The relationship may still fail and you may still end up hurt and betrayed. That doesn’t negate the happiness you had though. It doesn’t take away the moments of love and the connection you felt. For me, the ability to have great happiness, even though it invites pain, will always be better than hiding from everything hoping to lessen the pain.

A relationship is only one tiny part of the point I’m trying to make. In reality, the choice to look at things differently affects everything; your career, family, friends, hobbies, EVERYTHING. You have the choice to see life through any filter you want.

You can decide to see the misery and struggle that is all around you and say that’s all this life is. You can put on blinders and trudge forward full of resentment and frustration. That’s your choice and no one can deny that to you, but it does nothing but hurt YOU. Viewing life like that will prevent you from seeing that even though our world has a lot of terrible things in it, even though you may not get everything you wanted, it is still full of beautiful and amazing moments that make life worth living.

Keeping the filter of darkness over your mind will prevent you from ever being able to experience life the way you want. You will continue to wall yourself in, and disappointment will be a part of everything you do. Eventually, you will stop trying. You will resign to what is, in your eyes, the inevitable path of pain. You will forever miss out on even the tiniest moments of happiness.

That doesn’t have to be your life. If you begin to force yourself to see life in a hopeful way, those things that hurt, frustrate, and anger you, won’t be able to poison your mind for long. It’s naïve to say that pain and disappointment will stop being a part of life, but they won’t last forever and you will have the courage to start again. Holding onto that hopefulness will make it easier to do the things that scare you. It will give you a real chance to find what you’re looking for in life. Whether that’s your dream job, the strength to perform in front of others, the investment that makes you rich, the hobby that brings you joy, that one person you want to spend your days with, or simply stated, whatever gives your life meaning. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you’ll have a better chance to find it by focusing on the good in life.

I’m not saying this is how you must live. You don’t have to listen to a word I say. You can think whatever you want of me, but know that all I want is for the ones that I love to be happy. In the end, this is your choice to make. It’s a choice to see the world differently every day and in every situation. It’s the choice to ask yourself if what you are experiencing is a true representation of what life is, or if your past is tainting your perspective of reality.

No matter what you choose, I will still love you. I’ve seen the consequences of both choices in my own life and the lives of others. I can say that one choice is better than the other, but it’s also much more terrifying. It means that you have to open yourself up to this world; this imperfect, unjust, unforgiving, devastating, wonderful, beautiful, warm, and loving world. To me, there is only one choice worth making. There will never be reward without risk, but the fear of pain will never stop me from going after what I value most: Love and happiness for myself and for my sisters and brothers of this world.

I choose to see the good all around me, to not let my past haunt me, to give people a chance, and most importantly, to be happy.

I hope your choice brings you the happiness you deserve.

[jerrickg]

Love or Hate

Several days ago we witnessed a horrific tragedy in Orlando, Florida. Fifty lives were lost in a senseless act of violence. We’ve all grieved in one way or another and to some of us this hits very close to home. This loss was not a loss to the Orlando community. This was not a loss to the Hispanic community. This was not a loss to the United States of America. It was not a loss to the LGBT community. This was a loss to all of humanity. This world is a darker place now. The light that was extinguished on that night and many other nights just like it has left a painfully dark void in our world. And what was the reason? Hate.

Hate exists and is demonstrated in many different ways, but the end result is the same, devastation and pain.

It’s time that we as human-beings make a choice.

We can continue to let hate fester in our communities, or we can choose to love.

We have all seen that violence leads to more violence. We know that hate leads to more hate, but we easily forget that love leads to more love.

It’s time to start looking past the differences in the people of this world and see all of the wonderful things that we share. We are all human. We all love, we all want to be loved. We have hopes and dreams, things we aspire to become, and happiness we want to embrace. Sometimes we hurt, sometimes we feel very alone, and sometimes we need help. In the end, we are all brothers and sisters.

We have a choice.

If you see something that makes you feel uncomfortable, or something that hurts you, ask yourself, “Am I uncomfortable because this is wrong? Is the pain I feel coming from what I see? Or is it because I don’t understand? Is the pain coming from something inside myself”? If you find that the latter may be true, the change you are looking for can be found in yourself.

For my religious brothers and sisters. If your church allows the hatred and exclusion of others, it’s time to question if this is what your God wants from you, or if this is doctrine created by imperfect men, who are capable of mistakes. I believe, in your heart, you already know the answer to that.

We have a choice.

The choice is simple, but not easy. Love each other. We all have anger and pain. We’ve been damaged and forgotten, but it’s time to let that go. Stop allowing the pain to choose for us. We as human-beings need to choose. We can choose to hate or we can choose to love. If we hate, the pain will never leave. It will grow within us and tear us apart. If we love unconditionally, we will be able to free ourselves from the anger and pain.

There will always be those who choose to hate, but I will not live my life based off their choice. I will live my life to love. If someone chooses to hate, hurt or kill me. I will know that I lived my life freely and as I wanted. Absent of hate, full of love, and willing to believe in a better world. I beg you to do the same. Love and accept those who are different. Forgive those who do wrong. Let go of the hate and show the world that we will no longer allow misery to spread.

Stand with your brothers and sisters from all walks of life. Fight against hate, not with more hate, but with compassion. Help those who hurt us understand the true damage they inflict. Show them that there is no reason to fear or despise that which they do not understand. You can make a difference. You can bring hope to the hated, and peace to the hateful.

I know that some may not think they can let go, but if any of you want help, if any of you want to change but you aren’t sure how; I will help in any way I can. You simply have to ask.

I love you all, my brothers and sisters, simply because I can. That will never change. I’ve made my choice.

Make yours.