Certified Skinny Legend: Daddy Jerry Wood

What’s up bitches, Jerry Wood here; teacher, mentor, skinny legend. Ask me what ever you please and I’ll respond the best I can. Peace out sluts✌🏻

[sleepyskele]

Psst, hey, hey you, yes you

Everybody who reblogs this before may 25th 2019 will get a little cryptid design based on their blog, url, etc.

[spaceinvaydr]

Holy shit he’s actually going for it…

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

The church caught on fire because the kids were playing my mix tape

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Darry is a TOP

End of story

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Yes I consume vast amounts of glitter on a daily basis.

No it's not a problem.

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Open role play:

Jerry sat in the dressing room. He dapped the sweat from his brow with a pair of his boyfriends underwear (which he kept around for good luck). Just then, he heard a knock at the door.

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

The only reason I didn't go in and save those children is because I'm dummy thicc and my ass couldn't fit through the door of the church.

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Hangin out with the squad. Catch us attending the funeral for your wig😤🙌🏻

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

can you host my funeral? skinny legends only <3

Oh course! Should I wear a neon pink leotard, a leopard print romper, or an iCarly shirt with matching assless chaps?

[over-saturated-sunrise]

all of the above xx

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

*gasp* Artistic fashion masterpiece!

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

What’s the ship name for you and Darry?

Jerrel (Jerry + Darrel)

[sodapopfuckingcurtis-deactivate]

Thank you. Now I can complete my chart. @staygoldponebone

[shut-up-star]

I’m excited to see the end product!!💕💕

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

What’s the ship name for you and Darry?

Jerrel (Jerry + Darrel)

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

can you host my funeral? skinny legends only <3

Oh course! Should I wear a neon pink leotard, a leopard print romper, or an iCarly shirt with matching assless chaps?

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Ask me questions!

Nothing is off limits

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

I need to eat an ungodly amount of baked beans to survive!

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Today Darry found $5 on the side walk and now he thinks he owns the goddamn town🙄

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Do you vaccinate your demons?

Of course! Although Darry on the other hand is anti-vaxx…

[sodapopfuckingcurtis-deactivate]

Darry will burn in hell. Satan is waiting.

[satan-macchio]

YES I AM WAITING. FEEL MY FUCKING WRATH.

[satan-macchio]

DARREL WILL VANISH

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Darry likes punishment😈

[satan-macchio]

Does he like poles shoved up his ass?

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Yeah

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

How was your day?

Very nice, thanks for asking!

I let Johnny paint my nails hot pink and then took the boys out to get Starbucks. Only the best for my babies. Then when Darry got home I gave him a full body massage and we made love on a bear skin rug❤️

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Do you vaccinate your demons?

Of course! Although Darry on the other hand is anti-vaxx…

[sodapopfuckingcurtis-deactivate]

Darry will burn in hell. Satan is waiting.

[satan-macchio]

YES I AM WAITING. FEEL MY FUCKING WRATH.

[satan-macchio]

DARREL WILL VANISH

[jerry-wood-shitposting]

Darry likes punishment😈