[...] And I’ll tell you another thing Cosmo, Kramer, or whatever you wanna be called - the kissing thing is over. There’s no more kissing, and I don’t care what the consequences are!
Inspired by a drawing in this post by @spengsart, it was too good not to put into words.
A little grumpy from a ditched date and a little tipsy on the beer Kramer brought over, Jerry didn’t notice how close his neighbor was sitting next to him on the couch that night. First, it was knees touching during the sports highlights. Then, it was an arm around the shoulder during a sitcom rerun. Finally, before he knew it, he was lying back and Kramer was snuggly lying on top of him.
Jerry picked up the remote, idly channel surfing.
“Seen this a hundred times. Boring. Boring. Rerun. Infomercial. Man, they really need to do something about late night TV. What about all the insomniacs, all the third shift people getting ready for work. Don’t they deserve decent content like the daytime people have?” Jerry ruminated with half-lidded eyes.
Kramer hummed an affirmation, pressing his nose behind Jerry’s ear, smelling his cologne.
“You know what they should make? Cartoons for adults. The kids have their Saturday morning ones. Your Supermans, your Smurfs. What about adult sitcoms but in a cartoon style. That would really be something. I’d become a night person for that,” Jerry rambled some more.
“Mmhmm,” Kramer hummed, a little more indignant. By now, he was kissing Jerry’s neck and slowly grinding his hips, their legs all tangled together over the other arm of the couch. A cheeky hand was sliding up Jerry’s shirt as well. Kramer’s cigar smoldered in the hand dangling off the arm by their heads, giving the room a sultry haze.
“Man, there is just nothing on,” Jerry sighed.
“Hey,” Kramer exclaimed, grabbing Jerry’s face with his free hand, “I’m on. I’m giving us something to do here. It’s like a bad movie at the theater, you neck.”
Jerry blinked slowly and registered Kramer’s hand on his chin, drawing him into a kiss. A slight hesitation crossed his mind, but his body was too tired and his frustration with his night was too great to pass up a sloppy makeout.
Kramer sat up, took a drag of his cigar before placing it on the ashtray and taking Jerry’s face in both hands. He coaxed his friends mouth open and blew the smoke in for them to share. Jerry’s eyes watered a bit as he inhaled and exhaled, that sluggish feeling trickling all down his body.
Kissing Kramer again, he carted his fingers in his frizzy mane and sucked on his tongue, feeling the blood rushing from his ears down to his prick. His hips bucked a few times absentmindedly, causing Kramer to reach down and pop open the fly of his pants and Jerry’s jeans.
Jerry pulled away for a breather and watched Kramer take both their cocks in hand, but not before licking his palm. The television glow on the side of Kramer’s face have him a bit of a spooky quality, a sex demon come to ravage Jerry in the wee hours to distract him from his recent rejection.
The staring started to make him antsy so he leaned up for another kiss but Kramer pulled away.
“C’mon, Cosmo,” Jerry groaned.
“Nah ah, I want you to beg,” Kramer said, more of a growl than a whisper. He swiped his thumb over the head of Jerry’s dick, smearing the bead of slick there.
“Kramer,” Jerry moaned, throwing an arm over his eyes like a southern belle on a fainting couch. He could hear the words burbling up in his mind and crawling out of his mouth before even said them.
“Please, Kramer,” Jerry said, his entire face red under the crook of his elbow.
“Please, what?” Kramer said smugly, stroking faster.
“Please kiss me, dammit,” Jerry said, pulling his arm away from his eyes and grabbing the back of Kramer’s head.
Their mouths met in a harsher fury than before, kisses peppered with panting and moans as they drew closer to climax. They both felt that pull deep in the root of their abdomen, Jerry eventually pulled away and pressed his face into the crook of Kramer’s neck, smelling the beach mingle with his new layer of glistening sweat. His thin tee from Rudy’s was soft against his cheek, another pleasant sensation after another, and before he knew it, Jerry cried out and came all over his scrunched up shirt. Kramer followed suit and unloaded all over Jerry as well.
They panted and Kramer went to stand and stumbled to the floor between the couch and the TV.
“You good?” Jerry said, taking off his soiled shirt.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kramer said, softer than he intended.
Jerry stood and wobbled a bit as he went to the bedroom and tossed his shirt in the hamper before grabbing a hand towel from the bathroom and cleaning himself off. He tossed the towel to Kramer and he did the same.
Adorning some pjs, Jerry appeared in the doorway and nodded to the bedroom.
Kramer giddily leapt to his feet and started undressing. He hoped Jerry’s dates would stand him up more often. And that there was nothing to watch.
bro I'm vdfnkjvndfk speedrunning Seinfeld, apparently, cuz it's running on cable rn, n I have yet to watch every ep so far, but I'm very 👀 about jerrykramer. Fellas is it gay to have an open door for ur neighbor
Soooo real and true like. Fellas is it gay to let your neighbor have your apartment key so he can take whatever he wants whenever he wants. To let him sleep on your sofa even though he lives right next door. To tolerate all his mess and clumsiness despite being a neat freak. To tell him about the insecurites you refuse to tell anyone else about. To listen and support him when he is struggling with his childhood trauma. To tell him you love him. To kiss him.
I have a question I’ve always wondered about: what do you think the age difference is between Jerry and Kramer? I don’t think this was really touched on on the show. Definitely Kramer is older but by how much?
Yknow its not something I've given much thought to tbh! Going by their real ages Michael is 5 years older than Jerry, and I think something like that would make sense for Jerry and Kramer too. But I think it's anyone's guess because Kramer is kind of an enigma. I think all the years of smoking did that to him. frjedscjxdfsc
OMG OK GIF REQUEST/SUGGESTION FOR YOU. I JUST WATCHED 2x5 AND THERES A PART NEAR THE END WHEN JERRY GRABS KRAMER'S FACE AND PINCHES HIS CHEEKS BECAUSE HES EXCITED IT'S SO CUTE
LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAV SCENES EVER!! it's goin' on the list!!!
ok ik you've done 7×18 twice now but if u wanna u should do the part where kramer says to elaine that he and jerry need to go to bed and elaine turns around to jerry and it doesn't sound like a jerrykramer moment when i put it that way but im sure u know what i mean ♥️♥️
Sorry for the late reply! I’ve been planning to make a set for that scene, its INSANE to me how they were talking about how “sex and discounts” were the cornerstones to a healthy relationship and then Kramer tells Elaine that he and Jerry need to get to bed. And all Jerry does is nod. Insane.
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