unholy.

 🏳️‍🌈 Jesse Ellis Lingard 🏳️‍🌈 29. professional footballer. Unless stated otherwise, all  of the gifs and graphics used on this blog are mine. For anything that is not mine: at the time of posting, content creators rules allow their media to be used. If that is the case, all credit goes to the respectable owners/creators. If something that isn’t my content needs to be credited specifically or taken down, please message me politely and I will do so. Please do not use my gifs/graphics without permission

[jesiuuu]

itsmadelyncline​:

we better find that time machine soon cause you are old, jess. i am so hurt by you saying that, they all are great shows but obx is the best. plus your bestie works there. and yet no musician ever sang a lullaby to me, how bad is that? thank god, for a hot second i thought you wanted me to get a sugar daddy.

trust me, i know! it sucks, i’ve been broken all season. if i’m not damaging my groin, it’s my knee or achilles. literally pay me to sell arthritic medicines at this point. okay, true. but i need a heartthrob to really sell a show to me and no offence to your ex but chuck doesn’t do it for me. should i get ben to sing you a lullaby? god no.... not unless he pays right.

[jesiuuu]

itszceydeutch​:

just avoid talking with me, that would be enough. we just see life too different. it might surprise you but yes. we were friends way before we started fucking and you asked me to date you, weren’t we? but i’m glad of the way things happened cause it helped me take a blindfold off my eyes and see you just the way you really are. collateral? that’s how you call it? you don’t get to play a victim here or diminish what happened cause a real good person would apologize instead of making up stupid excuses. he isn’t just good, he is the best fucking thing that could ever happen to you, but hurt him and that’s your death sentence. yeah, should had know an asshole like you would take things that way.

in that case, i think the blindfold needs to go back on because you’ve subscribed to hating a version of me that’s very much predating like... this century. i’ve apologised to you, there’s only so many times i can say sorry. you see, that threat would scare me if i thought you were actually capable of committing a crime or withheld the athletic stamina to follow through. keep swearing, zo, i’m tolling up your swear jar as we speak.

[jesiuuu]

goslingry​:

There should be no tooting of anyone’s horn. We failed. And got fucking busted while we were at it haha That photo of us? We look miserable haha

‘m more upset that they caught me at my worst possible angle. if i knew my stroke with death was going to be captured in hd, i would’ve at least flexed.

[jesiuuu]

text ✉ benny.

ben : pretty sure the expensive kind calls for the most decadent milks .

ben : quit being a little shit and trying to get a rise out of me . it's working .

ben : i could've written you one right back , baby . ❤️

jesse: true.

jesse: quite like when i get a rise out of you, ngl 🍆😏

jesse: i'm almost positive that's cap but i appreciate the sentiment. x

[jesiuuu]

lingzsta: ice spice boy ✨😌☺️♥️

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

Harry knew he was confusing him and he could tell that by the way Jesse was eyeing him. Hearing Jesse tell him that he didn’t think he had it in him to be all authoritarian, Harry raised an eyebrow. “How do you mean?” He asked. “If you don’t think I had it in me to be someone of authority, how exactly am I captain?” He added. It wasn’t like he was manager or something, but he had some kind of authority with being captain. “Are you making excuses?” Harry asked him when he said about the nosy neighbours.

he shrugged. “i don’t think you’d raise your voice at me even if i done the worst imaginable thing, you’re too nice.” jesse chewed his lower lip. “besides, you have a soft spot for me, i’m definitely one of your favourites.” harry served his term as captain because everyone respected him. truthfully, they’d all do what he say without him having to lay the law. “maybe...” he laughed, “you know i prefer bugging people in their room as opposed to mine.”

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

“Because I didn’t confirm or deny it, you think that is confirming it? If that is what you want to think.“ Harry said. He tilted his head as he listened to what Jesse was saying. “Not with you or any of the others. If someone went to far though, I would.“ He told him. He laughed when he noticed that Jesse almost choked on his drink at his reply. “Oh…whats wrong with yours?“

not that it wasn’t easy to confuse the mancunian but harry was beginning to blow holes into his theory. he stared at his counterpart perplexed, as if eyeing him for a prolonged amount of time would uncover the truth. “i don’t know, don’t think you have it in you to be all authoritarian --- not that i wouldn’t enjoy being on the recieving end.” he shrugged. “nosy neighbours?”

[jesiuuu]

𝖎𝖒𝖘𝖘𝖌 → to → mase 🗻

Mason: How's the tan and accent getting on mate?

Mason: Send some clothes my way, I'll do some branding for you. @ on the gram and that. Little bit of the modelling yeah mate, need some tips?

jesse: accent's down, tan's coming on.

jesse: you know 'm already planning to hook you up. what? tips for modelling? nah... don't have the height for it.

jesse: if anyone asks i'm 6'2 though.

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

“I didn’t even say to you that I was. I didn’t confirm that I was.“ He pointed out. Listening to what he was telling him about where he was on this table, he shook his head. “I still think its the worry of getting in to trouble.“ Harry replied. He leaned back as he sipped his drink and glanced over as he heard Jesse. “Your room or mine?“ He said, joking but he said it as if he meant it.

“your silence confirmed enough...” the midfielder teased. truthfully, it was --- trouble seemed to find him regardless of avoidance tactics. “i was saving you to be honest, i can’t imagine you setting guidelines or taking disciplinary action.” jesse nearly choked on his cocktail. a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he caught the glimmer in the skipper’s eye. “c’mon, cap. yours, always.”

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

“I just don’t want people trying to hook me up because it never ends well.“ Harry said. “Not just you. Anyone.“ He added. “Plus you have got through a few of those already.“ Harry told him. When he mentioned the table and where he was on it, he looked shocked. “What? Why the middle?“ He asked. “Or where you two worried that it would be biased putting your captain higher on there?” Harry listened. “Yeah, but have you actually did everything that they have written?” 

“i’m still rolling with the fact that you’re getting some elsewhere, haz. I don’t believe for a second that you’d rob me of the opportunity to play cupid.” the mancunian shrugged --- he couldn’t remember exactly why they hadn’t placed him higher. perhaps out of fear they’d recieve some disciplinary action. “you were competing with the likes of welbz, what can i say.” jesse leaned back on his chair, slouching slightly. “s’pose not...” he smirked, “unless you want to hook up tonight, cap.”

[jesiuuu]

Text: Jesse & Em

em: Gotta be careful with that too. They sense fear.

jesse: i know, they're evil.

[jesiuuu]

goslingry​:

Oh, so then you’re a pro? Great, because I’ve never been and could use the help of someone who at least has some experience. Might not be the best experience, but it’s there none the less haha I think we can find nemo and dory with our luck. How hard can it actually be?

i don’t like to toot my own horn but ‘m pretty advanced. and you’re right! it’ll be shallow, the waters won’t be shark infested, we’ll be making the cut for the little mermaid 2 come june. worst comes to worst, we’ll have a jack and rose trope in the eulogy section of the paper. can see the headlines now: they bunk’d then they sunk.

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

“That doesn’t mean a thing. I could be just saying that to keep you thinking. Or so you don’t try and hook me up with anyone. We both know how much luck I have had when people try and hook me up with someone.“ He said. Harry laughed and then raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know about this chart?“ He asked. “Oh, I think it is just their imaginations. I mean, I can understand the Gareth stuff with the hugs and the Son stuff from the reactions when we score. But its far from the truth. So it clearly is their imagination.“

jesse frowned. “what’s wrong with me trying to hook you up with anyone? i have good taste!” although, given the amount of cocktails he’d consumed already it was probably fair to say that his objective opinion was slightly jaded. “all you’ve got to know is that you’re riding comfortably at the middle of the table --- and i’m not the only one who’s contributed! trent was 100% involved in objectifying the locker room too.” the athlete nodded, still worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “it’s far from the truth for you... not me.”

[defensivewall]

via sergeaurier instagram stories

[jesiuuu]

goslingry​:

Hey, roomie. We need to make sure we hang out during one of these nights. Theres a ton to do here and we should make the most out of it. You ever been snorkeling? @jesiuuu​

i have. once. majorca ‘06 ~ can’t say i didn’t swallow half the sea water and use my snorkel as a nesquick straw more than breathing tool but i reckon we could give it a go. find nemo.

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

Harry had watched him as he had said this and noticed his reaction. “Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t.“ He said. “All by myself? I am a big boy now.” Harry laughed.”What? LinKane sounded better than KaGard. That sounds like something for a car. If people started shipping us? I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere out there is a group of people doing just that.” He said. Harry listened. “Hey…I would say the same.” 

“who?” the athlete grinned, “the fact that you’re being so mysterious is practically admission of guilt.” he leaned in for another sip of his cocktail --- “that’s what she said...” he mumbled, “we all know what you’re packing, harry. sneaked a peak in the locker room, i keep a chart.” the striker was probably right --- he was sure the 2018 team had been linked together with impressive creativity. “...do you reckon it’s just their imaginations or do you think they know i like... about me?”

[jesiuuu]

harrykane-hf​:

Harry was surprised he was awake. He had left the stadium, gone straight to the airport and here he was. It was a good job he had actually got some sleep on the pane. He knew he would be seeing Jesse here. He hadn’t got to see him in person for a while except when they were playing. Harry was sipping his drink and looking around when he noticed someone sit next to him. Looking to see who it was, he realized it was Jesse. “Hey.” He said. “Oh, I am fine when it comes to that. As for the fanfics…why did I tell you who it was about? Maybe I should have let you think it was about you? LinKane rather than SouthKane.”

the mancunian twisted the straw in his cocktail and raised an eyebrow. “should i ask what you mean by fine? have you actually managed to conquer the lonely hearts club all by yourself?” he’d definitely fallen into the trap of fanfic research ~ there’d been a month of awkward trent encounters after his last deep dive, it didn’t help of course that his sexuality was finely tuned on the internet moreso in real life. “linkane? marcus used to get heated enough that i was paired with jadon, trent & dele --- i think if people started shipping us, he might’ve had an anneurism.” jesse smirked, “plus, i don’t know if the image of us frolicking would do much for your psyche ~ ‘m already pretty irresistable without the hypothetical initiative.”