gay

I’m 24 and for someone who hates planning things, I should probably care a lot less about my future. I’ve stopped trying to figure things out, though. So this year i’m excited again. About everything. i spontaneously left my job and gave away my apartment to move across the world for the best sex of my life (or for love.. but lets pretend i'm cooler than that.) She lives in the biggest part of my heart and we live in a converted mill; covered in all of my diy's. i'm a dreamer but this year i've dipped my toes into reality. so I lost a fetish for writing about my old sadness and found something beautiful about crooked eyeliner. I've stopped trying to perfect everything. I am the empowered, self-motivated woman in love– who wakes up with the sun, practices meditation on the rooftop and creates her own happiness.

[landsccape]

[roccio2]

[nicole-alexandria]

“The darkness has its holiness”

[sharpenededges]

[bonjour-moncher]

[jessica-etcetera]

She is hellfire.

[jessica-etcetera]

Trevor, I couldn’t love you with any more of my heart. Even though you slobber on everything.

[aaaangel444]

[jessica-etcetera]

24/04/23

I forget it’s fricken nice to write things down when you’re overwhelmed. And here we are. Very. Much. Overwhelmed :)

***Although idk if I actually want to be on tumblr or it’s just the fact that I deleted tiktok and Instagram to concentrate on my studies and because I’m up to referencing on my essay I am that desperate to procrastinate so I opened tumblr?****

Either way. My parents have both been diagnosed with cancers and they’re both under palliative care. My brother is useless and I’ve grown to really disagree with him on every level of his being. (That’s dramatic, but he has been less than zero help, and it’s quite disappointing.)

My partner and I have moved into a new house and decided to move my parents in with us, to care for them. So we have a huge house out 20 min from the city with a full studio in the giant backyard; ie our creative escape. It is lush. Sam works and I study full time and work.

I like living in the suburbs. This means I’m officially old. But I’m also living with my parents and that sounds awfully lame if you don’t know the circumstances. But I love living with them. Even though I’m stressed out very frequently. It’s definitely taught me to manage emotions better. Also teaching me patience. I like the growth. I also think it would be impossible to not find the positive in everything. Though I would like a break :) please universe book that in for me xxx

Let’s try to write on here more often because as helpful as real therapy is, I now live like a poor student. Yay.

[aaaangel444]

[frachella]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CrNWFKrIZTm/

[oeups]

[makinginfinity]

@joykauai  by cecealana

[thekimonogallery]

Cherry blossoms and tea plantations, Japan . Photography by afun Agata

[chloesevignies]

maty fall diba by brett lloyd for purple magazine f/w 2020

[jessica-etcetera]

ok so tumblr still exists

how weird. writing here, i feel 19 again, wow. reality check, ur near 30 hun... a little strange that this is the only real place i have memories besides the ones in my head. exes messages and shiz on here. makes my heart feel funny. which is funny, because i remember thinking they’d always make me feel fuzzy. i guess that’s the whole thing though, right? everyone’s in love until they’re not? so god 5 years ago, i remember exactly how i felt. hopeless, desperate for change. unhealthy. lonely.  since then, i’ve been diagnosed with depression haha awesome. no but, actually! chemical imbalances are so real. thank god for science (and pills!) AND most importantly, the motivation to want help and accept help. I have also moved back from the UK with my beautiful woman, got life-changing surgery, mums had breast cancer, sam and i rescued a beautiful dog. we called him trevor. he’s the fuckin best. it’s all happenin. and i’m studying health science! how cool? no one can really believe i’m at uni AND getting A’s, but here i am, exams don’t lie, sis.  you know what else? i’m just fuckin so god damn happy! like actually i’m so GOOOOD bro. my vibrational energy is just so balanced. i’m bloody content. i just smile all the time. and get shit done. (she says as she procrastinates writing week 7′s flash cards for bioscience study...).  ok so we’re gonna make a little manifestation dot list for 2022 (even tho its already april) and i probably wont come back on tumblr for another 8 years • start nail clients: i started doing nails while i was in the uk and actually love it. so have been waiting till i get a cool balance with uni before i start.. but yeah. make up and nails on the side of studying will be my life for the next 6 years. • run a half marathon: started running and actually bloody love it. i used to literally get puffed just walking up stairs so this would make me so proud!

• invisalign!! since my wizzies have come through i’ve have a we bit of movement so lets str8n those bad boys up (you know, since i smile all the time now heheh)

• routinely plan the week ahead on a sunday. need i say more. just effin goals.

• start making tiktoks... i know, i know. the shiz you have to do for business. IG is so dang dead now! need to get our spare room set up and nice but it’s on the list!

• add 50k to savings!! thanks to my girl for teaching me how to handle money. always looking a higher number in the bank account now. just means you can do whatever the fuck you want?? duh!! plus, maybe babies soon what.  • grow hair past titty length. strongest desire of the lot iykyk.

• get the frick over to south east asia damn it!!!! (in the cutest bikinis ever) ok bye, getting back to biology notes now frick me ******(also this is so embarrassing, but in belfast, i guess because it’s so religious, evvvvveryone replaces swear words to frick, sugar, fudge, etc. and i actually cant stop myself from doing it either. also of course still love a good fuck, pussy ass but also.... frick. obsessed :’)

[cultof-aphrodite]