Pugs and Pretzels

“And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes. People aren’t supposed to look back. I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

[weloveshortvideos]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Oh my fucking GOD

[d0nn0]

Just a reminder to check if you are accidentally using your data and not your wifi so you can swap back over

[mylifebeyondlogic]

For the love of god reblog this to be a decent member of society

[lagoonas-deactivated20220915]

when will tumblr give us color coded text i wanna talk shit in pink

[fivelungs-blog]

mobile takes long enough to load I don’t want to wait till the next ice age because y'all are aesthetic shitposting in chartreuse comic sans

[bellygangstaboo]

[sadtit-deactivated20160618]

*cancels plans* sorry i can’t come i’m ugly

[daddycoolmurphy]

“You was ugly when we made the plans. Bring ya troll ass on.”

[persephonesecretlair]

^ true friendship.

[flightless-wings]

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

[imperfectkreis]

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

[melaniesole-blog]

She broke that shit down so beautifully

[black--lamb-blog]

women are masterminds and i love it

[jessshum8]

woman: i miss you like the deserts miss the rain

man: oh that's so sweet, i--

woman: i've adapted to existence without you, buried everything we made together, and prolonged exposure to you would be disastrous.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

This poor dude is waiting for his date for the prom unknowing he is being watched by the crew of a hit TV show

[hollyweeb-blvd]

The tides coming in, hurry up dude.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

Tide got him but he’s ok.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

He’s texting his girl but she’s not showing up. Is she standing him up?

[hollyweeb-blvd]

His best bud just showed up to help him.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

Tide is really coming in now, he’s on the phone. Things are getting frantic.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

Will she arrive in time? We’re gonna give him a round of applause if she says yes and arrives.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

OH NO!

[hollyweeb-blvd]

CREW IS ENCOURAGING HIM TO RE-DO HIS WORK. WE’RE SHOUTING “DO IT!”

[hollyweeb-blvd]

HE IS RE-MAKING THE MESSAGE! I REPEAT! HE IS REMAKING THE MESSAGE!

[hollyweeb-blvd]

WE HAVE RECIEVED WORD THAT THE GIRL IS ON A TREASURE HUNT IN THE CITY AND THIS IS THE FINAL LOCATION. HIS FRIEND IS STALLING FOR TIME.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

UPDATE: BEACHGOERS HAVE JOINED IN TO HELP THIS BOY REBUILD HIS MESSAGE TO THE GIRL! HIS FRIEND HAS JOINED IN AS WELL.

[hollyweeb-blvd]

IT’S ALMOST DONE! THEY MIGHT MAKE IT!

[hollyweeb-blvd]

THE MESSAGE IS COMPLETED! THE QUESTION IS NOW “WILL SHE SAY YES?”

[hollyweeb-blvd]

BRO OF THE YEAR JUST BROUGHT A GIRL. I THINK THIS MAY BE IT!

I THINK THIS IS IT!

[hollyweeb-blvd]

SHE’S APPROACHING!

YES! THE ANSWER IS YES!

OUR CREW IS CHEERING FOR THESE TWO.

[jessshum8]

woman: i miss you like the deserts miss the rain

man: oh that's so sweet, i--

woman: i've adapted to existence without you, buried everything we made together, and prolonged exposure to you would be disastrous.

[geturphilosphyfrmabumprstickr]

Thanks, Obama!

[y0urekillinmesmalls]

This is my favorite post of all time

[bearie]

[love-personal]

[constable-frozen]

The Great Gatsby (2013)

[nofuckingallowance]

[imagination]

[hobwithluv]

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

[imthegodofblood]

the beatles wouldnt even fucking exist if big time rush hadnt paved the path for them so shut the fuck up