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Schizophrenic Paranoia

"It’s… it’s in the past now." Matt was far from over it, but this was a start. It was more than he’d ever even dreamed of getting. Mello had never been the apologetic type. He stepped closer to the hoodlum, making sure he didn’t panic, before pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Don’t say such self degrading things, Mello. I understand what you did. I understand why you did it. It hurt, yes, it hurt like a bullet wound, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re alive, and I’m alive, and we have bigger things to deal with. We can battle our tragic back stories later." He was fairly concerned for the others well being, so he just kept hugging him as though he could take the pain away. "You know full well I’m not leaving. What was it you used to call me..? A glue stick without a lid, sticking to you wherever you went." He laughed at the memory.

"I’m going to continue stick to you like a glue stick, and help you get your sanity back. I’ve always been good at that." He finally released the blond, stepping back with a smile. He’d always been good at letting things slide, even if he was still hurt. Time heals all wounds… right?

"… Is he the one who attacked me?"

#deathbyshootemup #[ notes ]

The abrupt hug caught him off guard, but not enough to cause a recoiling action. He remembered who Matt was now; he remembered how intricate and delicate their friendship was, but that they would always have each other's backs no matter how much they were put through, or how much he, himself, put the gamer through. Along with that memoir came an elaborate sense of trust. The blond was never one to trust so effortlessly; there was an exceptionally small handful of people -- maybe three, at most -- whom he deemed trustworthy, but only one of those people he trusted with his life. Mail Jeevas was that person.

During the embrace, the hoodlum's tensed muscles gradually relaxed as the hacker spoke. It was strange, how Matt could frustrate him to no end at times, but manage to effortlessly calm him down at other times. Letting out a sigh, Mello tightened his grip on the other male as a sort of "thank you" before he was released. Despite the fact that Matt would most likely never forgive him for leaving, the leather-clad blond wasn't so distressed anymore.

"Yeah. He's... something."

Schizophrenic Paranoia

Even as he was hit, Matt was grinning. He listened to the short tirade of the blond, honestly expecting to get a much longer earful. But the speech was cut off abruptly as a wave of… something washed over Mello. Even after years at Wammys, Matt had never seen that expression. Perhaps it was because of the still drying blood coating the other’s face.

It took a moment for him to recognize what had been said. “Woah, woah. Hold on there. Worthless reject? Yeah, no. You’re my best friend, dickweed. Of course I came looking for you.” At least Mail hadn’t lost his awful vocabulary in the time they’d been apart.

"You don’t have to be sorry. You just lost your temper for a sec, no big deal." It didn’t even occur to him that Mello could be referring to something different. Mello had always had that habit- getting fed up and taking his frustration out on whatever happened to be around. Which sometimes happened to be Matt. He’d just gotten used to it.

#deathbyshootemup #[ notes ]

"That's not what I'm apologizing for," he muttered, powder blue gaze fixated on his boots.

The hoodlum was never one to become overly sentimental so easily, or even outwardly apologetic unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. It was more than necessary this time; the guilt he felt was real and he needed the hacker to know it was genuine before it ate him alive.

"I didn't mean to leave you there alone," he began, lifting his head and locking eyes with the other to clearly demonstrate his sincerity, "I knew how much you counted on me, but I completely betrayed that trust.. I was just so angry and too fucking full of myself to even realize what I was doing and who I was leaving. I should've just stopped for a fucking minute to think. But I couldn't. I had to get out. He wouldn't shut up; he just kept repeating that I didn't need them -- or you! -- to defeat Kira. He said I could do it my own way without following in L's steps and I fucking believed him. I didn't want to end up like him, so I had to leave. I thought that, if I left, I wouldn't lose my mind and turn into an obsessive clone of L.. But I fucked up. I'm losing it anyway and I don't know what to do! ... It was selfish and stupid, so I'm sorry. I don't want you to have to watch me lose my sanity, so just leave."

annarosette

aseaofquotes

Suzanne Young, The Treatment

annarosette

Schizophrenic Paranoia

#deathbyshootemup #[ notes ]

deathbyshootemup:

The few moment where Mello had just stared at him… Matt had never been more terrified in his life. His feet were rooted to the spot and was only aware of the rushing of blood in his ears- it was only when Mello had finally said his name that the redhead realized he’d forgotten to breathe. A sigh of relief shuddered through him, before he felt his knees go weak with the same rush of happiness.

"Of course I’m looking for you, idiot." He’d spent the entirety of his Wammy funds on the plane ticket. As soon as both Near and Mello had left, he was number 1, which brought certain financial benefits. He’d stayed for about a month, but even then the slight trickle of cash that Near hadn’t taken was enough for him to buy plane tickets. He’d figured out what city Mello was probably in and gotten on the first flight. The gamer had even pawned away most his gaming systems for food.

"So how did you end up in a dump like this, anyway?" Quick, change the subject before Mello gets mad at you for being so reckless.

"You idiot!" Ignoring the follow-up question entirely, Mello promptly stuck the firearm down the front of his pants and stomped up to the gamer, proceeding to smack him upside the head. "What the hell were you thinking?! Leaving Wammy's to look for some worthless reject? You could've died and I never--!" The blond stopped himself before he let the word 'goodbye' slip. He hated goodbyes.

A wave a guilt washed over him when he realized that he had left Matt behind; that he had forgotten him. How could he? Matt was his best friend. Logically, he never should've forgotten someone he was so close to. It didn't make sense. Was it amnesia? No, it couldn't have been; he remembered everything else that wasn't relating to Matt. It seemed more like selective memory, but.. ..involuntary? Mello sighed, glancing down towards his boots, attempting to take everything in. He'd figure out what the memory loss was about later; for now, he needed to be sincere.

"... I'm sorry."

aseaofquotes

Jennifer Brown, Hate Llist

#hey look it's B controlling Mel wonderful #original art #[ succession ]#[ muse ]#[ figment ]

bellybuttonforte

drugera

aseaofquotes

Amy Reed, Crazy

fullcravings

Gentlemen’s Chocolate Whiskey Cake

ocerch

Nothing kills you like your mind

(via ceinel)

#[ outofleather ]#/reblogs it here too #;u;

Hey guys! Thanks so, so so much for 100 followers! I love you all, so I made this to celebrate.

Some of you are on here more than once as different muses give me different feels or I just didn’t know which one to put, so I put both c:

Let the celebrations begin!

The ’ Wow I stalk your threads sometimes please don’t be scared’: I’ve never even talked to some of these people, but they’re absolutely fantastic! I notice you there and I think ‘Wow, that blog is hella rad’ Keep up the awesome work c:

burnintothewick || cocoaandcocaine, || digital-matt || mello-rosaryflame || mikael-keehl || swordsinthesnowdrift || ushirokara || yagami-raito-kun

The ‘Wow you actually put up with me’ : We have some threads but I’m always late and I never know how to apologize for it. Here is me formally apologizing. You’re all amazing, Your characterization is truly spectacular and I’m just in love with your blogs. You guys deserve lots of love and thanks for putting up with me and still being my friend despite the fact I can’t respond for shit c: So thank you!

abstractalternate || na0mi-misora || natashariver || obsequiousorion || shokoladkoshmary || theabandonedones

The ‘Wow you’ve ripped my heart out’: You guys are just… wow. Your writing is fantastic and so is your ability to make a thread interesting. Our characters have had some sort of meaningful interaction that has given me major feels and I am quite attached to our threads. I’ve probably spoken to you OOC and I absolutely adore you all I’m bad with words but tl:dr I love you all <3 I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE YOUR OVERWHELMING PERFECTION OK

agodandadreamer || armetux || bloodredbeads || jetblackleather || mihxel || ribbonsofred || subverticula || successful-successor

THE WOW ULTIMATE SHSL HELLA: Hi steve c:

the-second-a

Schizophrenic Paranoia

As soon as Mello had dropped for the gun, Matt’s instinct had told him to go for his knife. But now he knew that was a bad idea. If B took control while Mello was holding a gun to his chest… Well, it didn’t take long to pull a trigger. B would have plenty of time to have his fun before the Russian took his mind back. So Matt just raised his arms, trying to recall what Mello’s triggers had been.

"It’s me, dumbass.” He couldn’t hold back his grin, even as he stared down the gun. “Goddamn, you got taller. And your memory must have gone to shit.” He laughed, almost hysterical. “It’s me. Number three. Red. Mailbox. Whatever you called me back in the old days. My name is Matt. Did you forget your best friend already?” Cautiously, he reached up to try and push the gun away from his chest. “What happened to not shooting the guy who fixed your head?”