Ask the Characters @jetcharacters - Tumblr Blog

What was your highlight of the latest meeting at Anvil?

Lunetta: “Being made the Oathkeeper of the Loyalty Assembly, definitely. That, or being the one who successfully managed to herd enough priests to aid House Orzel of Dawn in anointing one of their number who was suffering from a particularly stubborn curse...”

Did you hear about that time where Ilariya bought out Felix's brothel for the whole day, into the night (when it was still in business)

Lunetta: “I heard stories, but I declined to listen once the words ‘rolling pin’ and ‘saddle’ were mentioned in the same...risque...sentence.”

You discover Magnus's fap collection. What's in there? Images of... A curious third party, this is for purely scientific purposes

Lunetta: “What’s ‘fap’? Some kind of lithography device?”

What was your education like for you? Did you enjoy it? Do you still see your childhood friends? Do you remember the change between childhood school and starting your congregation?

Lunetta: “My education was under my parents. I never attended school, as such, my path was always that of Loyalty. I passed my citizenship test when I was nine, and moved from working in my parents’ chapels alternately to walking the streets, chatting with people as they went about their business. As such, I didn’t tend to make friends as such; more acquaintances that I would grow to recognise and talk to on a regular basis.”

If for a moment, we were in an alternative dimension. Where the decisions you made were completely different and had led you down an altered path but the events had played out in a similar fashion but your life was not the same. When you turn over in your bed, who would you find there laying beside you, naked as the day they were born and why them in particular? Your mysterious, masked curious outsider

Lunetta: “I can’t answer that. Yesterday I could have. Today...I don’t know.”

In a play about a parallel You on stage, which actor would you get to play a male version of you? [I think I want Shakira for myself] x Felix.

Lunetta: “James McAvoy.”

If you had been sober that night (sorry) and hadn't gotten into a political bust up with the GH and Cesare, where or how do you think our story would have gone?

Lunetta: “I think I’d still be with the Bellamarina, or at least would have been until we got married, when there would have been long discussions about who was going where and moving into which Carta.”

How are you feeling today?

Lunetta: “...I’m feeling so much it’s hard to tell where one emotion ends and another begins.

Subdued.

That’s probably the best I can manage.”

You, your parents and Felix have received an invitation from Carta Lavoro inviting you to their estate in Temeschwar to celebrate your union. How would you react and what would do? They wish to hear back

Lunetta: “I would gather my parents, Felix and I together and discuss what would be best. This is Felix’s family, after all, so I would go with his decision, and support him wholeheartedly in it. If Felix wished to go, we would send our thanks and make arrangements. If Felix did not, we would send our thanks and politely decline, however perhaps suggesting that written communication would be a possible link between us and his blood relatives, I know not what my dear husband would wish to do.”

Your parents have been invited to tea with the Gilded Horn. How do you prepare them?

Lunetta: “I would hide the invitation so they never knew it arrived. What do you mean that’s not an option?

I would explain that the Bravos are very rambunctious and that any references to...matters of the flesh...are purely bravado. I would tell them that it would be best for them not to question what a “spider bridge” is, nor any of the other strange suggestions the Bravos might make.

I would tell them Magnus has rabies so it’s best not to pet him. (Or do anything else involving physical contact either).

I would tell them that if Regretzio is mentioned not to ask any more details.

I would tell them that Ferrero is a very good businessman and that if they need any deals to be made, he would be well worth talking to.

I would tell them that I love Beatriz and Arsenio very much, and that they have supported me so very much since I joined the Carta.

I would tell them that Sabrina is as much a member of our family as Felix is, and that I wish I could have had a sister had she been anything like Sabrina. I would ask them to treat her as they treat me, as I would feel that anything less would be completely unfair to her.

What else...? Oh, that they shouldn’t listen to Felix as Grace is not a dick, and that were it not for Grace I would not have survived the battles I have. I would tell them that if anyone deserved thanks and gratitude for looking out for me, it would be Grace.

Oh, and finally, I would tell them never to respond in any way, shape or form to the question “How was the dogging?” “

skittle-skattle

I dare you to tell another story from the apartment

ALRIGHT BOYS GIRLS AND EVERYONE WHO THINKS THE GENDER BINARY IS FOR SQUARES IT’S STORY TIME.

Today, we’re going to talk about the time Paul’s desire for superior firepower turned into a mini arms race that ended with me setting Eric on fire with a homemade flamethrower.

No, Matt Boomer, you sexy motherfucker, I am not kidding you. Let’s begin with some details.

So when I was at the University of Iowa, several people, including myself, bought Nerf guns for impromptu battles in the hallways when we had free time. Mostly this was all good, clean fun, except for two of the guys down the hall, my roommate, and I.

We all thought, rightfully so, that factory built Nerf guns are bullshit. They’re weak, darts are too fucking light, the barrels cause too much friction, which makes them inaccurate and slow, and you have to re-cock them after each shot. That’s some fucking bullshit right there. So we fixed it.

We bought new, higher tensile springs. We bought PVC pipe and lubricant. We put BBs in the tips of our darts, and my roommate and even put in a second spring to automatically cock the gun, essentially turning them from bolt action pieces of shit into semi-automatic friendship-ruiners.

So when I moved back to Chicago, and into the apartment, I obviously brought my Nerf guns (my roommate gave me his when we moved out), and I obviously attacked my roommates the first opportunity I had. OBVIOUSLY this led to everyone buying Nerf guns and modifying the shit out of them.

However, some of us were terrible shots, so certain measures had to be taken to make it possible for them to keep up. Brad practiced in his room every day, Josh built an extended clip for his gun, and Kyle bought the fucking Vulcan and built a 600 dart belt for it because he decided aiming is for people who can’t fire 6 darts a second (he modded it for doubled firing speed using a small car battery and replaced mechanics).

And then there was Paul.

Paul was fucking terrible. Like almost so bad it couldn’t be for real. He once tried to ambush me coming around a corner from 2 feet away and missed by a good 6-7 inches. He literally could have slapped me and he missed. Whatever moving on.

So Paul decides to solve his aim problems in the most Paul way possible: online shopping. He bought 500 foam pellets for a marshmallow gun, two dozen foam discs, and a motherfucking t-shirt cannon.

You see, Paul, much like Kyle, decided aiming was for lames. So he would pour foam pellets into the cannon until it was half full, slip in a disc to keep them from falling out, then shotgun people in the face. I was his first victim and boy let me tell you that shit is terrifying.

So Paul became the big dog in the house during Nerf battles, and the rest of us found ourselves unable to compete. So we all escalated in our own insane ways. Eric and I, the former champions, modified our guns to fire faster, Brad added an extended magazine to his gun, Kyle built a harness so that he could shoot his fucking stupid fucking bullet-storm piece of shit while moving. Josh booby-trapped various parts of our apartment. Suddenly, we were all better than Paul again, so he decided to step his game up.

He started making paper cartridges that would explode open once fired. Suddenly, he could actually fire multiple times a minute, which meant once again, he was at the top. It didn’t help that our reluctance to shoot back out of fear of getting shot was allowing him to take his time, therefore drastically improving his aim.

So we stepped up again. I smooth out the cocking mechanism on my guns, improving my firing speed even faster. Eric adds more weight to his darts, making them heavier and faster and much more painful. Kyle buys a bigger battery, newer parts, and he perfects his belts, which increases his firing speed to 12 darts a second.

So Paul steps up to take advantage of his improved aim and buys something called a Pucker Chucker which basically is a t-shirt cannon except it shoots foam pucks. This means we can’t just shoot at him from the other side of the apartment anymore, so we all step up again. I modify the rail on top to make aiming easier, Eric modifies his grip to make it more comfortable, Kyle and brad modify their barrels to make them more accurate, and Josh jumps on board the crazy train and builds a goddamn under barrel cherry bomb launcher.

And this is where shit starts to spiral out of control.

Brad starts making smoke grenades, Kyle solves his weakness against close quarters combat by using his battery to create a cattle prod to keep people back. Eric breaks the head off an old golf club to use the shaft as a weapon, I put pins in the tips of all of my darts, and Paul realizes that the Pucker Chucker can also shoot real hockey pucks after he steals my bucket of pucks from my room.

So it escalated a couple more steps but I’m going to leave them out partially out of a desire to keep moving forward and partially out of shame anywhoozle when we pull out our final contraptions and modifications that day we shifted from light-hearted fun that was a bit too far to literally combat. Josh had a sword. I don’t know where he got it from.

That battle was terrifying. Our normal fights were like an hour, two hours tops, then we would clean up, get together in the living room with some beers, and laugh about what happened. Honestly we should have known this was going to happen because when we did this after our previous fight, the laughter was less “haha remember when I shot Josh in the butthole? Classic.” and more “haha remember when I missed your face with that puck? Next time I won’t miss.”

So we somehow get into a battle again and this time things go south quickly which is bound to happen when you have a dude in a speedo swinging a sword around while rolling fireworks down the hall. It was literally chaos. There were fireworks and homemade smoke grenades and Kyle made the electrical current in his cattle prod too strong and it was too close to the muzzle of his Vulcan so every few seconds you would just see a flaming dart wiz past and I built a fucking flamethrower and I don’t know what the fuck is going on so I’m just firing it in the general direction of Josh to keep him the fuck away. At some point Brad barricades himself in his room, and so we all run back to our rooms and hide.

We do this for three days. THREE DAYS. I missed classes. We all had junk food in our rooms, and private bathrooms, so that’s what we sustained ourselves on for three fucking days. I, however, try to eat healthy, so I ran out of food almost immediately. After not eating for a day and a half, with food literally less than 50 feet from where I was hiding, I decided that I was willing to risk a trip to the kitchen.

So here’s something important about our apartment: I was the only one who knew how to cook. I had tried to teach the others, but all that had accomplished was several kitchen fires. This meant when Eric also ran out of food, he knew the only way to get a meal was to make peace with me. So he had snuck down the hall to my door, intent on asking me for help.

I did not know he was there.

So when I opened the door and saw a crouching figure in the shadows nearby, I assumed, I think justifiably, that it was the guy who had been swinging a sword at all of us the last time I saw him. So I pulled the trigger on my homemade flamethrower, only to see Eric’s horrified face illuminated by the flames for a split second before they hit his torso.

Luckily, I was using a scavenged fuel source (computer screen cleaner), so the flames were weak, but still fire is fire and fire fucking hurts. So Eric is rolling on the floor with first degree burns on his stomach and chest, and I’m freaking out because Eric is my friend and I just set him on fire, so there is now a lot of screaming coming from the hall.

Now, to lighten the mood slightly, here’s a personality test. You hear the sounds of fire, followed shortly by screaming coming from the hall outside your room. What do you do?

Do you assume the crazy sword guy has finally snapped and is going to kill you all, so you climb out the window onto the fire escape? Congratulations, you’re Brad.

Do you hear the cries of pain and grab a first aid kit before sprinting into the hall to help? Hey! You’re Kyle!

Do you hear the flames so you sprint into the kitchen to grab the fire extinguisher? You are Paul.

Do you come out into the hall to see what’s going on but also bring your sword just in case you have to stab someone? You are Josh and also mentally unstable please put your sword away.

So Kyle comes out and he and I start administering first aid and luckily through a combination of the weakness of my fuel source, how quickly I stopped the flames, and the quickness of our treatments, Eric only gets some first degree burns on his torso. Paul puts out the last of the flames, Josh decides he doesn’t want to stab anyone today, and Brad decides that the lack of screaming is a good thing and he comes inside. I spend the next hour apologizing profusely while cooking everyone dinner, and we decide that hey we should probably have some rules for our Nerf fights to prevent this from ever happening again.

So we all eat, we establish rules about modifications and ammunition, and at the end of it all, we grab some beers, head into the living room, and tell Josh he needs to get rid of the sword seriously dude where did you get that from?

jetcharacters

Completely not character related but - this is why we fight with foam swords at LARP, methinks.

#flamethrower #seriouslyomfgguys #theydiditsowedonthaveto

ilariyalavorowrites

So you wore Jodhpurs and acted as a bravo last season; how much did you enjoy it? Did it turn you on to dress more manly for once? Is that it for your dresses forever? (If it is can I wear them?! I'd look Fantastic!!!!) / Love Felix.

Ilariya: O….Ok Felix, I didn’t think that you were being completely serious when mentioned something similar in the past about dresses and you.

Yes, I will not deny that I did in fact enjoy wear Jodhpurs last season, it was a rather curious experience. I didn’t feel so weighted down and I could get around Anvil more easily, even though the mud didn’t help. I did’t get as muddy and I wish I had more of a chance to act as a Bravo. I think I might just have to wear them again especially if it gets that muddy again. It will save my dresses from potential ruin and would make my morning and evening routines quicker and easier. Plus didn’t walk around with what felt like half of Anvil’s weigh in mud dragging me down, causing me to sink further into the mud when I was wearing the jodhpurs instead of a dress.

Did it turn me on 0///0 It might have but yeah…….swiftly moving on

To be blunt no, this is not the end of wearing dresses for me Felix, I still indeed to carry on wearing them when the weather isn’t well completely impossible not to wear them. You can wear dresses if you want to, that’s up to you. However Lunetta you might want keep any eye on your own dresses. If any suddenly go missing, you might find your husband wearing them or maybe one of mine.

I’m not saying that you would probably would look fabulous or fantastic in them but you still can’t just have them.

#Felixandthemdresses

jetcharacters

Lunetta: “That explains why so many of my dresses are creased in the wardrobe...and why some of them have dust halfway up the skirt...

I may need to speak with some locksmiths...”

#Felix

nightxd

jetcharacters

Lunetta: “I don’t know what ‘alignments’ are, but I think Felix would fit well into this one...”

#Felix

How was the dogging?

Lunetta: “Okay, okay! I get it, I don’t know about such sordid matters and it’s hilarious. *huffs*”

Describe what love is

Lunetta: “Love is…unexpected and uncontrollable and unimpedable. Love is more powerful than convention, more determined than a war rhino and more complex than magical theory. Love is courageous and proud, loyal and vigilant. Love is unconditional.”

dra7z

Have you ever felt like courting Lunetta was a bad idea or the wrong thing to do? If so, why? If not, why not?

Sometimes I fear I’ve trapped her in the Carta. That she ought be free of me, of the burdens I bring. That she should be able to live her own life elsewhere. I do regret asking because I’ve really changed her world’s direction and that’s unfair of me. I should have left her alone. I should have been good and been my brother’s pawn… but. Well, things were not meant to be like that. I needed her, probably more than she ever needed me. I’m such a bastard like that.

I’m paying for it now though. HOLBERG. Got. To. Love. HOLBERG. I mean…. I’ve… always WANTED to go to HOLBERG. >.> Couldn’t just let my wife go on her own now could I? Couldn’t miss out on the FUN there.

Yeah, you know what? RIGHT now I regret Everything. Up to my eyes in Rivers Run Red, Blood! Mud! Everywhere! Deaths! Screams! Noises! Casualties! I SAW AN AMPUTATION GOING ON! WHY DID I EVER DO THIS?! I used to live in a bubble bath drinking champagne and painting my toe nails. NOW I’M IN A TRENCH.

jetcharacters

Lunetta: "I didn't INTEND for you to come to Holberg! I've done the journey alone before! Now there are plans and orphans and adulthood and... It's far more complex when I bring you, that much is clear!!

...Not that I mind..."

What's your greatest regret?

Lunetta: “...My greatest regret is not going into battle with Matthias and Reynard. Or telling them how I truly felt about them both before they went off into battle that day.”

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