My name is JEY (she/her, 00s, 🇵🇭). You might've also seen me as:
mxllerz_cc on Tiktok and Twitter
literato on AO3
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♡*.｡ Stuff About Me .｡*♡
FANDOMS 👥
— Heated Rivalry (Hollanov), Shameless, MCU
INTERESTS ✨
— editing, writing, reading fics, psychology, making graphics
FAV MOVIES/SHOWS 🎬
— shameless, heated rivalry, modern family, b99, superstore, arcane, adolescence
— tangled, captain america trilogy, set it up, instant family and many many more!
FAV CHARACTERS 🧑🤝🧑
— shane hollander, ilya rozanov, ian gallagher, mickey milkovich, bucky barnes, steve rogers, ellie williams, alex dunphy, amy santiago, viktor
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except for homophobes, bigots, pedos, sexists, racists, ableists, bullies, supporters of Israel, and people who are just downright assholes/menaces to society (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡
🔞 DNI if you're a minor. I won't always post 18+ but I won't completely avoid them so I just want to be safe.
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Also I am very new to tumblr so forgive me if I don't always get stuff right (人 •͈ᴗ•͈). I'm just here to have fun and make some friends ｡*ﾟ+
Normally Shane doesn't meet Ilya's eyes during their face-offs.
But in the last one he not only catches his eye but he *smiles* and Ilya fucking *melts*.
Ilya knows by this point eye contact does not come naturally to Shane so seeing him actively seek it out and seem so comfortable and relaxed probably made Ilya feel all warm and fuzzy.
Russian Language Line-by-Line Analysis of Heated Rivalry (Part 8)
This is the final part of my Episode 5 Russian breakdown.
Disclaimer: I am sure everyone involved did their best, and I mean no disrespect by any of the below. The whole thing is my personal opinion and I could be totally wrong.
Talking with Sveta
21:39 Я тебя на достоин. - I don’t deserve you.
21:37 Достоин. Но ты меня не хочешь. - Yes, you do. But you don’t want me.
21:30 Ты знаешь, что я тебя люблю. - You know I love you.
Word choice: Good. I am really impressed that they did not go for the classic English structure я люблю тебя (I love you). Я тебя люблю sounds more natural here.
21:27 Я знаю. Но это не так как с Джейн, не так ли? - I know you do. But it’s not the same as it is with Jane, is it?
Word choice: It is possible in Russian, but не так ли ("is it?") sounds very high-literary, not like something people actually say to each other. It could easily be omitted.
21:19 Я тоже тебя люблю. - I love you too.
21:16 Если я тебе буду нужна, я всегда буду рядом. Никуда не уйду. - And whatever you need, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.
Word choice: It feels like тебе could be omitted in я тебе буду нужна to sound more natural: Если я буду нужна, я всегда буду рядом.
21:10 Я просто надеюсь, Джейн знает, как ему повезло. - I just hope Jane knows how lucky he is.
Ok, let’s address the main issue here. Yes, Sveta refers to Джейн (Jane) in the masculine form (ему). It is very different from the feminine (ей) and cannot just be mispronounced like an English he/she mix-up. It is also pretty unclear whether Sveta says Shane or Jane.
But.
This is literally the only time in this conversation that Jane is referred to in the masculine and kind of mispronounced. For example, at 21:27 she clearly pronounces Jane and also uses the feminine form. If she were talking about a guy, the spelling would be different. Compare:
Это не так как с Джейн (it’s not the same as it is with Jane)
Это не так как с Шейном (it’s not the same as it is with Shane)
The ending of the word would be different if she meant a guy, not a girl.
The song in the background is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za6QQt6Xdrs
This is a Soviet song about dead soldiers.
Translation: https://ruverses.com/rasul-gamzatov/cranes/9838/
Ilya’s monologue
So the monologue below is a really good Russian. Connor also pronounces it better than ever. The problem is just that the language is pretty outdated, the tone is inconsistent, the swearing is very mild and a bit childish, and there are sporadic insertions of really colloquial words (like херня), which feel strange next to the rest of the "high literature" style. But I swear it is good.
And I also wanted to question whether this love confession was really that incomprehensible for an English speaker. I know how to say “I love you” in a lot of languages, and Russian is not that rare. He repeats Я люблю тебя (“I love you”) several times. How could Shane miss that?!
18:30 Я никогда больше сюда не вернусь. - I never want to come back here again.
Real translation: I am never coming back here again.
18:25 Я здесь все ненавижу. - I fucking hate it here.
Real translation: I hate everything here. (No swearing.)
18:21 И все меня ненавидят. - And they all fucking hate me.
18:17 Я за все плачу. - I pay for everything.
Observation: Ilya really emphasizes за все ("for everything") here.
18:15 Я слежу чтобы у всех были нормальные вещи, - I make sure everyone has clothes they like.
Real translation: I make sure everyone has decent things (not only clothes specifically).
18:11 Чтобы еда была на уровне, - I make sure the food is perfect,
Real translation: and that the food is good enough.
18:09 Чтобы отец был похоронен рядом с его родителями, - that Father is buried next to his parents.
18:03 Чтобы могила была идеально сделана. - that the tomb was perfect.
Word choice: I am not sure why сделана ("made") was added here. It sounds a bit awkward. Better, like in the English translation: Чтобы могила была идеальна.
18:00 И все, что я слышу, - это: “Мало” - And the only fucking word I ever hear is:
Real translation: And all I hear is: “Not enough.”
17:57 “Я хочу больше, Илья. Мне нужно больше, Илья. Больше, больше, больше, больше, больше, больше. - “I want more, Ilya. I need more, Ilya, more, more, more!”
17:50 Я нихрена этим людям не могу дать. - And I have nothing for these people!
17:46 Я им все отдал. - I give them everything…
Real translation: I gave them everything.
17:43 А сам чувствую себя пустым. - but I feel fucking empty.
17:40 Я им пофиг. - They don’t care.
Pronunciation: The correct sentence should be without Я: А им пофиг. I guess it was just mispronounced.
17:37 Смотрят на меня и видят либо банкомат, либо врага. - They look at me and they see a bank. Or an enemy.
17:33 Или… я не знаю кого. - Or I don’t even know what.
17:28 Мой брат, он всегда меня ненавидел. - My brother, he always hated me.
Word choice: The neutral way to say "my brother" is simply брат without мой. It is assumed you are talking about your own brother. It might be a deliberate choice if Ilya wants to highlight that the fact he is my brother is important, but personally I feel just брат is enough.
17:20 Я знаю почему, но... - And I know why, but…
17:15 Это убивает меня. - It kills me.
17:04 И меня убивает то, что он заботился о моем отце, а я нет. - And it kills me that he took care of my father and I did not.
Word choice: Not моем отце ("my father"), just отце. We know whose father you are talking about.
16:56 Но я не мог! - But I could not!
16:53 Я не был здесь. - I wasn’t here.
Word choice: Google Translate vibes. It should be inverted: Меня здесь не было.
16:49 Я все равно за все платил. - I still paid for it all.
16:45 Но он никогда меня не простит. - And he will never forgive me.
16:43 Ни за что. - For any of it.
16:41 За то что я вообще есть. - For existing.
Word choice: It was fine until this point, but the whole sequence from 16:45 to 16:41 does not quite work. While the English keeps the same logic with "for" in the second and third sentences, the Russian at 16:43 breaks that pattern. It would be better to start again with a full sentence. For example: Он ненавидит меня за сам факт моего существования (He hates me for the very fact of my existence).
16:38 И это значит, что теперь…У меня никого нет. - And it means…I have no one now.
16:28 Ну, не совсем никого, у меня есть... Светлана. - Well, not no one. I have… Svetlana.
16:16 Она меня любит. - She loves me.
16:12 И я ее люблю. - And I love her.
16:09 Но не так как… - But not like…
16:03 Черт. - Fuck me.
Real translation: Damn.
15:48 Не так как я люблю тебя. - But not like I love you.
15:43 Вот в чем вся хрень. - That’s the worst fucking part of all of this is…
15:38 Я хочу только тебя. - that all I want is you.
15:35 И всегда только тебя. - It’s always you.
15:30 Я так сильно тебя люблю и не знаю, что с этим делать. - I’m so in love with you, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Real translation: I love you so much, and I don’t know what to do about it. (So this is a full love confession.)
14:32 Я бы тоже хотел. - I wish I was too.
At the hospital
I wanted to mention again this silencing English "Sh-sh-sh" sound that, by default in Russian, should be "Ts-s-s". We are pretty exposed to English-language culture, and I guess the majority of Russians will not have any problem understanding what Ilya is doing and why. But it still makes me pause before I realise that yes, they mean a silencing sound.
Watching Scott Hunter win
03:32 Не забудь одежду для племянницы. - For your niece. Don’t forget.
Real translation: Don’t forget the clothes for your niece.
03:30 Принеси мне, пожалуйста. - Put them in the suitcase.
Real translation: Bring it to me, please.
So yes, he is packing the suitcase to go to Russia.
(This is also basically an appreciation post for Ep 5 which truly healed something in me after experiencing the gut-wrenching heartbreaking Ep 4. Shane really decided that he was done pretending he didn't care about Ilya and just STAYED. He was constantly asking Ilya about his family and how he is and it tore Ilya's walls DOWN. Ilya realized that Shane is his safe space and that he could be weak, vulnerable, and sensitive and still be loved just as much as when he was confident.)
A recovering Bucky who doesn't really talk or understand that he can have things that are his, but they're working on it.
And he starts bringing Steve little things all the time.
Little toys and trinkets people give him to fidget with during his medical check ups or things he finds as he explores.
Business cards with shiny lettering
Crinkly wrappers
Sugar packets
Colorful pens
A Fidget cube
Small stuffed animals
A pretty earring from the lost and found
Spare keys
Some confetti left over from an old office birthday party
A few small origami swan
Dried flowers
Random beads
And he always goes up to Steve at the end of the day with all his little prizes and shows each one of them to him, not ever really saying anything but he just lights up with each one he shows Steve. Holding it out so Steve can touch it or so the light catches it just right or just to make sure Steve fully appreciates whatever about it caught Bucky's eye.
Look, isn't it pretty? It's mine. I have things that are mine now. And even though it's mine, I still want to share it with you.
And Steve can't pay attention to any of it because he can't take his eyes off Bucky, and he's so breathlesslyhelplesslyoverwhelming in love
