Summary: Layla manages to get out of everyone’s grasp to go visit Marvin, and she’s not really sure if she didn’t want this to happen.
Note: Layla’s interactions with her father are in Bulgarian.
She wasn’t a stupid teenager. Layla knew something was bound to happen to her, but she hated the way she was feeling. All her life, her father has made her feel as if she’s completely useless, scaring her up to the point of isolation, kind of like he was doing right now.
It had been about two weeks since his runaway from jail. As much as she wanted to get away from it, pretend like nothing was happening, it was inevitable. His picture was plastered all over the news, it was impossible to runaway from him. Even in the safety of her dorm, his face haunted her thoughts, her dreams, absolutely everything. She couldn’t remain tranquil for even a second.
The bags under her eyes, avoiding food and the outside world... she was panicking to the full extent, and she hated feeling this way. All she wanted was to be free, to never have to feel the way she used to feel before coming here, but all of that seemed unreachable right now.
Getting up from her bed, she began walking towards the door. Of course, she knew she wouldn’t come back here alive. Shit, she probably wouldn’t even come back here at all. He’d kidnap her and they’d go back to Bulgaria to live a miserable, torturous, abusive life together.
For a moment, she admired her dorm. Her bed, her sheets, how much she’s come to love this place, how much she’s come to love America in general. She knew exactly the American saying ‘the land of the free’, because that’s exactly how she felt when her father got locked up; free.
Sadly, all of that would be over soon. As fucked up as it sounds, she just wanted to get it over with. She knew no matter how much she hid, no matter how hard she tried to dodge him, he’d find her anyways. If he was in jail, it wouldn’t be a problem, but it’s become obvious to her how crazy her own flesh and blood was. How does someone even escape a prison in America? It sounded so fucking impossible to her, but yet, here she was, walking out of the school, going to face death to ‘get it over with’.
It was twisted as fuck, sickening to even think about, but it was her life. She knew this fairytale wouldn’t last forever, getting accepted to this school was just way too good to be true, and it was time to face reality. Abused little girls like her didn’t get a happy ending, girls who killed their own fucking mother? They didn’t get a happy ending either, and upsettingly enough, she was both of those.
As she walked the barren streets this late at night, a small part of her mind couldn’t help but think about some positives. Maybe her father died? Maybe he went back to Bulgaria? Maybe he wasn’t out looking for her? She knew all of that was bullshit, but the soft side of her mind, the small, hopeful side, couldn’t help but think about the scenarios.
It was hard as fuck, getting away from both Jackson and Luca, but she’s been running all her life, so she managed herself. During this walk, the thoughts of both of them ran through her head as well.
Both boys were so important to her, but they both did something that hurt her more than anything; they lied to her. They hid the truth and got closer to her, and she had to find out all by herself.
It left her wondering if there was anyone real in this world. Probably not, but this unrealistic adventure of attending a boarding school was over, it was time to face reality.
She was her father’s slave. He’s told her several times, all while beating and raping the fuck out of her. It’s been stitched to her mind for so long, she’s come to believe it. She was nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.
Most people runaway, and she’s one of those people. But now? She’s just tired of fighting. In a way, she’s giving her father exactly what he wants, making it so easy to find her as she walks these streets all by herself. A poor, defenseless seventeen year old girl.
I deserve what I’m going to get, I’m worth absolutely nothing.
That was exactly why Jackson had lied to her, that was exactly why Luca had lied to her too. She was a heartless bitch, she was mean, she was cold, she was... scared.
For some reason, she found herself walking towards the dumpster Marvin lived in, right around the back of that supermarket, which was completely closed and abandoned at this time.
The hopeful part of her prayed Marvin was here, that he would save her, adopt her, and they’d somehow find the money to buy a house and live together and watch stupid chick flicks all day, but she knew he wasn’t. It was a Wednesday night, he was always at the homeless shelter at this time and usually came back at around five am the next day.
Letting out a shaky breath, she looked at the dumpster, the darkness of the night engulfing her small figure completely. This was how her father wanted it, and that’s how she’d do it. She knew every single one of his moves, she was his fucking ‘daughter’ after all, as much as she hated it.
She’s come to the terms that, she herself, isn’t worth anything. As a human being, she’s completely useless. All the years of abuse and rape, of malnutrition and pain, of so many feelings she couldn’t even describe if she wanted to, it’s all led her to believe this fully and entirely. Living in MVB for as long as she did was great, but like every story, that one’s come to it’s end.
“Marvin?” she croaked, her voice barely there.
No answer, but she knew he was there, she knew he was hiding. She knew his sick, twisted game all too well. She’s been playing it for the past seventeen years.
Feeling her eyes water, she repeated, “Marvin?” she had to play dumb, maybe he’d let her off easy. All the times she tried to get tough with him just resulted in even crueler punishment. It was her father’s way or no way.
Just as she was about to call the name again, a hand from behind grabbed her by the hair, knocking her to the ground and dragging her with it. Or well, him.
She didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. Covering her face with both her hands as hard as she could, she ignored the burning sensation running through her scalp.
It’s not going to be so bad if I don’t look at him...
“Uncover your face!” his Bulgarian was always so rough, always so rude sounding, but immediately, she did as she was told, feeling the tears running down her face freely now.
She forgot the feeling of pain. For months of attending the school, she didn’t get a single beating, not a single time. The familiar sensation of agony and torment came back to her stronger than ever, now fully recognizable.
The punches to her stomach, her face, the kicking and severe dragging of her hair... she’s felt this so many times before, but it hurt regardless.
“D-Dad–” she tried, feeling him slow down a bit, but now enough.
It was so early in the beating, she was aware that they weren’t even close to finishing, but she was already losing consciousness.
“Answer me!” he shouted, grabbing a hold of her neck and slamming her head to the ground.
Her crying was uncontrollable now, she couldn’t tell where she was bleeding from, but as she tried to breath, panting violently and trying to stay awake, she felt the blood in her nose go in and out as the air that was barely in her lungs tried to regulate, but that was impossible.
“I...” she trailed off, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, “I’m s-sorry... I’m s-s-sorry!” she shouted pathetically, a mixture of tears and blood.
Then, he was kissing her, and just like every time he does it, she cried even harder, feeling like a puppet, being used only for sick, twisted entertainment.
“You look so much like your mother...”
“D-Dad, p-please–” she knew it was absolutely useless, he would do what he wanted whenever he wanted, but it didn’t mean she didn’t try every time.
“Shut up!” this angered him, and the second of affection was over. He was full on hitting her again, kicking and punching her everywhere.
A particular kick underneath her jaw had her seeing stars, and just like that, she was out cold.
She began nodding before he was finished, having heard it all so many times before, “I’m sorry too... can you come back in like... an hour or something? I really really have to be alone now... okay Jax? I’ll still be here, I just... need to breath.”
“What the hell is wrong with me? DID YOU JUST ASK ME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!” she was shouting so hard, she was sure people in China had heard a murmur from a far. “I’ll fucking tell you what’s wrong with me. People walk into my life, claiming they love me, claiming they care about me, claiming they’re going to stick around and not go fucking anywhere, and they hide shit from me since the fucking beginning! It’s not just you! It’s fucking everyone, that’s my life, THAT IS MY FUCKING LIFE! You don’t lie to people you claim to care about, you don’t ‘hide the truth’ from someone you claim to love. Maybe you didn’t lie to me, but hiding the truth from me is considered bullshit, it’s still a form of lying. Then people have the balls to ask me why I’m a cold hearted bitch? Why I hate and avoid everyone? Why I pop off when the truth is finally revealed and why I am the way that I am? Or better yet, ‘what the hell is wrong with you’? Really now?” she picked up the stick again and smacked him with it again, twice as harder than she had before. “Wait, but there’s more! Some people, like you right now, have the fucking audacity to tell me that they’ll be there for me, that they’re not going anywhere, trying to act like the fucking victim, trying to act like they didn’t do anything wrong and like I’m acting like a crazy, psychotic bitch! Do you wanna see a crazy psychotic bitch?! Because you haven’t seen shit, BIG BROTHER!” she didn’t wait for a response, she wacked him across his stomach with every fiber of her being, going again and again until she couldn’t take it anymore and she dropped it again, “Ви чули це все, тепер забирайся звідси!”
He knew that playing dumb would make things worse but he wanted her to figure it out on her own. Once he saw it clicked he swallowed hard as she had handed him her matching necklace.“Не, аз имам навик.”
She didn’t even let him finish his response. Grabbing a stick off the ground, she begins smacking him with it roughly. “You,” smack, “are,” smack, “a,” smack, “fucking,” smack, “LIAR!” she hit him one more time, before sitting down and putting his hands in her face, beginning to cry loudly. “Leave me a-alone...”
“And what?” He questioned noticing her staring at his bracelet. “It’s just a bracelet. I’ve had it since I was born it’s actually a necklace but whatever. Why are you staring like that?”
The fact that he was acting so stupid about it made it all more real. He knew, just like Jackson knew, and both of them still lied to her. How could she have been so stupid? The accent, the random kindness, his fucking name, for crying out loud. Who the fuck is even real? No one. Without a word, she tucked her necklace out of her shirt and handed it to him. It was quiet for a moment, before she muttered words she knew only he would understand, “Разкарай се.”
“Then just tell me. You have to trust that you can tell me and I won’t fucking judge.” He says pulling his sleeve up the only thing he had of his birth family wrapped around his wrist. “Maybe I can help my dad is a commissioner.”
“It’s just that... my dad, he... he r-ran away from p-prison and–” she stopped dead in her tracks, eyeing the bracelet he was wearing with a dead expression. No... no fucking way...
“I just... I don’t even know h-how to say it... I am so scared right now and... oh my god, I’m gonna throw up...” she turns her head quickly and pukes, and when she comes back up, she looks worse than ever.
She didn’t say a word, nor did she even look up at him. She just started crying harder. Only her father could turn her into such a weak, weak little girl.
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