moon soaked

Never I'd had life enough My heart is screaming out And in a few days I would be there, love Ever here that's lived in me is yours just as it was Just as it was, baby Before the otherness came And I knew its name The love, the dark, the light, the flame The eyes at the heights of my baby Let's hope at the fight of my baby The lights were as bright as my baby But your love was unmoved And tell me if somehow some of it remained How long you would wait for me? How long I've been away?

[jamiehellstrom]

❝  i  would  do  anything  to  be  independently  wealthy  and  not  have  to  work  another  day  in  retail.  ❞  he  says  as  he  sets  the  glass  down  on  the  bar  and  looks  at  his  sister,  sighing  deeply.  his  day  had  been  long  and  tedious  and  he’d  been  yelled  at  by  more  than  one  customer,  and  he  was  over  it.  he’d  wanted  to  go  home,  but  thought  better  of  it,  and  went  to  the  bar,  because  what  better  way  was  there  to  get  out  of  a  bad  mood  than  to  complain  to  jules? // @jhellstrom​

[jhellstrom]

“wouldn’t we all?” jules shook her head at her brother. she gets it, though. she felt the same. jules had taken over the bar per her uncle’s request, yet she struggled financially to make it work. she lived above the bar, and enjoyed it, but it was difficult nonetheless. “speaking of -- those drinks aren’t free buddy,” she says, “when were you planning on paying up, hmm?”

[warsongbiird]

INTERACTION: lily v. & jules h. LOCATION: roots gas station. TIME: late night.  TRIGGER WARNING: not applicable.

the smell of freshly brewed coffee and gasoline filled the air. it was rather chilly outside, with the wind stilled and the crickets chirping their late night tune. it would’ve been peaceful, had it been anywhere else but pleasance. instead, it was like the moments before the killer in a horror movie walks on stage. that’s what lily thought as she paused from her crossword to look up at the empty store front. though the aisles were clear of any customers, she swore she heard something fall from one of the shelves just a moment ago. 

she arose from her seat, carefully walking away from behind the counter. she noted, upon peering outside, that there was not a car in sight. slowly, she walked down each of the aisles. the anxiety crept up her spine, her adrenaline shooting to full capacity. it felt like every time she turned a corner, she was destined to meet her death. just as she reached the last aisle, she noticed not a single item out of place. lily exhaled the breath she’d been keeping inside and shook out her hands, fluttering her eyes shut. “you’re safe, you’re here, nothing is going to hurt you.” she spoke aloud, a sort of mantra she’d learn in therapy. just then, however, she heard the bell tied to the top of the gas station door jingle. the calm disposition she once felt was replaced once again by fear. “hello??” she called out. 

[jhellstrom]

it was late, but jules was always a night owl. she thrived in the dark and found solace in the quiet hours under the moon. pleasance was small, but it was odd, which was a good thing in some ways. it meant that despite being a little town, you could still find places open past 8pm unlike most small havens. she found herself craving a dr. pepper out of the blue, and without anything at home, ended up here. 

“hi,” jules replied to the voice that called out, somewhat in a questioning tone. they walked further into the convenience store, looking for the sound of the voice. she could see by the other’s body language she may be a little on edge. “just here for a pop.” jules offered a little smile. “quiet night? or...” 

[jhellstrom]

dagnylarsson​:

Dagny’s infantry training, his upbringing at home, had prepared him for situations like this. Something bad happens, you shake it off. You’ve got a question that doesn’t have an answer, get creative until you find what you’re looking for. Most of all, he keeps on keeping on. Even if keeping on means having to repress sometimes (a habit he means to break now that he’s around his kid a lot more). And he knows that Jules is trying their best. They always do, and Dagny had never expected anything less from his younger cousin, but everyone has a limit and edge. And right now, he can tell that Jules is standing much too close to where the cliff begins.

“You’re not,” he asserts, both as a reply to her admission that she does not have a good grip of herself at the moment and the self-pitying remark that holds herself accountable for the little girl’s disappearance. “Some things are just… out of your control sometimes.” He walks around the dining table, his towering figure casting a shadow over Jules as he approaches them. Gently, he lifts a hand to strokes their hair, a pale yellow like his own, before letting that same hand feel for their temperature on their forehead.

And just then, a ding! and Dagny turns to retrieve the soup from the microwave. “We’re gonna talk about it, but first, you gotta eat something.” With the plastic soup container already on the table, he rummages through Jules’ drawers for a clean spoon she could eat with. “Here.” He hands them a plastic spoon, probably a spare from some takeout a long time ago, and pulls up a chair to sit across from them.

☾

Dagny reminding them that some things were just out of your control put them on edge. They didn’t like that. It was the truth, but one that definitely made Jules uncomfortable. Perhaps an aspect of herself she chose not to acknowledge most often, but she liked having control. Being in control of a situation means picking the outcome, getting to maneuver around that which you don’t like. Having no control meant winding up like this -- things not going the way you’d have liked. Small cases, sure, whatever. You get what you get. This? Had Jules unravelling. 

“They should be,” in her control, she says stagnantly. However, she falls into his comforting touch. Jules was a physical person, and everyone felt different. The familial feeling of Dagny, comforting, protecting, filled Jules’s chest. Even if it was just a small one, the care was there. She loved her family, even if -- especially because -- it was an odd cluster at this point.

Jules sighed, sitting down to eat the soup Dagny had brought her. She was grateful, even if she wasn’t all that hungry. Realistically she knows she should eat. “Do we have to talk about it?” Their lips pulled up into a bashful grin, looking at their soup as they took a bite instead of Dagny. 

[jhellstrom]

captainxkj​:

“Yeah, well…maybe it’s a mutant fawn.” This was a silly remark, but KJ knew she was right. He had been prowling the wilds of Pleasance for most of his life, and the native deer population had certainly caused him enough car trouble to know better. Still, he threw a grimace over his shoulder. “Fact is, something darted behind a tree over there,” he said, bringing up a finger to point. “And if it wasn’t a little baby albino deer, it was…something else.” Like the ribbon trailing off a bridal gown. He rolled his shoulders, taking a few steps closer to the shoreline, craning his neck as if to get a better glimpse of the darkened crevices where the trees met the horizon.

In truth, KJ was not afraid of Edith Alby. He told tourists overly dramatized stories about her, about catching sight of a ghastly apparition in white one night. And it was an easy tale to rake in a few extra tips. In reality, though, his own encounter with the lake’s specter had largely resembled the flash of white he had just witnessed. And so, he shook his head as he turned back once more.

“You didn’t see it? Nobody should really be out there right now. I mean, you can’t even really get over to that section on land.” He trailed off. “What color was that kid wearing, huh? I mean, it was pretty low to the ground, and…I’m gonna have to go over there and look, ain’t I? Shit.” 

☾

“A mutant fawn?” Jules looked at him as if he was full of bullshit, but amused at the same time, a crooked grin on her face. They sighed, not even wanting to know what or who it was fucking around. They were here on a little escape, just wanting to enjoy the day -- the sunlight actually felt relaxing for once, warm and calming despite Jules normally ever only finding comfort at dusk and on. So, finding this as annoying was an understatement.

She didn’t want to think about it being the renowned Edith Alby. The last time she’d been here -- and the reason she hadn’t been back, really -- wasn’t all that fun. It wasn’t horrifying, nothing out of a horror movie, but it had given her a bit of a shock. In fact, the specter was a little fascinating. Beautiful, in a creepy way. The lake hadn’t been so important to her she needed to return, so she’d just stayed away. Not necessarily out of fear of seeing her again, but having no interest in finding out what more there was in store if she did see the apparition again. 

Jules shrugged. She didn’t know what she saw, if she saw anything. “Maybe it was a teenager playing a prank. They’re all over this ghost shit, right?” But as she said it, maybe she shouldn’t have suggested it was ghost shit at all. Maybe it would have been better to just keep pretending for the moment that ghost shit wasn’t a thing.

[adonischildsupportcase]

[jhellstrom]

🍂 cold dark earth & 💊 codeine

🍂 cold dark earth  - is there anyone you would die for?

I can honestly say Jules would die for a lot of people if it came to protecting someone. But as a rule, or whatever, Jules would die for Ellie or Jamie.

💊 codeine - what is your favourite feeling in the world?

Getting to know someone. She loves to meet people, she loves learning about them however she can. Listening, learning, knowing. Something about it is so special to Jules.

[jhellstrom]

do they wake up groggy or alert? do they like mornings?

Jules wakes up groggy as fuck. She hates mornings. She’s absolutely a nighttime person, and always will be. Thankfully the bar works mostly in favor of her sleeping schedule.

[jhellstrom]

42. are they happy in their current living situation? why or why not?

“oh yeah. despite its weirdness, i love pleasance. actually, i love pleasance because of its weirdness. i have the bar now... barely managing with it, but i’m happy to be keeping it alive for uncle dewey.” 

[jhellstrom]

1,8

what’s your muse’s favorite artist?

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, for sure.

what do they sleep in? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing?

boxer briefs! that’s all.

[jhellstrom]

tender charm (hozier) // 36 & 41

🍀 tender charm - who are you most vulnerable with?

lately, honestly it’s probably ellie. she’d die for that kid. otherwise it used to be her uncle. next in line would be a tie with dagny and jamie. while jamie is the obvious answer, she often puts up a specific wall with him, where she carries this ‘big sister’ role (despite being twins), so she more protects him. and in protecting him, there’s a guard up. i suppose if you ignore that, and consider he’s still the first she trusts, it is jamie. 

36. would they rather be alone or in a relationship?

alone, tbh. not because she dislikes people (opposite, in fact) or is scared of that commitment or anything, she just... enjoys doing things alone. she enjoys being with people intimately and doesn’t really wanna give that up. 

41. where would they want to live if they could live anywhere? why?

jules honestly loves pleasance. otherwise she’d go back and live with family in sweden. 

[jhellstrom]

M A I L B O X

playlists

hozier

headcanons

[jhellstrom]

margaretflorist​:

maggie pressed her lips together, a wave of sympathy washing over her. she knows she can’t wave her hand and cure jules of their sadness. emotions must be felt, or so she’s been told. still, her heart aches. her town, wrecked in the aftermath of another tragedy. “it’s okay,” she says, “you don’t have to know.” she gives jules a small smile, leaning back in her seat. she thinks about her night. “i’ll be honest, it was—well. a lot happened, obviously. just not to me.” she smiles wistfully. “had a run-in with my ex. got caught up in the chaos, separated from everyone…i’ve been kind of a shut-in recently. i feel a little bad about it.” she’s getting better at lying about the attic. she doesn’t want to get anyone else in trouble.

☾

maggie, always so kind. sweet, even when she doesn’t need to be. jules was secretly thanking her, making it easy to tell her what was wrong and just slide past it. “oh, good. -- not about the ex, but that nothing bad happened to you.” the blonde shook her head and furrowed her brows. “god no, don’t feel bad about it. i think we’ve all been a little shut in.” she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. no one had been themselves lately. “you’re okay, though? you can talk to me, if you want, anyway.” 

[captainxkj]

CLOSED STARTER for @jhellstrom​ LOCATION: Northwood Lake TIME: Late Afternoon

While the dreary echoes of Halloween were still resonating throughout Pleasance, KJ was grateful, at least, that the lake itself had returned to some semblance of normalcy. There were no more crime scene investigators digging through the brush, no more forgotten candy wrappers bobbing dully along the beach. And with the summer season now officially over, he could relish in the proper woodsy silence as he went about his work. 

He hoped the girl would turn up safe, of course. But for the week now, mulling about Northwood’s edge, he had been wrapped in thoughts about the search having to shift, well, to the water. And something about that absolutely rattled him.

Lost in such dark forebodings, he was untying a rope from the dock when he caught the glimpse of white along the distant shoreline. It had lasted only a moment, a shifting shape, which, upon making its presence known, disappeared behind a tree and from view. KJ blinked once, shifting in place and staring at the horizon, bringing up a hand to shield his view from the setting sun. “Did you see that?” He asked, casting a glance over his shoulder. “A fawn?” 

[jhellstrom]

The lake, eerie in its manner, was not someplace Jules often adventured. Not anymore, not after her experience with one ‘Edith Alby,’ or so she believed. Jules hadn’t had much spiritual activity in her life despite living in Pleasance since birth, but she believed the whispers around town, who was she to say they weren’t true? And once she had a run in herself, she decided that was a big nope from her. It was sad, considering how much she’d loved the lake, but ever since her little haunting, she’d stayed away from the it. 

But now, more than ever, she just wanted the peace and quiet. She wanted to remember the tranquility it used to bring her. She wanted to ease her mind. 

Jules sat in the sun, glad she wasn’t alone as KJ did his job. She’d offer to help but Dagny had made her take a day off, and she was going to do just that. It was quiet, and for a little while she’d felt the relief she’d longed for. Until it wasn’t. “What?” Jules sat up, hand up to block the sun. “A fawn? Where? It’s not a fawning period,” she explains. “Breeding season is now.” 

[jhellstrom]

dagnylarsson​:

“Jules, it’s me, open up.” The sound of his voice should coax his cousin out from their room. He hasn’t heard from Jules in a while, not since Halloween, and he knows why. He also knows that she’s too proud to admit it to him, let alone talk to him about it. He can’t help but feel responsible. He shouldn’t have asked her to look for the girl. It isn’t her responsibility, but he made do with the resources that was available to him.

The sight of Jules on the other side of the door almost sends a chill down his spine. She looks more ghostly than any of the elusive characters that supposedly hide in the lake or the forest. What’s more, she actually launches herself at him for a hug, her skinny arms wrapping around his much larger figure. With one hand carrying a bag of soul, he uses the other to pull her closer, instinctively rubbing at her back with soft, soothing motions.

He quickly heads for the kitchen once they’re inside, pulling the soup container out of the bag to heat it in the microwave. “Mikey downstairs told me you haven’t been eating,” he says, arms folded sternly across his chest. “You can’t let this get to you, Jules.” Easy for him to say when he deals with it on the daily. “Also, I told Mikey he can cover for you tomorrow. You’re not working. Not like this. I mean… two patrons, over the bar— really?”

Jules shrugs. Maybe she hadn’t been, but Dagny didn’t need to know that. Mikey would have to answer for his gossiping mouth. She didn’t want to give anyone a reason to be concerned. Especially when it felt so silly. As much as it was weighing on her, she knew it was nothing compared to what the little girl’s mother felt, or what some others went through that night. But she felt... at fault, and it wasn’t going away.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes to him as if she really has something to be sorry for. She’d never dealt with something like this before. Things that would bring down most people don’t typically get to Jules in the same way. She has strong shoulders and she carries the weight of the world well. But this was just a whole new ballpark, and she clearly wasn’t handling it well. “I’m... trying.” 

The blonde cut in to argue with him, work actually helping her, but as he continued, her face flushed. She assumed he was talking about her after-work escapades. So, maybe work wasn’t helping in the most productive of ways, but it was still helping. “It’s --” she shook her head, thinking of something to say, “it’s a healthy coping mechanism.” The tone was defensive, but even she could hear the bullshit. She laughed a little, then ran her hands down her face. “I’m not handling it well. How can you not feel like you’re entirely to blame? Like you’ve not just ruined someone’s life?”

[highbcltage-blog]

why should i resolve things peacefully when i can fucking punch you in the face

[hellish-daddy]

[jhellstrom]

hildahenyork​:

Breathe, you fucking idjit, before you pass the fuck out.

Hilda nods, her breathing slowing and steadier now that she hopefully had someone to help her get home and her logical side was screaming at her to not be a moron. “M’phone died ‘round noon, and I broke m’watch an hour later so… puts me at like… almost three hours out here. By the way the sun’s goin’.” She shows the broken crystal face of her old watch, still saying it was 1:20pm. Jules didn’t give off the feeling of a big bad wolf luckily, luring Hilda deeper still and devouring her like a twisted version of a childhood story. Besides, the brunette was already off the path, already a little traumatized by the fact she got lost in the murder forest. Jules really couldn’t do too much worse to her right now.

“Yeah, ‘round three or so blocks t’the east from where th’forest starts.” Nice and safe from the lake, but Pleasance still had ways to spook the archivist, it seemed. Taking Jules’ hand, she helped herself up. “‘M not one for th’outdoors much, not without someone who knows it better. Y’seem very capable.” She motions to the sporting goods on Jules, the bow and arrows, and the fact they’re better dressed for a hike versus her. “Might I suppose y’come ‘round here often?” Way to make it sound like a pick-up line, there.

"Well, fuck,” Jules cursed. “That is bad luck.” What a shitty day to have, especially on your own and not knowing where to go? “You poor thing, I’d be on the edge of a panic attack too.” If she’d known her better she might have offered her a hug or some sort of reassurance. Jules was just sort of like that, but in light of not really knowing this person, she left it up to verbal communication. “Don’t worry,” she looked up at the sun, slowly making its way down, “we’ll get you home before you know it.” 

Jules nodded at her directions. “Simple enough! Let’s go, then.” She started walking in the direction Hilda required. “Thanks,” she laughed a little, “yeah, I’ve been around the forest a time or two.” Or a million times. She spent half her adolescence out here, shooting and sitting under the trees. It was a safe space for her, certainly. A comfort when she had nothing else.