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@arlens-entries
Coming back to Tumblr and seeing people still doing gender debates is weird, everyone at my school has moved on and just thinks "gender" is cringe now?
What's weird is gender being something that can be labeled as cringe, I can't put down the politics of my everyday life friend
This isn’t the final edit but I thought y’all might like to see what I’m working on for @yellowis4happy 🫶
gender essentialism is what happens when you hear about gender being a social construct and a performance, but don't actually want to stop viewing men and women as inherent opposites. so now instead of saying "women are x and men are y, because biology" you say "women are x and men are y.... because socialization!" & change literally. nothing. else. about how you talk about gender
& to be clear im not just talking about people who think trans women & NB people AMAB are forever tainted by male socialization. I'm also talking about people who do this in gender affirming ways. you are not immune to acting like being a certain gender means you will forever have certain traits, and that those treats are inherent to being that gender, just because you don't misgender trans people.
gender socialization should be used to talk about how gender is taught to us, both as collectives and individuals who each have unique relationships to gender. it should not mean "if you are raised as a boy or saw yourself as a boy it means you are a predatory self centered chauvinist forever and ever" that's just. fucking ridiculous. what's the point of saying gender is a construct and performed and shit if you are gonna act like this process occurs exactly Once in your life and then you are stuck with whatever magical gender traits society threw at you forever. I'm sorry one day y'all are gonna have to actually fully internalize that people who are men and people who are women are not different species
ppl will literally be like “socialization doesn’t exist, being amab doesn’t make u inherently violent and misogynistic!!!!!!!!!!!! identifying as a man does :)” like u literally just took the same patriarchal structure of gender and transposed it. “men are inherently violent and misogynistic” is incorrect whether you mean “amab ppl”, “ppl socialized as men”, or “ppl who identify as men.” there is literally no unproblematic way to claim a whole demographic of people is inherently violent and misogynistic.
we all have shit to unlearn because we all grew up in a sexist and misogynistic society. and each of us are going to have our own unique experience with contributing to and suffering under patriarchy, especially trans people. what’s important is knowing yourself, being honest with yourself, and always doing your best to treat others well.
Gender being a construct means that, like sex, it will be continually REconstructed to maintain its power structure. Too many people look for belonging through the exclusion of others, but we gotta think more critically about "us and them" rhetoric (in regards to more than just gender).
I need other non-binary ppl, especially folks who aren't interested in medical transition, to understand we don't all have the same experience as 'they thems' who only get misgendered according to our agab in public.
I'm a short genderqueer ftm with long hair and a deep voice, I get gendered every way possible. Any pronouns work for me, so misgendering isn't typically on my radar. However, I often experience transmisogyny when I'm read as mtf or transfemme by strangers, and explicit homophobia when I am read as an effeminate cis man. I think some fellow trans people find this 'misplaced' transphobia funny, I have had friends literally laugh in public situations where I’ve become unsafe. And I think allyship of other trans ppl isn’t just acknowledging each other as trans, but considering the safety of certain settings and knowing when not to acknowledge weird comments.
It's not some hilarious moment when someone calls me a woman and 'corrects' themselves when they hear me speak, or a giggly bit when I'm asked to leave for answering a question out loud in a women's bathroom. It's not funny when I get backhanded compliments about being a man and braiding my hair or suprised comments about my choice of formalwear.
These moments aren't affirmations of my masculinizing transition, and strangers being 'wrong' about my presentation and gendering me as a trans woman is not the funniest fucking thing, especially in the presence of my transfemme friends who experience the same backhanded shit I do.
My experience can't be chalked up to binary transphobia because I very much present as a multi-gendered person. I suffer transphobia not because I am androgynous, but because I'm not sometimes.
I truly wish I could get cis people and non-butches to understand how inherent transness/butchness/gender-nonconformity is for so many of us, specifically related to how visible it can be even when we do our damndest to hide it.
My parents suggested I detransition/try to appear “womanly” because it’s getting really dangerous where I live, and I’m just like…there is no world in which I can make that work. I was getting called a lesbian and a dyke as a teen before I even figured out I was gay. I was shoved up against a wall in college and sexually assaulted in public when I was in the process of coming out and presenting very femininely, specifically because I was a lesbian. Even when I spent hours playing with makeup because it was kind of fun (because I did wacky styles that make me think I was using it as a drag thing more than anything) I still stuck out next to cishet girls.
I’m not saying I can’t do things to improve my safety, but I have been butch/trans/gender-nonconforming my entire life. I cannot undo that from the fabric of who I am; even if I cover it up, the people who want to do harm can typically still pick up on it.
i feel like one of the weirdest realizations you (or at least i) eventually have a few years into transitioning and being mostly around other trans people, is that moment where u notice that like ur brains mapping of like specific voices to specific genders is just kinda gone. like it rly is just all social constructs programmed into u by society, and living outside societies idea of gender just kinda melts that shit away, and it's not just voices, like other traditionally gendered attributes also suddenly don't matter anymore*
*except for myself of course, i am obviously totally failing at being a girl but everyone is doing it perfectly, dysphoria is so awesome lmao
When I leave my university bubble of trans ppl I become acutely aware of how mixed up my presentation is for non-Queer folks as I'm read as a cis gay man, transfem, and butch cis woman simultaneously in the grocery store because I started speaking to the cashier.
Hello from the long silence, I haven't had my laptop for 6 months.
"We always told you that although we were butch, we really didn't want to be men. Butch was not synonymous with male, we promised. Butches might look very masculine, but in reality we were butch women. There was, in fact, nothing male about us.
Guess what? Right again. We lied. There is little "woman" left in us.
Even though many of my butch buddies "pass" on the street, most of us, me included, couldn't hang out safely with the boys at the pool hall without breast reduction and a handgun. Still, we do not think of ourselves as women. Or, in fact, as lesbians.
Now I'm not talking about middle-of-the-road androgynous, butchy types here. I'm talking "other" again. When we hook up with another butch sexually, we are faggots. When we have a girlfriend, we become her man.
We become male, but under our own terms, our own rules. We define the maleness. We invent the men we become."
-"Sex, Lies, and Penetration: a Butch finally 'fesses up" Jan Brown, The Persistent Desire (edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)
the most masculine labia I’d ever seen
Feel lots of dysphoria -> get sad -> cry -> feel dysphoria because crying is “unmanly” -> repeat
Submitted May 15, 2023
I hate that HRT isn't pick-and-choose, why can't I have JUST facial hair? Why can't I get a deeper voice and keep my higher register? Nature is so unfair and hates nb & gnc people /j
Submitted May 10, 2023
guy who is not necessarily nonbinary but also not NOT nonbinary. guy who doesnt fit into the binary-nonbinary binary. if you will
Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.
This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.
[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text “Good Bi Gender”, the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person’s face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: “Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can’t call me she/her. And here’s why.” Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.
Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. “I don’t want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon.” The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an “X” through it. Text next to it reads: “People don’t seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though… Or they think even worse of them than that…”
Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don’t like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy… I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I’m still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”
Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It’s both! I’m both! They’re not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I’m both despite the insistence that I can’t be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that’s all I will get from most. Because it’s “easier”. It “makes more sense”. To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don’t, I will never get to have he.” [The words “she” and “he” are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I’m still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]
Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!
Transitioning is a very serious decision and you shouldn't do it unless you're kinda bored and wanna try it out.
actually no I don't care that bathroom bills are bad bc "cis people can't always tell" and trans people peeing will freak out supposedly poor cis women who can't handle someone with a short hair or a beard breathing in their public bathroom
you think cis women are idiots and 'passing' trans men are counterpoints
you don't care about our safety and you don't care about women
Speaker Matt Regier has declared that he will no longer recognize Rep. Zooey Zephyr to speak immediately after the body passed a bill erasing trans people from all Montana code.
Rep. Zooey Zephyr, the first transgender woman elected to Montana’s legislature, attended a Montana House of Representatives session to oppose an anti-transgender bill that would remove references to transgender individuals from more than 40 sections of state code. The bill, which would define sex in a way that excludes trans people, was one of over a dozen heard this year. The previous day, her strong speech against the gender affirming care ban the state had passed led to the Montana Freedom Caucus calling for her censure while intentionally and repeatedly misgendering her. When she punched in, they refused to recognize her to speak, and instead moved forward to pass the bill.
Tensions flared on the House Floor when the entire Democratic Caucus rose to demand that she be permitted to speak. In a strikingly undemocratic move, Republican House Speaker Regier declined to allow it, asserting that he could refuse to allow anyone to speak at his discretion. When Minority Leader Abbott objected, they moved to a packed rules committee meeting, which upheld the ruling. Following that, the Speaker stated it was his intent to no longer allow Representative Zephyr to speak moving forward.
When protesters refused instructions to leave, law enforcement in riot gear continued making arrests and pushed the remaining protesters out
so about 100 people showed up at the house of representatives with a 3,600-signature petition demanding speaker regier let zooey speak. those protestors were met with police in riot gear, and at least ten of the 100 protestors were arrested. i know these numbers sound pretty small, but in a state with about a million residents in total this is a huge deal. the fact that this is making national headlines is a huge deal, too, and i hope that continues because the community that elected representative zephyr is vibrant, giving, and most importantly queer as hell. i’m proud to be a part of that community, and we deserve to have the woman we chose to represent us heard
the protestors who were arrested are currently being held at lewis & clark county jail, and you can donate to their verified bail fund here. please spread the word and give what you can! they’ve reached their funding goal, but this fight isn’t over yet
kinda sick of "boy pussy" where the fuck is man pussy. weird dude pussy. nasty genderfreak punk pussy
