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Another adventure

Who: Hayley + Josh ( @jhutchersonfm ) Where: South Africa When: Early July What: talks about their past and what their future could look like, bringing the couple closer together. Triggers: slight usfw mentions.

Hayley: having spent a month away from Josh since they were both working - the musician was glad that they got to spend a couple of weeks together, first in Ireland and Italy - and now in South Africa, a place she had never been before. Having spent the first few days adjusting to the time and weather, they had finally made it out to the safari and it had been a successful first day, seeing so many animals she had only dreamed of in the wild. Hayley didn’t know how she had got so lucky to be able to experience something like this with someone she had developed very strong feelings for. Now that they were back in their hotel room, Hayley was scrolling through the photos of the day, head rested on her boyfriend’s thighs, a position she was finding to be much more comfortable than she ever thought. “Look at this.” Holding her phone out - she showed the actor a photo of a lion family, with some new cubs and a couple of older ones. “They’re so cute.” Sitting up slightly, Hayley looked at her boyfriend, a grin playing on her lips “I’m glad I’m getting so experience this with you.” Even though she was in her mid-late 30s, it felt good to know that there were still things she could experience for the first time, with or without a partner. Leaning in, Hayley pressed a soft kiss to her boyfriend’s lips. “Hope you haven’t got sick of me yet since we still have a few days left. Want to make the most of it.” As much as Hayley got into head, over thinking about almost everything, she wasn’t feeling that in this moment. She felt peace. “And since I’ve got a few months off, except one appearance… means I can come see you on set more. I’ll bring Alf too since you’re his favorite.” A small laugh escaped her, once she was reunited with her pup, Hayley knew she’d quickly become the favorite once again.

Josh: It had taken some moving schedules around, knowing that the production could easily manage without him for a few weeks so that he could spend time with his girlfriend. Getting a little over 24 hours in Ireland before a small trip in Italy for her friend’s wedding, before they had made the decision one more trip before he’d be on work long term. That had landed them in South Africa, Hayley had really wanted to go, and Josh had thought it’d be a great place to explore together. South Africa had been a bucket list place to travel at some point, and now, after adjusting the last couple of days to the changes, they had just a little over a week left together. Taking trekking safaris had been the number one priority, it took up most of their time, something Josh was okay with. How many times would you get to see the views, scenery, people, and most importantly, wildlife they were getting to see. After getting back to the hotel, showering, Josh had settled onto the bed, wanting to relax since he knew it’d be a repeat of a busy day following. Fingers stroked through the blonde hair as she played on her phone, scrolling through photo after photo that she had captured. Shifting he plucked the phone from her fingers to look at the photo on the screen. A lion pride, seeing not only young lions exploring but a new fold of cubs that were following just after the slightly older ones. “They were amazing to see, can’t believe how different the sizes of the littlest ones to the slightly older ones are.”

Leaning forward he pressed a brief kiss to her lips, “I’m glad you convinced me South Africa was the right place to go. Really thought we’d need more time but we’re already out adventuring and not falling asleep on the guided tours.” When she leaned in this time he chuckled against her lips, “We have just over a week still here, and you don’t see me running, do you?” Josh was painfully blunt at times, if he didn’t want to be there, he wouldn’t have been. “Are you getting into your head again?” He shifted to lean back against the headboard. Josh could see that Hayley was continually working on herself in this relationship, he had seen a change from when they were in Mexico to now. “I am his favorite, told you, you’ll have to accept that now. Don’t worry we’ll try our hardest not to rub it.” Knowing they’d get more time together, more ability to cohabitate and learn about each other to see how they meshed was important, but if he was honest, he wasn’t worried. “And don’t think that just because you’ll be back you’ll win back title of favorite I’m not giving it up that easily.”

Hayley: having Josh play with her hair, Hayley let out a soft sigh. It was one of her weaknesses - to her it showed care to absently stroke her hair. “I can’t believe that we’re so lucky to be able to see this. I know it’s not a guarantee that we’d be able to see anything.” Connecting with nature this was something Hayley had only ever dreamed off. And she was grateful they came in a slightly cooler season for South Africa, it meant that her pale skin was a little less likely to burn, even if she was still religiously putting on sunscreen or Josh to do it for her. “They’re so cute. The fact that they’re going to grow up to be an apex predator is something that blows my mind.” Shifting into his touch, a grin played on the singers lips. “If we had longer I think production would get a little angry at you. And I’d have less time to practice for my new tour.” A small laugh escaped her, knowing that it would be fine. Work was work, and although it was important - it wasn’t everything at the end of the day, no matter how much they loved it. “No - I’m not getting in my head. I don’t think I’ve been in there for a little while. It’s probably empty.” One of her hands came to rest on the actors chest, tracing light circles. “Glad that you’re not running. I think I’d be able to catch you.” One of her legs moved over his - not meaning anything sexual behind it, she just wanted to be close to him considering physical touch was one of her love languages, and she felt like if Josh didn’t like it or thought it was too much, then he’d say something. “I just think about things a lot - the future, mostly. What it’s going to look like for me… and well, us now.” She found it easy to talk her mind with him - the blonde had no fear of being judged. Sometimes she was worried about what the future held, the biggest thing with kids since she was nearing 40. That conversation was just something she didn’t know if it was suitable to have so early in their relationship, even if they did need to be on the same page about what a future could look like. “If you gave it up easily then I’d wonder what you’ve done with my boyfriend cause he’s a very stubborn guy when he wants to be.” Hayley teased - knowing that she was just as stubborn, and thankfully that hadn’t caused any issues between them since they had met in January. Leaning over she placed her phone on one of the bedside tables - she didn’t need it when her attention was fully focused on her boyfriend. “Maybe we’ll have to share the title.”

Josh: “Will say that we are lucky, because we definitely had a chance of seeing nothing. Any of these days we may just end up literally wandering around and see nothing. Though I am hoping we’ll see elephants at some point.” Josh was someone who loved nature, it had been known between he pair pretty early when he had been the one who had wanted to go hiking to a waterfall. For him it was his way to disconnect, remind himself of the bigger things in life. They lived amazing lives but sometimes you had to remember the other things outside of it. It was a big reason he was so passionate about politics, social justice, and other organizations that he talked about. Really was the only reason he used social media at this point was for those things. Josh had no doubt that at some point he’d post photos of the trip too, make it so that others knew about conservation efforts and linking them to ways to help, explore, and learn but he figured he’d leave the majority of any posting to Hayley. “I’ve always found it fascinating how prides work, the fact that the lionesses are the more dangerous of the pack, which makes sense the whole female protecting their young. I’ve seen videos of when the male lions are too rough with the cubs, kind of hilarious honestly.” The hardest part of all of this was learning that some cubs wouldn’t make it simply because that was the whole circle of life spiel they’d get from the people explaining everything. He understood it, didn’t mean he had to like it. “Production wouldn’t get pissed, they know that I don’t take a ton of time off. During the first two films for the series I only took the two weeks everyone got off and made it work. Think they realize it’s easier to give a little here. Could have probably got more time but didn’t want to be working right up through Christmas and the New Year. I do like having that time off with family and everything.” Plus he knew with her bigger tour she needed time to rehearse, get that all together, they made due.

“Good.” Brushing a lock of her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Hayley had gotten into her head the last time they had been on vacation and he didn’t want a repeat when he knew how much she was looking forward to being in South Africa. “Don’t think your head could ever be empty.” He laughed, “I don’t know I’m pretty fast when I want to be. Can’t show everyone my tricks.” Josh pointed out before turning his attention back onto Hayley as he too put his phone down over on his nightstand. Not one to really focus much on it anyway, he really had only checked it to keep in touch with his family, especially his younger brother, to make sure everything was okay back at home. “Connor says hi, and to bring him back something.” Giving a roll of his eyes because of course that was what his brother would say. Leaning back against the headboard he focused on his girlfriend, when she mentioned the future. “Okay, what about the future exactly?” He knew that like any people in a relationship, they needed to have talks that weren’t always easy. Josh was well aware that the conversations regarding marriage, children, lifestyles, locations to live in the long term were all something the blonde and brunette would need to tackle. “So what do you think about the future looking like for us? Think I should at least have an idea of this picture.” A lopsided grin appearing on his lips as he leaned slightly onto his elbow to keep him propped up against the headboard.

Giving a nod, “That would be a dead giveaway if I’m no longer being stubborn, at least to some degree. Not that I plan to be about every little thing. I mean you didn’t see me give you a hard time about South Africa! Loved that idea.” After all, who was he to not fully enjoy that they were able to travel to such amazing places, something others could only dream about. “Hmm.. alright, maybe we can share the title. That’s to be determined at best right now, for now, let’s start with what you were going to tell me. We have all night, we did tuck in a bit early.” Glancing over at the close to see that it was barely past eight in the evening, which meant they could talk about whatever they wanted to before their bodies would inevitably want to crash from how busy they had been.

Hayley: “elephants? We’ll ask the guide to take us tomorrow where they’re likely to be.” Considering they had seen the animal Hayley most wanted to see - she figured they’d better their odds of seeing what the actor wanted. One of the things she adored most about Josh was his willingness to get out in nature - she had made the effort to make sure she went outside and did things in the sun, but being with him, and knowing him for the time she did - Hayley found herself outside a lot more. The blonde didn’t think she was changing for Josh but there were parts of her that had come out more since they had known each other. Hayley had vowed she would never change herself for a man again. She had done it once and that was enough for her. “Moms are protective in every version of being a mother.” A laugh escaped Hayley - she knew that her mom was overly protective of her, even though she was only a few years away from forty. “If you see any more videos like that though… you have to show me.” She playful poked his chest, narrowing her eyes slightly. Hayley had shared way too many videos with Josh, often wondering if he actually watched what she shared. A lot of them didn’t make sense to her when she watched them back, hayley was sure at the time she found them funny. “Mhm - having time off around the holidays is always important.” It was part of the reason she stopped touring in December, especially since her family was getting bigger with her sisters already having kids, or one on the way. Plus it was the month of birthdays for a lot of important people in her life. “We’ll have to figure out how to do the holidays closer to the time.”

“You’re just being nice.” Hayley couldn’t wipe the smile off her lips - he was right about her head never being empty but the singer didn’t quite want to give him the satirisation of that. “Well I have very strong feelings for you so I wouldn’t let you get away so easily.” It was getting easier for Hayley to admit her feelings, even if she had told him that in the past. As she learnt to love herself more, the solo touring helping heal traumas of her past, she found it easier to extend love and care to those around her. Even if their relationship had mostly been long distance since they first slept together two months ago, all the FaceTiming and messages more than made up for it in Hayley’s mind. They were putting in the effort in ways that they could, and that was enough for her. “We should go shopping for both our families one of the days.” Getting little souvenirs for their family members felt like a relaxing time with all the excitement they’d be having on safari.

Mimicking Josh, Hayley found herself slightly sitting up, eyes meeting his. “You said you’d like to go to South Africa. I just said let’s do it. Feel like it was a mutual choice there. I’m glad that we could do this without many other people around. Don’t have to spread ourselves out.” As much as Hayley loved catching up with friends, and seeing what they were doing, the couple needed this time alone to connect. Leaning over, Hayley pressed a soft kiss to his lips, savouring the moment before the conversation would get too deep. The future was something that excited and terrified her. Endless possibilities were out there.

“I….” Hayley trailed off and crinkled her nose. A month into their relationship could be a good time to talk about what they wanted in life - or it could be terrible. Either way, they’d know where each other stood. “I’ve always gone back and forth on whether I’d be someone to have kids. When I was younger, it’s something that I desperately wanted. I even tried to change my contract with the label so that there’d be less albums needed and I could be a mom.” Running her teeth over her lower lip, she wished that she was wearing her rings at the moment so she could fidget with them, instead she found herself cracking her knuckles. “And then I got divorced and had to deal with healing myself a little.” She took a deep breath - Josh had known she got a divorce, that was never a secret, but she hadn’t shared the exact details with him. “I’m glad that I didn’t have kids with him, though cause he was cheating on me for the whole ten years. We tried to share custody with Alf. Quickly stopped that, though. Couldn’t have him in my life anymore and Alf was my lifeline. Without him - don’t think I’d be here today.” Looking down, Hayley shrugged her shoulders. “I thought Taylor and I would have kids, not necessarily married cause I don’t know if I want that again. I thought after we’d finished the eras tour that’s when we’d take a break and start a family.” Talking to her boyfriend about what she wanted from past relationships might not have been the move - Josh needed to fully understand Hayley’s past, at least in her opinion and what she had talked to her therapist about. If she was holding back things then it wouldn’t be healthy for either of them.

“I think we were both a little too damaged for that, though. Bringing a baby into the world when we had so much to work on…. Not a good idea. We broke up and it took a few months for us to get our friendship back. Taylor is always going to be in my life, he’s still one of my best friends and I’ll always hold love in my heart for him. Not in a romantic way. Not anymore. I’ve moved on. I’ve found you.” Looking up, her green eyes met his. Hoping that Josh would understand, since she knew that his last relationship was also extremely long term. She wouldn’t be surprised if Josh and his ex had similar conversations about what a future would look like. “And I’ve worked so hard on myself, trying to give myself the love that I should. I’m in a much healthier place than I have been in a long time. I know that I’ll need to be on medication for the rest of my life to stay that way, too.” Mental health wasn’t something that Hayley took lightly. She had become a big advocate for it in the past eight or so years, finding healthy ways to make sure she stayed mentally, and physically fit. “So… I think that I’d like kids sometime in the future. Or a kid. I don’t know how many considering you know, I’m pretty much forty.” Hayley let out a small laugh, the self deprecating joke coming back. Hayley wouldn’t be Hayley if she didn’t crack a few of those. “I don’t even know if I can have kids since I’ve had pretty unhealthy habits in the past. And that thought is kind of terrifying.” Running a hand through her hair, she played with the ends of it to try and distract herself a little. “But yeah… that’s my biggest thought about the future. Whether my family on my mom’s side ends with me.” Waiting for Josh’s reaction, the blonde felt like she was holding in a big breath, even though she knew she was breathing normally. It was a big bombshell to drop on him when the day and part of the night had started so casually.

Josh: “Yeah, elephants, that or giraffes but for the most part I don’t mind as long as we’re lucky to see more when out in on the trek.” With these experiences he knew that they were warned that they could have days of seeing nothing, they couldn’t control animal patterns and how they traveled. They could give predictions based on how they tracked them but there was no promises. Truthfully, he enjoyed getting out and seeing the surrounding areas. Sure, the animals were the highlight outside of getting to spend time with Hayley that wasn’t them on an immediate countdown after only a few days. Josh was someone who had always enjoyed getting to be outside, exploring wherever you could naturally wander - within limits. “Makes sense, I mean elephants are naturally matriarchal which makes a lot more sense in the way life goes. At least animals have the whole life thing figured out in that aspect.” Which made sense that mothers were fiercely protective, even of other species if they could sense that they were young. “Don’t worry I will send you any videos I get but you should know that it probably won’t be any time soon, you know how often I use social media.” Chuckling because he really was one of those people that just didn’t enjoy it or find the need to be on it all that much for his own sanity. Hayley was definitely the one to be more active in social media and sending him different things. Which he did try and usually watch as many as he could, but sometimes he neglected to admit that sometimes he just sent the little liked bubble over the particular message. “It’s nice to have time off for the holidays, not so much because I’m someone massively about them, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends though. Gives kind of that time to be grateful for what you have around you, be a little more focused on it, so I’ve always tried to make sure I didn’t have to film around that time. Doesn’t always work but for the most part. Even when I filmed Mockingjay which we did for almost a straight year, we got the holiday season off of almost a month.” Which had been a pleasant surprise and very much needed by that point. “We have some time before the holidays to worry about that, but I figure you want to see your family, I want to see my family.” Everything with a relationship came to compromise, “Think we need to get through the meet the families first before we jump right to that. Make sure your family even likes me.” A laugh leaving his lips because he wasn’t actually stressing about that kind of thing.

“Strong feelings for me, huh?” The grin that tugged to his lips, “You’re gonna have to give me more details on these strong feelings later.” He never was going to be the one to push, given he knew a little bit about her past that he had learned thanks to basic online information that he had learned. Josh was well aware that their relationship was developing a lot different than some people, they were long distance a good portion of their time together. Still they were managing, and Josh did believe that it was setting them up for a stronger relationship because they were able to learn more about each other than being just about the physical. “We can definitely head out one day, do some shopping. We’re not going to be doing these treks the whole time we’re here. Going into town, seeing where the locals suggest to eat, get to see more of the community.” That too was important, when you were taking in a whole different culture it was important to attempt to immerse yourself as much as humanly possible. Josh figured that getting to bring things that people from the town they were staying in made it was good all around. Plus at least it’d shut his brother up because heaven forbid he didn’t come home with some kind of present for his brother he’d never hear the end of it. “True I did, but I also gave in pretty easy about taking a trip, I definitely could have put up a more stubborn fight just for the fun of it.” A soft chuckling because really he didn’t need to be asked to go on a vacation. His lips met hers as she leaned in to kiss him, leaving it at a soft and gentle kiss. When Hayley went into her conversation he knew this was a time for him to shut up and just listen. It was obvious that she had worked up the courage to be able to tell him all this right now.

When she got through everything he took a second, a lot of information had just been thrown at him. Figuring honesty was the best policy in this situation, “I knew a little bit about your ex-husband.” Josh admitted, “That you were really young, that he cheated and that it really was not a good relationship. I didn’t google you but I was online and some things popped up when I was looking on your social media.” Josh really wasn’t the type to snoop but the more you followed someone or looked at certain things, your page changed to show those things. Which mean he had gotten a picture of things, “So, figure going to start with I don’t care about your past relationships, first of all. Not in an, I don’t care because I don’t think it’s important, but in a that doesn’t define you to me. What happened to you in your past obviously is a part of your life but it’s not going to be something that I think will make or break you when it comes to our relationship. I get it, I was with my ex for thirteen years, those relationships are complicated and entangled in so many ways.” Clearing his throat he sat up a bit more. “For the most part I kind of wasn’t sure what I wanted for my future, maybe I couldn’t fully picture it because I wasn’t with the right person but I like to think that I’d want to have kids regardless.” The comment about her age though, and he understood biology but, “You’re not forty until you’re forty. As far as your body and your health, well, think we have options here. If we decide we want children we try the natural way and hope for the best, or there’s always the option of being checked by a fertility clinic. I get it’s not ideal but you know, blood tests, vitamins, scans, make sure everything is good and to know where you’re standing. I mean, I know I’m a few years younger but if it’d make you feel better I’m willing to go through fertility testing, like the basics. Make sure I’m healthy, you’re healthy. Doesn’t mean this is a we’re going to try for a baby conversation.” Josh thought they had a few more things they should attempt to tackle and take on before throwing caution to the wind. “But, I get we’re new in this relationship but I’m not saying I would be opposed to children if we got to a point we both want that. Also, in case you’re worried, I don’t believe we have to worry about marriage to decide if kids are a yes or no.” For him marriage was tricky, he didn’t know why he had never proposed to his ex. Maybe because he knew she wanted the big wedding, all the attention, and it felt more fanfare than anything. He didn’t need a piece of paper to say that someone would be the person he dedicated his whole being to without question. “Would it make you feel better if we did that? At least talk to a doctor, make sure things are good to a point that if it was the right time you could get pregnant? They’re going to go over all the not fun stuff, you know? I don’t want you to feel bad just because you think you’re old, which you aren’t. Sometimes the best thing you can do is have put in the work before bringing a kid into it.” Giving a shrug, “I’m here for what you’re most comfortable with, it is your body.”

Hayley: “if we don’t spot a giraffe… I think that would be tragic. They’re the tallest animals in the world. How would we miss them?” It always amazed her that new born giraffes were practically six foot - taller than she would ever be. “You think they have that figured out?” The animal kingdom always fascinated Hayley - often finding herself watching documentaries and learning the most random facts that she could. “You better.” A grin played on Hayley’s lips - she knew that Josh didn’t use social media that much, and she tried to claim that she also didn’t use it but that was far from the truth, she often found herself doom scrolling more than she cared to admit. They had several conversations about what would be posted to social media, both knowing that they wouldn’t care too much if they posted about each other. They wanted to keep their privacy but not be completely secret in their relationship. It was part of the reason Hayley had posted things in the past hinting at being with someone, but not giving it away completely. As a couple they would find the right time to confirm anything to the public, if they wanted to. Although she was sure that by time one of his movies came around to premiere - she’d be there by his side. Talking about the holidays, Hayley gave a nod. The singer already knew for thanksgiving she would be in Mexico thanks to tour, but she’d be free for Christmas - so they could figure it all out another time. “You briefly met one of my sisters before coming to see me.” The blonde pointed out with a grin - even if it was to drop off her dog somewhere safe, she was still shocked Josh was willing to do that. “You want to do that - meeting the families?” Hayley tried not to let the nerves build up in her. Just because they were talking about it didn’t mean it had to happen straight away. “My family are going to like you. You make me happy and that’s all they care about. You survived meeting my tour crew and they’re basically family, too.”

Although they had spent more time with her crew before they got together and admitted feelings, he had still managed to get along with them the couple days they were in Dublin. “yeah, very strong feelings. I could see myself falling in love with you.” Her cheeks heated up - love was always such an embarrassing feeling to her. Something she didn’t know how to process properly. Every time she had loved someone, or thought she did - it felt very different. “I find myself wanting to open up to you and for you to know every side of me. It’s been so long since I’ve let anyone else in my life like that. Kind of terrifying.” Hayley let out a soft laugh - hoping that Josh didn’t find her confession off-putting. Putting her thoughts out like that - she had to trust him, and she had never had a reason not to do so. Ever since they had met, he’d been nothing but respectful towards her. “Sounds like a good day to me. We’ll eat all the food people suggest.” Hayley loved exploring the cities she visited, especially when it came to food, finding it the easiest way to understand where she was visiting.

“What things popped up?” The blonde asked - curious about what had been said online. There were always conversations about her relationships popping up, even to this day about her marriage even if Hayley had completely distanced herself from him now and found a way to forgive herself for everything she had done in the past. She felt herself relax as Josh said he didn’t care about her past relationships. That she wouldn’t be judged for everything felt good. Shifting closer to her partner, Hayley’s hand took his, linking their fingers together. Conversations like this wasn’t what she expected, but it was better to get them out of the way while they were early into the relationship. Being on the same page was important to her - it meant she knew that there wasn’t anything hidden.

“I get it. Not being with the right person and wanting to make it work no matter what. It’s called being stubborn.”A grin played on Hayley’s lips - she felt like she had met her match with being stubborn - Josh was at her level when it came to that. “at least we both know that we can see kids in our future.” Her thumb continued to move over the back of her boyfriend’s hand as he gave all the options on what they could do. Another wave of relief moved through Hayley as he said they didn’t have to get married to have kids. “If it felt right to get married again… I’d do it. I love my parents, don’t get me wrong about that… I just don’t want to follow their footsteps with so many marriages.” A soft laugh escaped Hayley, her family was way too complicated - something she’d get into at another time with Josh, maybe after they had met each others families. “I think, yeah… I need to have a check up with the doctors anyway. Put it off because of tour. I’ll just ask for them to check everything else, too.” Eyes moving to his, Hayley tried to hide the shock on her face as he said he’d also do the testing. “You’d do that?” The singer didn’t want to point out that he was young and healthy because things could happen at any age, she just didn’t see him needing to worry too much about it. “I’m older and that’s okay. I know if I was to ever get pregnant that there’s now a higher risk for many things. At least we’d know any sort of risk factors.”

Moving to sit across his lap, legs either side of his hips - Hayley looked down at her boyfriend. “Still trying to figure out how I got lucky to be able to say you’re my guy.” The universe worked in weird ways - who was she to really question what it was doing? Leaning down she kissed Josh once again. This time with more passion behind it. Trying to show her appreciation not only with words, but physically, too. One arm came around his neck as the other rested on his shoulder. Moving to kiss along his jawline, Hayley whispered “Until we decide to actually try… we can have all the fun practicing.”

Josh: “Okay, but to be fair, I saw in the news back home,” Meaning the United States in general, “That somehow they lost a giraffe in Texas. How do you lose a giraffe exactly? I don’t know how you don’t see it but apparently if they could lose one in Texas of all places, maybe they’re harder to spot in the wild?” A chuckle left Josh’s lips, “You’d think they’d have figured it out but you know, we’re not exactly that evolved as a human species apparently.” Then again there was a lot wrong with the human race that wasn’t going to be fixed over night, let alone take notes from whole different species. When she mentioned that she had kind of met a little bit of her family, “Yeah if you include here’s Hayley’s dog, he’s been great, thanks for meeting me, see ya later.” Josh hadn’t really had time to sit down and really meet her other than genuinely handing her the leash, saying hi, and having to get out to make it to the airport in time. “Don’t know that that really counts as meeting the family, I barely said maybe a handful of words to her. Hopefully she didn’t think I was being rude but I was running late and needed to make the first plane.” Or that would have thrown everything off and he didn’t want to deal with attempting to get flights to fix things while in the actual airports. Josh was sure that her sister understood his need to rush off, plus he was pretty sure without Hayley there it might have been more on the awkward side of things. “Well, yeah, I mean I’m not saying tomorrow let’s pack up and go meet the families but in the nearish future, didn’t have to be right now. Could be a few months from now, but he figured that it was something inevitable. Especially given the conversation had turned into conversation about children, that would mean meeting the family would kind of be important. “Think touring crew is still a bit different but I’m also pretty confident in myself, I know I’m a good guy, I’m not someone who goes into it looking to be an asshole or expect any big fanfare, and my family is pretty chill. My brother can be a bit of a mess sometimes.” Well, at least Josh said that, that was more siblings being siblings and having to take the piss out of one another.

Seeing the blush creep up on her cheeks when she admitted that she had strong feelings and could see herself falling in love with him, “Yeah, me too.” Was he there? No. He had to be honest with that. After a long term relationship where he had had multiple years loving someone, he knew it would take time. Did he feel something strong for Hayley, yes. Did he realize it could turn into that, also yes. Nor did he fear the idea of falling in love, “We’ll take it step by step, how about that.” There was no need to rush, no need to feel like she needed to have those feelings just because they were talking about the big important things. “I get that, it’s scary to open up but I mean it, we can take this step by step. There’s no rush. We get to do this on our own terms, it’s our relationship. As long as we’re happy that’s all that matters and if we’re not we just have to be honest with each other. “There’s no better way to learn the place than eat where the locals want to eat. Not all the places that people think they should eat because it’s a tourist trap.” Not that those places couldn’t be good but it was always more about learning from the people around him that he enjoyed. “Mean that’s how my Spanish got to be so good that I’m fluent. I went places, forced myself to learn the foods, cultures, people. Really the only way to do it, but we also are lucky that we can.” It wasn’t like they had to worry about money in the general ways that a lot of people did, and he didn’t want to seem like he was taking that for granted. “Then we can do some shopping, make for a few easy days after all the sightseeing.” Which going on a safari did take a toll on the body emotionally because it was such a beautiful thing to see.

Giving a shrug, “Basic things, I don’t really read into a lot of things that come up. Rather hear it from the person because that’s their life. Not someone else giving their thoughts. Some of it matches up to what I’ve seen but it’s your story to tell.” While he was happy to have known a little bit to be prepared, he didn’t go looking to find out more. Hayley would have told him more about her past relationships when she was ready. “But I’m glad you told me rather than me having to go looking eventually.” Like it or not, couples had to tell the good, bad, and ugly to each other, even if they didn’t like it. Not that he would force her to tell anything she wasn’t ready at this point and time but all things came out eventually. “Yeah, apparently we’re both chronically stubborn.” He quipped with a laugh, “Don’t know if that’s a good thing, bad thing, or a figure it out as you go kind of thing.” Probably that figure it out as they go, given they both seemed to stick around in relationships that didn’t serve them any longer. Still, it seemed to be working right now, they were happy from what he could see. “Kids were always the plan in my future one way or another. Like to think if I didn’t find someone that it would have been one of those things I could have done the whole single parent thing.” He said, “Which I know we’re talking about us in all of this but should anything happen, and you want kids, you should have kids Hayley. It matters if it matters to you.” In his mind, he wasn’t thinking that meant they wouldn’t work out, but it was a reminder that if she wanted to be a parent, she should make it happen with or without someone. “Think it’s one of those things you know if you want to get married when you know, if not marriage doesn’t make a family. It’s the want to be a family and working on it. I’m not saying I’m against marriage. Like I said, if we decide we want that, we can talk about it, make sure we’re on the same page. I’ll admit now, I don’t know if I’d ever be a big wedding kind of guy.” Mainly because in his mind if he was going to marry someone he rather take money and put it towards a good home, or multiple homes if needed. Or a nice long vacation away to enjoy being married. To him that was a bigger thing in his mind. “Makes sense, not wanting to follow in those footsteps, but think it’s important to not let it make you fear things either. Though I mean I get I’m incredibly lucky my parents are still together and I’ve had this great idea of what a healthy relationship looks like.” His parents had been high school sweethearts, it wasn’t unheard of in the neck of the wood Kentucky for high school sweethearts to get married but his parents marriage had been good.

“Yeah I’d do that, I mean I get that being a male and I’m not in my forties or fifties, lord knows we see all these weird men having kids in their 80s.” Making a face, “But think it’s important, didn’t a study come out that it’s linked to the male DNA how a woman suffers from morning sickness, how the pregnancy goes in a lot of ways. Can’t hurt to be checked make sure I don’t have any issues either. Feels like it’s the least I can do. We decide to try for kids I’m going to be doing the least important thing out of all of it. Getting check out is literally bare minimum.” So, when they got back he’d make an appointment and figure out what he needed to do as far as all of that. “Pregnancies are risky in general, and stop acting like you’re almost fifty or something.” A laugh leaving his lips, “You seriously are not even forty yet. I wouldn’t start stressing yourself about age. Mean look a lot of women are having kids later in life right now, which I can’t even blame them.” Josh said, with the world around them it made sense to wait if it was healthier for the person both socially and economically. When Hayley moved to sit across his lap, “Hmm right place at the right time I guess?” Giving a shrug. His mouth moved up to meet hers, him sitting up slightly from the headboard, his hand cupping the back of her neck as she peppered kisses across his jaw. “Practicing works, think that can definitely be an option.”

Hayley: “I saw that and had a little bit of a giggle. But that was probably cause of also popped a gummy at the time and found it more hilarious that I should have.” She wasn’t going to attempt to figure out how someone could lose a giraffe - that wasn’t really any of her business. “I’m sure that they can help us find one, though. We’ve got a whole day tomorrow.” She gave a small nod about his comment towards humans. “We’re not the greatest.” There was a lot of things that pained Hayley about the world and all of them had to do with the human experience. She knew that there was joy there, too. And that the good had to outweigh the bad. She wasn’t completely jaded as a person. Just a little. “Mckayla doesn’t think that you’re rude. She thinks it was sweet that you watched Alfie for me. Said that you gave him to her in good shape.” The singer knew that her dog wasn’t the easiest to look after, too much energy and anxiety, much like her. Maybe that’s why he was her soul dog. “My nephews were excited to have him around for a couple days before my dad took him back to Nashville.” Seeing Alf again was the thing she was looking forward to most when she got home. “Yeah, in a couple of months.” Hayley felt like it was easier to meet friends than it was family - there was less pressure. Josh had met her closer friends before they started dating since he’d seen her show a few times, and Hayley meeting his coworkers and friends was a little bit slower. Now that she had free time, the blonde hoped that she’d get to meet a few more people in his life, if that was something he wanted. “I consider a lot of them to be family, though. Known some of them half my life - others we lived together in Nashville. It’s one big, misguided family.” Looking over at Josh, another smile formed on her lips. “I’d love to know more bout your brother. Think I’m the sibling that’s a bit of a mess out of me and my sisters.” Even though she was the older one, Hayley always looked up to her sisters.

knowing that they were on the same page as one another in terms of how they were feeling settled Hayley. There wasn’t any pressure from either side. Even though they were in a relationship, the musician knew that there was still a lot they had to learn about each other. The physical attraction was easily there - otherwise they wouldn’t have sex as much as they did. And Hayley knew there was an emotional and intellectual connection - she loved the conversations they had over the month they were apart. Knowing that she could keep that up, while also getting some good laughs out of their messages meant a lot to her. “You make me very happy. I’m not naive to know that we’ll never have disagreements, though.” Their values aligned with each other from their discussions, and with all the work Hayley had done with her therapist, she knew what a healthy relationship looked like. The blonde just knew that there would be times where they wouldn’t 100% agree with each other - as long as it didn’t amount to full blown yelling matches then she was okay with that. “Can’t wait for you to speak Spanish to me. Bet it’ll be super sexy.” Hayley teased her partner - she wouldn’t have any idea what he was saying, having never learnt another language. Hayley knew she could pick it up anytime she wanted to, and should have by now. “Sounds like a good way to spend a day before we get home.” She was going to spend a little time in Nashville with her family before going to see Josh on set - as much as she would have loved to join him immediately, having spent a little under two weeks with him, she also needed time with her family, to reconnect with them. Especially since her sister was bringing child into the world, Hayley wanted to be there for her before seeing her boyfriend again and getting stuck into tour rehearsals.

she was left stunned for a moment - people usually read about her and made a lot of judgements. Even if the person she first dated, Hayley didn’t consider much of a relationship since they were only kids, it usually left echos of her dating band members and ruining Paramore, and didn’t relationships. She knew Josh was different, there was never any judgment from the things she said. From her past, or even the weird jokes that she tried to crack. “Whatever you want to know - you can ask me. It doesn’t scare me to tell you these things.” Even with friends, Hayley sometimes had a hard time opening up. Romantic relationships had the extra pressure, but if Josh could see her for who she really was, and accepted her - it was all she could ask. Getting to know someone like this, for the first time in her adult life, it felt like a gift. The universe had tested her so much in the past, maybe this was her reward for everything she went through from when she was a little kid until now. Hayley wasn’t religious but she was very spiritual - so she couldn’t say it was what any one god wanted for her. “I think us both being stubborn just means that there’s times where we’re both going to need to compromise. Or know what things we want to double down on. Either way… it’ll be fun.” She said with an amused tone.

“I don’t think I could be a single parent. I had both of my parents in my life but… they were still solo parenting it. I know what my mom went through. It’s not an easy job. And I’m in awe of people who can do it.” The blonde shrugged her shoulders - she had written a whole song about what it would mean if she didn’t have a child, got all the feelings out about it. With or without a child, Hayley knew that the generational trauma would end with her. “Don’t think I’m a big wedding person either. Kind of tried that.” She snorted a laugh - her last wedding couldn’t have been considered that big, in the grand scheme of things, but it was put on for a show. “If it ever happens again I’m good with a courthouse wedding.” Hands rested on his chest, Hayley shifted ever so slightly. “You’ll have to tell me more about your parents one day.” as much as people thought Hayley would be jaded - she had her grandparents to show her what a healthy relationship was liked considering they had been together since they were 12. “Don’t understand wanting to have a kid when you’re so old. That’s ridiculous. Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should.” Listening to Josh talk about dna and pregnancy, the musician couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “So, if you do ever get me pregnant - I can blame everything on you, huh?” She asked, trying to contain more of her laughter. This was a serious conversation they were having after all. “Come December I’m going to be closer to 50 than I am 25. I’m a cougar.” She said with a grin. The comment not serious in the slightest. Their age difference was hardly anything, and it wasn’t something that she had thought about until this moment.

“if we hadn’t of both been in Hawaii at the same time… probably would have never met.” Hayley couldn’t deny that she had found Josh attractive since the moment they had met, at the time she wasn’t looking for anything, not even a hookup. Now she couldn’t get enough of kissing him, or seeing the look of pleasure that moved across his face every time they were intimate. Hands moving down to rest on his waist, slipping under his shirt to move her fingers lightly along his skin. “Only an option?” Hayley whispered, green eyes meeting his. Lips parting, she let out a small breath. “Did I get changed for no reason?” Josh couldn’t know that while he was in the shower, Hayley had changed what she was wearing under her clothes since she made sure to wear the same outfit. Lingerie made her feel sexy, and desirable but it wasn’t something she’d wear all day. Matching sets, yes - lacy matching sets she saved for when she knew they hopefully wouldn’t be on for long. Owning her femininity had been a long journey, and she was proud of the body she had. Hayley no longer compared herself to other women, didn’t feel the need to. At the start of the night - Hayley didn’t know where their evening was going to head, and this deep of a conversation definitely wasn’t on the table, she did feel closer to Josh now.

Josh: “Think the number one rule is if you can lose a giraffe, you shouldn’t have one. Those should in theory in the US of A be incredibly hard to lose and took two weeks to find?” Shaking his head, sometimes Josh genuinely didn’t understand how things worked. Maybe in the wild it was different because they would be with multiple other giraffes which meant easier to spot. “We do, we have what, today and tomorrow as far as safari goes, unless we want to add on more time.” It was one of those things they could easily do, but he knew he wanted to explore other things like he was pretty positive Hayley would want to do? “Would I do anything but leave Alf in anything but good shape?” He laughed, if he hadn’t been able to take care of a dog, he wouldn’t have offered, let alone the person he was dating. Knowing what a pet meant to people, he didn’t take that lightly. “Pretty sure he got better care than I took care of myself.” Which wasn’t something he was upset about, he loved having a dog around again. Since he had left his two dogs he had gotten with his ex with his ex, wanting to be the decent guy, and he was always traveling, he thought it had been the best move. Still, he missed having the companionship of a pet that just was always there. For now he liked getting to see that with how Hayley was with her dog and the time he got to spend with him from time to time. “Your nephews will help with burning all that energy out.” Josh hadn’t minded, he liked to go for a morning jog and that seemed to help Alf get some of that early morning energy but given his breed it was just par for the course. Didn’t bother him in the slightest. “Poor Alf is going to come back exhausted after kids are chasing him around constant.” Chuckling softly knowing that the dog probably loved every moment of it. At the mention of meeting families, he really did think that giving it a little more time would be a good thing. Not that he didn’t want to, but meeting families was a lot of pressure not only for the person, but the partner and the family. Josh wanted it to be natural, easy going, plus he knew his brother would do something to aggravate him — as much as he loved him, and he didn’t need to deal with that right away. “We’ve met a lot of friends, I mean you got to meet Jen and Elizabeth like we talked about, and honestly I’m friends with a lot of old cast mates.” Not that he didn’t have friends out side of the industry, of course he did, but he didn’t get to see them nearly as much as other people. “Sometimes big misguided families are the best, mean you kind of get that with the whole cast from Hunger Games. We’re all a random bunch that happened to grow up together for a good handful of years and are stuck with each other now.” Chuckling softly because it was true, they were stuck with each other, bonded through a movie that still had such significance to today. Giving a shrug, “My brother is a good guy, but he’s a pain in the ass — that could just be because he’s my brother. He’s gonna attempt to embarrass me when you meet him, do something stupid, I’ll threaten to end his life. You know all the normal things that a brother does.” Grinning over at the blonde, “But I can say if he likes you, which he will before you panic, he’ll be like your number one supporter.” As much as they hadn’t talked a ton about his ex, when he had dated her his brother had been a huge supporter of them, of her career, of Josh’s career, and stood by them through everything. He had no doubt it’d be the same exact thing once he got to know Hayley.

“Any relationship has disagreements, babe. It’s inevitable we’re our own people who have different thoughts, feelings, but doesn’t mean we can’t work through them. Doesn’t mean we even have to change how we feel.” Obvious it would depend on what said bumps in the road were, but Josh wasn’t exactly worried about that. If he was, he’d be open about it but for the most part it seemed Hayley and him had similar beliefs, wants in life, so he wasn’t exactly sitting there worrying. Maybe he was overconfident, but to him, he liked to think he had an idea when things worked and if they weren’t going to. “Is this a you want me to speak Spanish to you to get you hot and bothered, or should I save that for disagreements to drive you crazy because you won’t know what I’m saying? Both? I can absolutely give you both.” His hands gripping her sides, leaning forward to press his lips against hers for a fleeting moment. “You’re going back to Nashville for a bit, right? Know you talked about coming out and seeing me and I was thinking, after you are home, spend some time together, the place I stay in has some really great condos, we could get you one. Makes practicing easier so you don’t have to fly back and forth for practice with your band. Bring them out, enjoy, and then I’ll either in the same building.” Josh wasn’t ready to throw the whole live together thing out there. One trips, sure, they got that intimate picture and it worked, but it was different when you brought in every day life. Plus Josh wanted her to still have her own space, to feel like she could be her own person. “Then you know, if you want to crash at my place some nights you can, and you still have your own bed when you don’t want to. Plus with night shoots, it’ll be easier.” That was when band members were in town she had people to hang around. The last thing Josh wanted was her to feel like she was waiting around for him when his work was just that, work he had to do. “I want you to tell me what you want to tell me?” He offered, “I am not owed anything more than you’re willing to give. I hope you want to open up to me but it sounds like there’s some trauma there and I don’t want you to feel like it makes or breaks us because of your past. Same goes for you though, if there’s things you want to know about me and my exes.” No that Josh had a bunch of exes, two that were kind of the bigger part of his life. One being Vanessa Hudgens, and then his other being his long time girlfriend he had gotten out of the relationship with.

“I don’t think being a single parent is for everyone, but think there are people who if that’s what they want they should do it. Mean that would be something I would have considered at some point.” Josh knew he wanted to be a father, he didn’t know by which way that would happen. With a partner, adoption, surrogate — and if he had had to do it alone, he liked to think a couple more years he would have done that. Sure, ideally he’d like to be with someone, but he also was acutely aware you’d didn’t always get everything you wanted in life. But he respected that Hayley didn’t think that was the avenue for her. “Though remember you also have a great support system around you, doesn’t mean it’d be like how you were raised, not saying it’s an easy job but you have a lot more resources with life than your mom probably did.” It seemed simple rationale, “But I get that you’d want it with a partner.” Which essentially Josh was saying he was okay with. “Didn’t do the big wedding thing but think that always just felt like if the person was more worried about the wedding what did it say about the relationship — I see after Taylor and Travis’ wedding that you can want the big wedding and be utterly in love with each other, they’ve changed my mind on that. Just saying not sure it’s something I need.” He already knew it, if he wanted to and she did, he’d be perfectly happy at the courthouse, eloping, or keeping it down to a handful of people at most. For Josh he liked to think the things that mattered was putting in the effort in the relationship that turned into a marriage. A smile tugged to his lips, “My parents marriage is great, at least, from what I’ve always seen. They’re happy, like you said it’s not always perfect.” What relationship was? If it seemed to perfect, there was a problem. “Think you’ll have a better idea when you meet them. I’m biased I get it, I’m there son but it’s always given me a healthy idea of what a relationship should be, or could be.” He liked to think for the most part the took it as a blueprint for how to treat a partner, just with his own ideals a bit more there.

“I agree, just because you can doesn’t meant mean you should, the men who have kids in their late sixties and seventies or worse — higher, kind of weird me out. Plus that’s a lot to put on a kid, we only get so many years in life, and death is traumatic being that much older basically promises that a kid is going to experience a lost probably far earlier than most.” That was where the logic was in his brain. “Think if I didn’t have kids by my late forties I’d probably say then, it’s not meant to be.” Giving a shrug, he liked to be realistic but women were having babies well into their forties now, he figured it wasn’t odd for men to either. “Mmm no, I mean you can blame me but don’t think it’ll work.” Josh couldn’t help but laugh, “But I promise should I get you pregnant I’ll be there.” It was simple, but he meant it. If they were having this conversation, he wanted her to know he was all in, that this was something he’d put his whole self into. Raising a whole human together was connected on a different level. Giving a roll of his eyes, “You can’t be a cougar unless you’re over forty and at least 10 to 15 years older than me.” He retorted, “Already looked that up and since you can’t make yourself older than me by that much you’re stuck, can never be a cougar babe. Sorry to squash your dreams.” His hands slid across her arm as they dipped under his shirt, shifting enough to let her drag it up, his hand reaching behind him and grabbing the back of the collar and pulling it up and over his head with ease. “If you wanted me out of my clothes you could have just asked.” He retorted. His own hands ghosted over her clothes, shifting to pull her over his lap a little more, pressing her hips down into him as he met hers, his fingers gripping her own clothes and pulling it up, spotting the lingerie that clung to her body like a second skin. “Guess like you said, we should definitely practice that whole baby making thing until we officially do,” He husked, pulling her down by the neck and connecting their lips in a heavy, needy kiss, fingers tightened in the nape of her neck of her blonde hair.

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