There’s a topic near & dear to my heart that I’ve been wanting to talk about for the longest time. That is, Akashi’s DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). [If you’re not aware, DID is the cutting edge term for multiple personality disorder – what causes Akashi to split himself into Oreshi and Bokushi.]
We were first introduced to Akashi’s DID when Midorima mentions to Kagami that “Akashi Seijuro has two people” in chapter 203, and Kagami asks Kuroko what he meant. This is when Kuroko (the Ultimate Secret Keeper) finally tells Seirin what happened in Teiko. Thus, we are introduced to Akashi’s transformation from Kuroko’s perspective – in which Akashi told him what was happening. So what is Kuroko’s perspective?
A while after the “I am Akashi Seijuro, of course” scene, Kuroko brings up that Akashi has changed [ch222]:
Bokushi asserts that he has always existed. And certainly, this is backed up by the suspicions that Midorima (apparently at some point) expressed to Kuroko [ch211] –
This is how Akashi’s DID is introduced: there are two Akashi, Oreshi and Bokushi, that always existed together, and they each are different personalities.
Except that’s not actually the case, is it?
It’s interesting to note that the GoM were the only ones that noticed that Akashi had switched personalities:
But why didn’t they notice? There’s a scene that’s a game changer in Extra Game, one that I love: the one where Akashi tries to warn the team that Bokushi will be coming out.
“Akashi-kun is Akashi-kun. There is no difference.”
Now you could take this as Kuroko just being nice to Bokushi, but there’s more. For one, Oreshi affectionately calls Bokushi his “younger brother,” suggesting that Bokushi came about later than the original personality (Oreshi) did. For two, Bokushi says something interesting when saying goodbye to Oreshi:
So Bokushi came later than Oreshi, and wasn’t a natural creation. That is, he was always a secondary personality created by Akashi, and this falls in line with real DID cases. So let’s talk about real DID cases for a second. They are strongly associated with childhood trauma (which makes sense, considering Akashi was traumatized by his mother’s death and his father’s subsequent terrible terrible parenting). In response to that childhood trauma, they create secondary personalities that are capable of doing things that they are not. If you couldn’t stand up for yourself, your secondary personality could. If you were put in a stressful situation, your secondary personality would be triggered, and do things that you didn’t feel you could.
Bokushi is the person that Akashi wished he could become – aggressive, controlling, infallible, capable of holding his friends together even once they’d fallen apart by sheer force. He’s not the person Akashi actually is.
But why are Bokushi and Oreshi referred to as two separate people? There are only two people who ever refer to Bokushi/Oreshi as two separate people, and that’s Akashi and Midorima. Midorima clearly uses it to explain the strong shift in Akashi’s personality that he observed. But for Akashi, there’s more to it than that. He’s talking about himself. He feels like two different people (which is also in keeping with real cases of DID). In other words, Akashi is dissociating from himself in these moments, and does things that he does not believe he would normally be able to do. Crushing his friends to keep them under control? Oreshi would never, but Bokushi did. Swinging around a pair of scissors like a rapier? Oreshi wouldn’t, Bokushi did. And so on.
There’s one more moment that I feel is pertinent to understanding Akashi. That is, when Oreshi returns to take control [ch266]:
Above, we see the discrepancy in Akashi’s thoughts – he understands that Bokushi was born from his weakness, but he can’t wrap his head around Bokushi being himself. Instead, it’s “his other self.” Why?
Because he feels immense guilt over the things he has done. Admitting that he is Bokushi would mean taking on responsibility for his actions in a way that he currently doesn’t have to do. While Akashi is more than willing to make amends with the GoM, he doesn’t want to have to point at the awful things that he has said and done, and believe that he was capable of it. It’s far easier to attribute it to “his other self.” However, in Extra Game, it’s spelled out that Bokushi is an integral part of Akashi. Oreshi can’t use Emperor Eye as well as he can. Real parts of Akashi’s personality that stay with him after Bokushi is gone were present in Bokushi:
And so we arrive at the true meaning of this scene:
To the GoM, Akashi was always one person. But Akashi needed to believe that he was two. And you can see the strange calm that washes over him as he sighs (the “fu” sfx). He doesn’t smile. He’s not actually happy about this acceptance, because it forces him to see the way he has been perceived. He’s been telling himself this whole time “I am me and Bokushi is him,” but the GoM always perceived him as one person. In some ways, it would have been more comforting to him if they had kicked up a fuss – because then he would have known that they didn’t really believe he had done those things, but Bokushi did. But they do believe he did, and they’re willing to forgive him anyways. It’s a bit of a bittersweet scene, really.
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