Welcome to Me

Why tf am I here?

[reactionfaces]

[138onions]

When you jerk it to some fucked up shit and the realization hits you afterwards

[hydro-homies]

Explains a great many interactions

[jimjamjohn]

This dude. This fucking dude... Still doesnt have a superhero name. Its literally staring him in the faceee. Hand Grenade or Hand Bomb would be a fucking perfect name! But instead he wants something like Ultimate Fire Killing Man like wtf?

[shouldnt]

[shouldnt]

[americas-sass]

How to Write a Michael Schur Lead Romance

Partner 1: Confident, Fun, Slightly Depressed

Partner 2: Anxiety™ 

Partner 1 provides the light atmosphere, Partner 2 provides the level head. Congrats, you have the perfect lead couple.

BONUS:

How to Write a Michael Schur Secondary Romance: Abnormal Dork Meets Equally Abnormal Dork

[thepocketpencil]

[propertyline]

it’s the (except to spider) that really gets me

[mysharona1987]

[jimjamjohn]

"Finally this is my chance to shine"

[lvl-5-kobold]

i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar

now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends

we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…

“penguin brothers forever”

[jimjamjohn]

This is how most kidnappings begin

[hydro-homies]

At least they don’t get mad… yet…

[jimjamjohn]

I, Robot begins

[marveladdicts]

Not often a dude ruins your face, skull-stomps you sanity, grabs your baby mama, and personally sees through 4 of your 5 shittiest moments. Let’s just say it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

[jimjamjohn]

Fav movie of all time

[funnyhumormemes]

[jimjamjohn]

One episode is an hour long, it has 8 seasons,9th one the way with 10/7/6 episodes per season. Im afraid I dont have that kind of time.

[comics-r-4-gurlz]

THIS IS THE BEST BONUS STORY MARVEL HAS EVER PUBLISHED!!!

[littlemissonewhoisall]

It’s funny b/c Spider-Man making no quips is usually code for “someone fucked up and Spidey’s on the warpath”. That’s probably why the fourth guy just said “uh-oh”.

[jimjamjohn]

Who hurt my boy?

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

[dopeluminarydreamer-blog]

Reblog if you:

Have an iPhone and are in need of repairs

Have a friend with that problem

Hate Apple and are more than happy to spite them in some way

No one will know which is it

[jimjamjohn]

I am so confused why some people hate puns. Not necessarily "hate" but whenever someone makes pun they just are not amused. Like I would go ape shit whenever someone makes a pun, puns are fucking amazing and you cant convince me otherwise

[verothexeno]

Cringe culture is stupid :) ! Let people enjoy their shit in peace and live your life the way you want. Hate it ? SKIP IT !

[jimjamjohn]

PREACH

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Not saying Tumblr has no real gauge for the human aging process but they honestly think 15-year-olds can’t have anything bigger than a B-cup and 30-year-olds should have wrinkles or else they’re “too young-looking” and start making theories about celebrities being immortal when they see a white person who doesn’t “age like milk”

[trilllizard666]

Tumblr does have no gauge for the human aging process though. They never go outside and look at actual varities of people. So many of these tumblr types don’t go out and see actual people or go and do model drawing with art classes.

[synthicyde]

Tumblr’s Understanding of Aging

Under 18: You are a child. You have no concept of anything. Your body is frail and your mind cannot handle anything. In fact, your brain is so lacking in function that anyone telling you to be responsible in any way is actually abusing you.

18-19: You have immeasurable responsibility. You are fully developed adult and you should know everything by now. Anyone challenging you is probably a horrible person or trying to abuse you because they don’t recognize you’re an adult. Also, because you’re a fully responsible adult who is completely prepared for the world, any mistake you make will ruin you.

20-29: You should probably have a job, house, and family. Being on tumblr is weird and you shouldn’t post any of your opinions because you’re too pathetic to have a real full life. Unless you have the right opinions, then you’re a perfect genius.

Over 29: You should not be on tumblr. You’re an adult being savaged by the sands of time. Your body is frail and covered in wrinkles and death. Everything you think is irrelevant. You’re so old that everything you saw as a child is completely and totally outdated. If you even talk to a child you’re either an abuser or pedophile.