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@jimothystransition
13 years on testosterone as of yesterday! Babyface is transient, jumpers are forever, apparently.
The journey has been markedly different from what I imagined when I first realised I was trans (nearly 20 years ago, christ), and my relationship to being trans has developed a lot in that time, too. But I'm living a future that I don't think pre-T me dared to hope was possible.
And while I'm here, I'm going to share a few #TransJoy selfies from the past few months, and there's not a thing you can do to stop me.
An update
How has it been over eight years since I last posted here? Madness.
Anyway, a relatively quick, reflective update, because I'm a couple of days away from being 12 years post op and 13 years on testosterone, which both seem like obscene periods of time.
So much has changed since I was last here. I spent quite a lot of the intervening eight years in a kind of holding pattern, so it's even more wild to me that my life is in many ways unrecognisable. I've been skimming old posts from here where I was agonising about whether to proceed with stage 2+ of meta, agonising about feeling I could never be in a relationship for the right reasons, etc., etc., and I just want to go back and tell past me that it really does get better. So I guess the next best thing is coming on here and telling anyone who's still actually using tumblr that it gets better.
I never went ahead with further stages of meta, and it's very unlikely I ever will. I just don't feel the need. I did eventually clamber through the red tape to get a hysterectomy last summer, and it was surprisingly liberating. So, as far as I'm concerned, I'm done cooking. I still take testosterone, but a relatively low dose, because I'm happy with where I am physically. Having been quite strongly on the binary/transmedicalist side of the fence early in transition, I've relaxed a lot as I've become more secure in myself. I no longer hold those views, and mostly consider myself nonbinary these days. That's something that could be unpacked in more detail, but I won't delve into it right now.
I've been deliberately and voluntarily single for almost all of the past thirteen years. I was nominally in a relationship for my first few months on testosterone, but the relationship had almost entirely broken down by then, and I thought for a very long time that I couldn't inflict myself on other people/that I could never be accepted within the gay community. But about six months ago, a chance encounter with a guy in a pub led me down a rabbithole that led to grindr, and not to put too fine a point on it, but I've finally entered my slut era. Better late than never. The experience has been genuinely revolutionary. Being this far into transition, I'm comfortable and secure in my body in a way that I never imagined could be possible, and have also learned that there are a lot of open-minded gay guys out there.
So, all in all, things are going well. Maybe I'll post some actual comparisons in the near future, or maybe I'll forget this blog exists again. Who knows? Not I! But since I was here, thought I might as well give a potted history of the last few years, and again, emphasise that things really can get better.
Hi! How did you document you numbness changes? Like what website did you use to draw over your chest? Thank you!
I didn’t use a website, I just used drew over a photo using this application.
Just a quick comparison because otherwise I’m going to forget!
Age 17 - mostly closeted
Age 24 - living as male for just over 6 years, and 4 years on testosterone (today!)
It’s been a pretty wild few years, and I’m not really where I want to be yet, but as the saying goes, thank god I’m not where I was.
3 years post op with Andrew Yelland!
Incidentally - wow, it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, really. Things have obviously slowed down quite a lot as far as ‘interesting’ transition things go, but nonetheless, I should post a bit of an update on the past... year and a half... at some point!
Three years post top surgery today! Will probably post pictures a bit later on today.
A little under 2 years 3 months post op. I’m pleased with how things are looking considering I’ve put on 4 stone since surgery - trying to lose it again and get some definition back, though!
How the scars look massively depends on how the light hits them. I think they’ll look lighter in a ‘relaxed’ state once I’ve lost weight, because at the moment they’re in shadow a bit when my arms are by my sides, which makes them look a lot darker.
Tidying up my music folders this morning, I came across a voice comparison I did like 6 months ago and forgot to share. You’ll have to excuse my shitty voice and the fact I kind of made up the words as I went along, but I honestly can’t believe the first voice was ever mine, damn.
Balls, meant to post this on here... Never mind!
I have y second psych assessment for top surgery at CX coming up. I want to go with Yelland. After your second appointment what was then involved? Is it complicated/stressful? How long did it take? Anything I should take into account? (Just trying to prepare myself).
Hi!
It shouldn’t be too complicated, no - it might be a bit stressful, though, depending on how well you cope with waiting.
After my second assessment, I was verbally given the go-ahead for surgery. I then had to wait for the referral to be written, and a copy to be sent to me and Mr Yelland. Unfortunately in my case there was some kind of admin foul-up and the referral never got written, so I had to chase them up the week before surgery (I had booked my date in advance of being actually referred, which you’re not allowed to do now) and make all kinds of threats until they wrote the referral and emailed it directly to me and the surgeon.
What should happen, and almost always does (I don’t know of anyone who’s had such a weird situation since the new protocol came in in 2013) is that your clinician confirms in the appointment which surgeon you want, and agrees to refer you and get your other clinician to sign as well. You then wait for a copy of your clinic letter and the referral letter (some clinicians claim they treat surgery referrals as priority, but it will still take at least two weeks usually, and most people end up waiting 6-8 with CHX). When you get your copy, you contact Mr Yelland’s secretary to check they’ve also received their copy, and you can usually book a date for pre-op consultation and surgery there and then if they have. You don’t have to sort out funding or anything yourself: it’s sorted out by the clinic and the surgeons (and top surgery is a core procedure, so there’s no chance of funding being denied). At the moment there’s around a 6 month wait from Mr Yelland receiving your referral to the actual surgery date, but this might change by the time you get referred (and if you can’t take the soonest available date, which is usually what they offer, they’re more than happy to book you in at a later date which is more convenient).
Hope this helps :)
Two years post op and my nipple decides now is the time to get horrendously itchy (with a side order of being too numb to satisfactorily scratch, but sensate enough to hurt when I try. )
The National Health Service is failing transgender people and is not treating them equally with other patients, medical chiefs have said.
For the love of god, do not read the comments. Unless you want to be enraged and upset.
I tried to get my gender changed on my uni system a few years back, but they claimed it was linked to HMRC records (patently untrue, but whatever, I couldn’t be bothered to argue so just left it). Since I got my GRC I’ve decided to just not mention being trans at all in sorting out my records, and it’s quite nice to be able to email someone saying ‘hey, this record says female and OBVIOUSLY should be male, change it please’ knowing I have the documentation to back it up without outing myself.
A week post op! Thought I might be safe to graduate from net pants and absurdly thick bandages to normal boxers today, but come this evening I’m in quite a lot of pain :(
Just sent my first ever unsolicited dick pic.
(It’s to the specialist nurse as I have a question about my dressings and stitches)
Email specialist nurse with four specific questions about post op care.
She answers two
Completely fails to acknowledge the other two.
Helpful.
