Jinisha

Psychologist who shares her musings

[jinishab]

Never expect someone who can't walk as much as you, to walk more than they can. It will only lead to your disappointment.

[jinishab]

Sometimes you are alone to redirect for the best and nothing else, have trust.

[jinishab]

Love yourself enough to let people come and go in your life.

Because people may stay and leave but you will always stay with yourself.

[jinishab]

Relationships can be deceiving when it comes to words because words don't have limitations.

There is a difference between action and words i.e. speaking and doing.

Focus more on the doing rather than the speech to help yourself understand relationships better.

[jinishab]

SPACE

Relationships require you to give space to each other rather than constantly being besides each other and keep talking.

The question is how much space looks like giving space, not making it look like your partner doesn't care?

Answer should be communicated and there would and should be trial and error of giving and receiving 'space'.

[jinishab]

Make time to converse with each other in a healthy way before it gets too late to mend the relationship.

Here are a few things you can start with:

• Manage your work

• Work your way to stress management

• Find ways to spend time together

• Use "I" statements that are neutral and/or positive

• Express your feelings rather than blaming the partner

[jinishab]

You weren't like this before...you can be the same

You could do this before...you could do it again

You weren't affected by things this much before...you can set healthier boundaries again

Change is good, it can make you stronger & learn things.

Change is good, Embrace it!!

[jinishab]

What to look for - similarities or differences?

Find certain non-negotiable similarities that are your certain values, beliefs, how a relationship should be, etc.

The rest you can always adjust or eliminate or come to a common point as a part of difference in a relationship.

Differences teach you to know and bring changes in your life while adjusting to the same. Similarities help you ground and grow together while helping you adjust the ups and downs of the differences & other challenges.

[jinishab]

A relationship is built by compromising, sacrificing & coming to a common agreed on point.

It's not built on compatibility, vibes, etc.

It's two completely different people having different values, belief systems and pasts which may or may not match.

It's more about enjoying the company, having similar ideas about a relationship and willing to compromise and work on the relationship.

Focus more on who is willing to build together rather than finding similarities or vibes.

[jinishab]

Intention - Action - Behavior

Person can intend anything & everything.

What the person does to maintain that intention matters.

How the person behaves and/or stays consistent with intention & action matters the most.

Notice everything instead of just one thing.

[jinishab]

If you have a long or rather specific list of non-negotiables that you are looking for in a partner to be then you will have to wait to find one.

It's because it narrows your prospects as many people view the online space as a medium to be casual rather than serious. Not that everyone isn't serious, but probably the percentage is lesser.

Wait till you find someone who you think fits your non-negotiables without doubting yourself.

You reject others and others reject you. Don't see this as your loss or someone trying to judge or offend you. See it as a process of elimination for others and yourself.

If you catch feelings, please give yourself time to process them and then move forward with the process.

Remember it's just individual choices, preferences and non-negotiables for their and your ideal partner. Nothing to personally do with you.

[jinishab]

Do yourself a favour, answer the question of who you want in life and how you envision your life to be if it is with your partner including life goals, partner qualities that are practical and non-negotiable.

Anyone that doesn't match that list should be eliminated even if it is hard to sometimes eliminate the person.

[jinishab]

Settling for less or someone that doesn't let you have happiness & emotional peace just because you're tired of looking for partners and the process of elimination and investing emotionally to see if the person is right fit is not helping you but harming you.

Think again!!

[jinishab]

Let 2025 be your year to love yourself, value yourself and believe in yourself.

[jinishab]

The biggest flex is to love yourself and keep loving yourself so that whe you have to choose yourself you can proudly choose yourself without guilt because that's always the right thing to do.

[jinishab]

Wedding season is running and we all use social media or have friends or family members whose wedding we attend or consume it from social media.

Now there's nothing wrong in consuming such content from social media or an actual wedding, but it depends on how much that affects you.

If you are single then you can feel overwhelmed and make you feel that you won't find 'the one' and insecure. This is the time to believe in yourself and love yourself even more. Spend time with yourself and people who love yourself. It's not the time to rush to find someone just because it's the season of marrying.

Look out for your non negotiables, your beliefs, values and needs in a relationship and marriage and see if you're getting the same when you meet your prospects. Love yourself and don't over-compromise, the right person will meet you at the right time.

[jinishab]

I love clicking nature and I love just clicking!! It makes me happy.