First one is during, second is finished, and 3rd is just some after thoughts
3 says: The reality is, meeting another like you means that youâll make me wish that youâd hurt me, Give me a reason to not love you. Iâve gotten better but your memory still hurts me. Iâve hurt many people but donât want to be hurt. A double standard. I hope you live a great life of happiness although I wish I didnât. I canât hate you and never will. (and wish I could)
You stare at me with those dead eyes. You used to so full of life, laughing and with a smile so bright. Here we are, with you cold and motionless and me shaking, hoping it isnât true. I didnât mean to, I swear! Things just⊠got out of hand..Â
I didnât expect you to die from shock!
I wish you killed me. Youâd hesitate like you always do.
You were always so naive until you werenât. Youâd rid of everyone who tried that except me.
âIt wasnât personalâ, they say, but its always.. personal.
You look at me, I look at you. One with tears streaked on their face. One with a gun in their hands.Â
The silence fills the air as your last words hang.Â
âThatâs what I get.â, as a single tear crosses their face.Â
I go home and wash up. I tried to at least.
I wanted to waterboard myself right there. Be done and be disposed of like the scum I am. I sit with the gun in my hands. It speaks of many things, all that i agree with.Â
                      Itâs been a week.
It will wait
It will not speak
Do you feel satiated?
Itâll be there, under your sheets.
Silence is all that is left
Along with those tapes you stored
âI wish you the very bestâ
âFor my loveâ, that hit my core
I know it is waiting and I am counting
My death by your cold hand, refuses to not be astounding.
Lil doodle of lanternette :3, design inspired by me failing to draw Charlie Brown with the paper bag (Mr.Sack) once or twice (;-;) and lampert from regretevator.
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