Love is a Triangle
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - ?Part 5?
Pairing: Double B x Reader
Genre: Angst, slight fluff, smut suggestion
Warning: swearing, mentions of cheating
We decided to visit a little fair on their day off. It was a Thursday and the weather was very pleasing, not too hot and not too cold, just on point. Hanbin won two plushies for me and when Jiwon saw that he was so good at those shooting and hitting games, he got competitive and started to play too, which was extremely funny because I watched him get cocky because of our boyfriend and I won one more plushie. We stopped by a food truck on our way out of the marketplace. Hanbin ordered for all of us, and mine and his order were made first. We both got out of the line since there were a lot of people around the truck, and we waited for Jiwon. When he was about to come in our direction, a girl approached him and he widened his eyes and parted his lips, static. I couldn’t hear anything but I didn’t like the way she was smiling nor the way he was reacting to her words. I knew right away that wasn’t a fan. Hanbin saw it too and he widened his eyes just like Jiwon did when he saw her. I am right, they know her.
- Who is she? - I look at Hanbin.
- That’s...Myung-Hee. His first love. - His answer hit like a needle on my chest. Not just what he said, the way he said it concerned me the most. I’m worried since I’ve heard her name before from his mouth, when he told me how Jiwon had such a hard time on forgetting about her. We talked about brief moments on the ‘first love topic’ and everyone knows our first love is the one who stays in your heart forever, the one you can’t erase because it’s our first experience with love itself, which makes it so special. It’s normal but if the ending is bad...that stays, and stinks. Jiwon had that bad luck.
- What is she doing here? - I ask, innocently and with a firm, slightly threatening voice.
- Why don’t you ask him? - Hanbin smiles poorly at Jiwon finding our way back to us with a rushed pace.
- Hey. Here’s my food. - He smiles, raising his fish cake, and we start walking to go home.
I want to talk, even though I’m waiting for him to speak without making me ask. Hanbin and I create a suffocating silence and he finally breaks it. - I know you saw it. - He looks at us but we limit ourselves by watching our steps. - And I’m shocked like you. She’s...I don’t know why she’s here, I thought she was living in Australia. I didn’t even know what to say to her when I saw her.
- But, she did know what to say to you. - I insinuate.
- Yeah...
- What did she say? - Hanbin faces him.
- She asked how I was doing and she told me sometimes she checks on me when I’m trending on social media.
I nod. I feel so powerless. I know he’s going to think about her the rest of the week now. I know I’m going to, too. Why did she appear again? Why did she talk to him? Doesn’t she understand how much she hurt him back then? It’s unbelievable how we forget about someone and they come back to remind us.
Jiwon told us how she had to check that it was him before she approached him since “he changed so much” after six years. I mean, duh, what did she expect? Hanbin asked how he was feeling after seeing her and Jiwon answered he was nostalgic and surprised.
I had some questions myself, yet I kept quiet until we got home and had some privacy.
- Summer, you’ve been silent all the way home. Are you okay? - Jiwon anticipates.
- The reason you broke up… - I want to complete my sentence however he does it for me.
- Was because I loved her more than she loved me. I told you that.
- Yes, although...did she cheat on you with the other guy?
- The other guy she started dating after me?
- Yes.
- You know...I wasted two years of my life asking me all kinds of questions about our relationship. Like you right now, I didn’t understand what she said to me. When she was breaking up with me, she told me and I quote “...my love for you has faded. I can tell you still love me and I could always tell that you’ve always loved me more than I loved you. And I once told you that your expectations were too high to see the truth. I told you that I wasn’t who you saw but eventually you convinced me to love you, but that’s over now.” With this, you can go on various paths of thoughts. I thought she was cheating on me too, but maybe she wasn’t. She was right, I was blind on my love for her. I ignored all the times she could’ve supported me and she chose not to. I loved her with everything I had and it was clearly a mistake because she didn’t do the same for me.
- Ji… - I hug him and he chuckles.
- It’s okay, it happens. I was young, it’s water under the bridge.
- Is it? - Hanbin asks.
- Yes. I love you now, the past doesn’t matter. This made me find you guys and I’m grateful for that.
- I love you. You know that we love you equally, right? - I make sure he hears it.
- Yes, bae. I never doubted you. - That answer made me instantly in a better mood.
- Now that we’re done with this conversation, Chanwoo invited us to go bowling tonight. - Hanbin takes his phone out of the pocket. - What do I answer?
- Tell him no! - Jiwon startles me with the exclamation.
- Why? - I raise my eyebrow.
- This is our first day-off in months and he wants to hang out like we don’t see him everyday? - Jiwon rolls his eyes.
- Babe, that’s kind of harsh. Don’t you think? - Hanbin says, surprised by his comment. - Besides, it’s with Jinhwan and Junhoe, too.
- It’s not harsh, I’m just saying I’d prefer to be with my partners today.
- Okay, that’s fine. - I say. I give Hanbin a look to leave Jiwon alone for a little bit.
- Alright, I’ll tell him we can’t go. - Hanbin texts Chanwoo and goes to our bedroom.
He said he’s fine but he’s clearly affected by meeting her again. I don’t blame him, he knows that we’re here for him. I just wish she hadn’t shown up on our lives.
- I have to stop by the broadcasting station to do something. See you later.
- What? I thought we would spend the whole day together. - Jiwon turns to me.
- We still have many hours left when I get back. We can eat dinner and watch a movie after I finish it.
- Hm, okay, but give me a kiss before you go. - I lean at him on the couch to reach his lips. - Hanbin I’m gonna head out! - I scream. He comes running to the hall, now with his sweatpants instead of his jeans.
- What? You’re leaving?
- I need to do some work, I’ll be back before dinner.
- No… - He says lowly.
- Bye baby. - I kiss him and get out.
I choose to drive myself to work instead of calling our driver. It will take less time and I just want to finish it as soon as possible.
Fortunately I had to do this, because after I saw her, she’s the only thing in my mind and I have to distract myself, otherwise I’ll go crazy. The way this is affecting Jiwon is worrying me: Answering without thinking and then being clingy with us. It’s like he’s frustrated with others but trying to compensate it with giving us attention. It’s probably his manner to tell us we have nothing to worry about and that he loves us so we don’t need to be jealous. It won’t work, but at least it’s kind of cute to see how he cares about our feelings. He’s so selfless sometimes…
I finish everything in time for dinner. When I get home, Jiwon is cooking and Hanbin is setting the table.
- Welcome home! - They greet me.
- It smells good. - I direct myself to the kitchen.
- It’s done, let’s eat. - Jiwon turns the stove off and takes the two pans to the table.
- Did you do a broadcast today? We didn’t turn the radio on. - Hanbin grabs a full spoon of kimchi rice.
- You know I don’t talk in them, I just prepare the songs.
- I know, but I like to see everything that you do.
- You’re so lame sometimes. - I laugh.
- I’m in love. - He’s right. Hanbin’s first loves are me and Jiwon. He says things like these because he never said it to someone before, he never experienced this, it’s a fresh love, a new emotion to him. Sometimes that scares me.
The rest of the week passes by smoothly. iKON is preparing for their comeback and I’m working harder since a lot of people on my job are on vacation so I have to broadcast full night sessions because no one will be there to entertain the listeners with conversation.
I’m grabbing my coffee after work, which means it’s 6:45 pm. I stop by a newsstand to see if it has the monthly magazine that I read yet, since it’s the beginning of the month, but instead, I read something that catches me by surprise. I have to check it three times before I believe it. I look at the picture, yet my heart is telling me it’s not true. As soon as I notice the owner of the place is about to recognize me, I cover my face and walk away in a fast pace.
9:43 am
- Bobby, you have to be careful. I’m warning you, I don’t want something like this to happen again. Don’t make yourself frowned upon, you’re a good guy. - The YG CEO says.
- Yes, I’m sorry, sir. I won’t. - Jiwon leaves the office and goes back to the room where the iKon members are working at, which is chaotic with loud whispers and hand gestures:
“I don’t know how he thought he wouldn’t get caught.”
Jiwon sees Jinhwan doing a facepalm.
“Shut up now, he’s coming!”
As soon as he enters, the chaos turns to a tense and awkward silence.
When Jiwon looks at Hanbin, he has a death glare on his face that Jiwon only sees when Hanbin is super annoyed. That’s how he knows he messed up. However, he composes himself together. - Okay, let’s get to work. - He joins his hands together and the group prepares themselves.
Donghyuk plays the song so they can practice. The movements are slow at the beginning and there’s no trouble until the song grows and Hanbin goes in front of the mirror to watch them dance.
- Junhoe, keep going. - He says, and after that notices Jiwon isn’t doing it right. - Jiwon, slow down. - He does as told, but then he goes off beat again and his movements don’t match with the rest of the group. - Jiwon. - He calls him out once more.
He sighs and tries again.
- Jiwon, I told you to slow down, can’t you hear the rhythm? - Hanbin’s annoyed.
- I’m sorry. - He apologizes, staring at his feet.
- Do you want to play it again? - Junhoe asks.
- Yes please. - They do and Jiwon is out of focus once again. It’s understandable since he was just scolded at, but Hanbin loses his patience. - I know you’re not listening to the song. Can you try to focus? We’re having trouble because of you.
- I can’t. - Jiwon is static and frustrated.
- You can, we’ve practiced this dance a million times.
- Should I stop playing it? - The song keeps playing and Junhoe sees everyone stopped because of them two.
- No, let’s continue, Jiwon just do it again. - Hanbin seems careless.
- I told you I can’t right now. Please listen to me. - Jiwon’s sad voice is getting strict.
- Guys, maybe we should come back later. - Jinhwan realizes the fight is becoming personal and wants to step back.
- You can’t but you have to, we’re working. - Hanbin keeps his figure.
- Please let me talk to you first.
- We’re practicing, we’re group mates right now, this is not the place to talk, we’ll talk at home. - Hanbin reminds him of their situation. - You’ve been keeping this secret since last week, can’t you wait a little longer? - Hanbin starts to get worked up.
- Look Hanbin, I’m sorry! - He gets closer to him and the boys watch them quietly. - I’m sorry, alright? - He says, loud.
- We should go, come on. - Yunhyeong whispers and they discreetly leave the room.
- Why didn’t you tell us you were having lunch with her? - Hanbin shoots.
- I...didn’t want you to be worried. I knew you would be like this. I knew it!
- Of course I would react like this, she’s your ex! Worse, she’s your first love. You know what that means and I know it too, I’m feeling it right now! - Hanbin yells. - Just tell me what were you thinking when you didn’t tell us you were meeting her again. Tell me how could you make me find out this way. - Hanbin rambles. - I knew something was up yesterday! I knew it! You avoided me and looked the other way all morning and when I asked where you were when lunch time came, nobody knew where you were! They thought you were with Donghyuk but then he appeared so I thought “oh, maybe he forgot something at home”. - Hanbin looks him in the eyes waiting for a regretful answer.
- I didn’t know you were going to find out this way, I didn’t see any paparazzi. I was going to tell you…- Jiwon’s calm and failing voice is irritating Hanbin.
- You were going to tell me when? These people are everywhere so these things happen! They want society to see our flaws! Oh God, Jiwon. - Hanbin starts walking back and forth. - Do you know what I thought this morning when I heard this? I didn’t believe it, I didn’t believe someone could be that dumb, seriously, Donghyuk had to show me the picture so I could see you two were really together. You know you’re on the papers, right? Social media too. I guess you know that, considering the CEO talked to you. - Hanbin looks at him. - Jesus, you realize Summer probably saw it too? She works with the media, Jiwon. On the fucking radio. And if she didn’t see it yet, she will.
- I know...do you think she really saw it? - Jiwon’s guilt is growing and his face is sadder. - She will think I cheated on her...and on you… - Hanbin covers his face, concerned. Jiwon sighs and starts crying. - What do I do…? - Hanbin subtly looks at him.
- Babe you can still call her. Maybe she didn’t see it, I mean, it came to us first because it’s about you. It’s YG’s business.
- But it’s everywhere, like you said, if she didn’t see it, she will. Besides, I don’t want to do this over the phone. - Jiwon runs his fingers through his hair. - Oh God. - He gets up, wondering around, lost.
Someone of the staff knocks on the door to warn them to continue the schedule. Jiwon wipes his tears off.
- We’ll talk better at home. - Hanbin grabs Jiwon’s shoulder.
7:03 pm
I get home, alone, devastated by the news I kept overthinking on the car. The moment I drop my keys in the little plate, I let my body sink in the couch and I wait for them. I turn the TV on but I don’t pay attention to even what channel I’m watching. I limit on calming myself down so when they get here, I don’t seem too upset since I want to understand what Jiwon has to say. About an hour and a few minutes later, I hear the door open and the tinkling of the keys along with some whispers. They get to the living room and I welcome them, getting up off the couch.
- How was your day, baby? - They give me a kiss on a cheek.
- Good. - I answer. - How was yours?
- Wait, you don’t want to specify what you did? - Jiwon says, slightly nervous.
- No, it was a normal day. - I fake my answer. - How was your day?
Hanbin gives Jiwon a look so he can go ahead and tell me. - We...worked! - Jiwon smiles.
- Oh. - I fake a smile.
- Yeah...but Summer, I have to tell you something. - He gulps and takes my hand to sit us down. - Last week, when I saw Myung-Hee, she later on Friday asked me to have lunch with her yesterday...so I did. I just wanted to know how she was doing and maybe be in peace with her on my head. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys, I clearly paid for it this morning. Everyone is upset at me on the company and they’re right, I wasn’t careful and I didn’t think.
- “Be in peace with her” ? - Hanbin whispers in an irritated voice.
- I know. You didn’t. - They look at me, confused. - I know everything. - I nod. - I read it on a magazine after work. I didn’t know till I got my coffee. I know what you’re thinking, I don’t usually drink coffee at that time but today I did, and now I wish I didn’t. It’s funny how things work.
- Summer, I’m sorry. I feel so bad, are you upset? - His concerned face surfaces.
- I’m upset you hid this from us. How could you? You lied to us, Jiwon. Let me ask you, if it wasn’t out by the paparazzis, were you going to tell us at all?
- I was. Yesterday. - He looks away.
- Oh really? Because I don’t recall you telling me this yesterday.
- I… - He stutters. - Hanbin was tired and when we got home I couldn’t just…
- So you waited for the magazines to do it for you? - I pop a senseless question.
- I didn’t know there were magazines in the first place!
- Oh then next time, when you meet her again, make sure, yeah? - I cross my arms and I get up, looking to the other side of the room.
- Baby… - Jiwon reaches for me and tries to hug me but I push him away. - I’m not going to meet her again. - He grabs my arms and looks at me.
- Like I could believe you after you lied. - I look away.
- He’s not. - Hanbin finally breaks his silence.
- How do you know? Why are you so quiet? - I start shooting questions against him. - You knew about this, didn’t you? - Hanbin frowns by my question. - You boys always exclude me from everything. Just because I’m not with you all day like you two are.
- Summer, you know that’s not true! And I didn’t know! I found out when the staff asked how I was doing after “the Bobby thing”. I was clueless. I felt exactly like you did but it was this morning! You have to understand I had all day to think about this.
I feel my eyes get watery and it’s not long until tears start running down my cheeks. He’s right, my feelings are more fresh, my anger is building up and I’m being jealous for every little thing I can find.
- Baby. - Jiwon calls me, worried and regretful.
- I’m sorry, Bin. - I wipe my tears. - It was probably harder for you. - I recognize my mistake to judge him. - Could you work today at all? Everyone was probably asking you all sorts of questions or giving you looks. - I get concerned.
- Yes, they were. - Jiwon watches us talk. - But I had to pretend everything was okay so we could keep the schedule going. I admit in the morning we fought, but we’re talking better here with you at home.
- Babes, listen to me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.
- Jiwon you have to understand you didn’t put just you at risk. You put you, me, Summer and iKON. - He enumerates the amount of people with his fingers. - You saw how difficult it was to practice today. I know I said this already but you were so dumb.
- I know. I apologized to the CEO.
- Irresponsible. - He continues. - Just because of her. What did you get from this lunch, besides problems, anyway?
- Yes, what was that “be in peace with her in my head”? - I come back to this. - You assured to us last week that the past didn’t matter, so why did you say this earlier?
- I just wanted to know if I could see her as a friend and not someone who broke my heart for the first time. I know I said the past doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t, but sometimes she comes to my mind and I feel insecure. I feel like the 16 year-old boy that met a pretty girl and fell in love with her, even though she didn’t fell for him.
Hanbin and I stay quiet for moment to take in what we heard.
- Ji, you know you grew up. And you know we love you.
- You’re not a boy. - Hanbin follows my sentences. - You are a wonderful man. I know this because we grew a lot together, I saw you become this confident and handsome person. Don’t make yourself think you’re the same as you were when you met her. You changed, for the best. Forget her. Forget the 16 year-old boy. Trust yourself now, and trust us. Trust that we love you and that you love us, that’s all that matters, nothing else.
Jiwon smiles by Hanbin’s beautiful words. - I’m sorry. I will say it until you both forgive me. I promise I won’t lie to you ever again even if I have the tendency to do it, I won’t hide things from you. I fucked up but I learned my lesson. I hate to see you mad at me.
I pout. - Alright, I forgive you.
Jiwon opens his arms for a hug, hoping we can accept it.
- Me too. - Hanbin hugs him and I join in.
- I hate it when you don’t tell me stuff. - I say, with one of my cheeks buried on Hanbin’s back, making my voice sound more innocent and cute.
- I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel left out. Ever. I love you so much. - Jiwon gives me a kiss on the cheek. - I won’t embarrass you like that again either, Bin. I’m going to apologize to the members tomorrow for delaying our practice. - He sighs. - I feel like a weight just lifted off my shoulders, thank you for forgiving me.
- Okay Jiwon, it’s forgotten, let’s just move on and relax and go to bed.
- You’re already sleepy? - Jiwon asks, suspicious.
- No. - I give him a smile.
Hanbin looks at Jiwon, takes off his shirt and goes after me, walking to our bedroom and I can hear Jiwon rushing himself to catch us before we start.