Synopsis: The crew of ZB1 travels the galaxy chasing money and dodging danger. But in a fractured galaxy haunted by war, they’ll find more than credits—love, betrayal, and the lingering ghosts of rebellion.
Word Count: 1.1K
A/N: This is a general info & character profile post for The Space In-Between, to help the world feel immersive 🌌
Preview / Masterlist / Prologue
🪐 WORLD INFO
The Great War: A galaxy-wide power struggle between merchants and royalty. Ended with the creation of the Intergalactic Planetary Council (IGPC).
IGPC: Council of planetary reps formed to avoid another galaxy war. Created the IGPF (Intergalactic Protection Force).
🛰️ IGPF Roles:
General: Council seat holders; galaxy-wide law authority.
Bounty Hunter: Capture criminals; failure results in a Mark of Death.
Assassin: Eliminates marked individuals.
Detective: Investigates sanctioned crimes.
Guard: Protects politicians.
Soldier: Executes orders from the IGPC.
Mark of Death: Symbol in a citizen's profile marking them as condemned.
Citizen Profile: Case file containing ID, class, job, history, origin planet, etc.
📊 Class System:
Royals – Treaty negotiators; untouchable by law.
Politicians – Elected planetary reps.
Benefactors – Resource-rich planet rulers.
Medical – Elite-approved healers with restricted access to tech.
Protection Force – Noble, emotionless enforcers.
Historians – Trackers of truth and lost archives.
Workers – Labor class, often enslaved or impoverished.
🌍 Types of Planets:
Sovereign: Ruled by Royals; peaceful.
Trade: Commerce hubs under IGPC.
Mining: Harsh merchant-run colonies.
🧑🚀 CREW PROFILES
🛸 Hanbin – Captain
Raised aboard various ships; separated from family young
Wants to keep the crew together
Desperate for reliable gigs to support them
🛡️ Jiwoong – Enforcer
Orphan, sold young and trained as an assassin
Bears scars from a brutal past
Still haunted by the girl he once loved and lost
👑 Zhang Hao – Runaway Royal
Fled from a mining-planet monarchy
Naïve about the galaxy's realities
Trying to find his place on the crew
📚 Matthew – Historian
Academic turned adventurer
Hunting for love—and ancient relics
Charming, observant, hopeless romantic
🩺 Taerae – Medic
Outlawed for illegal procedures done out of compassion
Seeks redemption while healing others
Stigmatized by authorities, but loved by the crew
🎭 Ricky – Distraction Specialist
Raised by courtesans; master of charisma
Flirts his way through danger
Essential to every heist plan
🖥️ Gyuvin – Hacker
Tech whiz with no formal training
Grew up rough on a trade planet
Brilliant at breaking through any system
🧭 Gunwook – Navigator
Quiet strength and loyalty define him
Raised with Gyuvin and Yujin
Dreams of being the crew’s shield
🔧 Yujin – Mechanic
Family-trained in the shipyards
Chose adventure over comfort
Still finds joy in watching stars drift by
A/N: Thank you for reading! Life has been hectic (school 😩), but I'm working on the next update. The prologue rewrite is almost ready—thanks for your patience! 🪐
summary: another one of y/n's overthinking and breaking down sessions. where she is slowly sabotaging her and hanbin's relationship, thinking she's slowing him down, that he's too good to her.
zerobaseone sung hanbin x fem! reader
genre: angst, fluff, overthinking
warning: break down, low self-esteem
not proof read
"why are you still with him? yeah he'll leave you anyway, he's too good for you"
"what the fuck? hanbin, why did you date this trash?"
"yeah, i'm way too good for her why did i stay all this time" hanbin said as he didn't look back at her.
"wait, hanbin!" y/n tried reaching for him but he's too far away.
y/n woke up, short breaths and tears brimming. she knew hanbin wouldn't leave her, but every damn time, she knew he was way too good and is better with someone that isn't her.
she stood up and went to the bathroom, slightly slapping her face. sobs could be heard.
why did he even reject alisas confession? why did he court me? his mom didn't even like me because i was slow-
"bub?" a sleepy precious voice cuts y/n's overthinking. "bub, i woke up hearing you cry" hanbin slowly told her. sitting down beside her in the sink.
"what did i tell you if you're breaking down?" hanbin hummed as he slowly put y/n's head on his shoulder. brushing strands of her hair as he continues humming.
"to wake you up, communicate, and cuddle," y/n said burying her head more onto his shoulder. "but-" "no buts, it's my responsibility to take care of you no matter what" "it's not that but.." hanbin encourage her to continue by patting her shoulder.
"is that…am i slowing you down?" "no bub, it's the opposite actually" "but your mom hates you because of me" "well… it's okay actually, i want to be with you not with her friend's daughter" "but she's better for you" "shush" hanbin peck her forehead.
"what about i made ramen and hot choco for us and we'll cuddle after" "that's a great idea"
both gently smile at each other.
hanbin was now sleeping, y/n couldn't help but smile at him. cuddling into him even more. "thank you and i love you" she quietly said as she close her eyes.
"and i love you too" hanbin quietly said as he snuggle y/n even more, content with her no matter what.
Warnings: mentions of homesickness, panic attacks, crying, inability to breathe, just angst warning!
[a/n]: i kind of just found this Hanbin pic in my phone and went oh... i need to write a Hanbin comfort fluff :") and now some time later i just found this in my drafts and wondered why i never posted it?
It had been a hard week for you. You'd been away from home for a month now and everything was hitting you now at once. Studying abroad on your own was not all colours and rainbows like you'd imagined, but involved a lot of homesickness and loneliness.
Now there you were, sitting outside a grocery store and having a panic attack in the middle of the street. You'd seen a snack that reminded you of something you enjoyed back home and you'd broken down, having trouble breathing. Forced to leave the store as your tears were streaming down and you didn't want to cause a scene, you went outside.That wasn't much better, as many people were walking around the busy street. Some staring at you, some ignoring you. You'd never felt as lonely and ignored as you did in that moment.
All you wanted was for someone to ask if you were okay. Maybe to give you a hug. To sit beside you and tell you that you would make it out of this feeling alright.
You weren't living in a drama, though. So you tried to cry as silently as you could, even though the heavy sobs were shaking your body.
"Are you... okay?" a voice asked. When you looked up, you thought you were dreaming. A boy was looking at your face, his eyebrows painting a worried expression on his face.
"I'm..." you tried to form a coherent sentence, but another sob came out.
The boy decided to sit next to you, his arm hovering behind your back before he decided it would be okay for him to hold you in a side hug. It was a bit uncomfortable and a little strange, but the warmth you felt from just his arm being around you was immeasurable.
Without meaning to, you rested your head on his chest, doing nothing but crying for a good five minutes.
"I'm not sure what happened... but things will get better soon, I promise. Even if it takes a longer time than you expect, it will get better."
These words were enough to help you calm down a bit and stop crying, at least. The boy had been rubbing circles around your back the whole time you cried, and as you calmed down now and sat up, he removed his arm.
"I'm sorry," you said, clearing your throat and wiping your face with the back of your hand.
"No, no why are you sorry? Here, have some water," he said, handing you a water bottle from his grocery bag.
"But you just bought this..."
"Yeah, and you're going to drink it. Water is for drinking; it isn't some kind of decoration!"
You laughed a little, taking the water and drinking a bit of it.
"Are you busy right now?" the boy asked you, cocking his head to one side.
You shook your head.
"I needed to buy some groceries, but I wasn't able to. That's all I needed to do... why?"
"If you want, we can go to a park nearby and just walk? If you'd like to do that? Get some air? Look at some... trees?"
The boy laughed at his own awkward tone of speech, and you laughed along.
"That sounds nice," you said.
"I'm Hanbin, by the way," the boy told you.
"I'm [y/n]."
"Nice to meet you," Hanbin said with a smile.
"Likewise, but I'm sorry we had to meet in these circumstances."
"Don't be sorry! But firstly... did something happen that I should be worried about?"
You shook your head.
"Just feeling a little homesick," you explained.
Hanbin nodded, clearly understanding the feeling quite well.
"It's hard to be away from home... It's so lonely, isn't it?"
You nod, your lip quivering slightly.
Hanbin carefully places a hand over yours.
"But you're never really alone. Even in places where no one knows you, there are people thinking and caring about you. I care about you... I know that sounds weird, but I don't mean it in a weird way-"
"I know, thank you... thank you so much."
Hanbin responds with a smile.
"Are you okay to go for a walk, then, [y/n]?"
"Only if you pay for my groceries," you joke.
[a/n]: reader!!! are you perhaps feeling a little lonely right now too? well, you're not alone anymore... i'm holding your hand right now from afar! here, grab it!! i love you, take care of yourself :)
You gasped softly when you glanced at your watch and saw what time it was.
If you had waited even a few seconds longer, you would have missed it.
But, as it was, you still had some time. So, you leaped out of your chair and dashed to the window in the front room of your townhouse, using two fingers to widen the slot between the blinds as inconspicuously as you could.
Your gaze shifted as far down the sidewalk as your window would allow, and when you saw the small, brown dog rounding the corner, your stomach flipped over itself.
Because the small, brown dog meant that he would follow.
And, sure enough, barely a second after you saw the dog -- whom you had named Teddy in your mind since he looked like a little teddy bear -- there he was.
You had no idea who he was. You didn’t know a name, an age, a location, a personality -- nothing. The only things you knew about this guy were that he was a dog walker, he took the same route every day, and he was somehow incredibly cute and incredibly handsome at the same time.
His dark hair that fell over his forehead just right. His slightly rounded cheeks that were just so pinchable. His square jawline and chin that added the perfect touch of sexiness to his face. His full lips that screamed to be kissed (not that you would kiss him because you didn’t know him, but boy did you imagine it). His straight nose that fit perfectly amongst his features.
And his eyes.
Oh my lord, those eyes.
They were never focused directly on you, of course, but you had caught enough glimpses of them to know that if they ever were... you would most likely faint on the spot.
But it wasn’t just his face that made him so captivating and alluring. The way he dressed was so effortless but so cool. And the way he walked kind of made it seem like he was a bumbling idiot but also like he knew exactly what he was doing.
Plus, as he’d passed your window one day, you’d heard him talking to the dog he was walking and it had almost made your heart beat right out of your chest.
It had sounded like he’d been having a full-on conversation with Teddy, and his tone of voice had been just about the cutest thing you’d ever heard.
If you ever did meet this guy in real life, you weren’t sure you would survive. And if you did, you certainly would never see or talk to him again because you would undoubtedly act like such a fool that he would stay as far away from you as he possibly could.
So... best to never even meet him. Or go outside to get your mail as he walked past.
You pressed your lips together, holding your breath as the guy and Teddy approached your window. Some days, it seemed like they were both walking in slow motion and you had all the time in the world to admire your dream man. Other days, it seemed like someone had pushed the fast forward button and the whole thing was over in the blink of an eye.
Today, blessedly, was a slow motion day.
Your forehead wrinkled as he loped down the sidewalk, his stride casual but purposeful. You bit back a squeal when you saw his mouth moving, murmuring some unknown words to Teddy (or whatever the dog’s actual name was).
And your eyes followed him like your life depended on it. As if you would actually cease to exist if you stopped watching him for even a millisecond.
And then, a few moments later, just the same as every other day... he was gone. He turned the corner at the other end of your block and vanished.
It was the highlight of your day, and yes, this was all incredibly concerning and upsetting. You were fawning over a guy you had literally never met. Literally never spoken one single word to. Literally did not even know you existed! And yet your heart began to hammer when you knew he was coming, and it sank when he was no longer visible from your window.
It was kind of like he was a celebrity you fangirled over... except he was just a normal guy. A dog walker. One who presumably lived in the same town.
But he was definitely as handsome as a celebrity!
...Still, though. You knew if you ever told anyone about this daily routine of yours -- about your secret crush on a guy whose name you didn’t even know -- they would judge you. Harshly. And for a long time. Probably until you stopped spying on him as he went about his work.
So... you never told anyone. You didn’t even talk about it out loud to yourself. You didn’t write anything in your journal, either! This whole situation was something you would take to your grave.
With a soft sigh of disappointment, you let go of your blinds, turned on your heel, and shuffled back to your computer. It was right smack-dab in the middle of your work day, after all, and now that you’d had your daily fix of Cute Dog Walker Guy... it was time to come back to reality.
You know how some people get into a very specific routine but they can’t even remember how that routine came about? Like, it just sort of happened one day and then it stuck and now it seems like it’s just always been a part of their life.
That’s not how it was with your routine.
You remembered exactly how it had first happened -- every little detail. Partly because you had the memory of an elephant and were extremely observant, but also because... I mean, how could you forget the first time you saw...
Was it too dramatic to say ‘the man of your dreams’?
Maybe?
Okay, fine, I’ll just say this: How could you forget the first time you saw Cute Dog Walker Guy?
Close enough.
It had all gone down about two months ago, on a Wednesday. You had just finished a particularly long, particularly stressful project at work, and you had stepped away from your home desk for a limb stretch and a brain break. And probably a snack.
The sun had been streaming in through the blinds, and you’d had a thought to go and open them, wanting to soak up a bit of vitamin D after being cooped up inside the entire morning.
And then you’d heard the barking.
If anything could put a smile on your otherwise grouchy face, it was a cute dog. And since you were the type of person to think just about any dog was cute, you scurried over to your window and, rather than pulling on the cord to lift the blinds up, you simply peeked through two of them to see if you could spot this yippy friend.
And, sure enough, you caught him trotting around the corner just in time.
You’d thought seeing this adorably fluffy brown dog would be the highlight of your day... but then the person walking him had come into view.
Basically, you’d known instantly that you were a goner.
The day after, you’d kept an ear and an eye out for both the dog and the dog walker, and much to your surprise and gratitude, you’d been rewarded.
And again the next day, and the day after, and the day after.
At first, you’d thought the fluffy brown dog belonged to him, but there were some days when he was joined by a scruffy tan dog and other days when he was joined by a smooth gray dog -- both of them so cute you thought your heart might burst. So, you had eventually come to the conclusion that he was a dog walker.
Many times, you had been tempted to try and look him up by searching for dog walking services in your area. But, somehow, you’d resisted.
First of all, you kind of enjoyed the mystery. Second of all, you didn’t have a dog, so there was really nothing you could do with any information you found on him besides stalk him on social media.
You already spied on the guy every single day. Wasn’t that enough?
Your plan was really just to continue waiting and watching as he walked by your townhouse for as long as he chose to walk by your townhouse. If he ever decided to take a different route, then... you would just move on, I guess? Maybe try to actually meet someone you might be interested in dating?
That sounded like a pretty solid plan.
But, as we all know, life very rarely ever goes according to plan. I mean, the instant any one of us thinks we’ve come up with a pretty solid plan, The Universe simply shakes its head and laughs.
Instead of watching Cute Dog Walker Guy go past your window every day, admiring him from afar and daydreaming about your life together, wondering how much time you had left to watch and admire and daydream...
Well, I might as well just stop trying to explain and actually tell you what happened.
It was Monday. You were slightly depressed because the weekend had been far too short, and honestly, who decided that a workweek should be five days long, anyway? You’d barely caught up on your sleep over the past two days, and now you were expected to work again? For five days straight? It wasn’t at all fair, and along with being slightly depressed, you were incredibly distracted.
Really, you were sitting at your desk waiting for Cute Dog Walker Guy time rather than actually even trying to work.
But such is life!
And when the time finally arrived, you were ready. You pushed your chair away from your desk, stood up, and tiptoed over to your window with a hopeful smile tugging at your lips.
Almost immediately after you peeked through your blinds, though, you knew something was different.
Instead of hearing the jingling tags of Teddy’s collar, you heard... yelling?
“No, no, no, stop!”
...That didn’t sound good.
Your eyes darted around, trying to see what could be causing Cute Dog Walker Guy (at least, you assumed it was him) to call out like this. And when your gaze finally landed on a squirrel scampering around on the sidewalk and climbing up up a stop sign, you couldn’t help but let out an amused giggle.
Finally, Teddy turned the corner, and he was joined by a brand new dog you’d never seen before -- a dark brown brindle dog who was tugging at his leash and hunting the squirrel as if his life depended on it.
Cute Dog Walker Guy stumbled behind, his brow furrowed deeply as he continued to call out after the dog, desperately attempting to get things under control.
Attempting... and failing.
The squirrel hunter had, apparently, tuned out everything in the world around him so he could focus on his prey and was now jumping up the stop sign pole and barking.
“No, please, be quiet!” Cute Dog Walker Guy pleaded.
The squirrel then jumped from the stop sign onto the trash can at the corner, and Squirrel Hunter leaped after him.
Cute Dog Walker Guy yelped as the dog yanked him forward, both leashes getting tangled up in the stop sign and the trash can.
And then Cute Dog Walker Guy fell to the ground.
Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open slightly, a soft but strangled yelp of concern emerging from your lips.
Oh, god.
What should you do?
I mean, obviously, your instinct was to run outside and help him! He was now sprawled on the ground, trying to keep hold of the two leashes while one dog was still wildly jumping and whining toward the squirrel.
But... wouldn’t that be weird?! If you just immediately showed up to help him?! He would know you’d been watching!
Although, maybe he wouldn’t care? I mean, it really looked like he needed help.
But what if --
“Owwww -- stop! Stop it!”
At hearing Cute Dog Walker Guy’s moan of pain, you fled from your window and skidded to the front door.
Prompt: “I wasn’t meant to find this, was I?” -- @challengingwords prompt #34
Pairing: Kim Hanbin x female reader
Genre: angst
Warnings: aside from being an emotionally driven angst piece, self-worth issues and lack of communication.
Word count: 676
You jumped with fright when you turned on the lights and found Hanbin sitting on the couch. “Jesus Christ, are you trying to put me in an early grave?”
There was no response, and you frowned, placing your bag down on the entryway table and stepped into your apartment you shared with your boyfriend. Approaching him, you grew concerned when he didn’t look up at you. “Hanbin?”
It was then when you saw the papers he held within his hands, your legs giving way underneath you.
“I wasn’t meant to find this, was I?” he asked in a voice unlike his own. Tears had sprung up in your eyes as he finally stared at you, his own expression strained. “Were you going to tell me about this on the day you left?!”
The truth was, you had been scared to tell him. Things between you and Hanbin had been too easy. Loving Hanbin and living with him was effortless. And in your experience, you had to work hard for everything you achieved.
There was a small part of you that considered Hanbin was your reward for your endless endurance. That there was finally something, someone good in your world after years of pain and suffering. You hadn’t believed you were worthy of love, even self-love was a hard concept for you to practice.
And yet, here you were a year into your relationship with Hanbin, and he had made you feel like he could pluck the stars out of the heavens if you requested him to.
At first, you were excited to share the news of your new job with your partner. This was a huge deal for you, something that you had dreamed for as long as you could remember. You had bought a bottle of champagne on the way home that night from work, ready to pop the cork and the news as soon as you got inside.
And then he had mentioned how his friend Donghyuk was struggling with his partner being overseas for work. Hanbin told you how hard it would be to be separated from you and how grateful he was to not have to worry as his friend was.
So you hid the celebration behind your back, vaguely humming in answer when Hanbin asked if you’d had a nice day.
Since then, you’d been trying to find the right time, except you never felt it arrive.
And now you were out of time altogether.
“How long have you known? Since you signed this contract two months ago or even earlier?” he asked, and you tried to clear your throat to answer, but another lump rose into the place of the last one. Your head hung low, your tears scattering over your lap in an uneven pattern.
Hanbin got up then, lording over you for a moment. You expected him to yell, to get angrier than he seemed. However, he let out a hoarse sob and your eyes travelled up to find his. He didn’t quite meet your gaze. “Had you told me about this sooner I could have made arrangements with work. I could have come with you. I could have, we could have…”
“We still can,” you feebly suggested, scooting forward and reached up for him. “Hanbin, I’m sorry. I just got scared about losing you, and I know I should have told you but-”
Hanbin held up the plane ticket confirmation attached to the contract. “You’re leaving in two weeks for a place halfway around the world for three years. How the fuck am I meant to deal with this knowledge?!”
“I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“You left it too late to tell me, is what you did. What do I even mean to you?”
“The world,” you pleaded, standing up and grappling onto his hands. They shook within your grip and felt as if they were too unstable to get a firm hold of.
Your world was crumbling.
Hanbin shook his head. “If I meant that much, you would have told me by now.”
We decided to visit a little fair on their day off. It was a Thursday and the weather was very pleasing, not too hot and not too cold, just on point. Hanbin won two plushies for me and when Jiwon saw that he was so good at those shooting and hitting games, he got competitive and started to play too, which was extremely funny because I watched him get cocky because of our boyfriend and I won one more plushie. We stopped by a food truck on our way out of the marketplace. Hanbin ordered for all of us, and mine and his order were made first. We both got out of the line since there were a lot of people around the truck, and we waited for Jiwon. When he was about to come in our direction, a girl approached him and he widened his eyes and parted his lips, static. I couldn’t hear anything but I didn’t like the way she was smiling nor the way he was reacting to her words. I knew right away that wasn’t a fan. Hanbin saw it too and he widened his eyes just like Jiwon did when he saw her. I am right, they know her.
- Who is she? - I look at Hanbin.
- That’s...Myung-Hee. His first love. - His answer hit like a needle on my chest. Not just what he said, the way he said it concerned me the most. I’m worried since I’ve heard her name before from his mouth, when he told me how Jiwon had such a hard time on forgetting about her. We talked about brief moments on the ‘first love topic’ and everyone knows our first love is the one who stays in your heart forever, the one you can’t erase because it’s our first experience with love itself, which makes it so special. It’s normal but if the ending is bad...that stays, and stinks. Jiwon had that bad luck.
- What is she doing here? - I ask, innocently and with a firm, slightly threatening voice.
- Why don’t you ask him? - Hanbin smiles poorly at Jiwon finding our way back to us with a rushed pace.
- Hey. Here’s my food. - He smiles, raising his fish cake, and we start walking to go home.
I want to talk, even though I’m waiting for him to speak without making me ask. Hanbin and I create a suffocating silence and he finally breaks it. - I know you saw it. - He looks at us but we limit ourselves by watching our steps. - And I’m shocked like you. She’s...I don’t know why she’s here, I thought she was living in Australia. I didn’t even know what to say to her when I saw her.
- But, she did know what to say to you. - I insinuate.
- Yeah...
- What did she say? - Hanbin faces him.
- She asked how I was doing and she told me sometimes she checks on me when I’m trending on social media.
I nod. I feel so powerless. I know he’s going to think about her the rest of the week now. I know I’m going to, too. Why did she appear again? Why did she talk to him? Doesn’t she understand how much she hurt him back then? It’s unbelievable how we forget about someone and they come back to remind us.
Jiwon told us how she had to check that it was him before she approached him since “he changed so much” after six years. I mean, duh, what did she expect? Hanbin asked how he was feeling after seeing her and Jiwon answered he was nostalgic and surprised.
I had some questions myself, yet I kept quiet until we got home and had some privacy.
- Summer, you’ve been silent all the way home. Are you okay? - Jiwon anticipates.
- The reason you broke up… - I want to complete my sentence however he does it for me.
- Was because I loved her more than she loved me. I told you that.
- Yes, although...did she cheat on you with the other guy?
- The other guy she started dating after me?
- Yes.
- You know...I wasted two years of my life asking me all kinds of questions about our relationship. Like you right now, I didn’t understand what she said to me. When she was breaking up with me, she told me and I quote “...my love for you has faded. I can tell you still love me and I could always tell that you’ve always loved me more than I loved you. And I once told you that your expectations were too high to see the truth. I told you that I wasn’t who you saw but eventually you convinced me to love you, but that’s over now.” With this, you can go on various paths of thoughts. I thought she was cheating on me too, but maybe she wasn’t. She was right, I was blind on my love for her. I ignored all the times she could’ve supported me and she chose not to. I loved her with everything I had and it was clearly a mistake because she didn’t do the same for me.
- Ji… - I hug him and he chuckles.
- It’s okay, it happens. I was young, it’s water under the bridge.
- Is it? - Hanbin asks.
- Yes. I love you now, the past doesn’t matter. This made me find you guys and I’m grateful for that.
- I love you. You know that we love you equally, right? - I make sure he hears it.
- Yes, bae. I never doubted you. - That answer made me instantly in a better mood.
- Now that we’re done with this conversation, Chanwoo invited us to go bowling tonight. - Hanbin takes his phone out of the pocket. - What do I answer?
- Tell him no! - Jiwon startles me with the exclamation.
- Why? - I raise my eyebrow.
- This is our first day-off in months and he wants to hang out like we don’t see him everyday? - Jiwon rolls his eyes.
- Babe, that’s kind of harsh. Don’t you think? - Hanbin says, surprised by his comment. - Besides, it’s with Jinhwan and Junhoe, too.
- It’s not harsh, I’m just saying I’d prefer to be with my partners today.
- Okay, that’s fine. - I say. I give Hanbin a look to leave Jiwon alone for a little bit.
- Alright, I’ll tell him we can’t go. - Hanbin texts Chanwoo and goes to our bedroom.
He said he’s fine but he’s clearly affected by meeting her again. I don’t blame him, he knows that we’re here for him. I just wish she hadn’t shown up on our lives.
- I have to stop by the broadcasting station to do something. See you later.
- What? I thought we would spend the whole day together. - Jiwon turns to me.
- We still have many hours left when I get back. We can eat dinner and watch a movie after I finish it.
- Hm, okay, but give me a kiss before you go. - I lean at him on the couch to reach his lips. - Hanbin I’m gonna head out! - I scream. He comes running to the hall, now with his sweatpants instead of his jeans.
- What? You’re leaving?
- I need to do some work, I’ll be back before dinner.
- No… - He says lowly.
- Bye baby. - I kiss him and get out.
I choose to drive myself to work instead of calling our driver. It will take less time and I just want to finish it as soon as possible.
Fortunately I had to do this, because after I saw her, she’s the only thing in my mind and I have to distract myself, otherwise I’ll go crazy. The way this is affecting Jiwon is worrying me: Answering without thinking and then being clingy with us. It’s like he’s frustrated with others but trying to compensate it with giving us attention. It’s probably his manner to tell us we have nothing to worry about and that he loves us so we don’t need to be jealous. It won’t work, but at least it’s kind of cute to see how he cares about our feelings. He’s so selfless sometimes…
I finish everything in time for dinner. When I get home, Jiwon is cooking and Hanbin is setting the table.
- Welcome home! - They greet me.
- It smells good. - I direct myself to the kitchen.
- It’s done, let’s eat. - Jiwon turns the stove off and takes the two pans to the table.
- Did you do a broadcast today? We didn’t turn the radio on. - Hanbin grabs a full spoon of kimchi rice.
- You know I don’t talk in them, I just prepare the songs.
- I know, but I like to see everything that you do.
- You’re so lame sometimes. - I laugh.
- I’m in love. - He’s right. Hanbin’s first loves are me and Jiwon. He says things like these because he never said it to someone before, he never experienced this, it’s a fresh love, a new emotion to him. Sometimes that scares me.
The rest of the week passes by smoothly. iKON is preparing for their comeback and I’m working harder since a lot of people on my job are on vacation so I have to broadcast full night sessions because no one will be there to entertain the listeners with conversation.
I’m grabbing my coffee after work, which means it’s 6:45 pm. I stop by a newsstand to see if it has the monthly magazine that I read yet, since it’s the beginning of the month, but instead, I read something that catches me by surprise. I have to check it three times before I believe it. I look at the picture, yet my heart is telling me it’s not true. As soon as I notice the owner of the place is about to recognize me, I cover my face and walk away in a fast pace.
9:43 am
- Bobby, you have to be careful. I’m warning you, I don’t want something like this to happen again. Don’t make yourself frowned upon, you’re a good guy. - The YG CEO says.
- Yes, I’m sorry, sir. I won’t. - Jiwon leaves the office and goes back to the room where the iKon members are working at, which is chaotic with loud whispers and hand gestures:
“I don’t know how he thought he wouldn’t get caught.”
Jiwon sees Jinhwan doing a facepalm.
“Shut up now, he’s coming!”
As soon as he enters, the chaos turns to a tense and awkward silence.
When Jiwon looks at Hanbin, he has a death glare on his face that Jiwon only sees when Hanbin is super annoyed. That’s how he knows he messed up. However, he composes himself together. - Okay, let’s get to work. - He joins his hands together and the group prepares themselves.
Donghyuk plays the song so they can practice. The movements are slow at the beginning and there’s no trouble until the song grows and Hanbin goes in front of the mirror to watch them dance.
- Junhoe, keep going. - He says, and after that notices Jiwon isn’t doing it right. - Jiwon, slow down. - He does as told, but then he goes off beat again and his movements don’t match with the rest of the group. - Jiwon. - He calls him out once more.
He sighs and tries again.
- Jiwon, I told you to slow down, can’t you hear the rhythm? - Hanbin’s annoyed.
- I’m sorry. - He apologizes, staring at his feet.
- Do you want to play it again? - Junhoe asks.
- Yes please. - They do and Jiwon is out of focus once again. It’s understandable since he was just scolded at, but Hanbin loses his patience. - I know you’re not listening to the song. Can you try to focus? We’re having trouble because of you.
- I can’t. - Jiwon is static and frustrated.
- You can, we’ve practiced this dance a million times.
- Should I stop playing it? - The song keeps playing and Junhoe sees everyone stopped because of them two.
- No, let’s continue, Jiwon just do it again. - Hanbin seems careless.
- I told you I can’t right now. Please listen to me. - Jiwon’s sad voice is getting strict.
- Guys, maybe we should come back later. - Jinhwan realizes the fight is becoming personal and wants to step back.
- You can’t but you have to, we’re working. - Hanbin keeps his figure.
- Please let me talk to you first.
- We’re practicing, we’re group mates right now, this is not the place to talk, we’ll talk at home. - Hanbin reminds him of their situation. - You’ve been keeping this secret since last week, can’t you wait a little longer? - Hanbin starts to get worked up.
- Look Hanbin, I’m sorry! - He gets closer to him and the boys watch them quietly. - I’m sorry, alright? - He says, loud.
- We should go, come on. - Yunhyeong whispers and they discreetly leave the room.
- Why didn’t you tell us you were having lunch with her? - Hanbin shoots.
- I...didn’t want you to be worried. I knew you would be like this. I knew it!
- Of course I would react like this, she’s your ex! Worse, she’s your first love. You know what that means and I know it too, I’m feeling it right now! - Hanbin yells. - Just tell me what were you thinking when you didn’t tell us you were meeting her again. Tell me how could you make me find out this way. - Hanbin rambles. - I knew something was up yesterday! I knew it! You avoided me and looked the other way all morning and when I asked where you were when lunch time came, nobody knew where you were! They thought you were with Donghyuk but then he appeared so I thought “oh, maybe he forgot something at home”. - Hanbin looks him in the eyes waiting for a regretful answer.
- I didn’t know you were going to find out this way, I didn’t see any paparazzi. I was going to tell you…- Jiwon’s calm and failing voice is irritating Hanbin.
- You were going to tell me when? These people are everywhere so these things happen! They want society to see our flaws! Oh God, Jiwon. - Hanbin starts walking back and forth. - Do you know what I thought this morning when I heard this? I didn’t believe it, I didn’t believe someone could be that dumb, seriously, Donghyuk had to show me the picture so I could see you two were really together. You know you’re on the papers, right? Social media too. I guess you know that, considering the CEO talked to you. - Hanbin looks at him. - Jesus, you realize Summer probably saw it too? She works with the media, Jiwon. On the fucking radio. And if she didn’t see it yet, she will.
- I know...do you think she really saw it? - Jiwon’s guilt is growing and his face is sadder. - She will think I cheated on her...and on you… - Hanbin covers his face, concerned. Jiwon sighs and starts crying. - What do I do…? - Hanbin subtly looks at him.
- Babe you can still call her. Maybe she didn’t see it, I mean, it came to us first because it’s about you. It’s YG’s business.
- But it’s everywhere, like you said, if she didn’t see it, she will. Besides, I don’t want to do this over the phone. - Jiwon runs his fingers through his hair. - Oh God. - He gets up, wondering around, lost.
Someone of the staff knocks on the door to warn them to continue the schedule. Jiwon wipes his tears off.
I get home, alone, devastated by the news I kept overthinking on the car. The moment I drop my keys in the little plate, I let my body sink in the couch and I wait for them. I turn the TV on but I don’t pay attention to even what channel I’m watching. I limit on calming myself down so when they get here, I don’t seem too upset since I want to understand what Jiwon has to say. About an hour and a few minutes later, I hear the door open and the tinkling of the keys along with some whispers. They get to the living room and I welcome them, getting up off the couch.
- How was your day, baby? - They give me a kiss on a cheek.
- Good. - I answer. - How was yours?
- Wait, you don’t want to specify what you did? - Jiwon says, slightly nervous.
- No, it was a normal day. - I fake my answer. - How was your day?
Hanbin gives Jiwon a look so he can go ahead and tell me. - We...worked! - Jiwon smiles.
- Oh. - I fake a smile.
- Yeah...but Summer, I have to tell you something. - He gulps and takes my hand to sit us down. - Last week, when I saw Myung-Hee, she later on Friday asked me to have lunch with her yesterday...so I did. I just wanted to know how she was doing and maybe be in peace with her on my head. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys, I clearly paid for it this morning. Everyone is upset at me on the company and they’re right, I wasn’t careful and I didn’t think.
- “Be in peace with her” ? - Hanbin whispers in an irritated voice.
- I know. You didn’t. - They look at me, confused. - I know everything. - I nod. - I read it on a magazine after work. I didn’t know till I got my coffee. I know what you’re thinking, I don’t usually drink coffee at that time but today I did, and now I wish I didn’t. It’s funny how things work.
- Summer, I’m sorry. I feel so bad, are you upset? - His concerned face surfaces.
- I’m upset you hid this from us. How could you? You lied to us, Jiwon. Let me ask you, if it wasn’t out by the paparazzis, were you going to tell us at all?
- I was. Yesterday. - He looks away.
- Oh really? Because I don’t recall you telling me this yesterday.
- I… - He stutters. - Hanbin was tired and when we got home I couldn’t just…
- So you waited for the magazines to do it for you? - I pop a senseless question.
- I didn’t know there were magazines in the first place!
- Oh then next time, when you meet her again, make sure, yeah? - I cross my arms and I get up, looking to the other side of the room.
- Baby… - Jiwon reaches for me and tries to hug me but I push him away. - I’m not going to meet her again. - He grabs my arms and looks at me.
- Like I could believe you after you lied. - I look away.
- He’s not. - Hanbin finally breaks his silence.
- How do you know? Why are you so quiet? - I start shooting questions against him. - You knew about this, didn’t you? - Hanbin frowns by my question. - You boys always exclude me from everything. Just because I’m not with you all day like you two are.
- Summer, you know that’s not true! And I didn’t know! I found out when the staff asked how I was doing after “the Bobby thing”. I was clueless. I felt exactly like you did but it was this morning! You have to understand I had all day to think about this.
I feel my eyes get watery and it’s not long until tears start running down my cheeks. He’s right, my feelings are more fresh, my anger is building up and I’m being jealous for every little thing I can find.
- Baby. - Jiwon calls me, worried and regretful.
- I’m sorry, Bin. - I wipe my tears. - It was probably harder for you. - I recognize my mistake to judge him. - Could you work today at all? Everyone was probably asking you all sorts of questions or giving you looks. - I get concerned.
- Yes, they were. - Jiwon watches us talk. - But I had to pretend everything was okay so we could keep the schedule going. I admit in the morning we fought, but we’re talking better here with you at home.
- Babes, listen to me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.
- Jiwon you have to understand you didn’t put just you at risk. You put you, me, Summer and iKON. - He enumerates the amount of people with his fingers. - You saw how difficult it was to practice today. I know I said this already but you were so dumb.
- I know. I apologized to the CEO.
- Irresponsible. - He continues. - Just because of her. What did you get from this lunch, besides problems, anyway?
- Yes, what was that “be in peace with her in my head”? - I come back to this. - You assured to us last week that the past didn’t matter, so why did you say this earlier?
- I just wanted to know if I could see her as a friend and not someone who broke my heart for the first time. I know I said the past doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t, but sometimes she comes to my mind and I feel insecure. I feel like the 16 year-old boy that met a pretty girl and fell in love with her, even though she didn’t fell for him.
Hanbin and I stay quiet for moment to take in what we heard.
- Ji, you know you grew up. And you know we love you.
- You’re not a boy. - Hanbin follows my sentences. - You are a wonderful man. I know this because we grew a lot together, I saw you become this confident and handsome person. Don’t make yourself think you’re the same as you were when you met her. You changed, for the best. Forget her. Forget the 16 year-old boy. Trust yourself now, and trust us. Trust that we love you and that you love us, that’s all that matters, nothing else.
Jiwon smiles by Hanbin’s beautiful words. - I’m sorry. I will say it until you both forgive me. I promise I won’t lie to you ever again even if I have the tendency to do it, I won’t hide things from you. I fucked up but I learned my lesson. I hate to see you mad at me.
I pout. - Alright, I forgive you.
Jiwon opens his arms for a hug, hoping we can accept it.
- Me too. - Hanbin hugs him and I join in.
- I hate it when you don’t tell me stuff. - I say, with one of my cheeks buried on Hanbin’s back, making my voice sound more innocent and cute.
- I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel left out. Ever. I love you so much. - Jiwon gives me a kiss on the cheek. - I won’t embarrass you like that again either, Bin. I’m going to apologize to the members tomorrow for delaying our practice. - He sighs. - I feel like a weight just lifted off my shoulders, thank you for forgiving me.
- Okay Jiwon, it’s forgotten, let’s just move on and relax and go to bed.
au where hanbin takes you to trips and gives you little soft kisses on your cheeks just because he's so grateful to have you in his life. he would always take your pictures without you knowing and he would keep them forever to remember every second that he spent with you. he would always compliment you to make you feel more happier but he actually wouldn't know that you were already so grateful and happy for being with him.
