Warnings: this is centred around self-consciousness, a low sense of self worth and etc... if this topic is a sensitive one for you, please be careful when reading!
Pairing: best friend!Bobby x (gender neutral) reader
Summary: “It’s not like some people don’t deserve to be loved / or aren’t allowed to be attracted to someone. There are no such rules.”
Length: it’s a short one~
[a/n]: although i’m still struggling to believe that this applies to myself, this is a gentle reminder to the rest of you out there that you are 1000% worthy of love. in fact, i love you!
The top of the mountain was only a few steps away. You could see and you could feel it... your legs were intensely aching. In front of you, Bobby was already at the top, pumping his fists into the air.
“We made it finally, after an hour!”
He turned around to check on you.
“[y/n], are you sure you can make it?” he teased, eyes wide.
“I’m here I’m here!” you panted, finally reaching the top. The view was outstanding. Under the grey sky and below your high positioning on the mountain were many green trees laid out below you.
“Looks like a bowl of broccoli,” Bobby said.
“Way to ruin the moment,” you said, nudging him. He giggled, his eyes scrunching up at the corners.
“So, [y/n]. We did it, we climbed the mountain. Now will you tell me what’s wrong?”
You sighed.
Bobby knew by now that when you suggested hiking out of the blue, something was up. Physical activity was your way of blocking out your mental pain, so whenever you were feeling down, you would exercise.
“You know all those songs that you write about love,” you said, sitting down on a bench behind you.
“Is any of it even real?” you asked.
“What do you mean?” Bobby asked, eyeing you curiously.
“I mean, what even is love? Does it even exist?”
Now, it was Bobby’s turn to sigh.
“Those are hard questions, [y/n]. Love can be a lot of things... but it does exist.”
You turned to him, a serious expression on your face.
“If it exists, then why haven’t I ever been loved before?”
Bobby smiled.
“You are loved,” he said.
You scoffed. “Please, I don’t want to hear the whole ‘your friends and family love you’ thing.”
Bobby shyly cleared his throat. “But I love you,” he said.
You smiled. “Thanks, friend. I love you too.”
You leaned against him, placing your head on his shoulder.
Bobby sighed, wondering when you’d take him seriously.
“Do you think there are some people on this planet who can never be loved?”
“No, [y/n]. See, if we’re all capable of loving, then how would a person exist who can’t be loved? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Then why does no one love me!” you whined.
“But I love you!” Bobby said once again.
“You know what I mean! I mean love like... wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone and thinking of them all the time... ah, I don’t know anymore. What even is love..”
“But [y/n], I want to spent the rest of my life with you. And I think of you all the time.”
“Thanks, Bobby. You’re truly a dedicated friend, but you know what I mean!”
“I do know what you mean; can you stop friendzoning me?!”
You turned your head to face the boy who’d just made a wild confession. He was staring at the sky even though it was full of nothing but grey clouds.
“Friend... zone?” you asked.
He turned to face you. “Now you’re taking me seriously?”
“Bobby, what do you mean?”
He sighed once again, pushing you away so you could look at him properly.
“My songs, none of them are fake. Why? They’re all about you. You? You are very much lovable. Why? Because I love you. Why? Because you’re-”
“Stop, Bobby stop! What is going on? This is too much for me to process right now,” you said, staring at the other mountains in the distance.
“[y/n], you’re very much worthy of love.”
“Bobby, how are you confidently saying all of this?”
“Because I saw the text message that you meant to send to your friend but accidentally sent to me. You didn’t even notice!”
“Text message?”
“‘I think I really love Bobby! We were just buying groceries and our hands brushed against each other - my heart completely lost it!’ That one. do you remember?”
Your jaw dropped.
Bobby leaned in out of the blue and lightly kissed your nose.
You slowly closed your mouth.
He reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers with his.
“Don’t ever say anything like that again, okay? None of this ‘not being worthy of love’ nonsense. I love you and that’s that.”
“I don’t like him,” you said immediately after closing the door to Bobby’s office behind you.
Bobby paused, glancing over his shoulder at you to shoot you a look of confusion. He hadn’t even had time to sit down at his desk before you’d declared your feelings for the new principal.
“We... just met him?” he pointed out. “How can you not like him already?”
You pursed your lips slightly, letting your hand fall from the doorknob before making your way over to the chair in front of Bobby’s desk, the one in which students normally sat. Once you plopped down, you tilted your head a little and replied, “He just seems like an asshole.”
Bobby sputtered out a laugh, shaking his head silently as he began to collect the files on his desk to put them away.
“I just got a bad vibe,” you continued, watching him but not really watching him. You were too deep in thought of why you thought the new principal was an asshole.
“You know I’m just the guidance counselor, right?” Bobby reminded you as he opened the top drawer of his file cabinet. “Not, like, a feelings type of counselor. I can’t help you dissect why you got a bad vibe.”
At his comment, you rolled your eyes and let your head fall back against the back of the chair. “Yes, Bobby, I know. I’m not talking to you professionally. I’m talking to you as a friend!”
“Well, as a friend, what do you want me to say about the fact you get a... a what? A bad vibe? From our new boss?”
You lifted your head up quickly, your brow furrowing as you scoffed at him. “Well! I don’t know! You don’t always have to say anything, you can just listen, y’know!”
“Okay, okay,” Bobby chuckled. “My bad. Please continue.”
“Thank you.”
...But after a few moments, you realized you didn’t really have anything else to say.
“That was kind of it,” you shrugged.
Bobby sputtered out a laugh, turning back toward his desk after closing the drawer of his file cabinet. “Well, I can’t say I really got a bad vibe from him, but I can’t say I liked him, either.”
“See?” you pointed out as if his words had just proved your point -- even though they hadn’t.
“I’ll keep an eye out for you,” he nodded. “And the first time I get even the smallest bad vibe, I’ll let you know.”
A satisfied smile curved your lips, and you said, “Thank you.”
“Hey, what are friends for?”
“Sometimes, they’re just for listening,” you teased.
Bobby shook his head gently as he leaned against the corner of his desk. He frowned at you before saying, “And sometimes, they’re for reminding you that the first day of school is next week, and you should probably go get started on lesson planning.”
“Spoilsport,” you retorted, your features forming into a decidedly unhappy expression. Even though he was right.
Not only did you need to start planning your lessons for the first few weeks of classes, you also needed to clean your classroom, go through all of your materials to find out what you needed to re-stock, make copies, and fill out your planner for the year.
With a deep sigh, you pushed yourself out of the chair and trudged to the door of Bobby’s office.
“You... don’t want to help me?” you asked, pausing momentarily in the doorway.
“I would if I could,” he grinned. “Got a whole new group of students coming in, so I gotta prepare for all that.”
“Yeah, I know,” you muttered. “I just don’t want to go back to my room and do anything.”
A smirk tugged at Bobby’s lips, and he tilted his head curiously at you. “Then why don’t you just quit?”
“Because! Once I actually get started, I love it. It’s just the getting started part I have a hard time with.”
Bobby slid off the corner of his desk and hurried over to you, turning you around and pushing you into the hallway. “Go, go, get started,” he chuckled.
“Okay, I’m going!” you relented with a secret grin.
As you headed down the hall toward your classroom, Bobby called out after you, “Hey, if you need any help... don’t ask me! I’m too busy!”
“Yeah, same to you,” you called out, lifting your hand up and waggling your fingers.
Ever since you’d started teaching here a couple of years ago, your relationship with Bobby had been like this. The two of you had become friends pretty quickly, and shortly after establishing your friendship, it had become very apparent that your preferred communication with each other was teasing.
But underneath the teasing, Bobby truly was one of the sweetest guys -- people, in general -- you’d ever known. He was incredibly kind and thoughtful (if not a bit covert about it), and he’d made your first year here so much easier than it could have been.
Back then, he’d helped you out willingly -- he’d volunteered most of the time, actually. He’d shown you the ropes, sent you websites you could use even though he was the guidance counselor and you were a math teacher and he had no interest in math whatsoever, and he’d helped you rearrange the desks in your room about ten times until you’d finally found a layout you were happy with.
On the last day of school, though, Bobby had put his hands on your shoulders, looked into your eyes and said, “You’re on your own now.”
Of course, he still helped when you desperately needed it -- especially if you started crying from too much stress -- but typically, his reply to your pleas was “Can’t, too busy, do it yourself.” And your reply to his reply was what you’d just said: “Yeah, same to you.”
And, honestly, that’s one thing you valued the most about him. He was willing to help, but he was even more willing to let you figure things out on your own, make your own mistakes -- basically just be an independent person. And when you did figure it out on your own, he was always there to celebrate with you.
Most of the time, he was there to celebrate with you... with pizza.
Which is exactly what he arrived with after you’d spent a few hours cleaning out all four of your bookshelves and cabinets.
“Knock knock,” you heard his scratchy but familiar voice call out from your doorway.
You were on the floor, surrounded by papers and old textbooks, and you craned your neck to see him standing just inside your classroom with two boxes of pizza.
Your eyes widened, and you let out a soft gasp of excitement, scrambling to stand up and hurry over to him.
“Pizza?!” you marveled. “But -- what time --”
Your gaze snapped over to the clock above your desk, and you saw it was, indeed, lunchtime. And since today was a planning day with no students to teach, you got to take an hour break to eat.
Imagine that: a whole hour!
Well, today, you didn’t have to imagine it. Today, it was your reality.
Bobby scanned your disastrously messy room and then looked back at you with one of his signature angelic smiles -- made all the more angelic and charming by his ever so slightly crooked front teeth. “I can see you’ve made a lot of progress.”
“Shut up,” you chuckled, holding back a smirk. “I actually have. I’ve cleaned out the two bookshelves and one cabinet, and now I’m just working on the last one.”
“I wasn’t kidding!” he defended, the expression on his face one of total innocence. “I brought you pizza as a reward!”
“Okay, but we are not eating in here,” you declared. Reaching a hand out to Bobby’s shoulder, you turned him around and gently pushed him back into the hallway. “Let’s go eat in the courtyard.”
“Aye aye,” Bobby murmured before turning on his heel and heading toward the courtyard just around the corner. Usually, the modest outside space with three sets of small tables and chairs (which were actually benches) was filled with students during lunch, so you and Bobby frequently took advantage of its emptiness on your planning days.
As the warm sun hit your face when you opened the door, holding it to allow Bobby to walk through with the pizza boxes, you let out a very deep, content sigh. After being cooped up in your room all morning, it felt good to breathe fresh air.
“Why do you sound like you’ve just been in prison for the past two decades?” Bobby laughed as he set your lunch down on the table closest to the door.
“Honestly, why am I friends with you?” you replied. You let the door go, narrowing your eyes and furrowing your brow curiously at him as you approached.
“Because I buy you pizza.”
“...Okay, right,” you relented with a nod. You then slid onto a bench and reached for the pizza box on top, opening it and seeing it was topped with pepperoni. At the same time, Bobby opened the second pizza box and, obviously, saw it was topped with black olives.
The two of you switched boxes without saying anything, and Bobby sat down across from you to start eating.
“How was your morning?” you asked as you lifted a slice from your box and brought it to your mouth -- you were more than ready to gobble at least half of this pizza down.
“So, the district is trying to convert all of our files to the computer so we can keep more files of students who graduate,” Bobby explained in-between bites. “Spent basically the whole morning transferring last year’s seniors and shredding the paper after I finished.”
“Oh, sounds like fun.”
“Mountains of it.”
“What, mountains of work or mountains of fun?”
“Both. Obviously.”
You chuckled softly, smiling to your slice of pizza before shoving about one-third of it into your mouth like the elegant lady you truly were.
Your conversation continued on, moving from work to your plans for the weekend, and as you were pondering on whether or not you should see a movie on Saturday, you heard the courtyard door squeak open.
“How’s everything going?”
Your eyes flew over though you knew from his voice alone that it was your new principal.
Thankfully, Bobby answered for the both of you: “Great, Sir.”
The principal smiled and then raised his eyebrows toward you. “You helping her move things around? You know how women get with furniture -- they love to change things up, make it just right.”
You immediately narrowed your eyes at him, and when Bobby answered, you were more than pleased to hear he sounded a bit uncomfortable. “Uh, no -- no, Sir. I’ve been busy, and she hasn’t asked for help, so --”
“I’ll get a janitor to come by your room,” the principal said to you. “Where are you?”
It took everything in you not to reply with your jaw clenched, the words just barely making it past your angry lips.
“That’s all right,” you assured him, purposely leaving off a ‘Sir.’ “I can handle it.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Bobby added. “Enjoy your lunch.”
The principal nodded, lifting one hand in a wave as he let the door close. Your eyes followed him as he began walking away, and the second he was out of sight, you scoffed with no restraint.
“Are you kidding me?” you seethed. “Did you hear him?! You know how women get with furniture, like what the hell?!”
Bobby shook his head gently, his expression screwed up into one of both disbelief and disgust. “Yeah... that was not okay.”
“So, now you don’t think I’m crazy for getting a bad vibe about him, do you?” you prodded with raised, expectant eyebrows.
“I mean, one off-color comment doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a bad guy,” Bobby shrugged. “It just means he’s a bit older and more --”
“More chauvinistic,” you interrupted.
“I was going to say conservative.”
You simply pursed your lips and stopped yourself from retorting back by stuffing the rest of your pizza slice into your mouth.
“But I’m not saying you were wrong,” Bobby assured you. “It was definitely a questionable thing to say.”
Still, you didn’t feel like saying anything because you knew it was extremely possible for you to get too sassy -- and as much as you already disliked him, you would rather not get into trouble before the school year even officially started. So, you just lifted your eyebrows as a sign that you agreed with him.
“Don’t worry, Y/N, I got your back,” Bobby murmured.
“I know,” you replied, the corners of your lips tugging into a soft smile.
Because you did know. Even if Bobby didn’t fully agree with you that your principal was a disgusting, misogynistic pig, you knew he wasn’t discrediting you, either. And he would absolutely keep an eye and an ear out for any other “questionable” comments.
It was certainly going to be an interesting year... though, hopefully, not in a bad way.
Prompt: #50 + #99 for anon – “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.” + “I will sit here all day if I have to.”
Anonymous said:
#50 + #99 for bobby please! (ikon)
Pairing: Bobby Kim x reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
Word count: 633
“Do you plan to help me?” he asked exasperatedly and you shrugged.
“Depends.”
“On?”
You glanced up at him. “Are you going to let me take you to urgent care yet, Bobby?”
“I’m fine,” he announced, though the way he cradled his left arm to his body didn’t quite echo the affirmation as well as his sentence had.
“Fine. Then no, I will not. I will sit here all day if I have to until you let me take you to see a doctor.”
“But I’m hungry!” he whined, looking at the food he had managed to pull out from the refrigerator to make lunch. “Will you really let me suffer like this? I’m supposed to be someone you love!”
You inspected your hand as if it were the most important thing to do right now. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor. Your arm is clearly injured and you’re just trying to brush it off because you don’t want to miss Hanbin’s show tonight.”
“I told him I would be there to help him out with the music portion.”
“Huh, did you also tell him that once again you left your clothes lying everywhere all over the bedroom floor and tripped over them and smashed your arm on the floor when you fell?” You glared at him momentarily, your expression softening whilst examining at his face. “Thank god you didn’t hurt your face too.”
“Thank goodness for that,” he bit back with a roll of his eyes, looking down at the food before him. His stomach gurgled; he was hungry and annoyed now.
You were being unreasonable. Whenever you were injured, he would fuss over you and make sure you were comfortable. Granted, you had slipped over on his clothes too. And you had warned him one too many times that the next time he left his clothes on the floor and someone fell that you weren’t going to take it gently.
Still, he was in complete agony and he couldn’t believe how at ease you were.
With a deep breath, he glanced in your direction again and realised that wasn’t actually true. You were scrolling on your phone; your eyebrows firmly weaved together with concern. You were chewing your lips and sighing as well, anxiety evident in your eyes.
Bobby knew you were dying to help him then.
Walking over to you, he sat down on the coffee table in front of you. Your eyes barely lifted from your phone to examine his expression. “Will you finally let me take you?”
“What if it’s broken?” he asked and you leaned forward after dropping your phone onto the couch seat. “What if I end up in a cast and-”
“You have me. I’ll help you with everything whilst you rest.”
“Except make me a sandwich right now.”
You smirked. “How about we go to the doctors first, and then when they’ve checked you over, I’ll take you out for lunch?”
Bobby went to object but you reached over to press your index finger to his lips.
“And if you don’t feel like being out, we can go through the drive-thru and bring it home.”
“What about tonight?”
Your hand moved to his uninjured side, patting him on the shoulder gently. “Oh sweetie, you’re not going. And I’ve already told Hanbin this.”
“So I have no other option?” he wondered and you shook your head whilst smiling.
“Did you think I would let you away with anything? I would carry you to the doctors if I physically could right now.”
Bobby chuckled. “Please don’t try that. I’m too injured right now to help you if you got hurt yourself.”
You leaned in and kissed him before grinning. “Finally, you admit it. Let’s get you checked out now, hm?”
We decided to visit a little fair on their day off. It was a Thursday and the weather was very pleasing, not too hot and not too cold, just on point. Hanbin won two plushies for me and when Jiwon saw that he was so good at those shooting and hitting games, he got competitive and started to play too, which was extremely funny because I watched him get cocky because of our boyfriend and I won one more plushie. We stopped by a food truck on our way out of the marketplace. Hanbin ordered for all of us, and mine and his order were made first. We both got out of the line since there were a lot of people around the truck, and we waited for Jiwon. When he was about to come in our direction, a girl approached him and he widened his eyes and parted his lips, static. I couldn’t hear anything but I didn’t like the way she was smiling nor the way he was reacting to her words. I knew right away that wasn’t a fan. Hanbin saw it too and he widened his eyes just like Jiwon did when he saw her. I am right, they know her.
- Who is she? - I look at Hanbin.
- That’s...Myung-Hee. His first love. - His answer hit like a needle on my chest. Not just what he said, the way he said it concerned me the most. I’m worried since I’ve heard her name before from his mouth, when he told me how Jiwon had such a hard time on forgetting about her. We talked about brief moments on the ‘first love topic’ and everyone knows our first love is the one who stays in your heart forever, the one you can’t erase because it’s our first experience with love itself, which makes it so special. It’s normal but if the ending is bad...that stays, and stinks. Jiwon had that bad luck.
- What is she doing here? - I ask, innocently and with a firm, slightly threatening voice.
- Why don’t you ask him? - Hanbin smiles poorly at Jiwon finding our way back to us with a rushed pace.
- Hey. Here’s my food. - He smiles, raising his fish cake, and we start walking to go home.
I want to talk, even though I’m waiting for him to speak without making me ask. Hanbin and I create a suffocating silence and he finally breaks it. - I know you saw it. - He looks at us but we limit ourselves by watching our steps. - And I’m shocked like you. She’s...I don’t know why she’s here, I thought she was living in Australia. I didn’t even know what to say to her when I saw her.
- But, she did know what to say to you. - I insinuate.
- Yeah...
- What did she say? - Hanbin faces him.
- She asked how I was doing and she told me sometimes she checks on me when I’m trending on social media.
I nod. I feel so powerless. I know he’s going to think about her the rest of the week now. I know I’m going to, too. Why did she appear again? Why did she talk to him? Doesn’t she understand how much she hurt him back then? It’s unbelievable how we forget about someone and they come back to remind us.
Jiwon told us how she had to check that it was him before she approached him since “he changed so much” after six years. I mean, duh, what did she expect? Hanbin asked how he was feeling after seeing her and Jiwon answered he was nostalgic and surprised.
I had some questions myself, yet I kept quiet until we got home and had some privacy.
- Summer, you’ve been silent all the way home. Are you okay? - Jiwon anticipates.
- The reason you broke up… - I want to complete my sentence however he does it for me.
- Was because I loved her more than she loved me. I told you that.
- Yes, although...did she cheat on you with the other guy?
- The other guy she started dating after me?
- Yes.
- You know...I wasted two years of my life asking me all kinds of questions about our relationship. Like you right now, I didn’t understand what she said to me. When she was breaking up with me, she told me and I quote “...my love for you has faded. I can tell you still love me and I could always tell that you’ve always loved me more than I loved you. And I once told you that your expectations were too high to see the truth. I told you that I wasn’t who you saw but eventually you convinced me to love you, but that’s over now.” With this, you can go on various paths of thoughts. I thought she was cheating on me too, but maybe she wasn’t. She was right, I was blind on my love for her. I ignored all the times she could’ve supported me and she chose not to. I loved her with everything I had and it was clearly a mistake because she didn’t do the same for me.
- Ji… - I hug him and he chuckles.
- It’s okay, it happens. I was young, it’s water under the bridge.
- Is it? - Hanbin asks.
- Yes. I love you now, the past doesn’t matter. This made me find you guys and I’m grateful for that.
- I love you. You know that we love you equally, right? - I make sure he hears it.
- Yes, bae. I never doubted you. - That answer made me instantly in a better mood.
- Now that we’re done with this conversation, Chanwoo invited us to go bowling tonight. - Hanbin takes his phone out of the pocket. - What do I answer?
- Tell him no! - Jiwon startles me with the exclamation.
- Why? - I raise my eyebrow.
- This is our first day-off in months and he wants to hang out like we don’t see him everyday? - Jiwon rolls his eyes.
- Babe, that’s kind of harsh. Don’t you think? - Hanbin says, surprised by his comment. - Besides, it’s with Jinhwan and Junhoe, too.
- It’s not harsh, I’m just saying I’d prefer to be with my partners today.
- Okay, that’s fine. - I say. I give Hanbin a look to leave Jiwon alone for a little bit.
- Alright, I’ll tell him we can’t go. - Hanbin texts Chanwoo and goes to our bedroom.
He said he’s fine but he’s clearly affected by meeting her again. I don’t blame him, he knows that we’re here for him. I just wish she hadn’t shown up on our lives.
- I have to stop by the broadcasting station to do something. See you later.
- What? I thought we would spend the whole day together. - Jiwon turns to me.
- We still have many hours left when I get back. We can eat dinner and watch a movie after I finish it.
- Hm, okay, but give me a kiss before you go. - I lean at him on the couch to reach his lips. - Hanbin I’m gonna head out! - I scream. He comes running to the hall, now with his sweatpants instead of his jeans.
- What? You’re leaving?
- I need to do some work, I’ll be back before dinner.
- No… - He says lowly.
- Bye baby. - I kiss him and get out.
I choose to drive myself to work instead of calling our driver. It will take less time and I just want to finish it as soon as possible.
Fortunately I had to do this, because after I saw her, she’s the only thing in my mind and I have to distract myself, otherwise I’ll go crazy. The way this is affecting Jiwon is worrying me: Answering without thinking and then being clingy with us. It’s like he’s frustrated with others but trying to compensate it with giving us attention. It’s probably his manner to tell us we have nothing to worry about and that he loves us so we don’t need to be jealous. It won’t work, but at least it’s kind of cute to see how he cares about our feelings. He’s so selfless sometimes…
I finish everything in time for dinner. When I get home, Jiwon is cooking and Hanbin is setting the table.
- Welcome home! - They greet me.
- It smells good. - I direct myself to the kitchen.
- It’s done, let’s eat. - Jiwon turns the stove off and takes the two pans to the table.
- Did you do a broadcast today? We didn’t turn the radio on. - Hanbin grabs a full spoon of kimchi rice.
- You know I don’t talk in them, I just prepare the songs.
- I know, but I like to see everything that you do.
- You’re so lame sometimes. - I laugh.
- I’m in love. - He’s right. Hanbin’s first loves are me and Jiwon. He says things like these because he never said it to someone before, he never experienced this, it’s a fresh love, a new emotion to him. Sometimes that scares me.
The rest of the week passes by smoothly. iKON is preparing for their comeback and I’m working harder since a lot of people on my job are on vacation so I have to broadcast full night sessions because no one will be there to entertain the listeners with conversation.
I’m grabbing my coffee after work, which means it’s 6:45 pm. I stop by a newsstand to see if it has the monthly magazine that I read yet, since it’s the beginning of the month, but instead, I read something that catches me by surprise. I have to check it three times before I believe it. I look at the picture, yet my heart is telling me it’s not true. As soon as I notice the owner of the place is about to recognize me, I cover my face and walk away in a fast pace.
9:43 am
- Bobby, you have to be careful. I’m warning you, I don’t want something like this to happen again. Don’t make yourself frowned upon, you’re a good guy. - The YG CEO says.
- Yes, I’m sorry, sir. I won’t. - Jiwon leaves the office and goes back to the room where the iKon members are working at, which is chaotic with loud whispers and hand gestures:
“I don’t know how he thought he wouldn’t get caught.”
Jiwon sees Jinhwan doing a facepalm.
“Shut up now, he’s coming!”
As soon as he enters, the chaos turns to a tense and awkward silence.
When Jiwon looks at Hanbin, he has a death glare on his face that Jiwon only sees when Hanbin is super annoyed. That’s how he knows he messed up. However, he composes himself together. - Okay, let’s get to work. - He joins his hands together and the group prepares themselves.
Donghyuk plays the song so they can practice. The movements are slow at the beginning and there’s no trouble until the song grows and Hanbin goes in front of the mirror to watch them dance.
- Junhoe, keep going. - He says, and after that notices Jiwon isn’t doing it right. - Jiwon, slow down. - He does as told, but then he goes off beat again and his movements don’t match with the rest of the group. - Jiwon. - He calls him out once more.
He sighs and tries again.
- Jiwon, I told you to slow down, can’t you hear the rhythm? - Hanbin’s annoyed.
- I’m sorry. - He apologizes, staring at his feet.
- Do you want to play it again? - Junhoe asks.
- Yes please. - They do and Jiwon is out of focus once again. It’s understandable since he was just scolded at, but Hanbin loses his patience. - I know you’re not listening to the song. Can you try to focus? We’re having trouble because of you.
- I can’t. - Jiwon is static and frustrated.
- You can, we’ve practiced this dance a million times.
- Should I stop playing it? - The song keeps playing and Junhoe sees everyone stopped because of them two.
- No, let’s continue, Jiwon just do it again. - Hanbin seems careless.
- I told you I can’t right now. Please listen to me. - Jiwon’s sad voice is getting strict.
- Guys, maybe we should come back later. - Jinhwan realizes the fight is becoming personal and wants to step back.
- You can’t but you have to, we’re working. - Hanbin keeps his figure.
- Please let me talk to you first.
- We’re practicing, we’re group mates right now, this is not the place to talk, we’ll talk at home. - Hanbin reminds him of their situation. - You’ve been keeping this secret since last week, can’t you wait a little longer? - Hanbin starts to get worked up.
- Look Hanbin, I’m sorry! - He gets closer to him and the boys watch them quietly. - I’m sorry, alright? - He says, loud.
- We should go, come on. - Yunhyeong whispers and they discreetly leave the room.
- Why didn’t you tell us you were having lunch with her? - Hanbin shoots.
- I...didn’t want you to be worried. I knew you would be like this. I knew it!
- Of course I would react like this, she’s your ex! Worse, she’s your first love. You know what that means and I know it too, I’m feeling it right now! - Hanbin yells. - Just tell me what were you thinking when you didn’t tell us you were meeting her again. Tell me how could you make me find out this way. - Hanbin rambles. - I knew something was up yesterday! I knew it! You avoided me and looked the other way all morning and when I asked where you were when lunch time came, nobody knew where you were! They thought you were with Donghyuk but then he appeared so I thought “oh, maybe he forgot something at home”. - Hanbin looks him in the eyes waiting for a regretful answer.
- I didn’t know you were going to find out this way, I didn’t see any paparazzi. I was going to tell you…- Jiwon’s calm and failing voice is irritating Hanbin.
- You were going to tell me when? These people are everywhere so these things happen! They want society to see our flaws! Oh God, Jiwon. - Hanbin starts walking back and forth. - Do you know what I thought this morning when I heard this? I didn’t believe it, I didn’t believe someone could be that dumb, seriously, Donghyuk had to show me the picture so I could see you two were really together. You know you’re on the papers, right? Social media too. I guess you know that, considering the CEO talked to you. - Hanbin looks at him. - Jesus, you realize Summer probably saw it too? She works with the media, Jiwon. On the fucking radio. And if she didn’t see it yet, she will.
- I know...do you think she really saw it? - Jiwon’s guilt is growing and his face is sadder. - She will think I cheated on her...and on you… - Hanbin covers his face, concerned. Jiwon sighs and starts crying. - What do I do…? - Hanbin subtly looks at him.
- Babe you can still call her. Maybe she didn’t see it, I mean, it came to us first because it’s about you. It’s YG’s business.
- But it’s everywhere, like you said, if she didn’t see it, she will. Besides, I don’t want to do this over the phone. - Jiwon runs his fingers through his hair. - Oh God. - He gets up, wondering around, lost.
Someone of the staff knocks on the door to warn them to continue the schedule. Jiwon wipes his tears off.
I get home, alone, devastated by the news I kept overthinking on the car. The moment I drop my keys in the little plate, I let my body sink in the couch and I wait for them. I turn the TV on but I don’t pay attention to even what channel I’m watching. I limit on calming myself down so when they get here, I don’t seem too upset since I want to understand what Jiwon has to say. About an hour and a few minutes later, I hear the door open and the tinkling of the keys along with some whispers. They get to the living room and I welcome them, getting up off the couch.
- How was your day, baby? - They give me a kiss on a cheek.
- Good. - I answer. - How was yours?
- Wait, you don’t want to specify what you did? - Jiwon says, slightly nervous.
- No, it was a normal day. - I fake my answer. - How was your day?
Hanbin gives Jiwon a look so he can go ahead and tell me. - We...worked! - Jiwon smiles.
- Oh. - I fake a smile.
- Yeah...but Summer, I have to tell you something. - He gulps and takes my hand to sit us down. - Last week, when I saw Myung-Hee, she later on Friday asked me to have lunch with her yesterday...so I did. I just wanted to know how she was doing and maybe be in peace with her on my head. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys, I clearly paid for it this morning. Everyone is upset at me on the company and they’re right, I wasn’t careful and I didn’t think.
- “Be in peace with her” ? - Hanbin whispers in an irritated voice.
- I know. You didn’t. - They look at me, confused. - I know everything. - I nod. - I read it on a magazine after work. I didn’t know till I got my coffee. I know what you’re thinking, I don’t usually drink coffee at that time but today I did, and now I wish I didn’t. It’s funny how things work.
- Summer, I’m sorry. I feel so bad, are you upset? - His concerned face surfaces.
- I’m upset you hid this from us. How could you? You lied to us, Jiwon. Let me ask you, if it wasn’t out by the paparazzis, were you going to tell us at all?
- I was. Yesterday. - He looks away.
- Oh really? Because I don’t recall you telling me this yesterday.
- I… - He stutters. - Hanbin was tired and when we got home I couldn’t just…
- So you waited for the magazines to do it for you? - I pop a senseless question.
- I didn’t know there were magazines in the first place!
- Oh then next time, when you meet her again, make sure, yeah? - I cross my arms and I get up, looking to the other side of the room.
- Baby… - Jiwon reaches for me and tries to hug me but I push him away. - I’m not going to meet her again. - He grabs my arms and looks at me.
- Like I could believe you after you lied. - I look away.
- He’s not. - Hanbin finally breaks his silence.
- How do you know? Why are you so quiet? - I start shooting questions against him. - You knew about this, didn’t you? - Hanbin frowns by my question. - You boys always exclude me from everything. Just because I’m not with you all day like you two are.
- Summer, you know that’s not true! And I didn’t know! I found out when the staff asked how I was doing after “the Bobby thing”. I was clueless. I felt exactly like you did but it was this morning! You have to understand I had all day to think about this.
I feel my eyes get watery and it’s not long until tears start running down my cheeks. He’s right, my feelings are more fresh, my anger is building up and I’m being jealous for every little thing I can find.
- Baby. - Jiwon calls me, worried and regretful.
- I’m sorry, Bin. - I wipe my tears. - It was probably harder for you. - I recognize my mistake to judge him. - Could you work today at all? Everyone was probably asking you all sorts of questions or giving you looks. - I get concerned.
- Yes, they were. - Jiwon watches us talk. - But I had to pretend everything was okay so we could keep the schedule going. I admit in the morning we fought, but we’re talking better here with you at home.
- Babes, listen to me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.
- Jiwon you have to understand you didn’t put just you at risk. You put you, me, Summer and iKON. - He enumerates the amount of people with his fingers. - You saw how difficult it was to practice today. I know I said this already but you were so dumb.
- I know. I apologized to the CEO.
- Irresponsible. - He continues. - Just because of her. What did you get from this lunch, besides problems, anyway?
- Yes, what was that “be in peace with her in my head”? - I come back to this. - You assured to us last week that the past didn’t matter, so why did you say this earlier?
- I just wanted to know if I could see her as a friend and not someone who broke my heart for the first time. I know I said the past doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t, but sometimes she comes to my mind and I feel insecure. I feel like the 16 year-old boy that met a pretty girl and fell in love with her, even though she didn’t fell for him.
Hanbin and I stay quiet for moment to take in what we heard.
- Ji, you know you grew up. And you know we love you.
- You’re not a boy. - Hanbin follows my sentences. - You are a wonderful man. I know this because we grew a lot together, I saw you become this confident and handsome person. Don’t make yourself think you’re the same as you were when you met her. You changed, for the best. Forget her. Forget the 16 year-old boy. Trust yourself now, and trust us. Trust that we love you and that you love us, that’s all that matters, nothing else.
Jiwon smiles by Hanbin’s beautiful words. - I’m sorry. I will say it until you both forgive me. I promise I won’t lie to you ever again even if I have the tendency to do it, I won’t hide things from you. I fucked up but I learned my lesson. I hate to see you mad at me.
I pout. - Alright, I forgive you.
Jiwon opens his arms for a hug, hoping we can accept it.
- Me too. - Hanbin hugs him and I join in.
- I hate it when you don’t tell me stuff. - I say, with one of my cheeks buried on Hanbin’s back, making my voice sound more innocent and cute.
- I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel left out. Ever. I love you so much. - Jiwon gives me a kiss on the cheek. - I won’t embarrass you like that again either, Bin. I’m going to apologize to the members tomorrow for delaying our practice. - He sighs. - I feel like a weight just lifted off my shoulders, thank you for forgiving me.
- Okay Jiwon, it’s forgotten, let’s just move on and relax and go to bed.
A modern fairy tale series in collaboration with B from @noona-clock- stay tuned next week for the next story featuring a new member! ✨
Genre: CEO!AU
Pairing: Bobby x Reader
👠 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
**gif made by me, if you’re going to save or use please credit**
When you came racing down the steps of the museum, you didn’t think of your bare feet hitting the pavement. You only had eyes for your car that was, thankfully, at the front of the lot.
Gus waved off the valets saying that you’d get the car yourselves. He jumped into the passenger side as you turned over the engine and shifted into gear, whipping out of the lot.
“Calm down,” Gus said. “It’s not like you had to work tonight or anything. She can’t do anything to you for going out one night.”
“You don’t know her like I do,” you mumbled. “She can do much worse.”
“Only if you let her! I can’t for the life of me understand why you let her bully her like you do!”
“Gus I don’t need this right now!”
“Y/N! You DO need this! I’m sick of watching you just put up with her and your roommates!”
You slammed your hand against the steering wheel as you could feel angry tears threaten the corners of your eyes.
“That’s my home, Gus. My home! I can’t just leave!”
The car was silent for the rest of the drive home. You parked back at your apartment building and the both of you started to walk inside. Gus walked you all the way up to your apartment and you were ready to head inside when he grabbed your elbow.
“Your dad wouldn’t want to see you living like this and using him as an excuse. He would want to see you happy. That’s all.”
Gus wiped the tears from your cheeks, whispered a good luck, and went back to his apartment, leaving you reeling.
You walked into your apartment in a daze, not even noticing the crowd inside.
Stasia and Drizzy were sitting, or attempting to, in their giant hoop skirts and Lady was leaning against the fireplace, eyes slit and watching you walk in. You tossed your mask into your room, knowing they’d already seen everything, and came to sit on the floor by the coffee table since there was no room anywhere else.
“Well well well, little Miss Pretend finally made it home,” Stasia sneered. “Did you have a good time making a fool of yourself?”
“I mean just what were you thinking? It’s embarrassing to think that girl out on the floor with the CEO was you.” Drizzy chimed in. “I mean what if people realized we were connected to you? What would you have done to fix it?”
“Girls girls. Give her a moment to think. I mean she’s being faking it all night she probably doesn’t even remember her place anymore,” Lady said, somehow scolding you even if she was pretending to scold them.
Gus was right, you thought. Dad would hate to see me just sitting here.
You took a moment to look around your apartment. The kitchen your dad had exploded brownie mix in, the fireplace you’d sat around with a book, the window he’d yelled at you for leaning out. Then you picked yourself and walked into your room.
“Hey!” “What the heck?!” “Excuse me, we were having a conversation,” the three of them called after you.
“Just give me a minute,” you called back.
It wouldn’t take you long to pack up your things anyway. The girls had taken over your space so much you only had the essentials pretty much. You grabbed what you needed and what you cared about, packing two bags and grabbing all your toiletries, before walking back into the living room.
You would’ve appreciated the shock on their faces more if you weren’t so tired of, well, it all.
“I’m moving out, consider this my notice,” you said, only addressing Lady since she’s the only way who really mattered with this notice.
She scoffed, seeming not to believe it for a second.
You walked over to the door and perched it open against your bags so you could turn around to say one last thing.
“And I quit.”
-
“You guys are not going to believe what just happened upstairs!” you said, using your spare key to barge into Gus and Jack’s place, the only thing close to a home you had left anymore.
You walked into the living room and dropped your bags, startling them on the couch. Seeing them cuddled up, you noticed their mussed hair and swollen lips.
“Oh my gosh guys, were you about to -”
“Don’t even go there!” Jack said, effectively stopping your train of thought.
Gus hid his face in Jack’s neck and mumbled something you couldn’t hear but which made Jack just pat him on the shoulder a few times.
“Want to tell us what the bags are for?” Gus asked, getting up to go to the kitchen.
“I moved out.”
“I’m sorry did you just say you moved out? I can’t have heard that right,” he said from the kitchen.
“And I quit my job.”
“You did what?!” Jack yelled!
“Calm down! It’s not that big of a deal,” you said, digging through your bags, trying to find something comfortable to change into.
“Um, I don’t think you’re in the right frame of mind to judge what is and isn’t a big deal after everything you’ve been through tonight,” Gus said, bringing you a glass of water before getting back under the blanket he had been sharing with Jack.
“Wait, what did I miss? What other things did she go through tonight?” Jack asked, looking back and forth between the two of you.
“She fell in love,” Gus said in a dreamy voice, clasping his hands together and fluttering his eyes at you.
Hearing that, Jack stood up from the couch, throwing the blanket off of Gus.
“Babe! The blanket!”
“You think the blanket’s important right now?” Jack said, raking his hands through his hair, “I act as a cab driver for one night and I miss everything!”
“Technically you only missed one thing - that’s not even really a thing because I did not fall in love!” you said, glaring at Gus.
“Then what was going on in the gardens that distracted you so much it took me ten minutes to find you, hmmm?”
“I’m going to change!” you announced, no longer liking the inquiry and wanting to splash cool water on your red face.
When you came back out from the bathroom, the coffee table had been moved along with your bags and the couch had been pulled out and made into a bed. You flopped down face first, feeling exhausted from the day, only to feel two depressions on each side of the mattress.
“What?” you dragged out. “I’m tired okay?”
“Just settle some things for us. We’ll even make them yes or no questions to make it easy, is that okay?” Jack said.
“Yes.”
“Did you give lady your notice?”
“Yes.”
“Do Drizzy and Stasia know?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have enough savings now or do you need some help?” Gus said.
“That’s not a yes or no question,” you answered.
“Humor me.”
“I’ve got enough in savings. I just need a place to stay while I look. Although I bet Lady will try and kick you out once she hears I’m here.”
“Then we’ll go too,” Gus said without hesitating.
You immediately flipped back over, surprised at his reaction.
“Guys, I can’t ask you to do that and I can’t get you in trouble.”
“Y/N, we’re family,” Jack said. “and family sticks together. If you’re going, we’re going. And that’s that.”
You sat up and grabbed them both in a hug, not knowing how you ended up with such amazing friends but feeling incredibly blessed for it.
“Thank you guys. I love you both.”
“And we love you too.” Jack said, starting to get up from the bed.
“I actually have one more question,” Gus interrupted. “Do you plan to see him again?”
You froze, knowing exactly who he meant.
“I mean, I’d like to. But why would he want to see a girl like me? I’m homeless and jobless.”
“You’re not homeless, you have us,” Gus answered. “And technically you’re not jobless either, you still have your seamstress job you did on the side. And I know how much they love your work so I wouldn’t be surprised if they just took you on full time.”
You picked at your blanket to avoid eye contact.
“Let me get my life back in order first,” you whispered.
After that you all went to bed and you were left to dream. You dreamt of pumpkin carriages and evil stepsisters and ballroom dancing. This must have been your heart’s making because you can remember feeling so happy at times that your heart was glowing.
When you woke up the next day, you almost felt as if you would’ve been better off in the dream. Slid under the door to Gus and Jack’s apartment had been an eviction notice. Go figure.
They had immediately looked into new apartment complexes for the three of you, with apartments right beside each other of course. Jack worked from home so you helped him pack up most of the time. Gus would use his lunch breaks to tour places.
As if magic was on your side you found a relatively nice place about a week later. When you were packing things up, you overheard Jack and Gus whispering about Bobby. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but you also couldn’t help yourself, you’d been thinking about him all week.
“She should know.”
“But she said she wanted to get her life in order first. And that’s what I told him.”
“You told him her life is a mess?”
“No! I told him to give her some time and that I’d let him know when she’s ready.”
Your heart raced when you realized Bobby had been asking about you. But you were thankful for Gus. It’s not that you felt you had to be some perfect person when he saw you again, but you wanted to find your foundation again after all the changes you had been through.
Your new place was closer to both your work and the museum, making it convenient for all of you. It was almost as if everything was falling into place after everything had shifted so dramatically. Ms. Daemo came over to visit you all pretty frequently, saying her place wasn’t as fun anymore. You secretly wondered if she came over so much because she was looking into vacancies.
Not only had Gus been right about you getting a job at your shop, Happily Ever After Designs, but they’d also offered to pay for your design school tuition if you’d return to work with them. After you’d finished a full semester, you knew you’d made the right decision to accept their offer. Even though you were still training, they were already letting you spearhead lines, looking for your whimsical outlook in their fairy tale collection specifically. They even nicknamed you Princess as a joke, saying you must have been one in a past life.
You hadn’t forgotten about your Prince though. You’d started to wonder if you’d misheard Gus and Jack’s conversation that one day, because he’d never shown up. You know you probably could have figured out how to contact him if you’d worked hard enough, but honestly it made you a little nervous. And when you thought of him, you threw yourself into your work. So let’s just say you’d been more than a little productive.
“Y/N you have to go with me,” Gus whined one day at your shop.
“No I don’t Gus, I have work to do.” you answered.
“Not in the evening!”
“You don’t know my life,” you teased back.
The museum was having yet another charity event. You’d been trying to avoid Gus talking about it at all costs because it only ever made you think of that night. Of dancing in someone’s arms and staring up at the stars.
“Y/N you have been working nonstop for months! It’s time you got out! Come out with me.”
“Can’t Jack go?”
“Yes, he’s going for work too though, so I still get a plus one. Nice try. Thanks for playing. Have a better excuse next time,” he said, sticking his tongue out at you.
“But I don’t have anything to wear!” you said rather exaggeratedly.
Those words hung in silence as the two of you looked around the shop.
“Hey, Gus,” you whispered, “where’s Ms. Daemo? She always weirdly pops out of nowhere when I say I don’t have something as an excuse.”
“Maybe she’s on her lunch break?” he said. “And it’s not as if you can’t dress yourself. I mean you make dresses for a living and are surrounded in some beautiful pieces!”
Your eyes immediately flicked to a silky blue one off to the side. You had thought of selling it, but you loved the subtle shine to it too much to sell. Gus’s eyes followed yours and he smiled, knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist a chance to wear it.
He tossed the invitation on the counter before heading out of the shop, yelling “See you tonight! I’ll meet you there!”
When the time for the event rolled around, you were all dressed up in your blue dress, wearing a choker and some pumps, not remembering where you favorite pair of red chucks had been lost in the move months ago.
When you arrived, your recognized the same valets at the door. After jogging their memories, you asked them if they knew where Gus was inside. One mentioned he’d heard of a lighting problem in the garden and that Gus would probably be out that way.
You walked into the main room, trailing your hand along the same railing you had months ago, smiling when you passed the landing where you’d literally crashed into Bobby. You slid through the crowds and bee-lined for the patio doors, snaking along the stone path and looking around for Gus.
You hadn’t really even been thinking of going to the fountain when you found yourself there. Another smile crept onto your face with the memories and, almost as if it recognized you, the fountain leapt to life.
The added light made it a little easier to see and you noticed a man sitting on the other side of the fountain. He had a really light shade of hair you thought might have been purple at one point. But that wasn’t what really made you pause.
He was sitting next to a red pair of chucks.
You slowly walked around the fountain, hearing the swish of your own skirt and the click of your heels on the stone, feeling your heart beat faster and faster with each step. You wondered if this is how Bobby had felt when he’d walked to you all those months ago.
You stopped in front of him and saw he was already smiling, even though he was looking down at his hands.
“You know,” he started in that familiar tone of voice you hadn’t realized you’d missed so much after just one night, “I’ve been sitting out here for hours and it is pretty darn cold sitting by a fountain.”
You laughed, loving how you’d known he wouldn’t be romantic.
“Maybe it’s because you’re sitting by yourself,” you said, moving to sit before he could say anything.
Immediately he moved off the fountain and kneeled in front of you.
“Um, Bobby? Just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Shh. Bear with me, I’ve got it all planned out. *Ahem* Excuse me miss, do you recognize these shoes?” he said, perching your red checks on his hands in front of you.
Laughing at him, you simply answered with a nod.
“But can you prove it?” he said.
“Bobby, I don’t think that’s how it went.”
“Well I don’t remember how it went. I only know the gyst.”
“I thought you said you’d planned it all out?”
“Well apparently I didn’t plan for a sassy princess.”
You could see the struggle written all over his face as he tried to complete his plan even though he knew it was falling apart.
“Alright alright. Would you like me to prove it to you my prince? I do have feet which might fit in these generic sized shoes you’ve happened upon.” you said, thoroughly enjoying teasing him.
“Woman,” he scolded, rolling his eyes.
You kicked off your heels and wiggled your feet in front of him.
“I actually only need one foot,” he teased back.
You were about to argue against wearing a tennis shoe and a heel when he playfully tickled the bottom of your foot. Startled, you jerked your foot, realizing too late that the force caused your body to tip backwards.
Bobby quickly tossed the shoes in his hands and grabbed your arms, pulling you towards him and off of the fountain.
You found yourself laying on top of him, his hands still wrapped around you protectively and his gaze caught on yours. Your breath caught in your throat as you saw him press his lips together. You reached your hand up to brush his bangs out of his face and left your hand on his cheek. You started to lean down. caught in his spell as you pressed your lips to his.
The kiss was sweet. He seemed so startled you’d made a move that he’d almost frozen underneath you. Almost. His lips had returned the kiss gently in the end before he’d pulled back and helped you sit up, still holding an arm around you.
“So does this mean the shoe fit?” you asked, joking to hide the blush on your cheeks.
“I don’t know,” he said, not meeting your eyes but looking past you. “Does it count if I threw your shoes in the fountain?”
“Again?!”
Well, at least you knew your happily ever after wouldn’t be boring.
//
Tagging @sun-shinee-world @leilaammartin @daelicious-jongbulge @sweg-imsorrywhatwasthat @baekinmylife @xiusmybeautifulnightmare @lost-girl-inc @brie02 @peach-sm @jong-yixing @haveanotherkpopblog @sundropsoo @constellxtion @akutagawahakuryuunosuke @lazypostfandomer @cupcakemintylash @smut-wars @mistressoflight22 @veryhotkpop @chanyeolol @shawoltzen @garlandcrowns @lostintheendlessvoidthatislife @nicht-so-schnell @jinhuwuan @dark-changbin @lafilleestmorte @tokyoseo @prettywordsyouleft @digitalizeduniqueness @this-song-thats-only-for-you @zhangjingyou @hmyzone55 thanks for reading! Stay tuned for next week when it’s back at @noona-clock!
iKONic Fairy Tale Series: Aladdin | The Little Mermaid | Sleeping Beauty | Cinderella | Snow White | Rapunzel | Beauty & the Beast
-Here for You is another dad!Jiwon request I had. This request came in right after so I guess in a way, they’re in conjunction with one another. You don’t really have to read them together since they’re pretty much stand alone pieces but it’s nice to have a small continuation. Anyways, here ya go! 10 years late but I did it!!!
The world suddenly seemed so much bigger now that your range of mobility was limit to three feet out your front door, and occasionally down the street for a short walk with your dog, in which you’re no longer allowed to hold the leash. As per your doctor order? God no! In fact, your doctor always commented on how well taken care of you were at every single appointment. This preposterous house arrest is of course, as per your husband ordered.
Jiwon had been beyond amazing throughout your whole pregnancy despite missing nearly every single parent-in-training class due to iKon’s hectic tour schedules. Possessing the vast knowledge of one book on pregnancy for dummy he once read before realizing that nothing the books offered could possibly save him from your fifth mood swing of the hour, nor the guilt he constantly feel watching you cried from the sheer endless aching of carrying a new life. Yet there he was every time your eyes glossed over with a new insane craving or another hormonal whine fest about how unfair it is that you’re the only one looking like a duck had swallowed a planet waddling around whilst he, dashing and breaking heart as ever. Every time you panic, every time you’d freak out over every little thing, he’d be there holding your hand, calm as a swan to guide you through. Even if only moments later you caught him on the brink of tear, rapping at top speed on the phone with Hanbin, no doubt letting lose all the worries he held back for the sake of your peace of mind. Poor Hanbin, bless his soul for being therapist/consultant for whatever it might be that Jiwon is ringing him up about now. He probably has it harder than you will ever experience because Jiwon has to be taking all that emotion somewhere. He sat through an hour of you ugly crying while sobbing because you lost the allan wrench that came with your new shelf. Even when Jiwon had presented another shiny allan wrench from another set of table he had saved after putting it together the week before, you were still bawling like a baby that it weren’t the same. The collection of bags under his eyes were at this point more extensive than your designer one that he had gifted you through the years. He took it all with the grace and braveness of a new dad, without ever letting you hear his complaints.
Jiwon, your dear husband, he’s god sent, best you could’ve ever ask for so why was it you were screaming his name off the top of your lungs, muddling it with a strings of obscene curses? Well because it’s well into your 2nd hour of labor pain, which will only get worse from here as informed by your kind team of nurses. The insane hours of pain feels much like the wave crashing the shore, except, instead of the soothing water of the ocean and sunshine of the beach, it was waves of fire, and knives, and molten lava because all you could feel is searing pain. Jiwon sits beside you, his face had contorted into something so twisted he might as well check himself in for some surgery to morph it back to the handsome face he possessed before dropping all his schedule to rush to your side.
“Baby, does it hurt mu-” His whisper chopped off as quick as it had surfaced by a small yelp elicited by your nails digging into his palm. Now he had braved probably just as much pain as you had letting you clawed at him, pinched him, hold him to a point of bruising yet not even a whimper of complain. He knows whatever discomfort he might feel will never, ever be worthy enough to compare to what you’re about to go through.
“Does it hurt, Jiwon? Does it HURT? Are you seri- Oh my fucking shit. Are you being serious right now?” The audacity of this man to sit here and question whether or not you’re really in pain. Does he still not know how it work after the half an hour of you going into an hysterical rant, explaining in excruciating details of how babies are born?
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know it hurts a lot. What can I do?”
“Do you, Jiwon? I just had three different people shoved their hand up my damn vagina in the last hour alone while humming “not ready yet” like I’m a freaking pie in the oven all the while being display like a freaking 150 pounds piece of really shitty art made by someone with no artistic sense whatsoever for everyone to see. Do you really know?” Damn, Jiwon would be proud with how fast and powerful you had just gotten that sentence out in one single breath if he weren’t so scare, being married to a rapper really has it perk.
“I’m sorry. I’m here, hit me, scream at me all you want okay? But you gotta calm down baby... The doctor said getting upset isn’t good for little Y/n. What can I do?” Instinctively, just as he had all these years when the world becomes a little too much for you to handle, Jiwon pulls you into his arms, never mind your harsh words or that his left palm is now bleeding from how rough your hold on his hand were. He places a kiss on your sweaty forehead, with the good hand running through your matted hair. If Jiwon could be pregnant instead, he would.
He had always been the one bugging you to get pregnant, although never quite mad, Jiwon had gotten short with you once before when you expressed your nonchalantness with having kids. He wants to take it all back now. How could he be so selfish, how could he make you carry a life just because he wants a mini Jiwon or mini Y/n when you weren’t ready. He had forgotten seeing Hanbin and his wife went through so much trials and tribulation with their twins, or how hard it was on Chanwoo’s wife when she had complication with their first born so he so selfishly blamed you for still not having someone to call him “dad”. What a screw up he is for blaming you, the only person that was willing to take him at his best and at his worst without ever questioning his intention.
“Get me some water... as much ice as you can.” You whimper out and he nods furiously, not knowing how else to help. A heavy sigh left your lips just as his shadow bolts out the door behind him. You know how harsh all this was on him, and of all his fears but the pain had blinded you for the past few hours.
“Baby, here.” He rushes back to your side, thankful to see a more rested form of his wife smiling back. Lifting a few spoonful of cold salvation to your lips, he settles happily when you lean into him as you satisfyingly crunches on the ice.
“Jiwon... I’m sorry.” You mewl out, much to his surprise.
“Whatever for, honey? You did nothing wrong.” Eyes widen, for the first time since arrival he was met with your tearful features even with the gut punches your body was preparing to welcome the baby are still rolling in with full force.
“I-I know all I’ve been doing is yell at you. First all I do is complain, now I just yell and hurt you. I don’t want you to think this is me now... I said it before, I’ll say it now. I’m happy to be able to welcome my child with you, our child. I know I don’t say it enough, or at all, but Kim Jiwon, you’re an amazing person.”
“Stop it, love. I’m far from perfect. I always expect this thing to be easy breezy, you know? I’ve seen Jinhwan hyung did it, then Yunhyeong hyung... Even Hanbin, and June, and the maknae. I just, I don’t know. I guess it’s not as easy when we do it ourselves, huh?” That strange chuckle, signature of your husband rings out so dearly and suddenly your heart is at peace. You snuggle further into his chest despite the strange position you both had taken on with the soon to be gone bump in between. “Like I said before, you’re the most beautiful person in this world and I thank God everyday for giving me you.”
You must be looking like a rag doll after a tsunami but his words and those loving eyes just make you feel like a million dollars. His fingers find their way back to your face pushing away a few stray strand of hair as they would always do before he so tenderly presses a gentle kiss on your lips. Jiwon holds it there for what felt like eternity as he lets his heart and soul sear you with all his love, only parting way once the footfall could be heard leading to your room.
Once more you experience what could only be describe as a frog prepared to get dissected during bio class, what’s with being prod at, poke, and examine. Another 4 excruciating hours and a few laps around the maternity ward later to loosen your muscles, you were prepped and primed for the main event. The world feels like such a blur, as if suddenly the Earth had decided to go on a race with its sibling planets. Blurs of people running in and out of the room, blurs of faces telling you to push, blurs of the incessant beeping of all the machineries, blurs of pain. In the blurry faded world flashing in front of your eyes, his face remains clear as day right beside you. Jiwon has his arms around you like he always had been when he walked you through rough spots in life.
For God knows why, your memories rushes back to the day you had thought your journey with him was to end, back to the days of being young and being careless. You had gotten tired of waiting, angry at him for always leaving but too foolish to realize there were millions of other solutions before separating. “Let’s break up” you had said simply and watched as he said simply, “No.” Before you had realized what was going on, he already had his arms around you before repeating one more time, “No.” You were angry at first, the blatant disrespect he was showing by refusing to hear you but then you broke down crying in his arms and held him the tightest you’ve ever held anyone. “My naive girl, what make you think pushing me away will be the answer to your pain of never having me around? Did you think that parting way forever will help you get over how much you miss me? Because let me tell you right now, if you love me as I do you, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever come up with because i can’t even fathom how much it hurt not to have you in my life.” And he held you for the next hours as you both snuggling up on your old worn couch, then the rest of the night when you buried your head in his chest while listening to his sweet, sweet voice. “When you’re thirsty, you drink water. When you’re hungry, you eat. When you miss someone, you should be with them. I don’t get your ass backward logic, missy. Tell me right now, would you rather me leave right now, and I will if you do. I don’t want to force you into a relationship if you’re already decided you don’t need anymore.” Your response was to pull him closer and never let go. Just like that night, Jiwon is right where he needed to be and he protects you in his arms even when he doubts that it will help, he holds you anyways. Through the exhaustion and through it all, you smile because you’re all each other got and simply, you’re better together as 3 and counting.
Then the world stops. A single cry tears through the musty sweat filled air like the clearest bell and all either of you could hear was that cry. The weight of the world lifted off your shoulders when you see the smile on his face, a smile that said you had just been demoted to second favorite as the nurse hands over your bundle of joy.
“She’s so perfect. God, I said I wouldn’t cry. Look at me now.” Jiwon half guffaw half chokes on his own tears as he delicately places his lips on her forehead, finger gently caressing her fluffy cheeks.
“She’s perfect, just like her dad.” You lean back, forgetting that stitches were being placed, that your lower half felt like it had been through a meat grinder. Watching Jiwon holding your sleepy baby close to his chest as he coos “Hi baby, I’m your dad”, you’d go through this again and again. There is nothing more precious in this world than bringing a new life into this world and nothing will surpass the joy of doing it with Jiwon. You’re sure the weeks to come will be both painful and exhausting but seeing the excitement in his eyes as he shows off your daughter to the boys, you know you’re in good hands.
