Am I the AH for calling my brother a drug addled cunt?
My brother (26) has had a drug problem for over a decade now; meth, heroin, booze- if it exists my brother has done it multiple times. He recently came out of sober living again and my mom (46) is letting him live with us.
My mother set the condition that as long as he doesn't do drugs he can live with us and I was extremely wary but it is her house so I said fine. However he was sneaking alcohol and weed into the house and I (19) kept finding it and giving it to my mom. She would throw it away but in a couple of days I'd find a new bottle or container and the cycle would continue.
I recognize that weed and alcohol are legal in my state however I believe that someone with addiction issues (especially concerning weed and alcohol) should not partake and my mom agrees with that sentiment. However, at the end of her rope (i.e. not wanting to kick out her son but also struggling with trauma from having an addict father), she struck a deal with him that he could smoke weed as long as he 1.) didn't drink at all, 2.) Kept to himself when he was high, and 3.) Didn't drive the car whilst high.
As soon as she said that he was out the door to the dispensary and has been high from the moment he wakes up til the moment that he goes to bed. He completely disregards the second rule of not being high around us and drives the car high.
Tonight me and my mother were standing in the living room talking. He just got off his shift and was at the door struggling with the lock. He then stumbled inside so my mom made him empty out his pockets and he had weed after only going to work and coming straight back (he didnt stop at a dispensary).
My mother stated that since he was high he couldn't drive her car anymore and he stated that he wasn't high whilst smiling the whole time (which is his tell). My mom stood her ground and it seemed like the end of it so she went out for a cig, I went to my bed, and he went to the couch.
Several minutes later I hear yelling coming from the living room so I stand by my door listening (they're fighting about my moms car again) and it starts to get louder so I leave my room and stand behind my mom incase he starts to get violent.
She is telling him how dangerous it is that he is high at his job where he uses heavy machinery. He states that everyone does it so it doesnt matter. She responds by saying "you're not them so you don't have to do what they do." Somewhere along the lines she calls him a punk and he calls her a power tripping bitch. I don't even notice her call him a punk because I am honed in on every little move he makes just incase however I do notice what he says so I chime in with "don't talk to my mother that way."
He tells me to fuck off and that it's none of my business so I respond with "that's my mother, it is my buisness." He then says "she called me a punk first," so I said that "she should have called you a drug addled cunt."
My mom told me calmly to go back to my room which I did because I recognized that the amount of rage and fear coursing through my body causing me to shake like a chihuahua wasn't going to do anything beneficial.
They both quieted down and the fight ended immediately after that though. My reaction was a build up after years and years of trauma that he has brought into my life however I do recognize that what I said was out of left field. Most likely a TA or at least ESH but I'd like someone else's opinion! (If yall would like a list of the most memorable stuff that he has done to me since I was young for context I can type that out for you as well).
AITA?
Voting ended onMar 3, 2024
kaledo-art
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