"Maybe in another universe I could've done something."
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Katsuki never really liked Izuku, or that's what the boy thought. Their whole lives were built around rivalry and chasing after one another. Izuku Midoriya was always around Katsuki Bakugo despite the blonde always yelling in his face. That was until Izuku was involved in an "accident." Now the boy lives the rest of his days waiting for the nerd to wake up.
bakudeku - 2000's AU - Romance - Bakugo in love - Izuku in coma - togachako - semi angst???
--- chapter 5 - looking within
“I did not convince the hag to let me come for this.” Katsuki grumbled.
2 weeks ago when Himiko was over at his house, she had asked the class if they wanted to go to the amusement park. Everyone had agreed but Katsuki, he was grounded after all.
“Im not going.” Katsuki sighed.
“Katsuki pleaseee!! I need you there for my plan! Your my emotional support and my wingman. Please?” Himiko begged.
“Unless you can get my mom to agree I’m not going.” Katsuki huffed.
“Fine. I’ll convince her.”
Now present day katsuki was stuck wearing matching cat ears with Izuku because apparently they were cute and Himiko needed a reason to match with ochako. Everyone else thought the idea was nice so they all ended up matching with someone. At least they weren’t the only ones.
“You owe me one” Katsuki harshly whispers into himikos ear.
“Yeah yeah, have fun with your boyfriend.” Himiko sticks her tounge out and walks away.
“Fuck you!” Katsuki yelled.
Everyone seemed to be having fun, wearing matching headbands and all. Katsuki looked over at Mina and Kirishima, glad he didn’t have to wear the ones they had on.
“Mina, do we have to wear these?” Kirishima groaned.
“Hey if you don’t want to, I’ll wear them.” Kaminari grinned. He was matching with Sero.
“Why don’t you like the hotdog! It’s cute!” Mina exclaims.
“No it isn’t???” Kirishima replied.
“Sucks to be yall. The ones yaoyorozu picked aren’t that bad.” Jirou flicked kaminari’s forehead.
“Ow what was that for!” Kaminari yelps.
“Really, spiderwebs? That’s kind of sad don’t you think?” Mina looks at jirou.
“Couldn’t we have worn what hagakure and ojiro have?” Kirishima pointed towards the two. They hand on a headband with little penguins attached to it.
“Now that’s cute.” Jirou grinned.
“Remind me why we have to wear these specifically?” Katsuki looked at himself in a nearby mirror.
“I already told you kacchan, it’s because we both like cats.” Izuku huffed.
Katsuki rolls his eyes and sighed. “Better make this worth my money then. Pose for the camera.”
Katsuki snapped a picture of the both of them with his Polaroid camera. His mom had insisted on taking photos to show her when he came back.
As the colors started to appear, Deku snatched the photo out of his hands.
“No fair! You look way cooler than me!” Izuku looked over at the blondes outfit.
Katsuki was wearing light wash jeans with a red quarter zip and a white polo shirt underneath it, while Izuku simply wore a white loose t-shirt with black shorts and his favorite trucker hat.
“That’s your fault not mine. Dress up next time.” Katsuki snorted.
“Hey it’s hot today! Too many layers was gonna get me sweating.”
“Why are we riding this again? This is so childish.” Katsuki crossed his arms.
“Hating already? Just wait until we get on the ride! I’d love to see you screaming like a little girl.” Himiko chuckled at the thought.
They were a group of 7 and the ride was only two people per row which meant someone had to ride alone with a stranger.
“Let’s settle this with a game of rock, paper, scissors. Whoever loses has to ride alone!” Kaminari exclaimed.
“I’m down!” Sero grinned.
“No way. Let’s just choose who rides alone!” Ochako leaned against the metal fence separating the line from the ride.
“Where’s the fun in that? Let’s just play the game! Unless you’re too chicken…” kaminari turned around slowly, as if he knew Ochako would change her mind.
“Fine.” Ochako stuck out her hand, she waited for the others to follow.
“Rock paper scissors shoot!” Kaminari exclaimed.
Kirishima, kaminari, ochako, himiko, katsuki, izuku. Everyone had put down scissors. All except for one person, Sero.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sero groaned at the thought of riding alone.
Everyone started laughing. “You guys suck!”
“Don’t worry, it’ll make you look manly if you ride alone.” Kirishima winked.
Island in the sun by weezer blasted from the speakers as they waited for the ride to come back.
“Hey kacchan, isn’t this your favorite band?” Izuku moved his shoulders to the beat.
“Oh wow you noticed? I’m flattered.” Katsuki said sarcastically. Anyone who went to UA knew weezer was katsuki’s favorite band, he played them all the time.
Izuku rolled his eyes, Katsuki could be such a tease and he knew it better than anyone else.
“Whatever. You’re riding with me.” Izuku shrugged.
Izuku buckled his seatbelt as everyone settled into the ride. Himiko and Ochako were in the row behind them, Kirishima and kaminari in front. Poor Sero in the back had to sit next to a little girl who appeared to be 8 years old.
The prerecorded message came on the speakers after staff had made sure everyone was buckled in and the restraints had come down.
“You ready?” Izuku looked over at Katsuki as the ride started, making its way down the tracks, going higher, getting closer to the peak.
Katsuki snorted. “When have I never been ready, deku?”
“Whatever you say kacchan!” Izuku grinned as he covered his eyes with his hands, blocking the sun out.
Suddenly Katsuki felt something unpleasant pooling in his gut. It was too late to get off the ride, it was almost at the top. The blonde gripped the bars tightly.
This was it, the ride had reached the peak and… it stopped?
Sero yelled from two rows behind, “this ain’t too bad right?”
“You’re right-“ the ride came charging down, the blood rushing to all of their heads as they were turned upside down by a loop.
The little girl beside Sero let out a squeal of excitement as the adrenaline kicked in.
Kirishima and kaminari screamed. “Kiri, hold my hand!”
Kirishima grabbed hold of kaminari’s hand as they continued to scream.
Izuku looked delightful as the ride continued to charge down the tracks, another loop coming up as they had just curved. The green haired boy looked over at the blonde, to his surprise, Katsuki looked like he was on the verge of throwing up.
“Hang in there kacchan!” Izuku giggled.
“Shut up!” Katsuki put his hand over his mouth as his stomach churned.
They passed the last loop and the ride slowed, coming to an end.
“Hah! You screamed more than me, now you owe me a lolipop!” The little girl stuck her tongue out at Sero.
“Whatever.” Sero rolled his eyes.
Everyone came off the ride and rushed over to get their stuff from the cubbies. Himiko stretched.
“Well that was fresh!” Himiko grabbed hold of Ochako’s arm.
Sero had disappeared, he was giving the little girl the lolipop he promised her, while Kirishima and kaminari had ran off to another ride already.
“I hated it. Never again. It feels like when I use my quirk too much.” Ochako leaned against Himiko.
Izuku looked over at the girl, worriedly he went over to her. “Hey if you need me to bring you to the bathroom, I can-“ Katsuki cut him off.
“Hey nerd.. get me to that trash can.” The blonde gripped Izuku’s arm tightly as a wave of nausea washed over him.
“It’s okay deku I’ll take her. Seems like we have bigger fish to fry anyway.” She signaled towards Katsuki and left with Ochako.
Izuku sighed and brought Katsuki over to the trashcan, he worried for the boy but also for Ochako who had left with Himiko moments earlier.
Izuku held back katsuki’s hair as he threw up in the trashcan.
By the third ride katsuki was exhausted. He realized rollercoasters just weren’t his thing. Everyone had eventually split up and he was currently with Izuku, Ochako, and Himiko.
“That was fun!!” Himiko beamed as they got off the ride.
“Let’s ride it again!” Izuku smiled, turning to go back into the line with Himiko.
“We’re not riding it again.” Both Ochako and Katsuki exclaimed.
They exchanged each other looks, never once had they agreed on something. “At least there’s one thing we can agree on.” Ochako frowned.
“Whatever pink cheeks.” Katsuki switches the topic. “How about we take a break and go buy food?”
“Yeah sure! What do you think zuku?” Himiko pulled Izuku away from the line and back towards the two.
Katsuki’s eye twitched. Since when did Himiko have names for the nerd? He was more close to him then Himiko was. It ticked him off in the wrong way.
“Since when do you call him that?” The blonde said irritated.
“Woah there big guy. Calm down. No one’s stealing your boyfriend.” Himiko chuckled.
“He’s not my boyfriend!” Katsuki huffed.
“Kacchan, she’s just joking. It’s not like we’d ever date right? And yes, I’d like to go get some food. How about we ride the Ferris wheel after?” Izuku replied.
Katsuki’s eyes widened a bit at the last part, it shouldn’t bother him so much, it’s not like what Izuku said was wrong.
“Right.” Katsuki chuckled. He grabbed Izuku’s wrists and pulled the boy away.
“Ow kacchan stop, your hurting me!” Izuku winced, he immediately pulled his hand away.
Katsuki turned around to look at the boy. “Sorry, I got carried away.”
“What are you so mad for?” Izuku asks.
“Im not mad. Look- I. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Let’s just get food okay?” The blonde turns his back to izuku.
“Okay.” Izuku replied sharply.
Katsuki pushed all the feelings he felt emerging back down to wherever they came from. “I’m gonna get some shaved ice, what about you?”
Izuku grinned. “Are you really asking me that? You already know what I’m gonna get.”
“I know I know. Taiyaki right? You used to always beg auntie to buy you some on the way home from school.” Katsuki’s expression softened as he recalled the memory.
“I can’t believe you still remember that! That was ages ago.” Izuku laughed.
Katsuki’s heart dropped to his stomach. That sweet laugh, the warmth that radiated off of the boy. He immediately felt guilty for all the bullying he did.
“Of course I’d remember deku. Your my earliest memory.”
Izuku waited for Katsuki at a nearby bench to come back with their food. He looked around to see if he could find Ochako or Himiko, but there was no sight of them.
As the green haired boy was in deep thought, the blonde came up to him and shoved the food in his face.
“Here’s your taiyaki nerd.” Katsuki sat down next to Izuku.
Izuku bit into the pastry and his eyes lit up. “How’d you know to get me red bean?”
“Your basic deku, of course I know you’d like red bean.” He flicks the boy’s forehead.
“We were supposed to meet up awhile ago. Where are they?” Izuku tapped his foot against the ground impatiently.
“I don’t know. Let’s just get on this damn Ferris wheel or else we’ll miss the sunset.” Katsuki turned and walked towards the line for the Ferris wheel.
The two waited in line for about 5 minutes before it was finally their turn. In those five minutes they talked about various things, all might, their plans for next year and which agencies they wanted to go to, anything that was on their minds.
Katsuki sat across from Izuku. The door closed and the ride started. The current song that was playing ended and Can’t help Falling in love by Elvis Presley started playing from the speakers.
“The sunsets pretty. I’ll take a photo to show the old hag.” He snapped a quick picture, the Polaroid camera let out the paper and katsuki started to wave it, the colors coming in.
“Today was fun. Thank you for going on all those rides with me even though you obviously didn’t want to.” Izuku smiled.
“You think I wouldn’t be able to take on a rollar coaster?” Katsuki scoffed.
“Right because you totally didn’t barf after every single one of them.” Izuku chuckled.
They stayed silent for a few moments, letting the song play as they reached the top of the Ferris wheel.
“You know the hag loves this song. Apparently it was my grandfathers favorite song. He was big on love and finding the right person, at least that’s what she says.” Katsuki says softly.
“It’s a nice song, it’d be nice to walk down the aisle and get married to.” Izuku smiles.
“Mhm.” Katsuki took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before saying what he wanted to say.
“Hey deku. Do you believe in all that shit? Fate, finding the right person? What if your just destined to be alone?” Katsuki stared into the sunset.
“I don’t think anyone is destined to be alone. I believe we all have our person we’re fated to be with. Maybe you won’t find them in this lifetime, maybe it’ll be the next. But everyone deserves to be loved.” Izuku rested his head on his hand.
“Even someone like me?” Katsuki’s eyes glimmered.
“Even someone like you kacchan.” Izuku offered a smile as comfort.
Katsuki felt something pooling in his gut. He was fucked. Why did the boys words affect him so much?
Izuku softly hummed the lyrics.
Some things are meant to be
“I wonder who my person will be.” Katsuki mumbles.
“I think I’ve already found mine.” Izuku replies, staring at Katsuki as he sits up properly.
“Who?” Katsuki asked. His foot bouncing in anticipation.
“Ochako. But don’t tell anyone okay!”
Falling in love with you.
Katsuki’s stomach dropped. Izuku liked Ochako? Since when? This was bad news for Himiko, but it shouldn’t affect him so much. He felt empathy for his friend but not to the point where tears are threatening to fall.
“This rides awfully long.” Katsuki comments.
“Why? You hate riding with me that much?” Izuku chuckled.
It went silent. Izuku’s laugh stopped. There was no hint of hesitation in what the blonde had just said, he seemed so serious about it.
Izuku thought their relationship had gotten better, that it had improved. Now all the walls of his fantasy came crashing down on him. It hadn’t gotten better, it hadn’t changed at all. It was just an illusion.
“Oh. Uhm, okay. The rides over anyways.” Izuku quickly got up and exited the ride as soon as the door swung open.
Katsuki didn’t bother following him. He didn’t know what he was feeling. He walked around the park for awhile before spotting Himiko walking out of a gift shop.
“Katsuki! I bought you something! Woah. Hey, what happened?” Himiko ran up to Katsuki and looked at him with concern.
The blonde didn’t respond at first, the words stuck in his throat. “Oh, it’s nothing.”
Himiko pulled him into a tight hug. At first he was stiff but slowly tightened his grip around the girl, a tear dribbling down the side of his face.
Katsuki gripped her arms tightly, controlling his feelings so he wouldn’t break further. Himiko patted his head.
“Why does it hurt so much? We weren’t even that close to begin with.” Katsuki’s voice cracked and his breathing quickened.
“This is about him isn’t it? What’d he do to you? I’ll beat the shit out of him if you need me to.” Himiko pulled away and stared at katsuki, the anxiety and discomfort visible on his face.
“I’m stupid for even thinking there was an ounce of sincerity behind his actions. After all, I was the one who hurt him first right? I’m not allowed to feel this way.”
When the blonde got home that night he felt an urge so strong it couldn’t be ignored. He pulled out his journal and began to write. He wrote things in there. Things he wouldn’t mean in the morning.
“Izuku midoryia. A nerd who’ll never surpass me. Someone who’ll always be weak. Genuinely who does he think he is acting as if he’s at my level? Does he really think we’ll ever be friends? It’s kind of sad honestly, always chased me around all the time when we were kids and it seems he’s doing the same now. I’ll never accept him. He’s annoying, always mumbling about stupid shit. Fucking embarrassing. I wish you hadn’t gotten into UA. Worse. I wish I had never met you, that you had never came into my life because all you did was ruin it. I wish you had stayed quirkless. Then I wouldn’t have felt this way, maybe then your words wouldn’t affect me so easily. But I wouldn’t be the same person without you, would I?”
The next morning when he woke up he immediately felt a sense of guilt wash over him. None of the stuff written last night was true.
It’s not like anyone was gonna see it right? Katsuki tucked his journal back into his bag. He looked over at his clock, 7:40 AM. It gave the blonde enough time to get ready for school.
“What’s his problem?” Tsu asked the group as she stared at Izuku.
“I don’t know. He’s been like this since yesterday, it’s making me worried.” Ochako answered.
Izuku had music playing from his mp3 player, built this way by Samantha Ronson drowning out his thoughts from last night.
“Why are both of them like this?” Shoto looked over in katsuki’s direction, earning him a series of curses from the blonde.
Himiko sighed. “Maybe they woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”
“You know something don’t you?” Ochako accused Himiko.
“It’s not my place to say. Ask deku himself if you want to know so bad Ochako.” Himiko crossed her arms. She had been slightly pissed after last nights events. First of all her plan didn’t work, then she had to hear what happened with Izuku from Katsuki.
Tenya jumped into the conversation. “Toga’s right. It’s their business and we shouldn’t intrude.”
“You’re right on that one, class rep.” Tsu let out a ribbit.
Shoto switched the conversation. “Hey guys, I asked denki what meat rider meant. He told me it was something good.”
“Oh my gosh todoroki no!” Himiko squeaked
Kirishima walked down to the teachers lounge with Katsuki, picking up copies for Aizawa.
“Hey man, you good? You seem pretty down.” Kirishima looked over at Katsuki.
“What is it to you?” Katsuki answered annoyed.
“I was just asking. But seriously, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here.” Kirishima gave Katsuki a sincere smile.
“Whatever.” Katsuki speeds up.
The red head wanted to help the blonde, he knew something was wrong. Ever since the amusement park katsuki had looked down. Something had definitely happened and kirishima wanted to know what it was that had his friend like this.
As they got the papers from the teachers lounge, kirishima made jokes to try and cheer him up. As they both laughed Katsuki suddenly quieted. It was silent for a few moments.
“Hey. If I really was struggling, would you hear me out?” Katsuki’s tone was different, back turned from kirishima. The boy couldn’t figure out what the blonde was referring to.
“Of course! You’re my best friend, I’ll always have your back.” Kirishima smiles.
“You don’t mean that. No one really does right?” Katsuki chuckles. “Everyone is selfish in their own ways.” Katsuki mumbled.
Kirishima stopped what he was doing. Looking over at the boy whose tone sounded bitter. A calm before the storm.
“You’re starting to worry me. I know it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings but could you tell me what’s going on?” Kirishima walked over to Katsuki.
Katsuki didn’t answer. He took the papers from the printer and walked out of the room.
“Hey man! Sorry I was late, I brought snacks to make up for it!” Kirishima closes the door behind him and tosses the snack bag to Katsuki.
“At least you have taste.” Katsuki takes out a bag of chips.
Kirishima sits down on the floor next to the boy. “So what did you want to talk about?”
“Well. You said you’d hear me out right?” Katsuki looks over at Kirishima.
“Of course! What’s going on?” Kirishima shifts over so hes facing Katsuki.
“I don’t know. It’s just that, fuck. It’s kind of hard for me to express my feelings.” The blonde looked down at the floor.
“Take your time. We’ve got all the time in the world right now, don’t rush it.” Kirishima reassures Katsuki.
Katsuki whips his head towards Kirishima “am I an asshole? Shit. I feel like I am.”
“No no! You’re not an asshole katsuki. You want the honest truth?”
“Well, you aren’t an asshole. From what I’ve observed from you I think you just have a hard time expressing what you’re trying to say? For example, you might think “oh that person has a really cool backpack” and you’ll try to tell them! But it might come off more aggressive? I don’t necessarily think you’re trying to be rude, I just think you thrive more when it’s deeper emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement, that’s when I’ve seen you express your emotions the most accurately. Your close friends know you’re a great person! You might come off like an asshole to people who haven’t met you properly yet. At least that’s my way of seeing it. Why do you ask?” Kirishima smiles.
Katsuki sits there, trying to process what the red head had just said to him. No one had ever told him that. He had never thought about it in that way either. “Oh.. really? I said something I didn’t mean to deku the night we were at the amusement park.”
“What’d you say to him?” Kirishima asked.
“I told him I hated being around him. Which is weird because I don’t, actually I’ve been enjoying his company a lot more lately.” Katsuki rolled up the bag of chips. He grabbed a lolipop and fidgeted with the wrapper before plopping it into his mouth.
“Oh really? Why do you think you said that?” Kirishima leans back, chewing a piece of gum.
“I don’t know! I thought maybe you would? You seem better at all that.”
“Well. I’m not you Bakugo. I can’t tell you what you feel or what goes on inside your head. But what I can tell you is that there’s probably a reason you said that. Maybe you’re jealous?”
The fan in katsuki’s room spun, the sound of blowing air filling up the area. It created a peaceful atmosphere between the two.
“Why would I be jealous of him? What’s there to be jealous of, he’s a nerd!” Katsuki nibbled on his lolipop.
“I don’t know. You tell me.” Kirishima shrugs. “Don’t think too much on it. Apologize to him and you can figure out what you’re feeling later down the road.”
Katsuki punches his shoulder lightly. “Finally good at something for once. How’d you become a smooth talker?”
“Mina’s into all that psychological side of stuff. She rants about it all the time.” The red head gets up to throw his gum in the trash.
“You like raccoon eyes?” Katsuki breaks the lolipop, munching on it.
Kirishima jumps. “W-what!? No! Okay! I do! So what?”
“Nothing. Just figured. You’re always talking about her.”
“This conversation wasn’t even about me!” Kirishima yells.
Kirishima switches the topic “anyways, do you like someone?”
“Not that I know of.” Katsuki shrugs.
“Falling in love would look good on you. You know, since it’s a big feeling and all.” Kirishima turns his head towards the fan, the cool air hitting his face.
“Falling in love is boring.”
“That’s what you say right now Bakugo, but once you feel it, it’s not in the least boring.” Kirishima grins.
The two had gone out for a quick bike ride around the area, the clouds had cleared revealing a serene sunset. The wind hitting their faces, causing a light tint on their cheeks.
As the two turned the corner, Kirishima suddenly yelled. “Bakugo watch out!”
Katsuki quickly pressed on his brakes, swerving before falling on the ground.
“Oh my gosh I am so sorry! I should’ve looked both ways before crossing!” The boy held out his hand to help the blonde up.
Katsuki could recognize that voice and mumbling anywhere, it was Izuku.
