Why won't you leave me be

Joel Mckinley. 23. A tarnished golden boy. Your resident bartender- don't ask for more than a drink.

[kane-asghar]

I hope someone does wind up coming forward. The dog probably misses where it came from, if it had a home that is.

[joel-mckinley]

His fur is pretty matted and dirty but I'm just hoping he's in a bad need of a bath. 

If our family dog ever got this bad my mom would flip. 

[daphneblackvvood]

Is there some sort of shelter you could call? 

[joel-mckinley]

Probably. I'll give it another day or so and see if anyone going into the Rockhouse forgot their dog. I wouldn't put it past them.

[amy--harrison]

The dog doesn’t have any tags on it?

[joel-mckinley]

Nope. Not even an identification tattoo. I'm assuming he's a stray. 

[kane-asghar]

Would be something if he was. But nah, I don’t know anyone who lost a dog. Have you been holding onto it?

[joel-mckinley]

Yeah. I was kind of hoping someone would have claimed him by now. I may have to take him to the adoption centre at this rate. 

[kimberley-dawkins]

Short Notice Reunion || Kim x Joel

[kimberley-dawkins]

As Joel mentioned Daphne, Kimberley chewed at her bottom lip, noting the way he too seemed to retract a little. Kimberley knew they’d broken up pretty much as soon as school had ended and that Daphne hadn’t been particularly friendly towards Joel since. Kim herself hadn’t spoken much to Daph since leaving Bennington and based on certain things Joel had said, it seemed it was perhaps for the better. 

She laughed lightly at his comment about her being an early christmas present. But now she was internally worrying about exactly how her parents would react to her return. They’d be thrilled initially, sure. But…getting into specifics would be difficult. They were aware of course that she’d been in a serious relationship with her british boyfriend, aware that his intentions were pure and that he was a well-studied and respectable young man. Explaining why she’d fled from that security was going to be difficult, especially because she still had no idea why she’d done it.

Taking a step back as her feet met the ground, Kim’s eyes lit up as she saw the white tulips. A genuine grin spread across her face as she took them “Oh honey you didn’t have to get me flowers….” She laughed a little, nearly tearing up. She smiled to mask the emotion causing her eyes to water, wrapping her arms around Joel’s neck again to shield her face from him as she quickly dabbed her eyes with her fingers. “You’re the best, Joely.” She smiled, pulling back, looking down at the flowers and swallowing hard.

The past 24 hours had been a complete emotional rollercoaster and honestly she just wanted to wrap herself up in a blanket and cry. But she couldn’t break down right now, not in the middle of the airport in front of her best friend that she hadn’t seen for five years. Biting her lip and exhaling as she pushed herself to remain composed, Kimberley looked up and forced a smile onto her face “Lets uh…go get my luggage and go home, yeah?”

[joel-mckinley]

It wasn't so much that the break up had been bad; it hadn't in fact. It had been completely mutual and quite civil as far as break up's went. It made the most sense for them to part ways considering he was leaving, and it wasn't that they were suspicious of each other cheating, it was more like it felt like the relationship had run its course. They would always be friends, always care for each other, but they had been going down separate paths. Joel had tried to stay in touch with her once he'd left, but for some reason it had been more difficult than staying in touch with Kim had. Maybe because it had to do with the romantic feelings factored in there. Regardless, he hadn't spoken to her in several years, but he had heard more than enough through the grapevine about what she was up to, and he was still proud of her because he hadn't expected any less. 

"Of course I had to get you flowers," he scoffed. It had been a trend over the past several years after they had parted ways. On her birthday, even when she'd been in London, Joel had managed to send flowers to wherever she called home. It was the least he could do, he thought. It wasn't as if he could manage much else and a phone or Skype call didn't seem sufficient. Not for Kim. "And nah. I just seem that way to impress you. Is it working?" 

He noticed the forced smile, but chose again not to comment. They were going to talk at some point (he still wanted answers, but he wasn't sure she was going to give them up willingly), just not here in the public of other people. Joel nodded, extending his hand for her to take before leading her through the departures gate towards the baggage claim. It wasn't too difficult for them to pick out her luggage, and once they'd had it all secured (he couldn't help but notice that there was suspiciously more than several months worth of things in there; it had to mean she was planning on returning for a while), he led her towards the parking lot where his truck was. "You hungry?" he asked after he had loaded everything into the back and they were in the privacy of his car. "I remember airplane food being less than satisfying, and it is around breakfast time." 

It was probably best to feed her before she had to meet her parents, right? 

[amy--harrison]

The Clock Strikes Midnight: Joel ☽ Amy

[amy--harrison]

Amy tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Oh, we could try seeing how we’d handle each of our bosses. The only condition is we keep the jobs we have because I would not be very equipped for the bar scene.” She wouldn’t be able to handle being there for a few minutes, let alone hours.  The customers coming in would start their journey down the alcoholic trail sober and next, they would be half slumping over in their stools. Amy knew not to generalize. There would be some who would drink until they knew they reached their limit or have one shot and that was the end of their escapade. Seeing the worst time and time again made her almost naive to the alternative possibilities. “The advice I have for mine is to yes him to death. Smile and nod and you’ll be just fine. Anything I should know about yours?”

She was enjoying Joel’s company in the middle of the evening. If he hadn’t come in, it would be another local yearning for a caffeine fix and a booth to ponder their thoughts. Amy wouldn’t have minded when she had a book to get through, the item now closed and perched on the edge of the counter. Good conversation though had a similar ability to be as stimulating as reading a book was. She didn’t know too much about Joel, only that he was popular in high school and was accepted into one of the top schools in the United States. She never thought to ask why he was back, but speaking from experience, she wouldn’t want people asking her why she returned to Bennington.

"It is indeed. I guess no one feels like eating past ten pm." She chuckled, dipping into the kitchen once more and returning with a small, metal tin of milk. Amy lowered it just beside Joel’s mug and at his next request, she smiled. "It’s breaking the norm, but I’ll let it slide. It’s probably better to have something in your stomach other than what you’re drinking. It can give you the shakes."

Following a few moments of disappearance to make said meal, Amy exited the swinging doors with two plates, one balanced in each of her open palms. When both were settled onto the marble surface she picked a hash brown from the dish closest to her. “I didn’t realize that I was actually hungry too. I hope you don’t mind eating with someone else. I promise to make what we discuss as interesting as possible in order to combat how late it is.”

[joel-mckinley]

He didn't think that Amy belonged in much of a bar setting anyway. As far as he could recall, she wasn't even legal, but even if that had been the case she didn't give off the vibe. Not that there was anything wrong with that. "Ah, he's a 'yes sir' kind of guy. Sounds like he should be easy enough to handle." Joel had met plenty of those over his short twenty-three year old life to know how to spot those from a mile away. Most of the time, they were pretty decent guys but it was a trend that Joel at least had learned how to pick up on and use to his advantage. They were easy to please, assuming you knew when respect was due (hint: all the time). It seemed to be the general gist of all the older men in this part of the world. "Just don't make any mentions about her choice in footwear," Joel responded with a bit a laugh. "Other than that it's easy sailing with my boss. I think you'd be a breath of fresh air compared to the hooligans that she hired." 

The shakes would have been the least of his problems, he thought, although he didn't say as much. There had been plenty of days when he had gone with nothing but coffee and maybe some toast in his stomach. It was mostly because he forgot to eat he was so busy   either that or he was far too lazy to do so. Mostly it was a combination of both. He gave a short nod of thanks and a quick lift of his lips as he poured the milk into his cup, watching the pitch black drink turn in a creamy brown, falling into a silence as Amy left him alone for several moments to go and prepare the food he had ordered. He had never pegged himself as the contemplative type, but it was strange coming back and trying to remember the faces that he had passed in the halls without so much of a second glance. What he knew of Amy was practically minimal. He had tried to be friendly to everyone he could (that had been a bit of a failure, and he couldn't even pretend to ignore that he hadn't been to certain individuals), but Amy had passed by somewhat unnoticed. Now that he was sitting here talking with her, he kind of felt bad about the whole thing. 

He was roused from his thoughts when she returned and gave her a friendly smile. "Not at all. Good food, better company, right? I promise I won't fall asleep on you regardless of the topic." 

[joel-mckinley]

Anyone lost a stray? He hasn't left the back door of the Rockhouse all night, and I'm pretty sure he isn't looking for a drink.

[joel-mckinley]

Talk about your mom.

Joel: I’m a momma’s boy to the end. Kit: You could elaborate, you know. It’s not like you’re actually Mister Blunt and Gruff. Joel: I’m pretty sure anyone and everyone knows what the title ‘Momma’s Boy’ encompasses.Kit: But it means different things to different people. You don’t even have to talk about your feelings towards her   I think those are kind of a given, but talk about her. Joel: You’re difficult, you know that? Fine. She wasn’t born in Bennington. She was born in Manhattan and probably could have taken over grandad’s business out there, not because she’s the oldest child, but because she’s that good. Mom had graduated from Yale with Honours in Business, and she probably would have gone right back to New York to start learning the family business if it hadn’t been for the fact that she came down here for an apple picking trip and fell in love with dad. I always admired her. It’s not easy to make the switch from the city to being an apple farmer’s wife but she did it and shut all the naysayers up in the process. There will always be that city girl element to her I think, but she wears it with pride because it’s a part of who she is. …What? Kit: I think that’s the most you’ve said in a while. Good job. Joel: There’s a reason I don’t like you. 

[joel-mckinley]

Talk about something you have too much of

Kit: Lemme guess, another question that you don’t want to answer? Joel: You’re getting better at this. Kit: There’s nothing physical or material that he has too much of. It’s more like the emotional baggage that he’s carrying around. Joel has too much regret. And way too much whininess going on in that body of his. Joel: I’m not whiney!Kit: Not vocally, but mannierism and thought wise you’re the King of Whiney. Anyway. He’s got a list of things he needs to do, kind of like a check list, before he can even start to think about apologizing to his parents all the people he’s wronged. It’s a pretty slow start though, if we’re being honest here. Get a move on, buddy. Joel: I don’t think you have any right to talk about slow all things considered. 

[joel-mckinley]

3 people in your life, 1 word to describe them and why.

Joel: Wow. Three is kind of asking for a lot. Kit: Can you stop being a whiney baby and just answer the question? Joel: Kim: Angel. I think it’s self-explanatory. She’s been a constant in my life ever since I can remember even after she left for England.Kit: There’s more isn’t there? Joel: They don’t really need the other half of the explanation. Uh…Ella? I guess. Technicolor for her hair. Kit: That’s a little lame. Joel: I don’t like you. I just decided that. The last one would be…I don’t have one. Kit: Loser. 

[joel-mckinley]

Talk about your apples.

Joel: My apples? Kit: You do claim to be the one guy in Bennington with the most apple recipes ever. Joel: Ah. Well, yeah. It’s the truth? I grew up on an apple orchid and I got bored during the summer months so I got a little creative in the kitchen but I don’t think that’s what they meant. Kit: What do you think they meant?Joel: Physical apples? Regardless, I can’t really call the orchard mine anymore, can I? 

[joel-mckinley]

Talk about people you've wronged.

Joel: That’s a bit of a loaded question, isn’t it? Kit: But names definitely popped up in your head when it was asked, right? It shouldn’t be that hard to answer them. Not when you practically think about it a lot of the time when you can’t sleep. Joel: There’s a list, sure, but I don’t…This isn’t the place or time to talk about them.Kit: Why not? People say that when you talk about something that’s bothering you, you generally feel better about it after. Joel: Not about this. This isn’t their business. Kit: Whose business is it then?Joel: Mine and whoever else I wronged. No one else’s. 

[joel-mckinley]

#Challenge 003 - So...This is Twenty?

The sky is a kaleidoscope of stars and everything is spinning and blurring together in a warm, happy haze. The Alpha Delta Phi frat house bursts at the seams with life and laughter, bodies clinging to each other in drunken merriment as they usually do on weekends, but this occasion is different. This isn’t just any party, it’s a birthday party   Joel’s 20th birthday party to be exact. He had quickly proven his worth as a prime candidate for the Alpha Delta Phi brotherhood: he was the rising star quarterback for the Cornell Big Red, charming, practically a social chameleon when he wanted to be and always, always willing to have a good time.

This night is no exception of course. His friends, his brothers, had promised to throw the biggest, “most bad ass party” that he had ever seen, and they’re certainly living up to the promise. Everyone who is anyone seems to have shown up and the smile on Joel’s face has never left since the pre-drinking had begun in the late, spring afternoon. Mother nature even seems to be on their side, gracing the party goers with an uncharacteristic warm night, making the crush of bodies in the frat house warmer than it should have been and Joel has to extract himself from the revelry if only for several moments to cool off.

There is the full intention of returning, people make him promise he will just as the clock strikes midnight as he stumbles over to a quiet corner of the outdoor pool, but when he spots Harper (bookish, wonderful, solid, Harper) sitting by herself, thoughts of returning quickly to the party more or less vanish from Joel’s mind. He smells of alcohol, but his smile and laughter aren’t dimmed as he falls into her lap with a shout of protest from her.

He claims she’s being a downer. That she shouldn’t be out here by herself, it’s his birthday and she should come inside and have fun. He’s one year closer to being actually legal, but did she know he was already legal in Canada? Of course she did because she’s Harper McCool, Book Worm and Girl Wonder extraordinaire.

She replies with a tired look (but when doesn’t she in these social situations?), and says she needed some air but he should go back inside and have fun. Malia had to be looking for him after all. He doesn’t though, and Malia (Right. His girlfriend. Bombshell. Sorority girl and Southern Belle  ) is just a passing thought; he’s far too occupied with Harper and this moment. I’d rather stay here with the downer, he claims and she can see he won’t move and finally smiles (an exhausted one but a good one nonetheless) making him smile in return.

You’re having fun, right, Harp? His concern reaches across his voice even though the goofy smile on his face remains. Twentieth birthdays, he says, not waiting for her to respond (he was always chatty when he was drunk), are important.

Important how? She has to ask because she’s genuinely curious and a chatty, drunk Joel never ceases to make her smile despite herself. Because, he says, it’s the beginning of adulthood. It’s the ending of your “teenage” years as you knew them. There was so much going that was going to happen, there was the promise of things to come he let out a breath and exhaled, laughter bursting out into the night. It was like starting over. And he hadn’t been excited for his birthday to come around, not like he was now. Harper idly sweeps a stray hair away from his forehead, watching how his eyes sparkle like the stars he had confessed to her that he loved to look at. His unabashed enthusiasm is more than just the alcohol running through his system. It really is excitement towards the things that were to come.

And why wouldn’t they? Joel is a Golden Boy. He can do no wrong. Well. Hypothetically speaking.

Both of their phones chime in that moment, but she’s the only one to look down, noticing the time, and the date. Joel shifts slightly in her lap, eyes half lidded and closed, dimples and that same goofy smile on his face when he asks what it is.

Somewhere behind them, a cheer erupts from the house, and Harper knows it’s only a matter of time before someone stumbles out to gather the birthday boy, but for now, it’s just the two of them on that blissful spring night. She lets out a soft laugh, and in an uncharacteristic move she’d never do if she had been certain he wouldn’t remember, her lips ghost over his forehead.

"Happy Birthday 20th birthday, you goon."

12:01AM, March 3rd, 2014

The sky is a kaleidoscope of stars and everything is anchored and twinkling in the crisp night air.

Joel’s shift at the Rockhouse had ended early, his coworkers practically forcing him out the door upon realizing that it was his 23rd birthday the next day despite his protests.

Go have fun, they said. Live a little! Don’t be such a downer.

He knew they’d be pissed to learn that his decision to ‘live a little’ was ending up on the outskirts of the McKinley apple orchard, with nothing more than a six pack of beer (he wasn’t going to finish it. At least not tonight.) and a cupcake with a candle stuck in it- all gifts from the ragtag band of the Rockhouse staff. Joel knew this was technically trespassing but his parent’s final walk through the orchard before turning in for the night was several hours ago and he hadn’t known where else to go. Or rather, this was as close as he could get to the place he wanted to go. He fell backwards onto his back, gazing up at the sky. A small part of him wanted it to swallow him whole, while the other half was completely fine with freezing time like this for the next year.

This wasn’t his first birthday alone. Last year, he hadn’t even had the luxury of a gift of beer and cupcakes, but the presence of those things only managed to make things a little less bleak. Joel had gotten used to the solitary life he had forced himself into. It was all part of the plan, he told himself. He wouldn’t be able to get back on track if he let himself do what he had done back at Cornell. He didn’t trust himself, and it wasn’t like there was anyone here to tell him to stop, to reel him in when he went too far.

His mind wandered to a girl with messy brown hair who rarely had a book far from her reach, who had the most expressive eyes had had ever seen on anyone in his lifetime and he exhaled. Even when he’d had that, it hadn’t been in enough. He’d been reckless and he had fucked up more than just school and his future.

Adulthood had seemed so promising, like such an adventure, one party and one football game after another. At the time Joel was certain his younger self could never have imagined this. He knew Bennington would always be home, but he hadn’t expected to be stuck here feeling more apathetic and lost than he could have ever imagined. Adulthood for him was supposed to mean moving away, getting a job that didn’t seem like a job, coming home from the city only for holidays or during the harvest if his parents needed help with a beautiful wife and family to show for it all. He would have been happy, proud of everything he had managed to accomplish on his own.

Adulthood wasn’t supposed mean having everything slip out of his hands. Adulthood wasn’t supposed to be him trespassing on ground that he had grown up on that he still thought was rightfully his to call home. Adulthood wasn’t supposed to mean  

His phone chimed and it pulled him away from his thoughts. Slowly, he pushed himself off the ground, lighting the lone candle that had been sitting atop the cupcake for the past several hours. Joel had long since outgrown the idea that by making a wish on a candle it would come true, but he closed his eyes and made a wish anyway before blowing the flame out anyway.

The smoke curled up, tickling his cheeks like an afterthought, sending him back to when he could have sworn that girl with her messy hair and expressive eyes had brushed her lips against his forehead, but maybe he had been imaging things. He wouldn’t have been surprised. A lot of things about that night were a colourful, hazy blur at best.

His eyes crept open as he let out a half hearted sigh, “Happy 23rd, idiot.”

[joel-mckinley]

Ella → Joel

Ella: Joel

Joel: Ella.

[joel-mckinley]

Ella → Joel

Ella: ... I have a dirty mind just because I want to know what you're wearing?

Joel: That question generally isn't asked without something dirty in mind.

[joel-mckinley]

Ella → Joel

Ella: No I'm actually asking you what you have on.

Joel: And /I'm/ the one with the dirty mind?

[joel-mckinley]

Ella → Joel

Ella: Well I can't tell you /everything/ on the list, because you might actually prove me wrong and hang up on me.. but.. so, what are you wearing?

Joel: Is that one of the things on the list?