Johnlock Proof

You love johnlock and swear it’s canon? Here are some facts to confirm! Main blog is CodeName_TheGreatDepression

[thepineapplering]

John’s cock may be bigger than we think

I was thinking about John’s dong while ironing (as one usually does), specifically the tyre lever scene, when Mary says ‘It is a tiny bit sexy’ when John stuffs a large piece of metal down his pants

He fights Billy, finds Shezza and then they all go into the car to St Barts

Have the St. Barts scene where John’s junk is discussed

Then John and Sherlock take a cab to Baker St, where we have the scene with Mycroft, Anderson and finally Janine

And John sits while feeling utterly jealous

Janine leaves, and Sherlock talks about Magnussen while John is trying to digest the Janine thing

And then Magnussen enters Baker St, his minions having to frisk John

TO FIND

THE TYRE LEVER?!?!?

I’m expected to believe John had that lever down his trousers when he sat in 2 cars, climbed stairs and sat to watch Sherlock cuddling with Janine?!? And forgot he had it THERE?

What I’m saying is that John is so HUGE, he does not find strange at all to carry that large piece of metal between his legs for an hour? maybe 2?. It was bussiness as usual for dear old John.

Oh Sherlock. I don’t know if I should envy you, be happy or fear for you. Really.

[loudest-subtext-in-television-d]

truly the meta this community deserves, bless

[unreconstructedfangirl]

LULZ.

[221beemine]

How was there even enough room in his jeans for a massive lever and a massive lever??? Are his jeans a TARDIS?

[wssh-watson-deactivated20191117]

Here nonny for your delectation have a John big dick meta

[byebyefrost-deactivated20170519]

As soon as this appears on my dash, I smash the reblog button.

[hubblegleeflower]

I HAD NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT I LAUGHED LIKE A DONKEY WHEN I SAW THE TITLE.

[morgendaemmerung89]

😂😂😂

[missmuffin221]

truly, utterly brilliant!

[podfixx]

Re-blogging for the ‘laughing like a donkey’ comment.  Thanks, @hubblegleeflower!

[phqyd-roar]

I am always here for John’s big knob discourse

[mylastvow]

How could I miss this one?!? Why did nobody tell me this existed?!? I blame y’all!!!

😂😂😂

[wssh-watson-deactivated20191117]

THE TRUTH

[axiang-n-chengling-s-dads]

This is the quality content I come for on this site

[barbsiebabe]

Taking meta to the next lever

[silver99johnlocked]

Johnaconda

[sherlockedcarmilla]

Bonus:

[posh-boy-clever-boy-deactivated]

It’s the only Meta I accept.

[57circlesofhell-deactivated2015]

Sherlock doesn’t even know he’s a romantic. He doesn’t know how romantic it is to use forensics, math, and human anatomy to plan out a stag night based on places of significance to him and John. He doesn’t know how romantic it is to go their entire relationship not commenting on their relationship only to give a 90-minute speech about how John is your best friend who you’re wholly committed to and who is more interesting than your life’s work. But Sherlock thinks he’s being reasonable, logical, matter of fact because he is. His love for John is a cold hard fact. 

[foremsic-dead-deactivated201501]

my aesthetic: holmes calling watson “john”

[darlingbenny]

ive never loved john more than when he punched the police dude in the face for calling sherlock weird he’s my most favourite john

[darlingbenny]

I LOVE HIM

[gerlocked]

DO YOU EVEN REALISE THAT SHERLOCK STOPPED THE FUCKING BOMB AT 1:28 / 1:29 I MEAN YES YOU KNOW THAT BUT HE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT AT 1:05 OR 1:26 OR WHATEVER BUT FUCK NO?!?!?! HE CHOSE THE GODDAMN DATE WHEN HE MET JOHN FOR THE FIRST TIME?! AND LOOK AT HIS SMILE?!

LOOK JAWN THE BOMB SHOWS OUR DATE ISN’T THAT FUNNY?!

[johnlockunicorn]

Oh sherlock …

[theconsultinglinguist-deactivat]

Oh my sweet gay disaster…

[88thparallel]

“But John constantly tells us he’s not gay!”

Yes, and Sherlock constantly tells us he’s a sociopath. Obviously these two men suck when it comes to self-assessment.

[sherlockspeare]

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

#i love this face#and i love the fact that he looks at molly#who doesn’t look at him#because she’s not john#and actually a nice person#and john and sherlock really aren’t all that nice#and john would have looked at sherlock#with a wtf look#and they would have giggled behind this guys back#because they’re assholes#and it just breaks my heart#that sherlock immediately does this#even though john’s not there#and it makes me wonder#if he’s been doing this for the last two years#all on his own

[lesbianwaves-deactivated2022021]

Beautiful features of each sign:

Aries: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love 

Taurus: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love 

Gemini: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love 

Cancer: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Leo: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Virgo: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Libra: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Scorpio: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Sagittarius: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Capricorn: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Aquarius: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

Pisces: John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are in love

[twomenofnote]

you know what really surprises john when they finally get together? sherlock’s playfulness. the tickle attacks. the nose boops. the silly faces. the surprise wrestling matches in the living room. and what about those giggles? who knew sherlock’s giggles could go that high???

[gaykagome]

for real the line “if I wanted to look at naked women I’d borrow John’s laptop” means there are no naked women on Sherlock’s laptop, yet his porn preference is “normal” so he definitely DOES like porn but no women involved hmmmm guys I’m on the verge of a breakthrough here I’ll think on this for a while and get back

[gaykagome]

wait I got it he’s in love with Molly case closed everyone go home

[johnlockisfuckingcanonokay]

Bullshit ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

[attic-salt-holmes]

Can’t believe I almost forget that there was A HEART… and i mean a fucking heart, over Sherlock and John’s head in The hounds of Baskerville…there are actual people, who take care of every detail on set…and they DELIBERATELY chose to put a bloody heart on top of their heads

[bookgirlwithlove]

Yep

[sussexbound]

And right beneath that heart, and between the two of them, is an empty table set for two with a candle (because it’s more romantic).

[sherlockfandomtandem]

[johnlockismyshockblanket-deacti]

And also right beneath that heart is a ROARING FIRE 🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖

[thealogie]

listen john loves him john literally thinks about him every day for two years and misses him when he’s back and they’re not Together and he is literally so sso afraid when he asks “trying to put me off?” he is so scared sherlock doesn’t need him. i mean he knows sherlock needs him to keep him safe and healthy and not in a drug den but he doesn’t know sherlock NEEDS him he…he LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN SHERLOCK CONFIRMS FINALLY THAT HE WANTS JOHN THERE ON THE CASE LIKE… it issoooo soft and so much love holy god hell…

x

and sherlock is like “in what world would I be the one trying to spend less time with you YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LEFT…”  JEEESUS

[hubblegleeflower]

MARTIN FREEMAN. Literally NOTHING on his face changes, not ONE MUSCLE, but he goes from wistful and sad to warm and soft and I think the difference is in the corner of his mouth and the sparkle of his left eye, and HOW DO YOU CHANGE THE SPARKLE OF YOUR EYE? 

[gregnotgavin]

YALL KNOW THAT LITTLE LIFT IN THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH BRIGHTENED MY WHOLE ROOM. MY WINDOWS JUST SHATTERED. MY DOG WONT STOP BARKING

[gaybaerey]

when sherlock says “we have a client” in asib and john is like “what, in your bedroom?”, he is flirting so hard, this is flirting 101, his voice, his smile hidden in the words, he is like “haha, what a silly way for you to invite me into your bedroom”. sherlock could’ve said “there’s a fire” and john could’ve answered “what, in your pants?” and it would’ve been the s a m e thing

[the-7-percent-solution]

Can you believe. This. Show. John asked if he’d be seeing her again. Sherlock played a farewell tune instead. John and Sherlock both know everything that was said at Battersea. So John thinks he has a chance. Sherlock plays violin some more but later excuses himself to bed, leaving John to contemplate everything that’s happened and try to sleep, disregarding the tension in the air. The next day (as goes John’s blog), they are out, just the two of them, John picking up wine from the market, thinking “this is it, today is my day, everything is going perfectly, I’ll lay it on thick”. Sherlock invites John to his room, John brings the wine and his “A” game, only go be stopped dead in his tracks. Then John has to watch as Sherlock and Irene share a few moments. Not only is he jealous, he’s confused, thinking he was the one who Sherlock chose. But then Sherlock starts to ignore them both, sitting in his chair, plucking the song he wrote for Irene on his violin. John can’t take it anymore. He complains to Irene about how Sherlock doesn’t notice when he leaves, sometimes talking aloud to no one. John leaves the flat in defeat, making sure to stay out for a few hours or maybe even all night, because Irene stayed in Sherlock’s robe and made no attempt to get dressed. John knew she would only take it off for one reason. And he couldn’t bear to see that happen.

[elldotsee]

…..goddammit. 

[formerprincewille]

Anyway, at this point johnlock is canon.

John and Rosie move into 221b and it’s like “wait only two bedrooms oh nooooo what shall we ever do? 👀” And Sherlock is a gentleman and offers John his bed and he will of course sleep on the couch and John says “don’t be ridiculous” and so it only makes sense for them to share a bed PLATONICALLY of course.

But then one night, after a few weeks of this arrangement, John is like “is this normal? I mean…do friends do this sort of thing?” And Sherlock says “I doubt it. But then, when have we ever been normal?” And looks over to John with a soft smile and John looks back and they both burst into giggles just like that first night.

And John closes the distance between them like it’s the most natural thing in the world, because it IS. Because it’s real and it fits and Sherlock makes a sound like he’s broken and the two of them kiss and kiss and kiss, like they’ve got all the time in the world. Because they do, now. They have that time.

And eventually Rosie cries on the baby monitor and John breaks the kiss to get her and Sherlock says “I’ll come with” and the two of them share sweet sipping kisses while tending to the baby and John says “You’re going to kill me! I’m trying to be a proper parent here,” and Sherlock shrugs and says “Rosie needs to get used to seeing us this way anyway” and John is like “Oi! I don’t really want our little girl to watch us make out.”

And Sherlock freezes and his eyes fill and he says “Our little girl?” And John realizes and his heart breaks a little and he and Rosie go into Sherlock’s arms and both clutch at him and John says “of course, yes, OURS” and if his voice wavers a little with unshed tears, Sherlock doesn’t mention it.

They hold each other like that until their daughter is sleeping soundly once more and they put her back in her crib and when they make love, it’s at the same unhurried pace that they kissed. Because they have the time now. They have forever.

[qthewetsprocket]

John’s fear of water

I think we can all agree that Martin Freeman is an acting god, yes? Several times throughout the course of the whole series, he’s given me serious meta / plot bunnies from a TOTALLY SILENT reaction to something that another character is saying.

Just a shift in body language, or a facial expression, that makes you think, “wow…there’s a HUGE story here that we’re not being told in the episode.”

And in The Final Problem, he has done it to me again, bless his bastardy boots.

It’s in the scene where John gets tired of all the hot air in the office, and steps outside for some sea air instead:

Now, this could have just been a reminder shot for the audience: they’re alone; they’re isolated; miles and hours from any help.

But look at John’s face.

That’s a really strong reaction. It’s not just discomfort…it’s verging on terror. He flinches away, tries to control his breathing, and all but runs back inside…it’s almost like he’s having a panic attack.

Why would John Watson be so afraid of water?

At first I thought there must have been some childhood trauma that gave him a phobia of water, and that’s why Euros put him in the well. Which would have been great if we’d ever been given any backstory on John Watson at all thanks Mofftiss. (Ahem. Sorry. Personal sore point there.)

(gif by @constantlyfreemaned)

But that wasn’t it - or at least if it was, we weren’t shown that ‘emotional context’ within the episode. So, what could it be instead?

I think two other scenes give us a clue. First, from later on in the episode:

(gifs by the brilliant @sherlockspeare)

This was such an odd line to me… Maybe it was something John said to his patients in Afghanistan who’d suffered interrogations. Maybe he said it to a fellow soldier when they were captured…or maybe it was something he said to himself, over and over, after he was taken prisoner.

The second clue comes from The Six Thatchers:

Again, that’s a really strong reaction. It’s not just ‘oh shit’ or ‘well that’s it, we’re screwed now’…that’s a nearly full fetal position. It’s a duck-and-cover protect-your-head movement, and very uncharacteristic of Captain John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fuiliers, BAMF ex-army doctor.

And he did it when AJ mentioned being tortured. For fun.

As an army doctor, I have no idea if John would have been given RTI training. But would he have needed it? Would he have had any privileged military knowledge at all, ie, what troops were stationed where, or what their next moves were?

In other words: would he have had the kind of information that would be tactically useful to the enemy?

I doubt it.

True, he was an officer, but he was a surgeon…probably stationed at a single military hospital, treating patients who came in from all over the map. The military operates on a pretty strict need-to-know basis, and I don’t imagine a surgeon would need to know anything about the combat units’ inner workings.

So if he was captured and tortured, they wouldn’t have gotten much out of him. And I think they probably knew that: they just wanted to torture someone. For fun.

And how was he probably tortured?

My conclusion: John was a POW in Afghanistan, where he was subjected to some sort of water torture - probably waterboarding - by his captors. And since he didn’t have any sensitive military intelligence, they didn’t do it for information…they just did it for fun.

tl;dr - Damn you, Martin “I can do that with a look” Freeman, and your amazing plot-bunny-giving “acting is reacting, lovey” talent.

[couldntpossiblycomment-deactiva]

I O U: Ten Reasons Why John Watson is Actually Moriarty

(1)   They already told us:

They’ve been telling us since Season 1:

See also:

(2)  Are We Sure That Little Girl is Pointing At Sherlock.  Are we sure.  Are we positive.

(3)  The Storyteller. 

Who’s the storyteller of the Sherlock Holmes canon again?

(4)  Sherlock’s first introduction to John (and his subsequent deductions) is paralleled to his first introduction to Moriarty:

Of course Sherlock’s deductions about Moriarty are totally wrong, manipulated by fake characteristics that were planted to fool Sherlock into dismissing him.

But let’s face it - faking an entirely psychosomatic limp that you can forget about half the time, offering a phone that’s been engraved with “clues,” and loudly declaring “different from back in my day” when you enter the room aren’t much more difficult than irritating one’s own eyes to suggest that you go clubbing and picking up a visible underwear brand.

More beneath the cut…

Keep reading

[57circlesofhell-deactivated2015]

Remember when this show was subtle? You shouldn’t because it never has been.

[sussexbound]

I never noticed the empty table set for dinner between them.  Could the symbolism be any stronger.  There’s that heart for romantic love, there’s that raging fire, and there’s that empty table, just sitting there like the elephant in the room,  They could be ‘eating’ and they’re not.  There’s just all this goddamned tension, and heat, and love between them, but they just can’t bring themselves to take those couple of steps to the table and sit down to ‘eat’.

The reason?  There are still so many misunderstandings between them, which we are about to find out in this scene where Sherlock has his meltdown, and John reacts badly, and neither knows what it was really about or how to fix it.

[loudest-subtext-in-television-d]

OH MY GOD I NEVER…

MY HEART LITERALLY JUST DID A WEIRD SKIPPED BEAT THING????

AN EMPTY TABLE

SET FOR DINNER

BETWEEN THEM

BUT THEY’RE JUST SITTING THERE

WITH THEIR BACKS TURNED

LOOKING AT THE FIRE

A DISTANCE APART

[gerlocked]

THERE IS EVEN A FUCKING CANDLE ON THE TABLE

A BURNING CANDLE

LIKE IN ASIP

AND ANOTHER THING:

USUALLY WAITERS LIGHT THE CANDLE WHEN THE TABLE IS TAKEN OR NOT?!

SO THIS SHITTY TABLE IS RESERVED FOR JOHN AND SHERLOCK

AND NOW LOOK AT THIS SCREENSHOT OF ASIP!!!

AND THERE IS EVEN THIS PURPLE SUBTLE LIGHT AGAIN

[57circlesofhell-deactivated2015]

Is everyone OK? sussexbound what have you done

[sussexbound]

I don’t know!!!  But, every time I see this post come back ‘round my dash, it just keeps getting better & better! ^_^

[redvanillabee]

And the salt and pepper shakers! They are together!

[aeveris-oldblog-deactivated2020]

sometimes i wish this show wasn’t so extra with its subtext so we could all just REST

[sherlockedcarmilla]

This fandom shall never rest. Good. 

[the-signs-of-two]

screaming intensifies

[spenglernot]

A classic.

[gosherlocked]

Always reblog.