Danger Ehren Having A Short Partner Would Include:
This was a super cute idea from @apocalypse-allie based on my post about discovering that Ehren is 6'1 (meowww). I kept this one pretty gender neutral; there's a couple NSFW bullets scattered throughout, which are indicated with 3 asterisks as always. Enjoy!
Tag List: @eyesofaliar @xx-st44r-xx @ @xxangelbunnyxx @whynotwhenyes @kellynickelsgirl00 @heavier-than-heaven95 @johnnyfuckingpisces
First off, Ehren's over 6 feet tall, so there's a pretty wide margin for being "short" in comparison to him. Whether you're 5'0 and he towers over you, or you're 5'10 and he's only got a few inches on you, standing next to Ehren will probably make you feel a little short.
Going off of that, Ehren being very cute and non-pretentious about being taller than you. He's not the type to poke fun at you for being shorter, or to act all macho about it. He'll use it to be helpful, and he'll use it to make you feel safe or to give you affectionate, but outside of that, he rarely brings it up. If someone else mentions it, Ehren will 100% deny it to be funny and insist you and him are basically the same height, even if you're very obviously a foot shorter.
Speaking of Ehren using his height to be helpful, he loves grabbing stuff for you that you can't reach and hoisting you up a little if you can't see something. He never says anything about it though, and I feel like he'd only do it if you explicitly asked him to or if you very clearly need his help; he doesn't want to come off condescending!
In terms of using his height to be affectionate, I'm definitely thinking Ehren loves to kiss your forehead and the top of your head. Could be while you're out in public together, or while you're snuggled up in bed, or while you're cuddling on the couch, or even just as a way to say a quick goodbye before he goes off to do a stunt. Like he'll look down at you with this really sweet, soft-eyed look, and then he'll just lean down and give you a cute little peck on the top of your head.
*** Ehren loving to hoist you up on countertops, tables, and other raised surfaces when you have sex cuz it's a little more comfortable given the height difference. I can also see him physically picking you up and putting you up against a wall for a similar reason!
Tons of snuggling and cuddling and hugs where Ehren completely envelopes you in his arms and makes you feel all warm and safe and secure. If you're laying in a bed or on a couch with him, he'll 100% wrap his lanky legs around you too, just to give the full effect >:)))
Conversely, Ehren wanting you to hold him when you're spooning. He loves being the little spoon because it's one of the only times he gets to be held instead of vice versa. He loves when you hold him and play with his hair and rub his back, and I think if you did that even when the two of you weren't spooning, his brain would actually short circuit and he'd just completely melt into your arms.
Ehren being obsessed with you wearing his stuff and seeing it be longer on you than it is on him. Seriously, if you want to put him in a good mood, just wear one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers and you're golden. If you're plus-sized, he'll intentionally buy clothing in bigger sizes so you can still steal his stuff to wear :) I think his biggest weakness would be you in one of his sweaters.
Speaking of sweaters...Ehren wanting you to wear matching outfits with him cuz he thinks it looks so cute with your height difference! The guys will 100% make fun of him when the two of you show up to the Christmas party in matching ugly sweaters, or when you wear a matching couple's costume to the Halloween party that plays off the height difference, but Ehren couldn't care less. He loves it, and he also knows it's a total crowd pleaser regardless of how much the Jackass guys like to give him shit for it. The photos taken of you and Ehren in your matching outfits always make it onto holiday cards!
Ehren leaning/slouching down to kiss you, or letting you wrap your arms around his neck and physically pull him down. If you're really short, I could even see him picking you up and letting you wrap your legs around his waist so you can reach his lips!
*** Elements of size kink occasionally coming up when you and Ehren have sex. I don't think he'd be super obvious about it or anything, but I could see him loving it when the two of you do positions where he can completely cover your body or cage you in a little and make you feel safe and loved while he's fucking you. I also think he'd like it if your hands were smaller than his, but again, he wouldn't outright say anything cuz he doesn't wanna make it weird.
Knoxville and the other taller Jackass guys fucking with Ehren by poking fun at your height. Ehren won't do it, but they certainly will; depending on how short you are, Knoxville will probably rest his elbow on your head like you're a table and gleefully ignore you when you tell him to knock it off. Usually, Ehren's response to someone else making fun of your height is to pull you away protectively and make a joke that no one can call you short except him, even though he never brings up your height or makes fun of you for it anyway.
Ehren occasionally wearing your clothes, either to be funny or just because he thinks it's cute! He's definitely stretched out some of your stuff, although you don't tell him that cuz you don't want him to feel bad or stop doing it. You've definitely got photos somewhere of him wearing one of your shirts and it being visibly too short.
dave's episode on the pod has definitely been my favorite so far.
it makes so much sense that he's an only child. i think it's a universal experience for us to all play with doorstoppers, eat/choke on cold hotdogs, and do stupid shit to get accepted by the neighborhood kids <3
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