how is hitsugaya's path so overlooked?
it has SO MUCH material for angst
he grew up being despised by every person in his neighbourhood except for his sister and his grandma. he was dispised to the point that even shopkeepers would refuse to give his change directly on his hands because they were disgusted and didn't want to touch him.
he had no interest in the shinigami academy and refused to leave home when recruited by Rangiku because he wanted to stay and live taking care of his grandma, only to find out that his very presence is what was making her sick, only reinforcing that the neighbours were right to avoid him like a plague.
he made his first real friend in life at the Shinigami Academy, a friend for whom he was willing to give up on graduating as a Shinigami, only to be betrayed by him and forced to watch him die. from then on, he forever wielded the sword that, had things gone the way he wished, would've belonged to his friend.
he had to fight his own sister (the first person who cared about him and, for a long time, the only one) because her capitain left behind a phostumous letter, instructing her to murder him. from his perspective, even someone who grew up with him and loved him as much as Hinamori was able to believe he could be dangerous.
later on, he stabs his sister and watches her bleed out in his arms, barely surviving by a hair.
everything that happened to Toshiro throughout his lifetime only reinforced the first message the world gave him: he is dangerous to the ones he love, and no matter his good intentions, he is undeserving of belonging, as his presence inevitably brings pain no matter if he's trying to be something good.
i NEED a fanfiction that explores the impacts of this learning history. this repeated pattern of being allowed to love every once in a life time -> trying to protect this loved one -> becoming the reason why they suffer.
i NEED a fanfiction that explores what it means to grow up with so little human warmth, to be physically avoided by everyone except than his family.
i need Karin to be the first to willingly offer him a warm, heartfelt and sincere hug and i need him to shiver when it happens. i need him to fear nothing but love, because love was the only place in his life where his strenght never guaranteed safety.
im asexual, my smut is suffering. i need people crying and tearing at their faces under the weight of their own emotions.
Karin also has a lot of angst material (her brother going missing just when she was recovered from her mothers death, and the fact that the anime states that she never cried again after Masaki died but she cried while asking toshiro if he knew where was ichigo) but thats for another day
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