and i will always love you!

john / 18 / m / washington / asexual so an asexual and an aromantic walk into a bar... [ indie rp blog for john egbert! ]

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

JOHN. THAT MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE. THE CONS WERE NOT EVEN IN THE AIR A GOOD PORTION OF THE MOVIE. AND NICOLAS CAGE IS THE UGLIEST HUMAN BEING I’VE EVER SEEN. HE MAY EVEN BE UGLIER AND LESS TALENTED THAN EVEN YOU. ALSO DID YOU JUST TOUCH MY ASS???

[jokekind]

what, no! you’re just feeling things. I totally didn’t touch your butt! (hehe) maybe you should just sit down since you’re feeling phantom butt touches. (hehe)

oh come on, karkat! days after, you kept asking me if i had put the bunny in the box! also, what is it with you and there not being enough airplane scenes? if you ask me, they spent plenty of time in the air. but that’s not even the point! you’re missing the whole point of the movie by focusing on how long they were in airplanes! thanks for the complement but there’s no way i’m more talented than nick cage! i mean, he’s no matt mcconaughey, but he’s definitely one of the greatest actors of our time!

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

[ please. please follow my fiance @jokekind they are such a good john. i love them. i love e thm so much i!!! ]

[jokekind]

((UM DIDNT UR MOTHER TEACH U NOT TO TELL LIES))

[jokekind]

well, karkat ol buddy ol pal, maybe you actually missed me? because despite being a grumpy asshole you probably missed our fun times?

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

I MISSED NOTHING AND YOU DISGUST ME YOU IDIOTIC LITTLE HUMAN. I WAS SIMPLY BORED AND NEEDED A DISTRACTION. 

[jokekind]

it’s ok, you angry asshole. *secretly slips a very small woopie cushion in karkat’s back pocket* you can admit it to me, just like i know you enjoyed watching con air that one time, even though you denied it!

[jokekind]

((ok since i haven’t been on here in 5000000000 yrs, well ok just about a yr or so, let me reintroduce myself to anyone who might wander onto my blog. first, are you lost? no? you sure? ok. well my name is Bunny. i am literally the shyest rper that you have ever met. no really. i’m scared to approach people for rps. just my lov my life who rps karkat and dave, thats why i made this blog was to rp with them. i’m all good with other people interacting with me though! if you send me shit, i’ll respond! but like, i’m too nervous/shy to initiate things myself.... i have been called the irl john egbert before, and altho it’s been a while since i’ve rped him, i’m sure that these complementary peanuts that are totally not snakes in cans will decide that for you! if you’ll just walk in front of me into that totally not suspicious room we can continue the tour!))

[jokekind]

i, john egbert, the wind, go where i want not where i’m needed!

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

WHY DID I EVEN FUCKING ASK??

[jokekind]

well, karkat ol buddy ol pal, maybe you actually missed me? because despite being a grumpy asshole you probably missed our fun times?

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

[thethreshecutioner-deactivated2]

WHERE IS JOHN WHEN YOU NEED HIM??

[jokekind]

i, john egbert, the wind, go where i want not where i’m needed!

[jokekind]

Sorry i knocked up yo daughter. :o!

what the fuck, sebastian! get out of my house!

[jokekind]

you’re kidding me, right? if it were up to me, i’d say no, absolutely not! you’re nothing but trouble, and i told casey she should break up with you months ago! but this is really HER choice, not mine, even if i don’t approve. you’ll have to ask her.

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

Shit why you all up and hate me i didnt do anything :o(

[jokekind]

it's not that i hate you. maybe slight dislike, but not really hate. i also just think you're no good for my daughter! you didn't do anything? where do i start! you always come into my house stoned out of your mind just like your dad, and you got my daughter pregnant because you were irresponsible!

[jokekind]

Sorry i knocked up yo daughter. :o!

what the fuck, sebastian! get out of my house!

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

So can i marry her or… :o?

[jokekind]

you're kidding me, right? if it were up to me, i'd say no, absolutely not! you're nothing but trouble, and i told casey she should break up with you months ago! but this is really HER choice, not mine, even if i don't approve. you'll have to ask her.

[jokekind]

Sorry i knocked up yo daughter. :o!

what the fuck, sebastian! get out of my house!

[askcavalier]

Reblog if...

Your blog is anon-friendly

Your blog is open to starters aimed at them

Your blog willing to respond to open starters

Your blog is open to questions about headcanons

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

{{ the best friend }}:

wait really? uh, that’s awkward… i’m just going to leave that alone though, because the last thing i need is either another lecture about troll romance stuff or to have him throwing something at my head because i’m not listening to him when he’s talking about troll romance stuff.

i mean if my boyfriend wasnt listening to my interests then id probably be pissed too wtf john

[jokekind]

i DO listen though! well, some of the time at least. its just that some of the things that he talks about can be really boring or really confusing! you know how he can be some times!

[jokekind]

#more like intense KATred

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU JUST TRIED TO USE MY NAME IN ONE OF YOUR SHITTY LITTLE PUNS. YOU DISGUST ME, HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT?

[jokekind]

aw come on, karkat! don't be such a stick in the mud! you know you enjoy my puns sometimes...

[jokekind]

((to everyone who has followed me so far tonight, welcome aboard john egbert international pls remain calm and in your seats as i the pilet am not flying the plane and have no idea what im doing also do not look inside your complementary parachutes because they are actually just filled with creme pies damn u john egbert!))

[compassionateanimosity-blog]

//Im dead laughing just from this omg

Are you IRL John egbert?

[jokekind]

((some have said i am the messiah, the one true john, but im just a simple john rper with the passion of a thousand fruit gushers that i actually replaced your pillow with. your welcome.))

[jokekind]

bullshit! you just want a piece of this hot egbert ass, and you know it!

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

#INTENSE HATRED

[jokekind]

#more like intense KATred

[jokekind]

((to everyone who has followed me so far tonight, welcome aboard john egbert international pls remain calm and in your seats as i the pilet am not flying the plane and have no idea what im doing also do not look inside your complementary parachutes because they are actually just filled with creme pies damn u john egbert!))

[jokekind]

sorry about that… you don’t have to worry about it though because i explained everything to him using those weird troll romance terms. i’m not sure about half of what i said since it’s all based on what i got from those romcoms he made me watch, but it calmed him down.

[rumpkind-deactivated20160514]

calmed him down wtf no he told me he ships us pale im like dude im not interested in your troll quadrants me and john are humans we dont do mwah rails stuff

[jokekind]

wait really? uh, that's awkward... i'm just going to leave that alone though, because the last thing i need is either another lecture about troll romance stuff or to have him throwing something at my head because i'm not listening to him when he's talking about troll romance stuff.