CW // Dec 18th, suicide, depression and anxiety related issues
I know Iāve been saying this for a while, but I think Iām ready to finally leave this app for good.
The past year has been horrible for me. I had gone through a lot of cyber bullying in inbox and dms involving Jonghyunās death and it had contributed to my mental health worsening to the point where I couldnāt function properly in my day to day life due to those people saying those things about me being a disrespectful person, just for having him as my bias. I had seen a drastic drop in my self esteem and mood to the point where I would have days where I would be suicidal just because of those damaging messages that they would send to blingers.
And by that, this is why I decided that itās time to go. This app was the reason why I found it hard to move on from his death. Iām literally still grieving over him because there are people out there who are trying to change the way I cope with it. Itās already hard as it is to deal with what happened, but to be treated differently from the other Shawols ā to be told that youāre a bad person just for acting like any other fan but towards Jonghyun I would be seen as someone who is exploiting a ādeadmanā or āsomeone who killed himself.ā These are real words that I had to endure every month in this app, and itās starting to put a big toll on me. I knew that this app was never for me, especially with how the users would treat newbies. I feel like an outcast in this app, which is why I had bad experiences here.
Anyone who wants to keep in touch, I have a wattpad account naegayougaega or my snapchat baby_brucelee and I promise Iāll try to text as many people as I can. Iām so sorry I couldnāt stay for too long. Everything is just becoming too much for me, and I need weight taken off immediately. This has been me suffering for nearly a year now on an app that I thought was a new beginning for me, but it had also taken over my mind and I could of taken my own life a couple of times. I just need to get my mind off this app, and thatās why Iāll be leaving and possibly deleting this account.
Everyone you can reblog this post just to show how bad cyber bullying can affect people and use it to showcase why you guys shouldnāt treat people the way you do. At the end of the day, there are real people behind the screen that are just the same as you. They may be new, or they mind not. Either way, that doesnāt give you the rights to harass them just because they used hashtags wrong or something like that.
Although I hate this app and I have a bad view of it, I want people to change here ā not like you guys would since most users are stubborn terminally online trolls, but I want you guys to see yourselves as the person you are about to harass. How would you like it if you was in their shoes. You wouldnāt like it if you made a simple mistake and then someone harasses you for it. Or even you happily talking about your favourite celebrity but people harassing you just because that so-called celebrity is deceased. Itās not fair on you, and everyone else that are affected by this. So please, donāt turn this app into another intolerable twitter disaster. There are people who has been on this app since the beginning, and Iām pretty sure they donāt want to see it turn into shit. Think about them, and the reputation you would want for this app. You donāt want people to see this app as filled with lonely dumbasses who fights people even though they agree on the same thing but in different views.
Thatās all Iād ask from you. Thank you for reading.
