Life As

A gallery of my originals, and of what inspires me from others.

[jonramirez]

Video by: StopTheCap

Honestly. I'm over it. People, life, expectations, "how it's supposed to be", and anything in-between. Just w/e bro. I do not give af anymore. LEAVE ME TF ALONE.

[jonramirez]

Bandit in October 2024! :D Playing with some color editing. I'm a big fan of this atmosphere. Definitely going to try and cary it over to other things.

[jonramirez]

10 years ago this month, I published a video titled Memory IV. I have written about it in a couple of indirect ways over the years but never definitively.

I mean, with everything I have shared about it, I'm sure most know that Memory IV was never completed. I have spent a lot of time thinking about that.

"You have failed completely to tell the story." -V.M. Straka, Ship of Theseus.

I did try to show more of what we had filmed as the years have past, but it didn't take. That's ok. I know you may not care anymore, but it really is not about that for me. Anyways, I am happy to celebrate this video. It means a lot to me.

Here are some stills.

[jonramirez]

Travis Scott - The Plan

The first time I watched TENET, I was inspired by inversion and intrigued by the music, but I didn't go crazy for the film right away. However, upon recent inspiration, I remembered just how interesting the music of the film was and it was this song in particular that stuck out. After a couple of amazing listens, I re-visited the film, listened to the films score, and fell in love with so much of it. This song in particular is an incredible piece of art.

[jonramirez]

An excerpt from S. by JJ Abrams and Doug Dorst that resonated with me and my journey with cardistry.

First of all, S. is a book I started reading in 2013, "finished" in 2016, but still have not fully figured out to this day. It is a fascinating book/project, though. A big inspiration for mystery type things. So, how does this speak to my journey with cardistry?

One of the bigger ideas in that excerpt from S. that has always had my attention is the questioning of, "How do you reinvent yourself?" Funny enough, that is one of the themes that the book S. really brings into question. I relate this to how I feel like I never fully explored my desire for storytelling in the art (even though I would say I was doing that). That is what had me so excited about the approach for Memory IV. Specifically, the thought from Josh and I was to do Memory IV documentary like, and I have sat on that idea for many, many years. In fact, I have sat on many ideas for many, many years.

I'm sure there has to be a reason for that.

"What beings at the water shall end there, and what ends there shall once more begin." -V.M. Straka, Ship of Theseus

[jonramirez]

This month, 15 years ago, I created my YouTube channel. The screen captures here are from my video Simulation which ended up being uploaded on my birthday that same month. Happy anniversary to me! haha.

Looking back on this makes me happy. Uploading that video meant a lot to me as it was the start to me finding my voice in Cardistry. It took me a while, a long while, but I believe that I've found it and that would not have happened had I not started.

I have more I can say on this, but I am going to save that for another time. Anyways, if you remember this video, I appreciate you!

-Jon R.

[jonramirez]

This is how 2025 starts.

[jonramirez]

The question you need to ask yourself is: What kind of hero are you going to be? Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake, or will you live with them, and move forward?

Jay Garrick from The Flash

[jonramirez]

In-Between Many Ideas

Lately, I have been working on different things. 

One that I am enjoying is my screenplay for school. I love writing stories. This one has been a real process, too. I am already thinking about how I am going to send it to a friend via mail. Like, I think that will be really cool. I am also thinking of sharing the opening of it online via my Instagram (most likely will). I mocked up a story post on instagram a few weeks ago, but I didn’t post it—classic!

Something else that I have been working on has been making a song. A few actually. At least, I have written a couple. I have only laid verses to a beat twice this year, and one of them I actually like enough to say is a finished song (minus some re-writing). I have goals with this, but I have no idea when anything of the sort will be done. 

I am contemplating performing a few of the “songs” more as slam poetry. I mean, they were not intended as such, honestly, but I have no idea how I am supposed to take lyrics I have written to a rhythm in my head and find a beat that matches (I don’t make music). I do have other ideas for them as well, though. Super into this project!

Honestly, I am just looking to create and share things right now. Mainly create art. I am still figuring out how I would like to get back to sharing (this is a start), but I feel as though I will soon. I hesitate to post about all the things I have been doing, but I have been creating things, and it has been fun. That is really what matters to me most right now—my happiness.

I will end this here. Thank you for reading.

[jonramirez]

Disney 2018

This trip to Disney was to celebrate my brothers 18th birthday! Being there was special for me as well.

My moms co-worker, Kim, and her daughter, treated my brother David to a trip to Disneyland to celebrate him turning 18. It was such a nice gesture. He really enjoyed the trip, too. That Lilo and Stitch hat he is wearing was bought on the day and the shop stitched his name into it which looks awesome. I have a ton of photographs and videos from this day that I look back on often. It was a day that I’ll never forget from the standpoint of our family, but also because of what it meant to me outside of the birthday.

See, this was my first time back to Disneyland in 10 years. My last visit, prior to this one, was in 2008 and it was with James and Hailey. On that day, the three of us went to visit the park, yes, but I more specifically remember that we went to film for the “blink card” gimmick that James made to replicate Daniel Madison's “CHANGE” effect. Man o’ man did that turn into an ordeal for us haha. Perhaps I’ll share more on that day in a different post, but overall, I wish I had the trailer that I made from that footage. Perhaps the footage is still on the laptop I used to edit it, but last I checked, that search went nowhere. Nonetheless, it was an odd feeling to visit the park again after 10 years.

I think that feeling comes from my focus on time and, more specifically, my focus on revisiting places you’ve been. See, there is a line I love from the film Cloud Atlas that goes, “We trace and retrace our steps like figure skaters.” Ever since I heard it in the trailer for that film, I cannot stop seeing ways in which I end up back in places that I have been. Especially after long periods of time.

[jonramirez]

For what, I don't know, but I am searching–furiously.

Jon Ramirez

[jonramirez]

I have OCD. Feeling like things have to be a “certain way” has burdened me since I was little. That is just the tip of the iceberg with OCD, though.

It has since become debilitating. I set unrealistically high standards for myself too often, and in my obsessive pursuit of reaching them, in success or failure, I cause harm to my mental health. As aforementioned, this is just one aspect of my OCD.

[jonramirez]

Self Portrait

Photograph by Jon Ramirez

[jonramirez]

California Waves

Photograph by Jon Ramirez

[jonramirez]

Fall 2019 

 I haven't really felt like myself lately. 

Photograph by David J Pavia

Struggling every day with depression and OCD has taken a toll on my mind. It has affected my motivation and my ability to get things done creatively. I have many ideas and stories that I am working on, but it is not easy for me right now. Believe me when I say that I am trying. Every day, I am trying, and if you know anything about me, you know that I never give up. 

[jonramirez]

On stage

 Snow covered the ground outside.

Students rehearsed as we watched from the seats above. The organ pipes looked beautiful and the space had a great feeling to it. However, once we got on stage, we decided it wasn't what we were after. We had tried a stage once before some years back, so maybe it was just too familiar.

Photograph by Josh Brand

[jonramirez]

Photograph from production of the short film I wrote titled Fear What You've Found in 2018. Photograph by Spencer Dilley