Cotton-headed Ninny-muggins

My main blog is Dontkillthejooleia, but this is where i post all my original stuff, things i make up on my own, my pictures, or just stuff I don't want everyone to see. :P [mobile blogger]

[purgatory-jar]

Another of the commissions I did lately <3 I thought we might all need a bit of fluff tonight so I’m publishing it now <3 

[destielfanfic]

DESTIEL: We’re here. We’re queer.

After a running success of our first Pride post, we are back with a new fic rec post. Please check out the first one for more detailed resources and enjoy fics from this post. First time recced on the blog fics are marked with asterisk [*]. (link to other rec lists)

Thank you, Elena, for letting us to use your art!  Link to artist’s tumblr: @purgatory-jar  !!! <3

Queer destiel

A Heart Of Books by angvlicmish [T, 6,900 word count] *

Castiel works at a bookstore and recommends Dean LGBT+ books. 

Peak Homosexual by K_K_TiBal [T, 3,800 word count] *

You know that thing that happens where you hear something really homophobic in public so you gay it up as much as you can? This is that story. [deancas tropefest midwinter 5k 2018]

Celebrity coming out

Falling Through the Ice by althaclena (sub rec) [NC-17, 22,600 word count]

Dean’s finally retired from the Dallas Stars, and he’s back at his original home ice-rink for a publicity stunt for his autobiography. Problem is, he has to do something that terrifies him. Second problem is, he has to do it in front of the man he was best friends with as a kid, until the ice cracked under him and he was left on the wrong side of an increasingly large chasm. A story about smashing expectations (and some pumpkins), what it means to be brave, and how to follow your heart. Also, smut.

Whisper Its Name by delicious-irony (deliciousirony), supernatural9917 [M, 5,000 word count] * 

English actor Castiel Novak is determined to make Balthazar Roché’s masterpiece novel into a film. All-American beefcake Dean Winchester is determined to shake off typecasting and prove his acting chops. Can they get past their initial dislike of each other and do justice to the tragic romance at the heart of Whisper Its Name?  [deancas tropefest midwinter 5k 2018]

Asexual!cas

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal [T, 6,300 word count] *

Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you’re going with it.

Grey ace!cas

Should’ve Just Asked by scaramouche [NC-17, 77,900 word count]

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird. [dcbb 2016]

Demisexual!cas

Just Your Heart, In Exchange For Mine by noxsoulmate [M, 46,800 word count]

Dean owns a bakery and Castiel loves his pie. This could be such a cute little bakery love story – if it weren’t for the fact that one was a retired hunter and the other one a powerful witch. There’s also the matter of the black little cat Dean finds in front of his bakery one cold and rainy night. Not to forget the crazy witch on the loose, ripping out other witches’ hearts. [2016 SPN Reverse Bang]

Agender & Transgender 

Orange You Glad by shiphitsthefan [NC-17, 6,000 word count] * (season 8, canon divergent, fallen Cas)

Dean hates farmers markets and everything that they stand for. However, following a conversation with a new friend, an aptly-timed epiphany, and some impromptu pie-sharing, Dean’s definitely rethinking that opinion. 

Made Manifest by schmerzerling [M, 7,000 word count] * (pre-slash, FTM Dean, pre series til 4x01)

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

Lipstick by soupernabturel (sub rec) [NC-117, 184,000 word count]

It’s the typical story of Boy-meets Boy-next door. Except Boy 1 isn’t exactly all that he seems, and boy 2 is less of a boy than she’d have others believe.

Closeted bisexual and falling for a dude? That’s a recipe for disaster

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall [T, 109,00 word count] *

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as ‘closeted’ and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he’s a kick ass chef, thank you very much. (He may have a point about the ‘closeted’ thing).

Cas is straight. OR IS HE?

Get Your Motor Runnin’ by supernatural9917 [NC-17, 11,000 word count] *

Dean Winchester knows nothing about cars, so now that he’s inherited his dad’s 1967 Chevy Impala, he’ll need all the help he can get from the only mechanic his dad ever trusted: Cas Novak, proprietor of Novak Automotive Repair & Restoration. Cas offers to teach Dean basic car maintenance in exchange for getting to drive Baby sometimes, and Dean jumps at the chance to spend more time with the handsome, witty mechanic. Unfortunately for Dean’s growing crush, Cas is also completely straight… [DeanCas FlipFest 2018]

kissing strangers series by sharkfish [NC-17, 7,000 word count] *

“You’re going to be kissing six different strangers, blindfolded, and you’re going to be rating them on a scale from one to ten.“

Dean is straight. OR IS HE?

In A Bi Way by casbean [T, 2,600 word count] *

Dean tries really hard to be a good person. But when he starts having invasive thoughts about his gay roommate, things that his dad used to say start making sense. Thankfully, Cas is there to help clear things up.

And as always,  if you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos!

**For those concerned about word “queer”, please check out Wikipedia article Queer Nation, and this tumblr post and this post for some historical background information. 

[destielfanfic]

Happy Pride Month, folks!!! 

[dailybipuns]

Okay, hot take? Bisexual and pansexual are functionally synonyms, and the decision to ID as one or the other comes down to personal preference and interpretation, and any attempt to further separate the two is driving a wedge between two communities that should have nothing but love and solidarity for one another. 

We have more in common than not, and the words for our respective identities should not be pitted against each other. 

[swordshapedleaves]

Yeah with overlapping identities like this I just go for whichever one I like the pride flag the most.

[dailybipuns]

That’s so valid. 

[love-geofffree-deactivated20190]

There is a distinction between pansexual and bisexual but it is a very fine line, so fine that people who fit the definition for pansexual better may ID as bisexual instead for a variety of personal reasons and vice versa. But there is a distinction and acting like they are perfect synonyms can be quite invalidating.

Bisexual - attraction to multiple genders where gender is a factor within the attraction, and can include a preference for one gender over another, or attraction that feels different when it’s directed at a specific gender.

Pansexual- attraction to people regardless of gender. Gender is not a factor, you’d expect a blanket sensation of attraction regardless of which gender it is attracted to, and no sense of intuitive gender preference (though perhaps a logical one).

Notice that neither of these definitions actually exclude transgender or non-binary people and arguing otherwise is biphobic and transphobic. But there is still a distinction - practically, the issues they face and the relationships they will end up in are the same, but emotionally and subjectively they feel different.

[j-erin]

Me reading the first post: I totally agree 100% quit telling me that calling myself bisexual means I’m transphobic

Me reading post four: OH I never heard that distinction before. Being attracted to masculine ppl DOES feel different to me than being attracted to feminine ppl. It never occurred to me that pansexual people experienced attraction different from me in that way. Today I have learned something.

[ebonyheartnet]

Okay, so this is a better explanation than I have seen before, and I’m really glad it crossed my dash. *throws love and support @ my bi and pan friends across the globe bc they’re all valid*

[03josten]

[ruffboi-mags]

HALLELUJAH I had actually never seen an explanation for “pansexual” other than “attracted to AAAAAALL genders” (often, unfortunately, with a side helping of “including trans ppl unlike bi people”). This is very helpful THANK YOU.

[jooleiasthoughts]

Sooooo I’m bi then. That clears up a little bit of my sexuality I guess!

[jooleiasthoughts]

Oof, I just found this account after 2+ years of inactivity. Um. That last post was from 2017 I think? Please don’t scroll down unless you want to know way too much about me.

[dontkillthejooleia]

Mood: listening to Disturbed while scrolling past porn on my dash

[dontkillthejooleia]

So a little update on my life right now

Things happened with him which is really exciting, or it was. It still is. Yeah. But last weekend everything kinda halted and I’m worried now. The things happened the weekend before last and it got really intimate and I’m super fuckin hype about it but then last weekend I slept over again and he just seemed really standoffish and quiet. And I’m starting to worry that maybe he doesn’t like me like that. And maybe he’s just been letting me do things with him but he doesn’t really feel the same way towards me. And that is not a good thing, not a thing I want at all. If things are gonna happen, I want them to be from both sides, not just my side. I’ve been told I should wait to do more until his life calms down cuz he’s got a lot of stuff going on. But god it’s so hard to stay away from him. I’ve been told that I should try to treat him merely as a friend and see what happens but I honestly don’t know the difference anymore, like I don’t know how to treat him any differently - I pretty much treat him like a friend as it is, except for when we’re alone and at his house. I told someone that I’m trying to stay away from him and give him space for a few days and they said I should not do that but also that I do what I want. I really don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t think he does either which is okay but we should at least acknowledge that. I don’t know. What if he doesn’t like me? He knows I like him now. He knows so much about me. I see him every single day. I want to know how he feels. About me, about everything. I need closure.

[jooleiasthoughts]

So uh, um, update on my guy if that's what we're calling him. We have cuddled. Twice. And theeeeen last night we got through three bases. Three. Different. Bases. I'm over the goddamn moon and I am so fucking excited. And of course I want more. He knows how I feel, he knows a lot more about me now. But like, FINALLY this feeling is Going somewhere. I am really goddamn excited about this.

[jooleiasthoughts]

HE HUGGED ME

I'm freaking out and I'm falling so hard it's been half a year of me trying to get this to go somewhere and this week HE HUGGED meeeeeeeeee!! And it was on Valentine's Day which was so fucking cute. Also last night I got him to go to a party with me and then we texted till 3:30 in the morning and ugh I couldn't stop giggling and smiling and it was great. I'm just. What if? God, this could be so good.

[dontkillthejooleia]

I drew a thing. I drew it so that I wouldn’t forget exactly what I saw and how I remember it now, cuz god knows my memory will get fuzzy. If only I could draw faces, I could convey emotion so much better. I’d rather just not try tho so I don’t mess up the picture.

[dontkillthejooleia]

What if I changed my name from dontkillthejooleia to pleasekillthejooleia? I might.

[dontkillthejooleia]

Since it’s been a while since I’ve posted pictures or literally anything, here are some selfies.

[dontkillthejooleia]

For the last hour or so, I’ve been feeling the self hate, and taking tons of selfies and putting on makeup to try to make myself feel better, although I didn’t know why. I realized why a minute ago, my brain has me thinking that no one is talking to me because I’m not pretty enough, and if I want people to talk to me I should be prettier. It’s not me I’m trying to convince that I’m pretty, it’s everyone else. Which is why I’m not feeling any better about myself, because that’s stupid and no one is going to talk to me regardless of what I look like.

[dontkillthejooleia]

I’ve realized that i’m not over my depression like I thought I was. I spent two years on anti-depression and anxiety medication and in therapy, and when I broke up with my mentally detrimental boyfriend at the beginning of the year I thought i was getting better, healing. But I realize now that I just scarred, if that makes sense. I went off the meds too early, the depression and anxiety are coming back. All the therapy did was help me to deal with current problems, and to not act on the depression talk in my head, which i’ve learned to do, but I can still hear it. It didn’t just go away. But since I stopped taking my medication in april or may, I’ve lost the buildup of the effect of taking those meds, and they don’t work for me anymore. Not to mention i hate pills as it is, which is another reason i stopped taking them. But i think i need them, or something like them, again. Cuz it’s getting in the way of me living my life and being a successful adult. I’m trying so hard to be responsible and a good student, and every time I get tested on responsibility I face so much shit that I break down, have panic attacks, get lightheaded and dizzy, you name it. 

Today was one of those tests, I have a paper that’s due tomorrow at the beginning of class, and I devoted all day today to work on it, but my anxious ass decided to worry about it and put it off because that’s my coping method i guess. So now it’s 9 at night and I have a 4-7 page response due in 16 hours and at least 5 of those hours are devoted to sleeping. So i’m trying to work on the paper but i keep hearing depression telling me i’ve fucked up and i should’ve tried harder and that i’m worthless and lazy, and anxiety telling me you’ll never make it but oh my god maybe you could if you hurry, and time is running out so you better fucking do it right now – what are you doing not writing come on get it together you’re gonna fail your class if you don’t start writing right now! And it’s so hard to not listen to those voices because they get louder the more you start to believe them. 

[beachdeath]

hell? empty. all the devils? here.

[beachdeath]

omg this wasn’t a “dick? out” joke this was a shakespeare quote don’t be crass

[a-frog-in-a-bog]

Hell: empty Devils: here Dick: out

[bidilfs]

it’s what shakespeare would’ve wanted

[theonsdick]

honestly he probably would

[deanneedsyou]

After several years of on-and-off binge-reading deancas fics I feel like a post of some of my faves is in order! Most of these are popular, well-loved stories for good reason.

A million thank you’s to @destielfanfic​ - I would be figuratively lost without your lists, page and tag organization, and helpful summaries. And of course many hugs to all of you authors - who are getting paid lots of money to write these, right?

****Note that some of these stories have MCD, explicit ratings, and other important tags - you can find these by clicking the link to their ao3 page!****

Alternate Universe:

1-20k words:

Muscle Memory by komodobits

A Brief Glimpse by cloudyjenn

Fearson’s floating cigarette by orange_crushed

The Face of Heaven by orange_crushed

Please Turn on Your Magic Beam by @deancasheadcanons

A Thousand Words by K_K_TiBal

The Summer Holds A Song (We Might Sing Forever) by annundriel, Obstinatrix

For My Own by @puppycastiel

An Exploration of Habitat by @paperclothesline

That One Summer We Spent Inside by toraten

Butterbeer and Broomsticks by @puppycastiel

Your Name is Castiel by @unholyseraphs

In-flight Entertainment by Englandwouldfall

Detention by @bettydays

That One Week in French Polynesia… by @lastknownwriter

I Married A Witch by ashesinyourhair

20-80k words:

In the Weeds by Nanoochka

Bunker 41 by @mysuperouatfeels

I Don’t Want a Lot for Solstice by @bert-and-ernie-are-gay

House on Maple Lake by @supernaturallynoble

The Breath of All Things by KismetJeska

Asunder by rageprufrock

Castiel Novak Hates Pet Names by Englandwouldfall

On Air by @wincechesters

Bratishka: Little Brother by Valyria

The Last Moonlight Serenade by gankyourdarlings

Highwaymen. by orange_crushed

The Path of Fireflies by @museaway

Rvr Ro11435 by Ferritin4

If At First You Don’t Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) by @justkeeponwriting​

80k+ words:

Kind of a Forever Deal by komodobits

The Last Great Race by @wincechesters

Unintended by emwebb17

The Unwavering Heart of a Winchester by @violue

Not Part of the Plan (series) by @no-gorms (scaramouche)

The Ghosts of Blackthorn Hall by @linoresearch

Plus One by @ceeainthereforthat​

For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention by @thursdaysfallenangel

Addicted To You by @ltleflrt

Angelhawke by @almaasi

Canon Compliant and Canon Divergent:

1-20k words:

Broadway Musical by Griftings

Crawl by @bert-and-ernie-are-gay

The Wilderness by orange_crushed

Blessed Art Thou by @lielabell

Only If For A Night by mishcollin

20-80k words:

Smells Like Roses by @bomarlowe

Tripping by @goddamnitstacey

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things

Ghost Dance by omphalos

Anywhere But Here by @salesassociatesteve

the inexhaustible silence of houses by askance

We Are Such Stuff by @inevitablethief

Faith Healer by @punkascas

80k+ words:

Hunting For Faith by @riseofthefallenone​ (reverse!verse)

Redemption Road (series)

WIPs - AKA stories so good I broke my own rule and started them before they were complete:

A Priori by K_K_TiBal, @whelvenwings​

Down to Agincourt (series) by @seperis​

Ninety One Whiskey by komodobits

With Understanding by apokteino

Into The Fray by @highermagic

And some cockles  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Po Lazarus (Off the Reservation series) by emwebb17

Angel Slayer by emwebb17

The Sex Tape by @deancasheadcanons​

“Him” by emwebb17

I’ll be sure to add the ones I’ve definitely missed as I think of them but this should serve as a nice base for people to check out great stories and authors. :) Happy reading and recc’ing!

[unforth-ninawaters-deactivated2]

sevindeadlysins replied to your post “Everyone who comes to the Y knows my politics (I talk about it pretty…”

Link?

Rick Santorum Will Pry My Porn From My Cold Dead Hands by alreadypainfullygone. 

This fic being on AO3 and not FF.net is why I made an AO3 account. I had thought it was only on LJ. It’s my first favorite fic, the very first fic I bookmarked when I made the account. It’s an AU where Rick Santorum gets elected president and he bans pornography, so Dean decides to make some money by making illegal porn and somehow he ends up hiring…Cas…instead of say…a woman? And it’s got hot porn and a bit of a Big Gay Panic and a side of Sabriel and it makes me happy. :)

[brookelyn704-deactivated2024021]

[dontkillthejooleia]

“Julia, you’re gonna be a big sister!” Some days hurt more than others I guess