hello! i'm joongalez or alez. i'm here because i have a love for ateez and writing, and i have decided to combine these two things on this account. i write all sorts of genres, having a gravitational pull toward horror most of the time. my bias is wooyoung, although i love all the boys and will write about any one of them.
here you can find my masterlist for all my fics. some of them are (past) interactive stories, stories with multiple chapters, and short stories. thanks for stopping by! ( ´ ▽ ` )
content: seonghwa x hongjoong, angst
word count: 1.2k
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The sun filtered in through the glass window on the right, shining bright, golden light through the thin, white curtains. The golden light bounced off the long mirror in front of Hongjoong as he studied himself in the reflecting glass. He was wearing a black suit, fixing his black tie around his neck. It was far too sunny, he thought, for a day like today.
Once the tie was fitted correctly at his throat, Hongjoong smoothed down the suit jacket and let out a short breath.
"You look nice."
Seonghwa appeared behind Hongjoong in the mirror, taking a step toward Hongjoong. Seonghwa brought his hand up, running it along Hongjoong's back until he reached his shoulder.
"It took me forever to find this suit," Hongjoong said. "I haven't had to wear it in a long time. It was buried in the back of my closet."
Seonghwa pressed his face against Hongjoong's hair, closing his eyes, seeming to breathe in the scent of Hongjoong.
"I even had to iron the shirt," Hongjoong continued, "because it was all wrinkled in the back of the closet. You think it looks okay? You think people will think I look alright?"
Seonghwa opened his eyes to study Hongjoong's appearance in the mirror. He smiled softly, a sad smile, a smile that hid a thousand emotions. "You look lovely, my dear. Everyone would understand even if your shirt wasn't ironed. But it looks fine."
Hongjoong took a deep breath. "I don't want to go."
"I know you don't," Seonghwa responded softly, gently running his fingertips along Hongjoong's shoulder. "But you have to."
"I know I have to."
"Something's missing."
"The necklace," Hongjoong said. "I know. I wasn't sure if I should wear it."
"Of course you should."
Hongjoong reluctantly walked over to the small desk in front of the window, the sun warming the wood. He opened the black jewelry case, grabbing a silver necklace with a diamond-encrusted cross on the end of it. He brought it back over to the mirror, holding it up to his neck.
"You can place it under your shirt," Seonghwa suggested, gently taking the necklace from Hongjoong. He brought the chain around Hongjoong's neck and fastened it in the back. Hongjoong then grabbed the cross and tucked it under his white shirt, beneath the perfectly tied tie. "There."
Hongjoong touched the necklace through his shirt and tie, his eyes growing glossy, whispering, "I'm so sorry."
Seonghwa smiled lovingly at him, putting both hands on Hongjoong's shoulders, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "Don't you have to leave soon, dear?"
"Yes." Hongjoong nodded softly, looking up to stare at Seonghwa's face in the mirror. "Will you be here when I get back?"
Seonghwa's smile faltered for a ghost of a second, before it was back. He didn't answer Hongjoong's question. "Do you remember when I gave you that necklace?"
"Of course I do. It was my birthday and you had taken me out to that nice restaurant in town that we love. During dessert, you pulled that out, and I was worried you were proposing for a moment."
Hongjoong let out a small laugh. "When I opened it, I thought it was the most beautiful necklace I'd ever seen. I wore it every day." Almost every day. "I wanted to wear it every day."
"I don't want you to be late," Seonghwa said. "You should probably be there first, don't you think?"
Hongjoong sighed, then nodded slowly. "I guess so. I really don't want to go. Why do we have to have a wake and a funeral?"
Seonghwa brushed Hongjoong's hair back. "That's just how it is, dear. I know this is difficult for you, but think about how difficult it is for everyone else, too. You need to go."
"I wish you could come with me."
"I know."
Hongjoong watched in the mirror as he brought his hand up to rest on Seonghwa's, that was resting on his own shoulder. "The wake was terrible. Everyone was so quiet in there, sharing whispers that I constantly thought had to be about me. I couldn't help but wonder what they were thinking the entire time. And I cried. I cried so hard, the tears were streaming down my cheeks, making them so wet. I never thought I would feel this devastated about the whole thing."
"I know."
Hongjoong sighed, looking down at the uncomfortable shoes he was wearing, wishing he was wearing anything else. "I wish it had been easier. I wish things were different."
Seonghwa looked over at the window, at the golden light filtering in through the curtains. "I wish things were different too, my dear."
"I should go," Hongjoong said, turning to face Seonghwa. "I don't want to be late. I'll see you when I get back, okay?"
Seonghwa nodded, planting a soft kiss in the middle of Hongjoong's forehead.
The drive to the church took too long. Hongjoong was starting to sweat in his suit, wishing he could have been wearing something other than this. He arrived at the church a little late, and a few people were already there. He said his cordial hellos and people wished him well, saying they were so sorry for his loss.
Most of the people at the funeral were the same people at the wake, but Hongjoong wasn't thinking about that very much. He was trying to keep the curses off his tongue so no one could tell what he was thinking and what his emotions were.
There were already people crying when the service started, and it only got worse as the service moved toward its end.
"With grace," the pastor concluded. "He will go with grace."
They brought the coffin out to the cemetery, lowering it into the plot that was already dug.
Then Hongjoong didn't care anymore. He fell to his knees in front of everyone standing around him and the coffin. Before they covered it with dirt, he kneeled next to the plot and cried. The tears streamed down his face and regret filled his bones.
"God, I'm going to miss you," Hongjoong choked out between sobs. "I wish you hadn't gone. I wish you were still here. Please come back to me."
And when Hongjoong finally stood and turned his back to the coffin, facing the others all staring at him, he recognized someone standing beyond everyone else. He was still wearing that white shirt with the billowing sleeves, staring back at Hongjoong with a ghostly smile on his face.
Hongjoong moved through the crowd to reach Seonghwa.
"I'm so sorry," Hongjoong whispered, not loud enough for anyone else to hear.
Seonghwa kept the smile on his face, but shook his head slightly. "You don't get to be sorry, Hongjoong. You know that."
Hongjoong nodded. "I know. It's all my fault. I regret everything. I just want you back."
"But you don't get that," Seonghwa said softly. "You killed me, Hongjoong. And I can't haunt you forever."
Tears fell from Hongjoong's eyes.
"Killing me killed you," Seonghwa whispered. "I know it did. But you don't get to be sorry about that. It is done. You can never get me back."
Hongjoong fell to his knees again, clutching his chest. "Is this goodbye then?"
Seonghwa nodded.
"I love you," Hongjoong whispered. "I love you, Seonghwa."
"I loved you too, my dear." Seonghwa reached forward to press his hand against Hongjoong's cheek. Hongjoong closed his eyes and more tears fell onto his cheeks. When he opened his eyes, the only thing in front of him was a large oak tree, the leaves on its branches rustling in the wind. He could still feel the ghostly touch of Seonghwa's hand against his cheek.
With grace, Hongjoong repeated to himself. With grace.
------
This fic was inspired by Taylor Swift's "My Tears Ricochet"
hello! i wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone who participated in Insuetis! i had a lot of fun creating and releasing it and i'm glad we had some turnout!
i'm currently planning out a new interactive story and this one will take place over twitter. i'll keep you updated here when the twitter account has been created and things will start rolling.
thank you again for participating and i hope you had fun with the ateez boys in Insuetis. hope to see you again soon for the new one!
Yunho sits down in front of Mingi. Mingi sits at the metal table with his hands cuffed to the table, a dark look in his eyes.
“Sorry it’s taken a bit,” Yunho says casually. “I needed to sort some things out before I came in and questioned you. Now I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer honestly. Are you part of the cult?”
“Do you really think it was me?” Mingi asks. “You really think that I, your partner, could be involved in these killings? It wasn’t me, Yunho. Please. You have to believe me.”
Yunho keeps his eyes steady on Mingi’s. “In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never once lied this badly.”
Mingi’s face breaks into a smile. “You’re right. What’s the point in lying now, right? You caught me, Yunho. You arrested the right person. I was running the cult, just as my family has done for years. We were so close to completing our ritual sacrifices so that I could become an angel to be worshipped by all the people, but you’ve ruined it. You’ve fucked it all up.”
“I’m truly sorry to see my coworker, my friend, the one behind all these senseless killings,” Yunho says. “I’m sorry that you are evil, Mingi. I’m sorry you were raised to be evil. This does not excuse your actions, though, and I have faith you will be locked away for the rest of your life.”
Mingi watches Yunho as he stands and moves toward the door. “So long, Mingi.”
Yunho leaves after that, devastated to learn someone he considered a friend was behind the killings, but grateful he trusted his intuition and chose the right person.
He found a thread online about deciphering codes and was at it for hours before he finally found something like a coherent alphabet and applied it to the notes, getting a result that made sense.
in the woods, east of the west malus river, northern border
deep in the cave where your desires lie
Yunho is now in the woods, past the East Malus river, heading toward the northern border of the woods, near the West Malus river.
He should have figured it out before. Why were all the bodies showing up in the East Malus river? Probably because someone was doing the killings north of the rivers and sending them down south.
Yunho steps over some fallen branches, breaking through the thick trees to see a hill going upward, a cave in the base of the hill. That must be it. That must be where the cult is hiding.
Yunho makes his way over to the cave and turns his flashlight on and he steps inside. He finds it dug out into a hallway, leading to two separate rooms. One on the left, and one on the right. He can hear shuffling down the room on the right, so he goes that way, pulling his gun out and aiming with the flashlight.
Inside, the room grows larger into a space bigger than Yunho would have thought possible in this cave. There are torches lining the walls so Yunho is able to see better. This allows him to see Yeosang’s dead body lying on the floor and five people standing above his dead body.
Jongho, Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Mingi, and San.
Yunho notices San is holding a knife. “Drop the weapon! Kick it over to me!”
San does exactly that, dropping the knife and sliding it over to Yunho. Yunho stops it with his foot and looks up at the men standing over Yeosang’s body. His body appears to have been stabbed, blood seeping onto the cave ground.
“Everyone, hands up!” Yunho orders, and they all do as he says. He looks around at each person, studying each one carefully. He has no idea who could have done this.
His first instinct is that it had to have been anyone but Mingi, but he’s not so sure, with Mingi standing there by the body, blood on his shoes, seemingly no gun or badge on his person. Then Yunho thinks maybe it was Seonghwa, the new guy in town that probably has secrets to hide. Or maybe it was Jongho this entire time, faking all the news posts. Maybe it was San, faking the radio show, bringing on a conspiracy theorist who was right just for laughs. He was holding the knife. Or maybe it was Wooyoung, who went a little too far this time and committed a crime so great, even his parents couldn’t save him from the consequences.
Yunho knows he’s going to have to make an arrest right now. He doesn’t have the manpower to bring them all into the station. He needs to get this right.
“Tell me what happened,” Yunho demands.
Jongho speaks first. “I came in and saw San holding the knife. He was standing over Yeosang’s body with the knife. He killed Yeosang.”
“I took the knife from Wooyoung,” San says. “He was holding it when I came in here, and there was blood all over it. He was just staring at it and I didn’t know what he was going to do, so I took it from him.”
“No, it wasn’t me,” Wooyoung says. “I loved Yeosang. He was my greatest friend. I would never hurt him. It has to be Seonghwa. All this started as soon as he moved in. He killed Yeosang and then ran off so it wouldn’t look like he did it.”
“It’s Mingi,” Seonghwa says. “Mingi has a very prominent family here. And the reason no one has ever found anything is because they’ve always been part of the police force and have influenced things.”
“Jongho admitted guilt to me,” Mingi blurts. “Come on, Yunho. It’s me. I was here because I got a lead. I cornered Jongho and he told me it was him who was doing the killings. And his family has been around for years. They have to be part of it too.”
“Wait, who was in here first?” Yunho asks. “I need to know what happened before the body was found.”
“Jongho and I came in here,” Seonghwa explains. “We went over into the room on the left and found Mingi in there. I know it’s because he is part of the cult.”
“Then I went in after them,” San says. “After the conspiracy theorist told me about a possible cave in the woods, I had to come see for myself. I saw the three of them in that room, arguing with each other. That’s when I heard shuffling in the other room and ran in to see Wooyoung standing over Yeosang with the knife.”
“I have a tracker on Yeosang’s phone,” Wooyoung admits. “I saw he wasn’t at the gas station and panicked, so I followed him here. I came into this room and saw him lying on the floor in a pool of blood. I picked up the knife because I was going to use it on myself. I couldn’t imagine living without Yeosang.”
Yunho is trying to piece the timeline together in his brain, trying to determine who of these five is telling the truth and who is lying. Are any of them telling the truth? Are they all lying?
Yunho is leaving here with someone in handcuffs. And he needs to decide now who that is.
The small bell on the gas station door chimes and Yeosang looks up to see Seonghwa and Jongho rushing into the gas station.
“Hey, welcome in,” Yeosang calls.
Seonghwa and Jongho head toward the back of the store, speaking quietly to each other. Yeosang can still hear them, though.
“We’ll need a few if we’re going deep into the woods,” Seonghwa says to Jongho.
“Yes,” Jongho agrees. “I hope we find something out there. We need to be prepared for if we do, though.”
“We will be.” Seonghwa pauses. “Let me buy these real quick. I’ll meet you outside.”
Seonghwa walks up to the front and hands Yeosang a couple flashlights.
“Hey, are you doing okay?” Yeosang asks as he rings up the flashlights.
“Fine,” Seonghwa answers. He has his phone out, pulling up something that looks like a blog. Yeosang watches as he types one sentence into the blog post and hits send: Everything ends tonight.
“Will this be all?” Yeosang asks.
Seonghwa puts his phone away. “Yeah.” He pays for the flashlights and thanks Yeosang before heading outside, meeting up with Jongho.
Yeosang makes a split second decision, turning off the lights in the gas station and locking the doors behind him as he begins to follow Seonghwa and Jongho.
Seonghwa: I think I might be onto something if you’re willing to listen.
Jongho: What is it?
Seonghwa: All these killings… the bodies have been found in the East Malus river, right? And the police keep searching around the East Malus river, but nothing has been found yet. Maybe it’s because they aren’t going far enough. Maybe they need to be going PAST the river.
Jongho: I’m listening.
Seonghwa: It seems like no one has gone past the river yet, deeper into the woods. I’ve been hearing all kinds of theories but there’s something about the bodies showing up in similar places that makes me think whoever is doing this is doing it up past the river.
Jongho: So what do you want to do about it?
Seonghwa: I want to go searching. I need to go past the river and see if I can find anything. I need to help bring this killer to justice. For Hongjoong.
Jongho: I’ll come with you then. We should meet somewhere.
Seonghwa: Let’s meet at the gas station. I’m going to get some flashlights.
Good evening Insuetis Community Radio listeners, it is your beloved host Choi San, and I’m here to tell you anything and everything about our little town of Insuetis.
Unfortunately, I have to bring you terrible news that another body was found in the East Malus river today, drained of blood. Police are said to be working hard on the case and want to remind everyone to obey curfew and stay safe during these unprecedented times.
Now, I wanted to talk to someone who has a very specific theory about why this may be happening and who is behind these terrible killings. They are known as a professional conspiracy theorist and wish to remain anonymous and will be going by Z. Z, say hello.
Z: Hello. My name is Z and I’m a professional conspiracy theorist.
Hello, Z. You have some things you’d wish to discuss, yes?
Z: Yes. I know a cult is doing these killings and that they reside in the woods. I know this because this same exact thing happened 75 years ago.
Can you please elaborate on that?
Z: 75 years ago, people were being killed and drained of their blood. Police suspected it was a serial killer, but nothing was ever found out or done about it. Personally, I think the police are wrong. I believe there is a cult that lives deep inside the woods of Insuetis and they are sacrificing people by draining their blood for some religious reason. And I think the police never figured it out 75 years ago because they are in some sort of agreement with the cult, or they themselves are part of the cult.
Did you have any theories on who was in this cult?
Z: Yes. I believe it was someone with a prominent family in Insuetis. I know we have a few of those here, but it has to be one of them. They were running the cult and running the streets of Insuetis, pretending to keep everyone safe when in reality, they were sacrificing people for their cult.
And do you have any idea where the exact location of this cult could be?
Mingi: I know you’re not working today, but I had to show you this. We found another body and there was a note near it. Think you could try deciphering it?
Yunho: I’ll do my best. Not sure I’ll have much luck.
Mingi: Maybe luck is on your side today. Please try?
Yunho: Of course.
Mingi: How are you doing today?
Yunho: I’m okay. Just… trying to wrap my head around everything.
Mingi: I understand. I’m sorry.
Yunho: I’ll be alright. I’m going to have to be. I don’t want anyone else to die. I can’t let anyone else die while trying to solve this. I’m going to figure it out. Thanks for sending me the picture.
Mingi: Are you sure you’ll be okay?
Yunho: I promise. I’m doing my best. I’ll try to figure out this note, okay?
Mingi sits at his desk, staring at the computer screen in front of him. There are articles, pictures, and interviews displayed on the screen, all about the missing people and bodies found drained of blood. All this information, and yet Mingi still has no idea who is doing this and why.
He leans back in his chair, sighing. He glances across his desk over at Yunho’s, but Yunho’s chair is empty. Yunho didn’t come into work today. Mingi wishes he could do something to help, but knows Yunho just needs some time after losing his friend. Hopefully Yunho will be okay.
Mingi looks back at his computer screen, staring at the pictures of the bodies. Who would do something like this? And why? He’s always thought that it had to be the work of a serial killer in the making. Yunho does think it could be a cult, though, which Mingi won’t dismiss. They really have no idea what they’re dealing with.
“Mingi, you got a minute?”
Mingi looks up to see the police chief standing at his desk.
“Sure, what it is?” Mingi asks.
“They found another body,” the police chief states. “More west of the last body that was found, but still in the river. Witness is saying it looks drained of blood. We need to get up there, and now.”
It doesn’t take them long to reach the area where the body is. Police have already taped off the area and have begun looking around at everything, taking note of every miniscule detail. Mingi makes his way over to the body, confirming for himself that it seems drained of blood. They’ll have to wait for the autopsy report to be sure, but he can clearly see the stab wounds as well.
“Just like the others,” Mingi mutters.
“Except for that one,” the police chief says.
“Yeah, but I think that was because someone got there before they could finish the job,” Mingi replies. “Or maybe there was some kind of struggle. I don’t think we should use that to rule anything out.”
The police chief sighs, turning to Mingi. “We need to figure out what’s going on, and fast, before anyone else is hurt.”
“Sir, we found something.”
Mingi and the police chief turn their heads toward an officer holding a piece of paper with gloved hands. Mingi puts his gloves on and grabs the piece of paper, seeing that it looks to be a note with symbols written on it.
“Symbols,” Mingi says.
The police chief nods. “Bag it for evidence. We can have some teams working on trying to translate it, see if that will give us any clue as to who is doing this.”
The officer takes the note back, placing it in a small plastic bag, but not before Mingi snaps a quick picture of it.
The police chief puts his hand on Mingi’s shoulder. “I know you can figure this out. I believe in you. They’re all counting on you, believing in you. We need to figure this out before anyone else ends up dead.”
Hi everyone. I know I said I might not post much for a while, but I just need to get some things off my chest. This town is not what I thought it would be. What I thought it would be is a fresh start and a chance to move on from everything that happened before. But what it’s turned out to be is one tragedy after another, following me around like some stupid curse.
And it’s not just that I lost a friend. I wasn’t able to sleep so I went for some coffee and got attacked. I was really shaken up about it, but now that I’ve had time to think about it, it’s got me feeling terrified. Did I encounter the person who is doing these killings? Could I have been killed if it weren’t for someone else being there? How much danger am I in now?
I know people will say that all I do is run from my problems, but that’s really all I know how to do. I don’t know if I can stop running from them. What will happen if everything catches up to me? It feels like that’s happening now. But maybe I shouldn’t run anymore. Maybe I should take a stand and stop running from everything bad that happens to me. Maybe things could be different.
I don’t know. These are just some thoughts. As always, please be thinking of me. I may need it.
“Okay, you can come with,” Yeosang agrees. “I think it came from the back of the gas station, so let’s go out through the front and go around.”
Yeosang and Seonghwa step outside and make their way around to the back of the building, near the garbage bins. Yeosang’s heart is beating hard inside his chest as he sees a garbage bag move slightly and a figure begins to emerge from behind the garbage bin.
Yeosang is about to scream before he realizes who it is. “Wooyoung?”
Wooyoung steps out of the shadows. He’s wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his head, looking eerie in the darkness.
“What are you doing?” Yeosang asks.
Wooyoung stares at Yeosang before glancing at Seonghwa and looking back at Yeosang. “I was coming to visit you.”
“Why are you back here by the garbage bins?” Yeosang shakes his head. “You could have just come inside, Wooyoung.”
“What is he doing here?” Wooyoung glares toward Seonghwa.
“He was just in the store,” Yeosang explains. “We both heard you out here and came out to check.”
Wooyoung steps forward. “Why are you hanging out with him? He could be dangerous.”
“He’s not dangerous,” Yeosang says. “It’s okay.”
“I’m not dangerous,” Seonghwa agrees. “I came here to make sure he would be okay.”
“Yeosang doesn’t need your protection.”
“What if it had been something besides you?” Yeosang asks. “Wouldn’t you have wanted me to come out here with someone else?”
Wooyoung takes another step forward, continuing to glare. “I don’t like you. I don’t like you one bit.”
Seonghwa’s eyes widen. “What?”
“Wooyoung, please, it’s okay,” Yeosang pleads. “He’s just a customer. A concerned customer.”
Before anyone can say anything else, Wooyoung lunges at Seonghwa. They topple over onto the ground, Wooyoung on top of Seonghwa. Wooyoung is grabbing Seonghwa’s collar and bringing his fist up in the air, readying himself to bring his fist down onto Seonghwa.
“Stop!” Yeosang jumps over to Wooyoung, grabbing his fist and pulling him off Seonghwa. “Stop, Wooyoung! Stop this!”
Seonghwa scrambles to his feet and backs away.
Yeosang holds Wooyoung back, forcing Wooyoung to look him in the eye. “Wooyoung, calm down. What is going on? Why did you attack Seonghwa?”
Wooyoung says nothing, glaring in Seonghwa’s direction.
Seonghwa gives one nod before turning to walk away.
Yeosang looks back at Wooyoung, letting go of his shoulders. “What is wrong with you? Why would you attack him like that?”
“I don’t trust him.”
“Nothing was going to happen, Wooyoung.” Yeosang sighs. “He was fine. Everything was fine. He just wanted to make sure I was okay.”
“I’m supposed to make sure you’re okay,” Wooyoung says. “I’m the one who is supposed to protect you. I’m supposed to be there for you. I’m supposed to be hanging out with you. Not anyone else.”
Yeosang feels his heart sink. “I know, Wooyoung, but it’s okay. I’m okay. You don’t have to be there for me all the time. I can have other friends.”
An angry look flashes across Wooyoung’s face. Yeosang backtracks. “You’re my best friend, Wooyoung. My greatest friend. I know you’ll always be there for me, but you don’t have to be, not all the time. I’m okay. I can take care of myself.”
Yeosang reaches out toward Wooyoung, but Wooyoung shrugs him off. “Fine. If you can take care of yourself, I’ll just go home.”
“Wooyoung, wait, can’t we talk about this?”
It’s no use, though. Wooyoung is already walking off, leaving Yeosang alone in the dark.
