:3

I miss my wife

[contemptible-scoundrel]

doing a magical girl transformation sequence and by the time its finished the only noticeable difference is a visible bulge from a handgun tucked into the waistband of my sweatpants

[fancynecr0mancy]

Ohh my goddd shut uppp just let me put my fingers in your mouth and ride you

[lilythelycan]

Reblog if you'd sign away your rights to be a condom for a girl's cock ^×^

[wrenrising22]

[threedollarsdotcom]

building a brand new lab for study of lezzing out

[bipolarfujoshi]

[darkveracity]

Presenting, the Complete Locked Tomb Timeline

Because I am a horrible nerd, I’ve compiled a complete timeline of every known event in the locked tomb trilogy so far. This is roughly divided into three parts:

Ancient History - this section is mostly based on the scraps of history we hear from the lyctors in HtN. The events are inferred from pieces or occasionally reconstructed by process of elimination.

Tragic Backstories - this section is based on what we learn about the backstories of the present day characters. The Cohort intelligence files in the GtN appendix were invaluable for getting the dates here.

Present Day - this section is a recounting of the events of the books put back in order and carefully placed on a timeline.

Please note that this contains SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING including bonus content like The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex.

The timeline itself is below the cut because otherwise this post would eat people’s dashes for breakfast.

Keep reading

[threedollarsdotcom]

Don't send me an email at 7 am

[jorts-truther]

The only positive thing about my ADHD is that clicker training was pre installed for me.

[gazeldhazel]

they must be soooo glad they didnt give me a pussy. i would literally have the most insane hips and waist and legs cause i would spend half the day bouncing on like. 10 different sex toys. i would be fucking unstoppable

[terraswallows]

Okay seriously question, who of you went through "the boy who avoids photo's because he hates how he looks" to the "I’m a hot girl" pipeline?

[traumadumpling]

✨ Reblog this to make an ice agent shit themselves uncontrollably ✨

[nonas-third-tantrum]

is rewatching riverdale a cry for help. asking for. a friend

[buttsniffingdyke]

i really want a pussy but i really do love being a woman with a penis

[airiishorny]

Tgirls and scent kink, name a better duo

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[freakisky]

don't call me puppy if you aren't gonna fuck me like a bitch in heat