hi hi!! could u do a little! Johanna fic :3 i just read your most recent fic and was wondering if u could expand more since you mentioned she regresses ^_^
I Thought I Saw Your Face Today
When Annie comes back from her morning walk, she finds Johanna in a terrible state.
Word count: 1,787
Characters: Johanna, Annie, Finnick (Mentioned)
TW for: Mentions of torture, self doubt, helplessness, panic attacks and diapers.
Sorry this took so long, I was tired. This is what I consider to be Johanna's origin regression story when she really starts to pinpoint what it is. (Besides her and Katniss in the hospital but that's a story for another day).
This fic takes place before "Just the two of us" kind of like a prequel fic.
I think this fic really encases the relationship that Annie nnie and Johanna build after mockingjay.
Not proofread yet, give me a bit.
As always NOT A KINK IF YOU FIND THIS SORT OF STUFF KINKY GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND MY FICS
Curled up into a ball in the corner of her couch, pulling at her hair while crying is the state that Annie found Johanna in this morning.
Every morning, Annie leaves her house in district four at about eight in the morning. She goes to one of the beaches that surround the district and she walks. She's done this since she won her games at eighteen. Annie is currently twenty five. She has done this little morning routine for six years straight, never missing a day, whether raining, snowing or storming.
After the war, Johanna moved in with Annie. The two of them didn't do well in solitude so the two made the consecutive decision to have Johanna move into Annie's house in district four. It's mostly quiet in the house, with occasional conversation and breakdowns. It's awkward but nice.
Johanna has never considered herself to be reliant on Annie. To her, Annie was just another person in her living space. Did they support each other? Sure. But Johanna is just fine doing things for herself by herself.
Today she woke up feeling….different. When she got out of bed this morning, she went to Annie's room to greet her, just to find her bed empty. Johanna sunk when she remembered that Annie was on her walk.
The girl walked down the spiral staircase, into the front living room. Johanna sits on the couch and looks out the window. There's no telling how long it will be until Annie comes back. It could be five minutes, it could be an hour. Annie uses these walks to help center herself so the time she's gone varies per day, depending on what she's feeling.
Waiting for Annie makes Johanna feel helpless. And if there's one thing Johanna hates, it's feeling helpless. One of the Capitol's main forms of torture was to make her feel helpless. So every time she feels helpless it reminds her of the many people that would torture her and tell her that she's worthless and there's nothing she can do about it. And it triggers something deeper in her.
Ever since her torture in the Capitol, there has been something different with Johanna. She finds herself to have a much shorter fuse when upset. Before the seventy fifth hunger games, when Johanna would get mad, she would swear and kick things and yell. She'd get aggressive when she was mad. But now when she gets mad, she's overcome with feelings of helplessness and anger. It still causes her to lash out, however now when she gets mad, she cries.
She feels small and helpless when she gets upset. So instead of swearing, kicking and yelling, she cries. And if there's another thing Johanna hates it's crying. It makes her feel weak and helpless, which in turn makes her cry even more.
Johanna doesn't know how to explain how she feels, she just knows that she feels sad more than she used to and that simple things like blankets and children's books tend to help her. She's never shared this with anyone besides Katniss, while they were in the hospital together. She knew that Katniss wouldn't judge, and to her surprise, she even expressed feeling similar to Johanna.
As the minutes pass, Johanna feels more and more helpless. She begins to feel that small way that she hates. She feels tears well up in her eyes. The girl scoots over to the corner of the couch in an attempt to shelter herself from her own mind as it betrays her.
All that Johanna wants is for Annie to come back. As more time passes, Johanna's condition only gets worse. She curls up into a ball and begins to pull her hair as thoughts of “She's never gonna come back” race through her head.
She rocks back and forth as all of her thoughts whirl about inside her head.
Just then, the front door quietly opens as Annie returns to the house.
Annie has to do a double take when she walks into the house. As soon as it registers, she rushes over to the couch to comfort the girl.
She recognizes the behavior immediately; age regression. Finnick used to do it all the time. Whenever he was upset or had a flashback he would often mentally revert to a childlike state. Whether it was some sort of coping mechanism or side effect of PTSD, she didn't know. But she did know how tremendously it helped him.
Annie also finds herself regressing from time to time. It's not often and she has no idea what causes it but she's always happier when she's regressed. She sees it as a desire to go back to simpler times. And if Johanna's doing what Annie thinks she's doing, then Annie completely understands her.
“Johanna, sweet girl, what's wrong?” Annie sits on the couch, leaving space between them in an attempt to give Johanna space yet still let her know that she's there for her.
Hearing the sound of Annie's voice, Johanna looks up at Annie and melts right into her arms.
The two sit in silence for a bit while Johanna calms down.
–
“What happened baby?” Annie asks, breaking the silence.
“Missed you” Johanna sniffles.
“Oh oh oh, I see” Annie bounces the girl in her lap. “Well I'm here now and everything's going to be okay”
Johanna grasps the top of Annie's white dress in her fists.
“It's okay baby, I'm right here” Annie wipes the tears from Johanna's cheeks.
Another patch of silence that's only interrupted by the occasional sniffle passes.
–
“Jo, can I ask you a question” Annie asks.
“Mmm-hm” Johanna nods.
“Do you feel small right now?” Annie places a stray piece of Johanna's hair behind her ear.
Johanna pauses for a moment before giving Annie a look of astonishment and confusion. “How did you know?”
“I have my ways” she chitters back. “How old are we thinking?”
Johanna thinks for a second before holding up two fingers.
She nods in response. Two is around the age that Annie regresses to, so she can probably lend the girl some of her things until she has time to go out and buy Johanna her own.
Annie picks up the girl and carefully brings her upstairs in her arms. Once she reaches her room, Annie puts Johanna down on the bed.
“I'll just be a minute, don't worry” Annie goes over to her closet and rummages through boxes until she finds what she's looking for; a white cardboard box with “Annie's Things”. It's where she keeps all her regression stuff. She dusts off the box and places it on her bed.
Johanna curiously hovers over the box while Annie takes off the lid. Inside sit multiple onesies, sippy cups, pacifiers and diapers.
Annie takes them out one by one for Johanna to inspect.
After a bit of thought, she settles on a light blue onesie with tan and pink seashells. She picks a dark blue sippy cup with dolphins and whales as well as a pacifier with a shark.
“I like this one” Johanna points to a white diaper with little grey penguins.
Annie puts everything that the girl didn't choose back into the box. “Is that everything?”
She shakes her head. The girl gets up and goes to her room. Once in her room, Johanna opens the bottom drawer of her night stand and pulls out a dark brown cat plush.
Johanna brought the stuffed animal with her when she moved from district seven. It was something that she was deeply ashamed of having, however she liked to have it for times like this when she felt smaller.
When Johanna comes back to Annie's room, she's just finished putting the box away. “Do you want to get changed?”
Johanna nods, her kitty still held tightly in her clutch.
Annie takes off Johanna's pajamas, folding them neatly in a pile before putting on the onesie. She unsnaps the buttons at the bottom and removes Johanna's underwear before replacing it with a diaper. “All better?” Annie asks, resnapping the buttons.
“All better” Johanna confirms.
“Do you want a snack?” Annie asks the girl.
“Mmm-hm” she nods.
She takes the sippy cup and picks up the girl, popping the shark pacifier into her mouth. Ever so carefully she returns downstairs. She brings Johanna into the kitchen and sits her down on the countertop.
“Crackers?” Johanna asks.
“Sure thing sweetpea” Annie takes a bag of fish shaped crackers out of the cupboard and pours them into a little plastic bowl. She hands the bowl to Johanna who takes it carefully.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Apple juice”
Annie unscrews the lid of the sippy cup and pours apple juice into it. She places it on the counter next to Johanna who is contently eating her crackers.
It was a strange sight to see; Johanna happily eating. Annie cannot remember the last time that she saw the girl willingly eat something, and enjoy it at that!
“Fank yew” Johanna mumbles, her mouth full of crackers.
“Of course”
Annie begins to wash the dishes while
Johanna finishes the remainder of her snack.
“Mama?” Johanna starts.
A bit confused by the new name, Annie turns around. “What is it sunshine?”
“Can we go sit ouside?”
Annie wipes her hands on the kitchen towel. “Sure thing babygirl” Annie picks up Johanna who has a sippy cup and cat stuffie in her hands and brings her out to the porch.
She sits down on the porch swing, positioning Johanna on her lap.
A beautiful sunset of orange, yellow and blue looks out at them over the sea.
Looking at the sunset causes Annie to think about all the losses that have happened in her life. All of those losses and she's still found a way to be happy. Life finds a way. It's strange.
The two sit on the swing for a while, taking in the peacefulness of the moment.
–
“Mama”
“Yes Jo?”
“Is it okay to feel small?”
Annie pauses, Johanna truly did a good job of hiding her true feelings. She always seemed so confident. Like she never cared what anyone thought about her. But seeing her in this vulnerable state made Annie realize that she truly did feel self conscious.
“Of course it's okay” She reassures, running her hand on the girl's head. “Can you be sure to tell me when you start to feel small? That way I can be sure to stay with you so I don’t feel sad”.
“I will Mama” Johanna promises.
“I love you so much Joey” Annie plants a kiss on Johanna's head.
🩵: Finnick is VERY energetic! Anyways running around, getting into stuff he's not supposed to, etc.
🩵: Finnick loves doing tricks and always has to make sure people see how awesome his are. Annie very frequently has to deal with Finnick yelling "Annie! Annie! Watch this! Watch me!"
🩵: Annie has a bunch of plastic medals and trophies to give Finnick after he does something super cool (which according to Finnick, is everything)
🩵: Loves playing in the water!! Bath time is his favorite time of the day since he gets to slash around all he want. If it wasn't for Annie, he'd sit in the tub until he turned into a prun
🩵: Is very simple with all his stuffies names, all of them are named "Fish" (Haymitch appreciates this simplicity)
🩵: Is very amused when people can pick him up. He will clinge on to them for dear life
🩵: Very commonly throws tantrums but will randomly become self-aware mid way through
Someone requested Cg Cinna headcanons but it wouldn’t let me reply! here they are anyway tho <3
1. He designs custom/personalize onesies and other clothing for his little! if you have any sensory issues or specific styles he keeps that in mind. he wants to make it so that your the most comfortable wearing it!
2. he also makes little clothes and accessories for your stuffies and dolls etc < 3 what plushie can resist a diamond collar!?
3. Very down to earth and easy to
communicate with. he's very good with littles who get overstimulated easily since he's just a naturally relaxed and pragmatic guy.
4. While he isn't strict he is big on basic manners! making sure you are kind to others, clean after yourself and use words like "please" and "thank you" are things he looks out for. He doesn't like disrespect towards anyone.
5. He loves playing salon with his little one^. doing your hair or painting your nails he loves prettying ya up!
Also some bonus cg Haymitch!
1. Weirdly the best at storytelling. He can come up with the most intricate world building and phenomenal storylines off the top of his head. Maybe it’s the trauma, maybe it’s the alcohol induced dreams, who knows!
2. despite coming off as gruff and uncaring he does care deeply for his little darling. His voice can drop to a low soothing tone and he gives the best hugs; not to loose not to tight just right!
3. He’s pretty protective, while not physically or sometimes full on outwardly he is always advocating for you and will stand his ground to defend you! he hates seeing his little one hurt</3
could you do little finnick headcanons he is very babie to me
HEHE YES!!
1. The big brother ever! he’s especially good with more rowdy littles like Johanna. He tends to be able to adjust his energy to match with whoever he’s around.
2. He’s lowkey a sore loser(me and my friends were talking abt this one actually!) his little career brain just can’t handle losing! he was born to win and be good at everything in his mind.
3. He loves bathes and he WILL make a fuss everytime he has to get out. He likes pretending he’s a shark or some weird ocean cryptid that sinks ships.
4. Annie is more likely than not his caregiver. she’s just so mother! she loves her baby boy sm <3 Whenever something isn’t going his way he goes and cries to her.
5. While he’s usually pretty positive and stuff when regressed some days it’s just not feelings and flashbacks :(. Hs doesn’t do well those days at all and it usually ends up with him hunched over the toilet hurling and annie combing her fingers through his hair. He always gets the best cuddles after tho <\3
- finnick who started regressing after winning his games at only fourteen (TᴖT)
- He’s not a very young regressor though! usually staying between the ages of 5-12, sometimes he might drop slightly lower but that does not happen very often.
- his regression is very much a trauma response and often involuntary. one of his biggest triggers are nightmares, he loathes them.
- he’s also more prone to nightmares when regressed, a regressed finnick takes so long to settle down for bed.
- finnick adoooressssssssssssss being outside when he’s little, no matter the weather. oh…. it’s raining? that’s too bad. he will be found outside either way!
- he’s a very verbal regressor, he loves da ocean, all of its different animals and rambling on && on about them! he’ll give you twenty million ocean fun facts in under five minutes :3
- though he rambles a lot and is very excited to do so, some of his sentences don’t make much sense because finnick’s mind is so fuzzy when regressed
- he has a shark plushie he adores, it’s old and raggedy but it reminds him of home. he finds it to precious to carry around, so it’s usually in his bed, if he’s real sleepy he’ll he found curled up with it in bed .
- finnick loves more “old fashioned” games like tic tac toe, dominoes, cats cradle and flashlight tag, he thinks they’re easier to understand and appreciates their more mobile nature.
- he likes to make sheshell necklaces, he won’t often wear them but he does find them neat to make :3
- he loves to play flashlight tag with katniss, but it usually just ends up turning into a game where they chase each other around with a flashlight whilst giggling
- a little!finnick is very very hyper and as ive mentioned earlier extremely talkative ! he hates it all! standing still, sitting still, being quiet or silent.
🪞 : Her favorite toys are the hairstyling/makeup heads. She'd take sm time to make sure they're all perfect
🪞 : Definitely has a decked out play vanity
🪞 : All of her toys have first, middle and last names any playmate or carer of hers must remember
🪞 : Gloss spoils her rotten!! Anything his sister wants she gets
🪞 : Tea parties everyday!!
🪞 : Speaking of tea parties, Peeta and his mama, Effie, often join Cashmere, Gloss and Cashmere extensive stuffie collection for tea parties
🪞 : She's very particular about the colors of her clothes, toys, etc. She likes everything to be in a light baby blue and snow white
🪞 : Despite her not needing to, Cashmere ALWAYS cleans up after herself!! She may be tiny but she likes it to be tidy
🪞 : On a related note- she hates playing outdoors!! It's so messy and you get sweaty or cold- she much prefers staying inside and playing with her dolls or coloring
🪞 : Loves coloring!! She's very careful to stay inside the lines and pick the perfect colors
🪞 : Loves princess movies!! Cinderella is her favorite
🪞 : Her favorite animals are cats!! She has so many cat stuffies!!
🪞 : Her outfits are always carefully picked out!! Her and Gloss often spend an hour getting her ready as she needs it to be perfect
🪞 : Gloss definitely learn how to style hair for Cashmere!! He definitely used a few of Cashmere's styling heads to practice- She definitely always has the cutest styles in!!
🪞 : Does not like when her food touches but doesn't like the plates with separate compartment
🪞 : A very talkative and sassy baby. If she doesn't like something- you'll know
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