* HALF HOPE

𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝙻𝚂  𝙰𝙻𝙻  𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃    [  𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔴𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔶   ]

[joyeus]

i’ve been pretty severe with myself in terms of time restraints and what i have the time to do but, this is a fun hobby and i do like being here!! but since multi’s are A Lot, i’m hopping back over to my single-muse lucy blog  ( @bloofer ) . i’ll be reblogging the promo soon <3

when i feel up to more than one muse again, back over here i shall go !!

[blooferarch]

𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙼𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃  𝙱𝙴  𝙰  𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝚁     //     indie lucy westenra of dracula. by annie. formerly stlucy.

[joyeus]

* ❬❬   ◝  .   palevein​    /    𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔫   .

THERE’S AN ACHE IN HIS JOINTS,   a pinprick lodged right between his muscles and several knots in his lower back. in the beginning he thought it a mere ache,  something familiar in the way all pain feels when it resides in the flesh alone,  but this ache is different.  not new,  not fresh,  simply  —  different.  no dreams clouded his eyes yet he rubs them away just as he did before.  

her voice doesn’t register where she chirps out a delicately laid out song  (  he wondered if she prepared those words long before he woke,  practised them,  tried to find the right ones but that can’t be  ;  she always said the right thing  ).   astarion searches relentlessly,  searches for the own words hidden inside his own throat,  tries to dig them out but he only finds rose petals.  rose petals and unsteadiness. 

❝   no  …  no dreams this time.  ❞   he rasps,  evident sleep still tugging at his chords.  eyes begin to wander,  and wander,  until they fall to her then to him then to their surroundings,  and a deep panic lands inside his stomach like a pitched stone.   ❝   we  — oh gods,  don’t tell me we  —   ❞   

𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁  𝙸𝙽  𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴  𝙸𝚂  𝙰  𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙵  ,   lucy’s  hand  at  his  chin  falls  away  as  the  panic  sets  in  and  relocates  to  astarion’s  shoulder  .   she  tuts  ,   then  shakes  her  head  ,   choosing  honesty  from  the  first  because  he  deserves  it  .

“    𝔫𝔬  ,   𝔫𝔬  ,   𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢  𝔴𝔞𝔰  𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔢  𝔬𝔣  𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱  ,    ”    choosing  not  to  disclose  that  she  made  sure  of  it  .   the  poor  darling  looks  scared  to  death  ,   she  nudges  the  tray  closer  to  him  .   “   breakfast  might  have  been  a  bit  on  the  nose  upon  reflection  ---   but  i  swear  we  did  no  such  thing  .   i  only  thought  you  might  be  a  bit  peckish  .    ”

her  smile  is  hopefully  warming  .   she  does  all  that  she  can  to  be  believed  when  lucy  tells  him  that  everything  is  fine  .   sometimes  it  is  difficult  to  guess  whether  he  takes  it  to  heart  .   she  smooths  her  hand  over  his  bare  shoulder  ,   trying  to  warm  him  after  he’s  gone  so  cold  .

“    how  does  your  head  feel  ?   you  were  quite  joyful  last  night  ...    ”

[joyeus]

me, tears streaming down my face as i see mutual checker is back: baby never leave me again

[joyeus]

can you walk? / sam 4 lucy uwu

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @turnstyles   ( sam )    /    𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔠  𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔰𝔱   .

𝙻𝚄𝙲𝚈  𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴𝚂  𝙾𝙽  𝚂𝙸𝚇  𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙷  𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷  𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂  ,   simultaneously  embarrassed  and  relieved  that  he  has  asked  .   she  takes  the  offer  as  a  silence  way  of  providing  assistance  and  loops  her  arm  around  his  shoulders  .

“    𝔦  𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩  𝔬𝔴𝔢  𝔶𝔬𝔲  𝔪𝔶  𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔯𝔢  𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩  ---   𝔪𝔶  𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱  𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫'𝔰  𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩  𝔦𝔣  𝔶𝔬𝔲  𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶  𝔪𝔢  .    ”    she  says  ,   shaking  her  head  .    “   because  i  absolutely  cannot  walk  another  step  ,   i  am  so  sorry  .    ”

she  giggles  ,   perhaps  inadvisably  but  stops  so  as  to  prove  her  point  .   this  is  not  a  joke  ,   she  is  terribly  drunk  and  needs  his  help  . 

lucy  merges  the  words  ‘ thank  you ’  with  ‘ i  would  die  for  you ’  when  sam  agrees  .   with  all  the  finesse  of  a  man  used  to  lifting  amps  ,   he  scoops  her  up  under  the  knee  and  sets  off  .

it’s  a  battle  trying  not  to  laugh  ,   one  that  she  loses  as  she  tosses  back  her  head  and  lets  her  shoulders  shake  .   holding  on  to  his  neck  to  try  and  balance  out  the  weight  distribution  is  a  challenge  ,   but  she  grips  him  tight  .

“    i  shall  have  a  ways  to  fall  should  you  drop  me  ,   little  mouse  .    ”    she  sighs  ,   a  residual  giggle  affecting  her  emphasis  on  certain  syllables  .   but  she  presses  her  cheek  to  his  collarbone  .    “    though  i  am  most  certain  you  will  not  .   you  are  terribly  dependable  .    ”

[joyeus]

that’s... a lot of blood / ren to jess LOL

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @enduir   ( reneesme )    /    𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔠  𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔰𝔱   .

𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃  ,   𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃  ,   𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃  ,   𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚃  .   how  old  is  reneesme  again  ?   old  enough  not  to  be  scarred  for  life  by  her  babysitter  chewing  on  bambi’s  throat  ,   hopefully  .

she’s  a  smart  cookie  ,   though  ,   ‘cause  there  is  an  awful  lot  of  gore  happening  in  the  woods  tonight  .   jessica  flips  her  hair  back  ,   some  of  it  sticking  to  her  face  with  the  dried  blood  smeared  up  her  cheek  .   trying  to  be  graceful  ,   she  lifts  a  hand  and  pries  it  away  .

“    𝔧𝔢𝔰𝔲𝔰  ,   𝔦  𝔱𝔬𝔩𝔡  𝔶𝔬𝔲  𝔱𝔬  𝔰𝔦𝔱  𝔱𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱  𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔢  𝔦  𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱  𝔞𝔫𝔡  𝔤𝔬𝔱  𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤  𝔱𝔬  𝔢𝔞𝔱  .    ”    jessica  exclaims  ,   but  then  shrugs  .    “    in  retrospect  i  ,   like  ,   should’ve  specified  .   but  i’m  a  vampire  ,   kiddo  .    ”

it’s  fucking  freezing  out  ,   too  .   and  jess  knows  this  kid’s  capable  of  getting  a  cold  .   she  wipes  her  hands  on  her  jeans   ( so  long  ,   miss  sixty )   and  tries  to  look  presentable  .

“    come  on  ,   let’s  go  back  to  the  house  .   once  i’ve  cleaned  up  i’ll  ,   like  ,   make  us  popcorn  or  something  .   and  totally  not  to  buy  your  silence  so  that  you  don’t  tell  your  mom  about  the  impromptu  saw  movie  in  your  backyard  .     ”

[rothelp]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.

[joyeus]

𝙿𝙰𝚄𝙻  𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽    /   endless  edits  . –––    𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑  𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠  𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑤𝑎𝑟  𝑚𝑎𝑐𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑒  .

[joyeus]

paul is :

so fucking dumb. like thought american’s speak american dumb

super duper unfairly hot and fully aware of it

extremely particular over the look of his hair but will legit beg someone to play with it and destroy his hard work

bops to anything that’s boppable, it doesn’t matter the genre. he’s not a purist

lives exclusively on a cocktail of weed, blood, tequila and funnel cake

collects a safety pin for every n*zi he’s killed

surfs at night like a fucking weirdo and will tell the story of how he beat up a shark to anyone who will listen to it

drinks respect women juice

secretly likes doris day a lot, but he’s a little embarrassed about it

he rents cool world over and over from the vhs store

[joyeus]

* ❬❬   ◝  .   becomesdeath​    /    𝔷𝔞𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 : 𝙻𝚄𝙲𝚈.

𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇   passive   fascination   ,   he   cannot   help   but   wonder   how   his   unhinged   maw   may   be   enough   to   swallow   her   whole   ;   how   delicate   she   looks   with   her   slender   digits   twisted   within   the   core   of   her   favored   mortal   of   the   evening                  dainty   ,   lady-like   ,   ever   the   picture   of   elegance   in   the   way   she   holds   herself.   everything   about   lucy’s   ethereal   essence   is   enough   to   strike   the   frightening   contrast   of   her   untouchable   BEAUTY   against   the   jagged   ,   bloodied   edges   of   his   disfigured   presence.   and   yet                   as   she   reaches   to   beckon   him   closer   ,   the   death   dealer   cannot   help   but   draw   near.

head   cocks   to   one   side   as   a   burning   jewel   gaze   studies   her   with   sudden   intent   ;   it   is   a   pensive   sort   of   intrigue   ,   one   that   causes   finely-done   brows   to   crease   together   until   a   single   wrinkle   forms   between   them.   when   a   bird-like   arm   wraps   around   a   firm   waist   to   guide   him   close   ,   he   takes   the   utmost   care   to   perch   himself   𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙋𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙁𝙐𝙇𝙇𝙔   ,   dutifully   ,   at   her   side                  as   any   proper   soldier   should.   zaiden   angles   his   tall   frame   &   bows   his   head                  an   instinctive   habit   ,   one   he   had   developed   any   time   lucy   came   close   to   twirl   through   his   vicinity   with   her   bell-like   lilt                  and   when   he   is   finally   able   to   hold   her   gaze   ,   lips   part.   

the   beat   of   silence   continues   &   as   a   manicured   fingernail   traces   the   sharp   edges   of   angular   features   ,   a   gloved   hand   lifts.   with   sudden   tenderness   uncharacteristic   for   a   𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓   like   him   ,   he   wraps   his   fingers   around   a   slight   wrist                    but   oh   ,   how   he   urges   her   close   rather   than   to   push   her   away.   gingerly   ,   he   takes   her   hand   within   his   to   turn   it   over   until   her   palm   can   cradle   the   hollows   of   his   high   cheekbones   ,   until   her   taloned   fingers   splay   out   against   the   curvature   of   his   visage.   ❛   and   you   choose   to   expend   your   enchantment   on   me   ?   ❜   baritone   drawl   is   quiet   ,   somber                  and   when   he   gazes   at   her   ,   it   is   merely   to   study   the   adoration   reflecting   back   at   him   in   ruby-red   eyes.   ❛   a   lady   should   never   waste   her   energies                  i   cannot   allow   that.   ❜

𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴  𝙼𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃  𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝚁  𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼  𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙳  ,   in  that  limited  ,   ugly  way  people  so  often  have  .   lucy  cares  very  little  for  if  the  man  sitting  next  to  her  has  claws  —   so  does  she  ,   and  he  has  never  made  her  use  them  .   not  once  .  

she  gives  his  middle  an  affectionate  squeeze  ,   allowing  him  to  guide  her  closer  .   if  she  had  a  heart  it  would  be  fluttering  like  butterfly  wings  .   if  lucy  focuses  enough  she  can  feel  the  sensation  tickling  her  ribs  .   she  pushes  her  chest  against  zaiden’s  ,   smiling  at  his  yearning  in  an  uncomplicated  way  .   who  is  she  if  not  a  lady  of  generosity  ?

his  skin  does  not  feel  cold  when  compared  to  her  own  .   their  mutual  temperatures  come  together  and  settle  in  a  pleasant  sort  of  compromise  .   there  is  no  reminder  from  him  that  she  is  dead  ,   her  fingers  fan  out  and  tap  gently  against  his  cheek  .  her  thumb  traces  the  sharp  curve  of  his  beautiful  jaw  .

“    𝔡𝔬  𝔶𝔬𝔲  𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴  𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶  𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥  𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱  𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔠  ,   𝔪𝔶  𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔯  ?    ”    she  coos  ,   her  red  smile  alight  with  honest  mirth  .   

there  is  never  any  tendency  towards  fabricating  emotions  for  his  benefit  .   what  she  feels  is  enough  ,   if  not  likely  more  than  what  he  is  used  to  .   lucy  brushes  a  strand  of  his  ink - black  hair  back  over  his  ear  before  her  hand  drops  to  his  .

slowly  ,   she  coaxes  his  arm  around  her  .   as  easy  as  it  is  to  be  caught  up  in  the  act  of  being  held  ,   lucy  wants  to  remind  him  that  he  need  not  get  permission  to  hold  her  back  .

“    it  delights  me  to  inform  you  that  my  charms  are  renewable  ,   and  they  only  renew  for  you  .   lucky  boy  .    ”    her  hand  returns  to  his  cheek  ,   her  knee  pressing  gently  against  his  .    “   and  besides  ,   fair  one  ,   you  are  more  than  worth  my  energies  .   especially  with  the  energy  you  expend  to  keep  us  safe  .    ”

[joyeus]

“where are you taking me?” / nes to jess

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @enduir​​   ( reneesme )   /    𝔰𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯   .

𝙸𝙽  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙽𝚃  𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚃  𝙾𝙵  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚄𝚂  ,   𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂  𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴  𝙰  𝙶𝙾𝙳  .   jessica  nudges  her  elbow  against  reneesme’s  shoulder  ,   the  gesture  kindly - meant  but  not  exactly  an  answer  .   she  pointedly  waits  until  she’s  backing  out  of  the  cullen’s  driveway  before  giving  that  .

“    𝔴𝔢'𝔯𝔢  𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔞  𝔤𝔬  𝔱𝔬  𝔞  𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢  𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡  𝔰𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢  𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢  𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶'𝔳𝔢  𝔤𝔬𝔱  𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤  𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡  𝔞  𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔩  .    ”    jess  explains  like  the  girl  in  the  passenger’s  seat  is  being  confronted  with  brand  new  information  .   

hey  ,   for  all  she  knows  ,   she  could  be  right  .   or  this  could  be  kidnapping  .

“   they’re  ,   like  ,   an  oasis  of  civilization  in  the  barren  dessert  of  trees  and  rocks  and  birds  !!    ”   she  continues  .    “    where  you  can  buy  moderately  priced  jeans  and   over - priced  smoothies  .   the  goal  of  today  is  to  get  you  a  new  wardrobe  ,   one  that  you  can  pick  yourself  .    ”

[joyeus]

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @allaegan​   /    𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔯   .                                                ↳   mercedes .

𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙸𝚂  𝙰  𝙽𝚄𝚁𝚂𝙴  𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃  ,   𝙰𝙻𝙼𝙾𝚂𝚃  𝚃𝙾  𝙰  𝙵𝙰𝚄𝙻𝚃  .   mercedes’  face  remains  stony  and  unchanged  as  she  adjusts  the  bandage  at  his  shoulder  ,   having  sustained  a  piercing  arrow  hardly  a  week  past  .   the  mother  has  her  endless  thanks  ,   it  does  not  appear  to  be  infected  .

pulling  back  ,   a  change  overcomes  her  .   mercedes’  eyes  squeeze  shut  as  she  smiles  so  widely  ,   enough  to  tax  her  beautiful  face  .   the  bubbling  joy  she  has  since  contained  bursts  freely  forth  .

“    𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨  𝔱𝔥𝔢  𝔤𝔬𝔡𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔰  ,   𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢  𝔬𝔫  𝔱𝔥𝔢  𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔡  !!    ”    she  exclaims  ,   lurching  forward  and  carefully  tucking  her  arms  around  g’raha’s  middle  .   avoiding  his  shoulder  is  key  ---   she  would  hate  to  cause  him  any  more  pain  .    “    you  did  exactly  as  i  told  you  ,   keeping  it  clean  and  well - bandaged  .   really  ,   it  is  your  efforts  more  than  mine  that  have  secured  your  swift  recovery  .   i  am  so  very  proud  .    ”

[joyeus]

*  𝚂𝙷𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂  𝙰  𝙱𝙰𝙶  𝙾𝙵  𝙲𝙰𝚃  𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝚂  *   come  get  y’all  plots  !!   like  this  and  i’ll  invade  your  ims  /  disco  to  talk  potential  dynamics  and  scenarios  for  my  kids  and  yours  ♥♥

[joyeus]

“there’s so much light in you” / chaos to lucy

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @enduir​   ( chaos )    /    𝔰𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯   .

𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙻𝙴  𝚆𝙸𝚂𝙿  𝙾𝙵  𝙰  𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻  𝙶𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚂  𝙰  𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴  .   perched  on  a  dilapidated  pillar  ,   she  feels  much  smaller  next  to  them  than  she  does  even  hades  .   lucy  is  wary  of  compliments  down  here  ,   usually  those  with  mind  enough  to  give  them  often  have  ulterior  motives  .

but  what  is  the  worst  that  could  happen  ?   she  is  already  dead  .

“    𝔦  𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢  𝔱𝔬  𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨  𝔦𝔱  𝔦𝔰  𝔡𝔲𝔢  𝔱𝔬  𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢  𝔰𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔩  𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱  𝔦  𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔰𝔰  𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔩𝔶  ,    ”    she  sparkles  ,   tossing  her  hair  and  beaming  in  the  dark  .   chaos  does  not  seem  so  bad  ,   she  thinks  .   

and  many  of  the  gods  sprang  from  them  ,   as  well  .   kind  beings  with  capable  hearts  and  minds  .   the  harm  of  discourse  aside  ,   their  existence  has  allowed  for  her  hope  .

“    joy  in  the  face  of  adversity  is  much  more  interesting  ,   i  have  found  ,   than  the  alternative  .   grief  grows  quite  dull  ,   monotonous  .   there  is  always  light  to  draw  from  ,   as  the  moon  does  the  far - off  sun  .    ”

[joyeus]

“ i trust you. more than anyone else. ” i will not stop asking for didi/carlisle

* ❬❬   ◝  .   @killerfied   ( carlisle )    /    𝔰𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯   .

𝙰  𝙱𝙴𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙵𝚄𝙻  𝙰𝙽𝙳  𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙱𝙻𝙴  𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙰  ,   𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈  .   but  it  is  far  better  than  selling  one’s  loyalty  to  aro  ---   in  her  opinion  .   still  ,   didyme  shifts  uncomfortably  in  her  seat  under  the  guise  of  trying  to  right  her  posture  .   trusting  anyone  in  this  castle  is  begging  to  be  hurt  in  ways  crueller  than  his  mind  can  imagine  .

she  puts  her  hand  in  his  hair  ,   slowly  shaking  his  head  .

“    𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰  𝔦𝔰  𝔫𝔬𝔱  𝔱𝔥𝔢  𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢  𝔱𝔬  𝔭𝔲𝔱  𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔱  𝔦𝔫  𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔢  ,   𝔞𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔬  .    ”    she  says  ,   but  cannot  help  trying  to  smile  in  a  reassuring  way  .   his  hair  is  soft  ,   his  expression  so  earnest  and  gentle  that  she  cannot  help  but  trust  him  too  .

it  will  hurt  miserably  when  aro  uses  him  as  the  weapon  when  he  intends  to  kill  her  again  .   didyme  knows  her  brother  ---   he  will  not  miss  a  second  time  .

“    guard  yourself  ,   for  my  sake  if  not  your  own  .   you  can  believe  no  one  here  .    ”

[joyeus]

* ❬❬   ◝  .   saintswept​    /    𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔨

                           STARTER    @joyeus​    /    MICHAEL    SHELLEY

            THE    TWISTS    &    TURNS    A    LIFE    CAN    TAKE        are    wondrous    at    times    ,    a    theme    malik    ,    these    days    ,    has    a    thing    or    two    to    say    about    .    how    easy    it    is    to    slip    from    the    known    into    a    world    he    could    not    have    guessed    existed    .    how    little    it    takes    for    everything    to    fall    apart    ,    it    is    laughable    thinking    about    it    later    .    stumbling    through    one    door        (        a    new    door    he    insisted    at    the    time    &    knows    now    that    he    has    been    right    .        )        &    emerging    on    the    other    side    ,    the    same    but    changed    .    demands    whispered    in    his    ear    that    seem    horrid    but    are    sensible    if    one    makes    enough    excuses    for    himself    .    malik    has    done    nothing    else    for    the    years    before    ,    excuses    ,    apologies    ,    half    truths    .    it    takes    little    guessing    why    he    was    chosen    .        (        OR    DID    HE    CHOOSE    WITHOUT    KNOWING    ?        )        all    things    considered    ,    there    is    so    little    surprise    in    the    encounter    that    follows    ,    it    almost    feels    fated    .        ‘        i    like    what    you    did    with    the    place    .        ‘        eyes    wandering    across    the    impossibilities    of    this    domain    ,    meant    to    trick    the    ind    if    one    does    not    know    what    to    look    for    .    malik    knows    .    that    is    why    he    is    here    ,    after    all    .        ‘        did    not    think    to    come    here    again    so    soon    ,    however        ———        ’

𝙸𝚃  𝙸𝚂  𝙴𝚇𝙲𝚁𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚃𝙾  𝙱𝙴  𝚂𝙴𝙴𝙽  𝙱𝚈  𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁  .   to  be  known  like  this  ,   as  a  physical  object  with  a  body  ,   it  is  not  right  .   michael’s  arms  wind   ( and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind  and  wind )   around  his  torso  ,   a  self - soothing  gesture  that  is  ultimately  pointless  .

the  searing  pain  will  not  stop  .   he  could  be  seen  so  he  is  seen  .   malik  is  just  another  pair  of  eyes  .

“    𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞   ...   𝔞𝔥  .    ”    the  heavy  sigh  at  the  end  sounds  so  close  to  what  it  used  to  be  .   

every  word  spoken  with  a  heavy  ,   clumsy  tongue  feels  wrong  and  orderly  .   he  longs  to  it  it  out  ,   to  stop  being  a  he  .

“    i  didn’t  think  i’d  changed  anything  ,    ”    michael  says  .   he  leans  against  the  wall  but  it  offers  no  stability  .   his  head  swims  ,   the  constant  twisting  threatening  to  suffocate  his  ---   lungs  .

does  he  have  those  any  more  ?   what  is  he  now  ?   was  he  anything  before  .

“    it  just  came  so  naturally  ,    ”    he  smiles  with  too  many  teeth  .    “    but  you  know  exactly  what  i  mean  .    did  you  stumble  in  here  by  accident  ?   just  couldn’t  stay  away  .    ”

[joyeus]

𝙻𝚄𝙲𝚈  𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚁𝙰    /   endless  edits  .  –––    𝘩𝑒  𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 ,   "  𝑠𝘩𝑒  𝘩𝑎𝑠  𝑎  𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦  𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 ;  𝑔𝑜𝑑  𝑖𝑛  𝘩𝑖𝑠  𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑦  𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑑  𝘩𝑒𝑟  𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒 ,  "